Planning and Preparing

I wanted to remember some of the stuff posted on this thread at the thin within forums. There is some really good stuff posted there that is worth reading.

TW Summer Study - day 11

Day Eleven ~ Removal of the Rubble

Rubble is defined as "broken bits and pieces of anything, as that which is demolished."

Has gluttony and greed been demolished, destroyed, ruined, torn down, laid to waste yet? I guess I feel like God has given me a measure of victory in this battle... But I feel a bit like the Israelites at times, clinging to some of the idols, stealing some of the forbidden plunder...not allowing the ruin to be complete. Sometimes I even wonder if I have some walls still standing.

Regardless, God desires the rubble to be removed. I know He wants me to be whole and healed and free in Him. That is the point of this chapter.

Here is probably the largest piece of rubble that I see lingering in the ruins...

This is my body, and I can do with it as I please. TW pg110

Ah, flat out rebellion! A good old temper tantrum! A self-focussed, pleasure-seeking attitude.

Not only are you a temple, a santuary in which God has chosen to dwell, but you are set apart by Him and for Him. You are His! TW pg111

If I could *really* connect with the above truth, I know I would experience a new level of freedom in Christ.

Set apart. His temple. What a privilege and honor and joy. I am humbled and excited and nervous all at once!

This ol' jar of clay?! You sure, Lord? Wow! You really do love me!

His provision... He empowers... We can live in peace... TW pg112

Peace. This is what I am seeking at this point in my TW journey. I want to be present in His Presence and experience His peace.

Here is some more rubble that the chapter highlighted which I could well relate to...

Lie: The joy I get from eating is worth any suffering that happens as a result.

Far too often this is the kind of thinking I have. I know in my heart that I will regret it later...but I go ahead anyways and eat outside the 0-5 boundaries or eat what I know is not what God is directing me towards.

Truth: Rejoice in the Lord always. Phil. 4:4

True joy only comes from the Lord. I need to remember this. There are no regrets when I feed on Living Water and the Bread of Life.

Lie: I will worry about getting control of my eating when things aren't so crazy or hectic.

Hmm... Sounds like a classic line that I use just about every chance I get. There will ALWAYS be an excuse! Honestly! I believe I could make up one for just about every day of the year! Anyways, the one I'm dealing with right now is summer travels. I know things are going to be out of whack, particularily when we head to Mexico (same place as last year) and are living according to the schedule of our host family for 2 weeks...and then of course when we are enjoying the family vacation portion and being tempted to do the "tourist nibbling" thing. So I could easily pull out this excuse and stop being intentional... But... I know this is not a renewing of my mind with truth.

Truth: Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:13-15

The truth of the matter is that since I can always make up an excuse, no excuse is a good excuse! I must live intentionally in step with the Lord, in the Presence of the Lord, in the PRESENT....not just in the future! NOW is the time! The Kingdom of God, the reign of God, is NOW for His child.

And the thing I appreciate most about God is that He is gracious...and He is not leaving me unequipped... Rather, His word says (as paraphrased TW pg114) You have been given everything you need for life and godliness by His very great and precious promises (2 Peter 1:3).

Here's a quote I love and bears repeating...

You can say, "I can't," as long as in the next breath you say, "But, God, You can." (as quoted by Kay Arthur in TW on pg114)

The prayer on pg115 is my prayer today:

Please break me where I am proud and strengthen me where I am weak so I can surrender fully to You and to the power of Your transforming grace.

Truth Journaling ~ Sugary Stuff

Here's something I truth journaled just yesterday evening. I think my version of "truth journaling" is blended with the "Thin Within" observation/correction model. Ultimately I'd say both approaches are aimed at taking every thought captive and making them obedient to the Lord and to be transformed by the renewing of the mind.

"...we take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

"...be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

Situation:
Sugar is like a web, sucking me into its' vice grip day after day. The situation that drove me to journal about it was my overindulgence in sweet treats after eating a good well balance dinner....starting with eating a large slice of oreo cheesecake...which led to eating some slivers of cheesecake as I put it away.....which led to eating some jelly beans....which led to eating some cinnamon toast crunch cereal. What a slippery slope I was on!!!!

#1. I think it's okay to have sugar in moderation each day.
True. But am I able to eat sugar in moderation? Or do I need to cut it loose for a season? Right now it is my master and I am its slave. Fasting from sugar may be an act of submission to the Lord that is needed right now. My body and life need to be a living sacrifice to the Lord. I cannot serve two masters. If I feel I can't live without it, this probably reflects that I need to be challenged to try!

"No one can serve to masters." Matthew 6:24 (though this is in direct reference to money, it still seems very applicable to food)

"Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship." Romans 2:1

#2. Sugary stuff is the only thing that sounds good to eat at this moment. This is certainly true. But pre-planning healthy options may help. Healthy stuff will likely sound more appealing if it is ready and available. A lot of my eating choices are based on how quick, accessible and visible the food is...particularily sugar.

#3. Sugary stuff is the only thing that hits the spot.
Not quite true. I'm in a rut where my tastebuds are wired to *crave* sugar. Many other things could hit the spot if I gave them a chance! I just need to get out of this cycle. And on top of everything, GOD should ultimately be the only ONE to "hit the spot"....certainly not food.

