TW Summer Study - day 13

Day Thirteen ~ Wind Beneath My Wings

The last chapter dealt with furnishing my mind. This chapter continues digging a bit deeper into this concept. As I have good intentions to furnish my mind with only that which is pleasing to the Lord, I often continue slipping and sliding around... And the key is:

Observe and correcct the things that stand in the way of reaching your godly goals... If you find you are flesh-controlled, stop and ask God to fill all your empty places with Himself. TW pg136

God will provide a way out of temptation (2 Corinthians 10:13)... He promises an exit plan is available.

2 Corinthians 10:5, capturing every thought for Christ, becomes particularily compelling at this point. Each present moment counts. Practising His presence becomes all that more important as I will be more discerning of His good and perfect will when I am in step with Him.

I appreciated Heidi's marble jar video so much and thought it fit so well with this chapter...and I really want to keep this video on record for myself. It is an inspiring look at capturing each present moment.

I think I'm going to try the physical use of a marble jar or even a graph (color in a square for each victory step) for my travels.

Continuing on, this chapter also introduces the concept of a naturally thin person.

Think of a naturally thin person, someone who is not governed by rules or laws regarding food and eating. TW pg135

The person that comes to my mind is such an inspiration in this regard. I love how she doesn't care about calorie counting, fat grams, carbs etc. etc. She simply aims to eat a healthy well rounded diet in moderation. She eats slowly, enjoys and savours her food, puts her fork down and states she is "full" often way before me, and has a take it or leave it attitude towards dessert, depending on if she has room still for dessert. Even her dessert she eats in moderation. I cannot even IMAGINE her binging on food! That seems unfathomable for me! But I truly believe this is just not an area she struggles with. She has candy and chocolate lying out in full view all over her house. Her halloween candy stash lasts past a year and has to be thrown out! She actually FORGETS about the candy and chocolate and sweet treats on her counter! I cannot IMAGINE that either! I am thankful for this glimpse of freedom and balance. Will I ever be in that spot? Probably not to the degree she is...yet I pray I will move more and more in that direction.

So, once again, I am reminded to practice His presence. To be present. To capture the present moment. Because of His grace. Because of His love. Because of His compassion. By His enabling and empowering.

I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them. Hosea 11:4

Lord, I look up and open wide my mouth. Feed me. I love you. Amen.

TW Summer Study - day 12

Day Twelve ~ Furnishing the Halls of the Mind

Once again the title is grabbing my attention. "Furnishing" brings many images to mind. I'm NOT inclined towards interior decorating in the least! Though I do like to make sure our home is adequately furnished with comfortable furniture, dishes, pictures on the walls, plants etc.

Last chapter was about demolishing and removing the rubble. This chapter is about moving in, having a fresh start. What kinds of things am I going to allow to line the walls of my mind? What fills my every waking thought?

And when the term "practising the presence of God" was mentioned on pg 123 it came together and clicked for me. I am being reminded to once again take each and every moment in step with the Lord, present in His Presence.

This chapter introduced Larry the Legalist, Maureen the Manipulator and Abigail the Achiever. I think I have a tendency to be any one of those at any moment in time. Though I think I most relate to Larry as I often get sidetracked onto this path of legalism that makes me feel like I am in control...and then WHAM! I find out I am definitely NOT in control!!!! My fleshly desires and urges are VERY strong and alive and active and kicking just as described in Galatians 5:17!

For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. Galatians 5:17

I appreciated these words, paraphrased from various scripture verses:

"In Christ," I am inspired by His Spirit... "In Christ," I am equipped for whatever He calls me to do... "In Christ..." I am free, no longer a slave to sin. TW pg122

Inspired. Equipped. Free.

That is the path I want to be on. The path of God's provision under the canopy of His grace.

Today I have been focussing on practising His presence. I have been aiming to take every inclination and thought captive to Him, desiring to be "free to hear the voice of the Spirit leading and directing me." (TW pg123)

I have often spoken about this concept with others when explaining TW to them...but often forget to apply and ask the Lord "What should I eat for lunch today? What is pleasing in Your sight? When should I stop Lord?" I usually remember to have a grateful heart at mealtimes and use the opportunities to praise and thank Him for the food before me, though this is harder at family mealtimes... But to actually apply discernment to my eating choices according to His Spirit's leading is something I have not been practising very effectively or frequently.

