TW Workbook #2 - week 2 review

The most significant thing God taught me this week:
My body is not my own. It's amazing for me to contemplate that the Holy Spirit actually sets up residence within me. Oh how I need to allow Him, the Ruler of the universe, to be Ruler and King in my own life, to honor Him, to seek Him, to be WILLING to surrender, to not harden myself with the sin of gluttony, to allow His kingdom come His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

At least one change that has occurred in my life since last week at this time:
I am beginning to become more aware once again of #5 (satisfaction) approaching.

The most significant thing that God helped me to observe this week that I will focus on correcting next week:

* Seek Him MORE.

* And begin to APPLY honoring Him with my body on a practical level. The things that I felt God speaking to me in this regard are:
1.) Allow my body to be a living sacrifice in total surrender to Him - give Him ALL OF ME.
2.) Serve Him by serving others. My body can be used by Him - my feet to carry me to places He wants me to go, my lips to encourage and bless others, my hands to care for others, my arms to hug, my ears to listen...etc.
3.) Put good stuff in my body - fruits & veggies, less sugar
4.) Eat only what my body needs.
5.) Move my body so I can stay healthy and strong and serve others.
God created my body and life with a purpose in mind. I need to keep this perspective.

Here is something I felt was a challenge and encouragement to me that was posted here on the TW forum:

1) to speak a heartfelt prayer before we eat (more than just a blessing) inviting Jesus to join us for the meal while being mindful that Jesus is our unseen guest at the meal. If Jesus were really there...eating with us in the flesh, He wouldn't be gorging Himself with food...He's be looking at us, smiling, and focusing on us. We are going to try and do the same...focusing on Him, while sharing a meal together.

2) By putting the fork down in between bites, it's as if we are pausing for conversation with Him...thanking Him for His provision of the food and focusing more on Him than on the food. In the course of the meal, we are asking Him to reveal His plans and purposes for us. We're listening to what He has to say...as we share this meal together.

This is what we're hoping for...to be obedient to whatever He has to say
to us!

What I have learned about the character of God as sovereign and good, and how I have come to know and be drawn closer to Him:
I am struck again and again by how He truly is ABOVE ALL....Ruler, King, All-knowing, All-powerful. And on top of all that He is GOOD. He is gracious and kind. And I desire to praise Him name and bring glory to Him in every way possible.

My prayer requests:
#1. To not overindulge this week as I head up a homemade chocolate making night at church. Lot of temptations will be lying around.
#2. To be surrendered at all times, to have an undivided heart, to walk in His truth. LOOK, ASK, WALK.

My praise and thanksgiving thoughts:
God is good. I am so thankful for His graciousness, His kindness and mercy. And I am thankful for His purposes. I'm also so thankful for His promise to bring His good work to completion in me one day. That is such an encouragement to me. I cling to Him. I press on.

TW Workbook #1 - week 1 review

This week's readings have been like water to my soul. It's been so refreshing and has given me fresh glimpses of God's heart. God has spoken to me many times over the past week. I thought I'd share my thoughts from "Review of the Week" here. I think this may be a good way to reflect on what I have learned.

The most significant things God taught me this week:

#1. He will build again.

"I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel." Jeremiah 31:4

I felt God's words to Israel being spoken to my soul. Though I am broken and have slipped and slid into the muck and mire of greed and given my heart's affections to something other than the Lord...He woos me back and promises to continue the good work He started and will build me up again.

#2. God loves me and pursues me. He is the initiator of love.

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.....We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:8-10, 19

#3. God knows me yet loves me.

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord." Psalm 139:1-4

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners he died for us." Romans 5:8

God knows me. I mean REALLY knows me. He knows everything about me, the good stuff and the bad. He even knows the sins I will commit in the future. Yet He loves me. This has touched me deeply. It was a WOW moment to let this settle into my heart. My perfectionism sometimes pushes me to feel I must perform to be acceptable. Yet this is not the case. He first loved us...and that was (is) when we're stuck in the muck and mire of sin.

#4. He wants me to experience the abundant life, life to the full. His riches are available to me, as a child of His kingdom.

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10
"..the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." Colossians 1:27

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive in Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up in Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:4-9

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

#5. Look, Ask, Walk.

"Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." Jeremiah 6:16

#6. Seek God - call, come, pray. And God promises He will listen and we will find Him.