#4. I'm not past a #5 yet and really want some jelly beans (after the cheesecake...and extra slivers of cheesecake as I put it away).
That kind of attitude sets me on the slippery slope to defeat. Not only will I likely never feel that satisfied feeling that I'm looking for (rarely does it hit me when I'm eating sugar)...but I will likely also go past a #5 and eat till my tummy hurts and then to top it all off, I'll feel guilty because I stepped outside the boundaries I feel called to. Pushing my hunger #'s like this reflects the greed in my heart and the mastery of sugar and lack of submission to the Lord.

#5. That cinnamon toast crunch cereal looks so yummy. I want some. It can count as part of my supper meal, since I just ate an hour ago (after oreo cheesecake, extra slivers and jelly beans).
The cereal looked (and was) yummy. Unfortuantely I'm still continuing on the dangerous slippery slope. It led to MUCH extra eating. Boundaries are important and prudent in this situation. Once I push my chair away from the dinner table I need to learn to be done. No ifs ands or buts! Eating past that point is greedy (for me at this time) and once again food (usually sugar) is master. It is no longer beneficial for me.

"Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12

So, in response to this truth journaling and the strong awareness I have that I am allowing sugar to take a high place in my own life, I felt led to take simply one day where I abstained from desserts. I sometimes take a stronger stance and aim to not eat dessert for a week, a month etc... But this time it was just for one day.... And the battles I faced today were really quite unbelievable considering I was only aiming FOR ONE DAY!!!! Obviously I'm needing to take these fleshly thoughts and desires captive and make them obedient to Christ.

First, I was gravitating towards a cappacino/flavored coffee drink... But I knew that was a sugary treat and also knew that I need to avoid caffeine.

Secondly, Jon's birthday cheesecake was beckoning me AGAIN at dinner this evening! I left the table, cleaned up the dishes, sat and talked with Jon for awhile, cracked open the bible and read those verses from 1 Cor. 6:12 and then posted to my accountability group as follows....

------------------

7:00pm
Oh, I don't feel like posting this right now....but this may very well be exactly what I need to do to choose to do the right thing. I had planned to avoid dessert for just one day (that is TODAY!)....and oh how that oreo cheesecake is calling my name. I've been toying with whether or not to eat a piece for the past half hour....and still don't know what I'm going to do. I know that all things are permissible but not all things are beneficial to me. All things are permissible but I should be mastered by nothing but God. I'm really struggling to do what I know in my heart is the right thing... I'll touch base with y'all later and let you know what I end up doing....

Lord, help me make the right choice right now. I am really struggling wtih what my flesh is desiring. Yet I know that you alone satisfy. Nothing else should master me. Nothing else should take the highest place in my heart and life. Help me be obedient and submissive to you in all things, particularily right now as I contemplate this dessert. Help me surrender to your will. Make your will very evident to me, I pray. Amen.

7:15pm
Okay, the tempation has passed! The battle is over! I can't believe it!!! Praise God! I just decided to have some watermelon and closed the book on even considering the cheesecake. Woohoo! Thank you Lord!!!!!!

------------------

All I can say is PRAISE GOD for answered prayer! Praise God for renewing my mind.

I'm not sure what tomorrow holds, but I will keep seeking God.

Truth Journaling ~ Weight Gain

I have been working through "Freedom from Emotional Eating" by Barb Raveling. I have come to realize it is time for me to more frequently apply "truth journaling" as described in this book. I can see the parallels with the Thin Within concept of observation and correction. I think I'm going to try regularily posting some of my own truth journaling.

I'll start with a core situation/belief/emotion that I'm dealing with lately.

Situation:
As you will know, if you've been following my blog, is that I've struggled with gaining some of my weight back (8-10lbs to be specific), after releasing 24lbs.


#1. I'm not very attractive unless I'm in my BMI zone.
I'm always beautiful. The Bible says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) It also says that charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Prov. 31:30) Beauty is from the INSIDE.

#2. I'm never going to be able to make headway and experience lasting victory with regards to weight. Lack of belief that I will actually overcome.
God promised me (November 2007) that He is going to bring this good work that He started to COMPLETION. (Phil 1:6) Trust Him! I need to cling to God's word when I doubt I will actually overcome. The following two scriptures need to be clung to...

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Phil 4:13

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we
ask--we know that we have whatever we asked of him." 1 John 5:14-15

#3. I feel defeated.
The One who is in me is greater then the one who is in this world. (1 John 4:4) I am a LEARNER not a FAILURE! Each step back is simply a learning moment. Never consider a single defeat a final defeat (can't remember who that quote is from, but it sticks with me). I can't...but God you can.

#4. I feel humiliated.
Others are experiencing the same things as I am. I don't need to worry about how others view me. Keep my eyes fixed on God. Keep abiding with Him, clinging to Him.

#5. My self esteem feels low.
I really just need to dwell on Zeph. 3:17 as described in my previous post to remember how God views me. To be dwelling on self is a distraction that comes from the devil. My eyes need to be fixed on JESUS! When my value comes from Him, there is no room for these kinds of thoughts. He loves me. And He lives in me! What greater value can I have then to know that God, the GREATEST Treasure, lives in me, and that His power gets to be on display in my life!

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7

-----------------

I'm kind of new at this truth journaling, so this may not flow quite as smoothly as it will with time and practice. I can really see the value of doing this on a regular basis.

Okay, that's it for my blog bog today!!!!

Thoughts Captive to Christ

Here is a continuation or maybe even better yet, a completion, of what I had set out to do here and here.