Thank You Lord that You are able and willing to make all grace abound to Your children, so that in all things at all times, having all that we need, we will abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8)

Truth Journaling ~ Sugary Stuff

Here's something I truth journaled just yesterday evening. I think my version of "truth journaling" is blended with the "Thin Within" observation/correction model. Ultimately I'd say both approaches are aimed at taking every thought captive and making them obedient to the Lord and to be transformed by the renewing of the mind.

"...we take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

"...be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

Situation:
Sugar is like a web, sucking me into its' vice grip day after day. The situation that drove me to journal about it was my overindulgence in sweet treats after eating a good well balance dinner....starting with eating a large slice of oreo cheesecake...which led to eating some slivers of cheesecake as I put it away.....which led to eating some jelly beans....which led to eating some cinnamon toast crunch cereal. What a slippery slope I was on!!!!

#1. I think it's okay to have sugar in moderation each day.
True. But am I able to eat sugar in moderation? Or do I need to cut it loose for a season? Right now it is my master and I am its slave. Fasting from sugar may be an act of submission to the Lord that is needed right now. My body and life need to be a living sacrifice to the Lord. I cannot serve two masters. If I feel I can't live without it, this probably reflects that I need to be challenged to try!

"No one can serve to masters." Matthew 6:24 (though this is in direct reference to money, it still seems very applicable to food)

"Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship." Romans 2:1

#2. Sugary stuff is the only thing that sounds good to eat at this moment. This is certainly true. But pre-planning healthy options may help. Healthy stuff will likely sound more appealing if it is ready and available. A lot of my eating choices are based on how quick, accessible and visible the food is...particularily sugar.

#3. Sugary stuff is the only thing that hits the spot.
Not quite true. I'm in a rut where my tastebuds are wired to *crave* sugar. Many other things could hit the spot if I gave them a chance! I just need to get out of this cycle. And on top of everything, GOD should ultimately be the only ONE to "hit the spot"....certainly not food.

#4. I'm not past a #5 yet and really want some jelly beans (after the cheesecake...and extra slivers of cheesecake as I put it away).
That kind of attitude sets me on the slippery slope to defeat. Not only will I likely never feel that satisfied feeling that I'm looking for (rarely does it hit me when I'm eating sugar)...but I will likely also go past a #5 and eat till my tummy hurts and then to top it all off, I'll feel guilty because I stepped outside the boundaries I feel called to. Pushing my hunger #'s like this reflects the greed in my heart and the mastery of sugar and lack of submission to the Lord.

#5. That cinnamon toast crunch cereal looks so yummy. I want some. It can count as part of my supper meal, since I just ate an hour ago (after oreo cheesecake, extra slivers and jelly beans).
The cereal looked (and was) yummy. Unfortuantely I'm still continuing on the dangerous slippery slope. It led to MUCH extra eating. Boundaries are important and prudent in this situation. Once I push my chair away from the dinner table I need to learn to be done. No ifs ands or buts! Eating past that point is greedy (for me at this time) and once again food (usually sugar) is master. It is no longer beneficial for me.

"Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12

So, in response to this truth journaling and the strong awareness I have that I am allowing sugar to take a high place in my own life, I felt led to take simply one day where I abstained from desserts. I sometimes take a stronger stance and aim to not eat dessert for a week, a month etc... But this time it was just for one day.... And the battles I faced today were really quite unbelievable considering I was only aiming FOR ONE DAY!!!! Obviously I'm needing to take these fleshly thoughts and desires captive and make them obedient to Christ.

First, I was gravitating towards a cappacino/flavored coffee drink... But I knew that was a sugary treat and also knew that I need to avoid caffeine.

Secondly, Jon's birthday cheesecake was beckoning me AGAIN at dinner this evening! I left the table, cleaned up the dishes, sat and talked with Jon for awhile, cracked open the bible and read those verses from 1 Cor. 6:12 and then posted to my accountability group as follows....