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity." Jeremiah 29:12-13

These verses reminded me of the following illustration:

God created us for intimacy with Him. Because of sin, each of us has broken the fellowship that God longs to have with us. His complete holiness and our unholiness naturally repel each other. I often describe the kinetics of this relationship like two magnets. What happens when you have two magnets and you bring them together, north pole to north pole? They repel each other. It is just the natural way of things. You can force them very close together, but you can't keep them that way because they naturally repel each other. But what happens if one of the magnets turns around? What happens when you bring the two magnets together, north pole to south pole? The very same principle of magnetism that made them repel each other before, now makes them attract. They come together with an upstoppable force. It is just the natural way of things. ("Secrets Jesus Shared" workbook by Jennifer Kennedy Dean pg 134)

Isn't that beautiful? I have been chewing on this illustration for the past week or so. I feel challenged to turn to Him and live being loved.

My experience in waiting for and finding hunger this first week of TW:
For the most part I've experienced victory in waiting for #0 this week.

The most significant thing that God helped me to observe this week that I will focus on correcting next week.
Look. Ask. Walk. (Jeremiah 6:16) Apply this truth in moments of temptation.
This upcoming week I also feel challenged on a practical level to reduce the size of my dishes, which in turn should reduce portion sizes, which ultimately I hope helps me discover satisfaction (#5) with less food. I also don't want to be mastered by food and therefore don't want to rush to the food the second my body feels hunger pangs, but rather to seek God in those moments and be asking for Him to guide me and give me self-control as I fuel my body. I feel challenged to respect this body that He has gifted me with and stop at #5.

What I have learned about the character of God as love and jealous, and how I have come to know and be drawn closer to him:
He pursues me. He wants the best for me. He has a plan and purpose for me. He longs for me to tap into the abundant life that He makes available to me~Christ in me! He is saddened and jealous when my affections lie elsewhere, when my heart is divided.

My prayer requests:

To experience peace. To fall into a rhythm again. But most of all to carve out constant time with the Lord and to have an undivided heart.

My praise and thanksgiving thoughts:
He knows yet loves! Wow! That is worth praise! And He indwells and offers me the abundant life. Thank you, Lord.

A new promise

How strange this "thin within" journey has been!

Long and winding, perserverance and endurance is essential. This is not for the faint of heart, not a quick solution, not a quick fix. This journey, in drawing nearer to God, aligning my heart with His, seeking to surrender my whole body to His will, is a life long journey.

Sometimes it has been smooth sailing. Was I relying on self-effort alone in those times I have to wonder? As I set up so many goals for myself and formed plans for myself...I am left to ponder if I was trying to do it on my own much of the time. Yet success on a level was tasted. I lost 24 lbs, after years of being unable to make headway. I drew very near to God and experienced relationship with Him on a daily basis in the most intimate and special way ever in my lifetime.

Yet sometimes this journey has been bumpy beyond imagination, sliding down mucky slopes, falling into deep ravines where hope seems far away... I swing from one side of the pendulum to the other, completely giving up and no longer even trying. It just feels too hard. It feels too exhausting. It feels too restrictive. It feels too impossible. The pull of my fleshly desires is magnetic.

And the weight crept back on slowly but surely. And my heart feels like there is a wall between God and I. I feel like I am so near, but so far. I feel like my heart's affections are just not set on HIM. Certainly not on Him alone. My heart is divided I guess. Oh Lord, give me an undivided heart I pray.

I thought "The Lord's Table" study would help me get back on track. But I began to feel like a club of condemnation was constantly hitting me over the head and finally decided to set it aside. I could feel myself becoming legalistic and controlling. The first time I worked through the material I did not feel this way. I embraced the teaching and followed 0-5 eating as my eating schedule and grew spiritually by leaps and bounds. But this time round it just felt different. I don't know how to explain it except that it felt forced.

I decided to order the TW workbook #1 after this realization hit me. It arrived in the mail last night and I already started gobbling it up:-) I had read the TW book format so many times it had become too familiar to really take root in my heart again. I needed a fresh look at the TW (and most importantly biblical) teachings that have resonated with me so many times over the past two years. I am NOT disappointed! Wow, I am hit anew with so many things. I think I'll try blogging my journey through the workbook...if I have time...which seems to be more scarce this year!

Here is the new promise that God spoke to my heart last night, which I am going to cling to...

"I will build you again and you will be rebuilt." Jeremiah 31:4

I'm so excited! I'm going to be REBUILT! Woohoo!

"Forget the former thing; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing!" Isaiah 43:18

Don't dwell on my past mistakes or even on my past successes. God is going to do a new thing and build me anew. That is so amazing. I'm encouraged. I feel hope welling up again. God continues doing His good work in me and WILL bring it to completion, as He promised me two years ago. I just have to cling to Him and hang on for the ride!