I'll think for now I'll just tackle the main triggers for overeating (in TW terminology "fat/flesh machinery") that come to mind...

1. More is better.

This is a common thought I have as I shovel in more and more and more of my favorite foods. I'm particularily vulnerable when I'm tired or when I'm eating something very sugary and sweet. Does it satisfy me more?

God says I am to be content with my portion.

LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. Psalm 16:5-6

He meets my needs and has set pleasant boundaries in my life which lead to a delightful inheritance. I'm not sure that I'm interpretting these in the most theologically sound way! However, I appreciate these verses tremendously as I need to remember that 0-5 boundaries are pleasant! They are natural! They allow me to fix my eyes on Christ rather then on rules and regulation and FOOD! But I must be content with my portion! And the delightful inheritance is truly finding my greatest satisfaction in Christ and the icing on the cake is that I won't be carrying around excess weight if I'm truly content with my portion and the pleasant boundaries.


2. I can't resist!

When that homeade bread, cinnamon buns, chocolate bar, ice cream is staring me in the face...I often feel like I just can't resist! Yet God says provides a way out!

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful;
he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

3. It just taste SOOOO good, I want more!

I may taste very very delicious but God satisfies ever so much more!

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8

And the only thing that eating past satisfaction brings is shame and guilt and excess weight!


4. Just this one time!

This is my usual rationalizing at it's best (or worst!).

God says in the bible,

...sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." Genesis 4:7

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

...and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:27

That's just snapshot of some of the thoughts that try to gain entry into my mind with regards to the temptation to eat outside hunger and satisfaction. I continue to look into the mirror of God's Word for truth to hold up in the face of Satan's lies and temptations.

Auto-Pilot Mode lined up with God's Truth

Another thought that lines the walls of my mind is...

When I'm in auto pilot mode with overeating or am tempted to eat outside 0-5 I am thinking...


1.) Quick, quick! Do it quickly before you have time to think or second guess. Don't even think about praying right now. Just eat it quick!

Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Prov. 6:27

You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. Psalm 90:8

For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them. Matthew 13:15

but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. James 1:14-15

Shoving that food into my mouth as quick as I can is like scooping fire into my lap! I'll be burnt! I may be able to keep my overeating a secret from my friends and family...but not from God. No matter how quickly I shove food into my mouth He is always All-Knowing (and as I noted before, my sin grieves Him). May my heart not become calloused and closed. I desire God's healing touch. And once again by allowing my evil desire (thoughts/lies planted in my mind by Satan) to drag me away and entice me (it truly only takes a few split seconds!) I need to remember that this evil desire gives birth to sin. And once again I'm giving the devil a foothold by allowing my sinful desires to give birth to sin.



2.) It tastes so good. More WILL satisfy me more.

If you find honey, eat just enough—too much of it, and you will vomit. Proverbs 25:16

I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. Psalm 81:10

Taste and see that the LORD is good; Psalm 34:8

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. Psalm 63:5

When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart's delight, for I bear your name, O LORD God Almighty. Jeremiah 15:16

That first verse about honey is great! What a practical wise word! I mean I haven't actually ever vomitted from overeating... However, the whole point of that verse is that we need to adhere to moderation in our eating! Overeating doesn't make my body feel good! That's pretty straight forward! I need to get that through my head...to my taste-buds and down to my stomach! God has so much more in store for me then some extra brownies or a massive bowl of ice cream!!! I've been gathering that from the various studies I've been working through over the past year, in particular The Lord's Table. I'm to feast at His table, on HIM!

3.) I'm at the counter munching. This doesn't really "count."
and

4.) I'm just "extending" my lunch/supper meal a little longer. What's the harm in that?

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control. Proverbs 25:28

With lack of self-control and vigilance (stopping when I'm satisfied and practicing moderation) my overeating actually allows the enemy an opening in the wall, similar idea as the foothold imagery.

One verse that was hitting me last night as I was reading in Ephesians was:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

I can't "work" my way out of gluttony...no matter how many LISTS I create!!! (boy do I ever have a lot of those!) It is God's grace that saves me. I need to remember this as I become more "introspective" and examine the walls of my mind. There is no magic formula in recognizing the lies or even coming up with truth statements. What is important is that GOD cleanses, heals, restores, saves and transforms me from the inside out BY THE GIFT OF HIS GRACE! It is so freeing and encouraging to know that it is God's grace that is the KEY!

Thank you Lord for your grace and continued healing. Amen.

Willful Rebellion lined up with God's Truth

Day 14 of Thin Within is called "Choosing to Build on Truth." Here's a quote from Thin Within on pg 148:

The next time you face the pantry, refrigerator, or cookie jar, and you're really not hungry, ask yourself what you believe about your quest to become a vibrant, healthy temple of God. Ask yourself (and the Lord) what actions would follow if you were to believe what God's Word of truth says about you? God has promised to empower you so that your actions reap results that give glory to Him and an abiding joy within.

The Thin Within book has an exercise on pg 148 where you list your belief, what actions follow and then what the results are. I've done this exercise before and found it quite powerful. That being said, it's time to pick apart some of the thoughts that I noticed line the walls of my mind in certain times of temptations and then find scriptures to line up my thinking with the mind of Christ, keeping in mind that I am under the canopy of God's grace. So here goes... When I'm willfully rebellious I am thinking...and Scripture says...


1.) I (SELF) am the most important. My desires are the most important. I want what I want when I want it...and I get what I want.