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7:00pm
Oh, I don't feel like posting this right now....but this may very well be exactly what I need to do to choose to do the right thing. I had planned to avoid dessert for just one day (that is TODAY!)....and oh how that oreo cheesecake is calling my name. I've been toying with whether or not to eat a piece for the past half hour....and still don't know what I'm going to do. I know that all things are permissible but not all things are beneficial to me. All things are permissible but I should be mastered by nothing but God. I'm really struggling to do what I know in my heart is the right thing... I'll touch base with y'all later and let you know what I end up doing....

Lord, help me make the right choice right now. I am really struggling wtih what my flesh is desiring. Yet I know that you alone satisfy. Nothing else should master me. Nothing else should take the highest place in my heart and life. Help me be obedient and submissive to you in all things, particularily right now as I contemplate this dessert. Help me surrender to your will. Make your will very evident to me, I pray. Amen.

7:15pm
Okay, the tempation has passed! The battle is over! I can't believe it!!! Praise God! I just decided to have some watermelon and closed the book on even considering the cheesecake. Woohoo! Thank you Lord!!!!!!

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All I can say is PRAISE GOD for answered prayer! Praise God for renewing my mind.

I'm not sure what tomorrow holds, but I will keep seeking God.

Truth Journaling ~ Weight Gain

I have been working through "Freedom from Emotional Eating" by Barb Raveling. I have come to realize it is time for me to more frequently apply "truth journaling" as described in this book. I can see the parallels with the Thin Within concept of observation and correction. I think I'm going to try regularily posting some of my own truth journaling.

I'll start with a core situation/belief/emotion that I'm dealing with lately.

Situation:
As you will know, if you've been following my blog, is that I've struggled with gaining some of my weight back (8-10lbs to be specific), after releasing 24lbs.


#1. I'm not very attractive unless I'm in my BMI zone.
I'm always beautiful. The Bible says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) It also says that charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Prov. 31:30) Beauty is from the INSIDE.

#2. I'm never going to be able to make headway and experience lasting victory with regards to weight. Lack of belief that I will actually overcome.
God promised me (November 2007) that He is going to bring this good work that He started to COMPLETION. (Phil 1:6) Trust Him! I need to cling to God's word when I doubt I will actually overcome. The following two scriptures need to be clung to...

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Phil 4:13

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we
ask--we know that we have whatever we asked of him." 1 John 5:14-15

#3. I feel defeated.
The One who is in me is greater then the one who is in this world. (1 John 4:4) I am a LEARNER not a FAILURE! Each step back is simply a learning moment. Never consider a single defeat a final defeat (can't remember who that quote is from, but it sticks with me). I can't...but God you can.

#4. I feel humiliated.
Others are experiencing the same things as I am. I don't need to worry about how others view me. Keep my eyes fixed on God. Keep abiding with Him, clinging to Him.

#5. My self esteem feels low.
I really just need to dwell on Zeph. 3:17 as described in my previous post to remember how God views me. To be dwelling on self is a distraction that comes from the devil. My eyes need to be fixed on JESUS! When my value comes from Him, there is no room for these kinds of thoughts. He loves me. And He lives in me! What greater value can I have then to know that God, the GREATEST Treasure, lives in me, and that His power gets to be on display in my life!

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7

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I'm kind of new at this truth journaling, so this may not flow quite as smoothly as it will with time and practice. I can really see the value of doing this on a regular basis.

Okay, that's it for my blog bog today!!!!

Following in Daddy's Footsteps

"So I say, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature... Since you live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." Galatians 5:16 & 25

What does "living by the Spirit" and keeping in "step with the Spirit" look like? That's the big question I've been pondering. And an image is beginning to emerge.

Me, God's little girl, following Him through each step and moment of life.

So, where do these steps lead, I wonder?

I think they lead to dying to self. "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Mark 8:34

Oohh. That sounds scary, doesn't it?! Certainly sounds painful.

What comfort can I take in this path?