Jesus replied: “'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37

For you, O LORD, are the Most High over all the earth; you are exalted far above all gods. Psalm 97:9

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Proverbs 3:5

everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made. Isaiah 43:7

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

God is above all. I am His creation. My job is to glorify Him in all I do, trusting Him and loving Him with my heart, soul, mind and strength. It is NOT glorifying to Him when I gratify the desires of my flesh.


2.) I've tried calling out to God in the midst of temptation before and it hasn't worked, so why bother trying?

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1
Corinthians 10:13

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; James 1:2-7

Why bother??? Because God promises that perseverance is developped and perseverance must finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Plus I am being called to press on, forgetting what is behind (all those past failures) so that I may win the prize (eternal life). That's worth it! God promises a way out of temptation, an escape route. I need to keep pressing on and looking for that way out and praying that promise. And then of course there is the truth recalled in the previous point...my greatest purpose in life is to glorify God in all I do.


3.) It will make me feel so much better (to eat that ice cream etc)--more energy, more enjoyment etc.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. Proverbs 14:12

Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more. Eph 4:19

Taste and see that the LORD is good; Psalm 34:8

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. Psalm 63:5

Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. Psalm 81:10

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Isaiah 55:2

It may make me feel better temporarily, but ultimately I will have a continual lust for more, food will never truly satisfy and it will lead to continued captivity. God promises to satisfy me more then even the richest foods. HE will fill me up.


4.) Just get it done and over with. I can't resist. Why bother?

"everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made." Isaiah 43:7

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Gal. 5:1

and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:27

Why bother??? Because God created me for His glory and I am to glorify Him in ALL I do, even my eating and drinking. Because, once again perseverance must finish its work so that I may be complete and mature spiritually, not lacking anything. God desires me to be FREE, not a captive! "Don't give the devil a foothold!" has been resonating with me today.


5.) God doesn't care about this one time, does He? He'd forgive me anyways, right?

Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Romans 12:9

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Eph 4:30

Of course He cares about this one time! One time piles on top of another time on top of another time which becomes a mountain eventually! God is saddened by my sin. He wants me to hate what is evil and cling to what is good and never give the devil a foothold.


6.) I sin. God forgives. I can count on that!

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. Romans 6:1-4

What a rotten attitude I have! God forgives me. I certainly can count on that. But it is “greasy grace” to think that this is license to continue sinning with no concern for true repentance. If I love God with my whole heart, soul, mind and strength I will NOT want to grieve Him and I will want to turn to Him to satisfy me and fill me up. I will want to move far away from sin and ever so much closer to Him!



This willful rebellion is just one of the temptation points, triggers (fat/flesh machinery), that I face on a regular basis. My prayer is, "Keep your servant, Christina, also from willful sins; may they not rule over me." (Psalm 19:13)

My next step is to formulate a plan in the midst of willful rebellion.

So, what is my plan of action, breaking a link in the chain??? I guess I need to apply these truths of Scripture to these moments now. It's test time! I need to be a "doer" of God's Word, not just a hearer.

Today I was standing at the counter and was wanting to reach for some sweet treats and the verse that popped into my head was "don't give the devil a foothold." I think that may be one of the truths I will have near and dear to my heart for awhile. Because that is what I'm doing when I give in with those small little temptations. It may seem insignificant and small, but in all honesty, my willful rebellion in those moments are giving a foothold (which I liken to a rung on a ladder) to Satan. And I want no part in that!!!

I plan to get a small spiral bound notebook and write some of the Scriptures that seem most benenficial down on these pages, and attach it to a necklace of some sort so I can wear it around the kitchen! That's when I'm most tempted so I thought that may be a good reminder for me to really apply these truths. I'll get that notebook asap. Just have to get to the store. The first verse I'm going to print out is "and do not give the devil a foothold." I will aim to memorize whichever scriptures are in this little notebook.

And I will also continue watching and praying, putting up that "keep away" sign, saying aloud as Jesus did "Get away Satan, for it is written..." and praying the promises of the Lord.

Well, that's enough from me today. I appologize to those of you who read my blog, for being so long winded. I guess this blog is just my way of processing everything (essentially my journal) and it all spews out here, each and every thought that runs through my head and heart!!!

The Lord's Table~Day 24, 25, 26

Day 24~Vigilance

"Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41

Watch and pray. Watch and pray. Watch and pray.

How many times do I need to say that to get that through my head????!!!

The following question is asked: What are some specific areas of temptation that you need to be watchful and pray about?

That question sure sounds a lot like the Thin Within term "fat or flesh machinery" (what causes me to turn to food when I'm not hungry).

My usual (!) answers: tiredness, social occasions, evening munchies, taste testing etc...

Here's a great verse to add to the "watch and pray" advisory that Jesus gives...

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 1 Peter 5:8-9

The magnetic pull of food is a reflection of the power of Satan's lies and what lines the walls of my mind. Yet how encouraging it is to know that he CANNOT make me do anything. As the Beth Moore "Breaking Free" study highlights...

"Satan does not have the power or authority to lock believers in a prison of oppression. He works overtime to talk us into staying because he lacks the power to keep us there. Satan can presume no authority over Christians. He only has authority by invitation. He woos us into prison cells, but he cannot make us enter nor force us to stay. Unfortunately, Satan doesn't require a written invitation. Failure to post a "keep away" sign through Bible study and prayer can be invitation by default. Do not misunderstand me to say that Satan can inhabit the mind of a believer. Most definitely he cannot. The Word suggests, however, that he can strongly encourage ideas, doubts and thoughts into our minds.... Why does Satan have to use lies? Because he is a totally defeated foe... Lies are all Satan has. That's why he has to be so adept at using them." Breaking Free workbook by Beth Moore pg 192, 193

I'm sensing a theme here! Be vigilant (watch and pray) about what lines the walls of my mind. This is my "keep away" sign!

Application:
Some things that I can do to "drag every known sin, and temptation into the light" and be vigilant are...

• truth journalling, noting what is lining the walls of my mind and applying the truth of Scripture to each and every thought and taking it captive for Christ
  

• continued bible reading/prayer (especially early morning)~be saturated
  

• memorization (I still haven't applied this, but really want to)

• pre-plan for trials

• focus on conscious eating

Can you tell I'm a list-maker??? I'm the person who actually makes a rough copy and GOOD copy of my shopping lists!!!! I know I'm crazy! It's just the way I function best:-)


----------------------

Day 25~The Greatness of God

This lesson focuses on, of course, the greatness of God:-)

"Those who do not see the greatness of God become great in their own eyes." TLT workbook pg 81

I LOVE Isaiah 40. It is a wonderful description of God. Here are a few things I higlighted about Who God is as I read through this chapter...

• Shepherd (cares, leads, tends, nurtures)

• Creator

• All-knowing

• All-wise

• Big

• Great

• Nothing/No one can compare

• King (enthroned above all)

• Above all in authority

• No equal

• He lifts us up

• He gives us strength and hope

I am left wondering if I have a false view of God when I am being gluttonous. Two lies that came to mind were:
God doesn't care about just this one time.
Calling out to God in the midst of temptation doesn't work. He doesn't answer.

Both of those are lies which I will tackle in my next post.


----------------------

Day 26~Break the Chain

What an awesome lesson this was. It's amazing how God ties a whole bunch of teaching together to speak to me.

Day 14 of Thin Within is entitled "Choosing to Build on Truth." It emphasizes how beliefs lead to action which lead to results. Are my beliefs grounded in the Truth of God's Word?

Sounds a bit like what God has been unpacking for me in the Breaking Free study, doesn't it?! The walls of our minds are never bare. So, what lines the walls of my mind? Satan's lies or God's truth? I must examine what lines the walls of my mind (recognize the captor), stand in agreement with God, tear down the lies, put of the truth of God's Word, and thought must bow to the Truth.

And this sounds quite similar to what I've read about the concept of "truth journalling." I know Heidi has mentioned it a number of times in her blog. What I gather is that I am to write out my thoughts/feelings, discern whether it is a lie or a truth and then apply the truth of Scripture to each statement.

Today's TLT lesson is right in line with all these teachings.

You and I have had a problem with overeating. And if we examine times of failure we will always find a chain of events that lead up to the "crash." TLT workbook pg 83

Here's a destructive chain that was described in Genesis 13:8-13 and the points that Mike Cleveland notes...

1. Separate from fellowship
2. See something sinful and focus on it
3. Set out toward it
4. Pitch our tent near it and live in it
5. Taken captive by it

I am learning to notice when links in an accident chain are developing and to break at least one link to prevent an overeating accident. TLT workbook pg 84

I can relate this to the TW chapter 14 exercise...
Break the chain under the canopy of God's grace by lining up my beliefs with the truth of God's Word which leads to actions (obedience) which leads to results (holy living).

Relating this same teaching from TLT to the Breaking Free emphasis on asking the question of what lines the walls of our minds...
Break the chain by tearing down lies and replacing them with the truth of God's Word.

I can also relate this same teaching to the the concept of "truth journalling" by Barb Raveling.
Beliefs lead to feelings which lead to actions.
My understanding is the premise is to line up beliefs with truth.


Hmmm.... Do you sense a theme here??? God is definitely speaking pretty loud and clear it seems:-)

Onto my "assignment" from God! Tearing down the lies of Satan (breaking a link in the chain) and replace with the Truth of God's Word! This may take some time. I got a bit of a head start today (and will post that tomorrow!) but I can see it's going to be a lot of work! But I trust it will be well worth the effort!

Lord, please help me as I search Your Word for truth. Please guide me to Scripture that speaks to each and every one of Satan's lies that I have allowed to line the walls of my mind. Give me discernment and understanding. Help me see how GREAT You are! I pray that I would begin to have the mind of Christ and experience the freedom that You desire for each of Your children. In Jesus name, amen.

What lines the walls of my mind?

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Cor. 10:5

This verse is the central portion of scripture that is unpacked in week 9 of the Breaking Free study by Beth Moore. What an INCREDIBLE week of lessons this has been! I hardly know where to begin. But for now, I'll just unpack a few things that God has been unveiling to me in the past couple days.

"Give this next statement your full attention the walls of your mind will never stay bare. Never. Let's face it. Our minds work even when we sleep. Once we tear down lies, we have to re-wallpaper with truth or the enemy will happily supply a new roll of wallpaper. Different pattern maybe--a more updated look--but the same deceptive manufacturer." Breaking Free workbook by Beth Moore pg 195

The walls of my mind never stay bare.

That has been resonating in my mind.

"The question becomes, then, how do we re-wallpaper our minds with truth? First, be understanding the goal. What does God want to accomplish in our minds? We possess the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16), but we still have the full capacity to think with the mind of the flesh. We are MENTALLY BILINGUAL you might say. My older daughter is almost fluent in Spanish, but she still thinks mostly in English because she practices it more. The same concept is true of you and me. We will think with the mental language we practice most." Breaking Free workbook by Beth Moore pg 195

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. Romans 7:21-23

"We will not be free until we adopt the mind of Christ." Breaking Free workbook by Beth Moore pg 195

So, one question that has kept on turning over in my mind over and over again is "Which mental language am I practicing most?"

The truth began to become evident as I began to examine what lines the walls of my mind... I gotta tell you it felt like a HUGE surprise to me, when I got down to the nitty gritty, how many lies and deceptions of the devil I have allowed to line the walls of my mind. I feel led to share what I began to uncover... Welcome to the hidden corners, the secret places, of my mind...

When I'm willfully rebellious I am thinking...

1. I (SELF) am the most important. My desires are the most important. I want what I want when I want it...and I get what I want.
2. I've tried calling out to God in the midst of temptation before and it hasn't worked, so why bother?
3. It will make me feel so much better (to eat that ice cream etc)--more energy, more enjoyment etc.
4. Just get it done and over with. I can't resist. Why bother?
5. God doesn't care about this one time, does He? He'd forgive me anyways, right?
6. I sin. God forgives. I can count on that!

When I'm in auto pilot mode with overeating or am tempted to eat outside 0-5 I am thinking...

1. Quick, quick! Do it quickly before you have time to think or second guess. Don't even think about praying right now. Just eat it quick!
   
2. It tastes so good. More WILL satisfy me more.
3. I'm at the counter munching. This doesn't really "count."
4. I'm just "extending" my lunch/supper meal a little longer. What's the harm in that?

When I'm tired and am tempted to eat I'm thinking...

1. I need a quick pick-me-up.
2. I don't want to battle anything right now. I'm too tired. Just give me food.
   
3. Food will give me energy and give me the pick-me-up I need. Nothing else can fill that spot like food.
4. I'll deal with the guilt tomorrow. New start tomorrow.

When I'm tempted to overeat in social situations I'm thinking...

1. I don't want to insult the hostess by not eating anything (or not cleaning my plate).
2. Eat, eat, eat all the good food. This is your chance!
3. Others are eating more then me, so I am entitled to eat more.

When I'm tempted to taste test something despite not being hungry I'm thinking...

1. I gotta know how it tastes!
2. Everybody does it once in awhile!
3. Just a small bite which of course leads to...
4. Okay, since I started this cookie, I may as well eat the whole cookie. I've already fallen (slipped), why fight the urge?
5. How can I give this away if I don't know how it tastes?
6. It always tastes best when it is fresh. I don't want to miss out on that!

When sugary treats tempt me I'm thinking...

1. More of it will definitely satsify me more!
2. I can't go without something sweet in the day.
3. I NEED dessert after supper...and LOTS of it since I was "good" all day!
4. I can't resist. It feels magnetic.
5. I don't want to give this up to God. This is my special treat.
6. I want to eat this in moderation but I'm still not quite satisfied so I will eat more...
   

Out of whack shedules often get me feeling tempted and thinking...

1. Eat now. I don't want to be out (away from food) and hungry.
2. At my in-laws--this is THE mealtime. It's time to eat. Don't make a scene.
3. Hunger is somthing that MUST be fed immediately! So to be caught off guard with hunger is scary. Must meet the need IMMEDIATELY! NEED food NOW!

When I'm tempted to do some "tourist nibbling" I'm thinking...

1. Gotta eat as much of it as possible NOW because I won't get this opportunity again (or for quite awhile).
2. Taste buds are alive! My stomach feels full. Ignore the signals.
3. It's Christmas. This kind of food/baking only comes once a year!

I am in utter amazement at all the thoughts that line the walls of my mind in regards to eating. If I was to apply this exercise to other sins boy those walls are cluttered! Unbelievable! It is time to tear down the lies of Satan with the truth of God's Word. I don't want to be so mentally BILINGUAL! I truly desire to be thinking in only ONE language...with the MIND OF CHRIST. It's time to "starve the flesh and feed the spirit" (BF pg199).

Lord, help me line the walls of my mind with Your truth and may my thoughts be taken captive by You and bow down to You. I pray that You would begin to transform the walls of my mind and make me more like You each and every moment of each and every day. Please help me be victorious Lord. In Jesus name, amen.

I've been processing some of this already with truth statements and scriptures... I still have more work to do, more processing to do. I'll follow this post up later with what God reveals to me.

The Lord's Table~Day 18,19,20,21

Day 18~Setting Captives Free I

Slaves are not free people, but rather they have a master and must do his bidding. I remember how a food image would lodge in my brain, and I could try to pray it away, ignore it, or read the Bible, but it kept after me until I would eventually give in and obey the demands to indulge. Then I would feel bad and ask for God's forgiveness, but soon after I would be indulging again over a different food thought, over and over. This is slavery to sin. Have you had this type of "slavery" experience? TLT workbook pg 57

YES! YES! YES! I can completely relate to this description.

This lesson highlights the following verses...

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." They answered him, "We are Abraham's descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?" Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:31-36

It is the TRUTH, Jesus Christ, Who sets us free!

So this lesson asks the question: What are some lies you have believed in your overeating?

Lies...

• If I don't eat it now it will continue tempting me.

• Eating MORE of something will somehow be MORE satisfying.

• I'm tired and eating will bring enjoyment and relaxation.

Truth...

• Eating it NOW does temporarily remove the temptation... But too often another temptation is lying in wait! It doesn't solve the dilemma!
• Eating MORE of something definitely is NOT more satisfying. Rather it brings me a sore belly and feelings of shame and condemnation.
• Eating when I'm tired DOES bring me a degree of enjoyment and relaxation. But ultimately it also brings with it the baggage of guilt and condemnation as I know it is not the best choice at this time. God has many more provisions that I can enjoy and be refreshed by in those moments. Food is not the wisest choice.
  

I really appreciated this scripture as well...

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." Jeremiah 29:12-14

I need to keep calling on God, seeking Him, praying to Him WITH ALL MY HEART. He WILL answer. He WILL reveal truth. He WILL restore me.


-----------------

Day 19~Setting Captives Free II--From Prison to Praise

Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom
and broke away their chains.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men,
for he breaks down gates of bronze
and cuts through bars of iron. Psalm 107:13-16

The above passage shows that God responds to His people crying out to Him by:

• humbling their hearts
  

• saving them

• bringing them out of darkness
  

• breaking their chains

• breaking down gates of bronze and cutting bars of iron

I'm so weak. I get so mad at myself. It seems I start the day with such resolve (and prayer may I add) but then somehow this resolve just keeps weakening as the day goes by, especially the instant I'm hungry, the instant sugar is in front of me, the instant a thought/lust for eating enters my mind.

I keep calling and calling out to the Lord. I know lessons are being learned through this. It is not for nothing. I'm enslaved to my sinful lusts. I'm still trying to be the lord of my life in this area. I'm still doing things MY way. I'm in a prison right now. I need God to set me free. I need a true humble, contrite, repentant heart. I need to take each thought captive for Christ.

He WILL humble and save me. He WILL bring me out of this darkness. He WILL break the bands apart. He WILL shatter the gates of bronze and cut the bars of iron. I trust God CAN and WILL do this.


-----------------

Day 20~Setting Captives Free III

"Now you shall eat in this manner: with your loins girded, your sandals on your feet, and your staff in your hand; and you shall eat it in haste--it is the LORD'S Passover." Exodus 12:11

This verse highlights how the Israelites were to be ready for flight, ready to escape slavery. They were to be ready to move AWAY from Egypt.

So how do I "eat my way out of slavery?" Answer: Feed on the Word of God! The way that you and I today, "eat the Lamb," is to take Scripture and chew on it, and apply it to our lives... Freedom follows fullness... We can't "try" our hardest not to overeat and be successful; we will always fail. But we can "eat" our way out of slavery. TLT workbook pg65

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers. Psalm 1:2-3

What an awesome verse! I need to be hooked up to the true water source. Then I will yield fruit and prosper. This is all about walking with God moment by moment, capturing each and every thought for Christ, and saying "Get away satan, for it is written..."

God impressed the following thoughts on my heart this day...

Why do I leave this time, first thing in the morning, as the main time I feed on His word...yet I physically eat a breakfast, lunch and a supper and sometimes even a snack in between. I feel challenged to have a spiritual breakfast, lunch and supper, filling up on His word throughout the day to keep me going. Maybe my spiritual supper should be one of my biggest meals, just as it is physically for me. For the evening is the time I feel most tempted.

I've been trying to follow through with this the past two days and it has been wonderfully satisfying to fill up on God's word more frequently.

-----------------

Day 21~Focus

This lesson is all about fixing my eyes on Jesus. If I focus on the pull of the sin then I'm pulled under. I need focus on Christ. He will help me rise above.

Application for me would be...

• capturing each thought for Christ (surrendering each and every thought to Him)

• spiritual breakfast, lunch and supper

• constant prayer, spending time with God moment by moment

Over the past few days I have felt a little dragged down as I studied the TLT materials. It emphasizes the seriousness of sin and the need for repentance. TW, in contrast, emphasizes the grace of God in the face of our failures and sins and the need to observe and correct rather then beat ourselves up with the club of condemnation. I find TW is quite motivating in its approach. Yet I also know I have needed this TLT material to highlight the ugliness of my sin and to highlight my need for further surrender and turning to the Lord. So I continue to pray for a truly repentant heart. And I need to remember to focus on the TW tool of observation and correction as this has really helped me in the past. I've been completely bypassing that tool lately!

Belief, Action, Results

Lately, I have noticed that I have often been avoiding applying observation and correction to my eating outside 0-5. Maybe I'm a bit ashamed to really deal with the roots of greed. Maybe I'm just feeling rebellious and don't feel repentant. Maybe I'm getting lazy. Maybe I'm getting into the "greasy grace" trap. Probably each and every one of those reasons has been true at certain times.

As I was reading TW ch. 14 today I applied the exercises listed on p. 146 & 149 that delve into beliefs, actions & results. Here's what I noted:

False belief: Making exceptions to 0-5 eating is okay I rationalize. I want what I want when I want it!
Actions that follow: I eat outside 0-5.
Results: I feel guilty. I feel off-track and out of tune with my body. I will not reach my God-given natural size.


True belief: God satisfies my deepest needs. He will provide me with the power I need to get through these moments of temptation. As I WATCH (which I think is all about observing & correcting) and PRAY (approaching His throne of grace with confidence) I will not fall into temptation.

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak. Matthew 26:41

Actions that follow: I will stop, observe (confess), call out to God in prayer and correct (repent).
Results: I will experience God's grace & victory. I will eat within 0-5. I will feel healthy. I will feel FREE from the captivity of greed & gluttony! I will be encouraged by God's power and answer to my call. I will experience increased intimacy with God. My confidence and trust in God will increase which will help with future temptations.

A few verses were highlighted today in my devotions. I felt they were very applicable to this TW journey I'm on.

Therefore since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach th throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:14-16

Jesus understands what I'm going through as I struggle with sin. He can sympathize. He has gone down the same path....yet He was able to remain sinless! I find this very encouraging. And that last sentence is just awesome! I can approach God with CONFIDENCE! He will shower me with MERCY and GRACE right now, as I struggle with greed & gluttony & rebellion....and He will HELP me! Thank you Jesus!

Planning for Trials

Today I was reading TW chapter 8 and thought it would serve as a good reminder to me to do the planning for trials exercise again. I know I’ve covered some of this in previous posts, so it may not be of interest to you, but I know it is a good reminder to me as this is the nitty-gritty of TW for me, what sets me off 0-5 eating on a consistent basis.

A long time ago I talked with my daughters about dealing with temptation (at the time it was dealing with wanting to gossip about a kid in class). I mentioned how God provides us with an "exit" door (hence the graphics below!). Now my 6 yr old, whenever she is feeling very frustrated and can't get out of an emotional rut she is in, says "I can't find the exit!" Then we usually pray together and sure enough she finds the "exit" that God has provided....and we together we praise God for it.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out [also known as the EXIT in our household!] so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

So, now here I am thinking ahead to where the exit may be or how to get to the point where I choose to actually use the exit that God always faithfully provides.

I bake, I eat—taste test trap…and often the trap continues to lure me if it is a sugary treat. Often the temptation is to finish up the tempting food so it won’t be there to tempt me anymore.
First and foremost, I plan on really limiting the baking I do, keeping it more for special occasions. The next thing I plan on baking is going to be a banana bread loaf as I have some really ripe bananas right now. My goal will be to pre-slice the loaf and bag each piece, probably freeze the majority of the pieces (out of sight, out of mind does tend to be true for me generally). Thirdly, for those times that I am being tempted to eat outside of 0-5 with these tempting treats, I know it would be beneficial to move to another room, spend some time in prayer and bible reading (be still before God and really “practice His presence”). I’m just thinking right now another idea may be to find a really catchy encouraging God-focussed song and put it on every time I’m tempted. I kind of like that idea! I think I’ll try that one next time. Anyone have ideas for songs that may fit the bill? I’ll keep you updated on that idea!

I don’t want to wait for hunger. I want what I want NOW! The food is calling my name. I want to eat it ALL (past #5)! Etc…
This one is probably one of the hardest ones for me to deal with. These are the times when I have a voice in my head that says “you shouldn’t be eating it, you know you’re not hungry/or when you’re full” and then it’s like I just tell that voice (the Holy Spirit I’m guessing!) “be quiet, don’t think about it, it’s just this one time” etc. These are the times that I probably need to especially work on as this is a rebellious attitude that runs contrary to my godly goals.

So, what do I do??? First I think I’ll try that music idea again. We’ll see if that works, as I associate a certain song with acting as the escape route provided by God. Second, I should probably make sure these times I spend at least a couple minutes far away from the temptation in prayer/bible to get my focus back on God not on self. Third, get busy with something of interest—go for a walk, have a shower (even if it is at an odd time of day!), read story to the kids, run to the computer, play the piano, clean up the house, read a magazine… Many options are available if I just move away from the present weak moment.

It’s mealtime.
Breakfast and lunch are always pretty relaxed around our house, so no real stress over that meal. However, the supper meal is always tough for me. It is important to me to be hungry for this meal. I think it is good to eat well-rounded meals (as long as within 0-5 of course). It sends a good message to my kids to eat these healthy meals, conversing and eating…of course 0-5. So I do value being at #0 for supper. However, in the learning stages, I know that won’t always happen… If this is the case, my primary plan will be to sit down with the family and drink some water or some herbal tea and just visit. If this is too tough, I’ll do a little TW reading on the computer while the family eats…or start cleaning up the kitchen if it is a mess.

Social events.
The main thing is just to make sure I’m planning ahead to be hungry for the event. If I’m hungry then the only thing I need to focus on is really being conscious and present for the eating as well as focussing on the conversation and company around me. If I’m not hungry I think I could generally get by with just a non-caloric drink without offending anyone or anyone really thinking much of it.

Another huge one is when I’m tired and need a pick-me-up.
This is a really tough one as I wrote about the other day. As I wrote previously, hosting company sends me to after-dinner treats often. The key is to be really conscious and present for the eating and also enjoy the company. Also, not letting myself get too worn out with preparations is probably key too. There are lots of other times that I get tired though. I often just feel worn out and feel like eating for that extra energy boost. I think at times like this I should just lie down on the couch and close my eyes and be still before God. Drinking some water may also help. If it works to nap, I should definitely take that time to nap. I’ve been working on this area for quite some time, as this one became a very evident problem for me back when I first started TW. My husband actually was the one who brought up that I should take note of this weak time. So, I’ve been more vigilant with this particular area.

Anyone have any other ideas? I’m up for suggestions!