That Christ lives in me (Gal. 2:20). That God is greater than he that is in this world (1 Jn 4:4). That He is doing a good work in me and bringing it to completion (Phil 1:6). That these light and momentary troubles are preparing me for a glory that far outweighs them all (2 Cor. 4:17). That Daddy, Abba Father, CARES for me and LOVES me and heaps all the GRACE imaginable on me. He protects me, is my fortress, my refuge, my comfort, my sustainer, my peace, my joy, my strength... And the list could go on and on!

Down to the practicality of following in Daddy's footsteps. What does that look like in everyday life?

SURRENDER is the answer that came to mind. As I go about my daily life I choose to abide with Christ and be surrendered to Him and to the Holy Spirit's leading.

Do I eat when I'm not hungry? Do I eat past full? Or am I eating in moderation, not making an idol out of food (Col 3:5) and being content with my portion (Psalm 16:5-6)? Am I opening wide my mouth so that He can fill it, filling up on God Himself and His words(Psalm 81:10)?

REFLECTION: I have been more consistent with hunger/fullness this past week, praise God. But I still have seen the seeds of greed creep up (I must confess tonight was probably the toughest one over the past five days). And my weight has certainly NOT been reflecting a surrendered heart in this area. However I have been HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY for God's word and for memorizing scripture (this is very new to me and quite shocking actually...definitely a God-thing!).

Do I say those juicy words of gossip? Do I speak those cutting words that would feel so good in the moment but be so destructive in the long run? Do I speak mindlessly and thoughtlessly? Or is my conversation full of grace and seasoned with salt? (Col. 4:6) Am I saying words that are helpful for building others up? (Eph. 4:29)

REFLECTION: I have been very conscious of the times that I have slipped up in this area this week. I have had to run to the Lord for forgiveness quite a few times unfortunately. I've been very conscious of my speech with my kids and husband, being much more vigilant and alert to the enemy's attacks and temptations. As a result I've noticed I, through God's grace and power, have been able to be more patient and loving with my kids. I know this greatly benefits them in the long run.

Do I spend the extra money on myself and turn a blind eye to the poor and needy? Or do I sacrifice just a small bit of our luxury and indulgences to help someone in much more dire need then me (Isaiah 58:7, 10)?

REFLECTION: I don't feel good about my spending lately. I'm so behind on my budgetting updates. And I don't feel good about how much I contribute to those in need. On the flip side, we booked our tickets to Mexico for summer and will once again go, as a family, to help out at the orphanage and in their community. This gets me pretty excited! My heart's desire is that we can help those in need more and more and more and more and more...and focus on our own comforts and stuff less and less and less and less!!!

Do I spend my free time in front of the TV or computer and ignore filling up on Him and His word? Or am I filling up my mind and heart with His word, feasting on God Himself (Psalm 63)?

REFLECTION: This week has gone better in that department then a lot of other weeks. I've stayed away from the computer for the most part. Just spent a few minutes each day checking email and reading a couple blog posts. And I really didn't even watch TV. It was good to spend more time with the Lord as a result. He was my Satisfaction this week.

Choices... So many choices.

And thoughts... So many thoughts.

Each moment, of each day, I have thoughts which lead me to either continue following in Daddy's footsteps OR tempt me to take the fork in the road and gratify the desires of my sinful flesh.

Each thought must be taken captive and made obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). Every thought must line up with God's truth. I need to filter each thought, asking if this is "right" in God's eyes. The Holy Spirit will empower me not to gratify those desires as I allow Him to "filter" those thoughts.

As I surrender to His leading and prompting I continue following in Daddy's footsteps. What a beautiful picture for me to dwell on. I do SO trust my Daddy Abba Father and want to please Him. But oh how hard that can be! I'll close with one of my latest favorite verses, which has greatly encouraged me...

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8

Thank you Lord for not leaving me to just wave about on my own, trying to fill your big footsteps! Thank you for equipping me! Thank you for your Holy Spirit leading the way! And thank you for lovingly walking alongside me through this entire journey of life leading to eternity spent with You! What amazing grace and love! Amen.

Thoughts Captive to Christ

Here is a continuation or maybe even better yet, a completion, of what I had set out to do here and here.

I'll think for now I'll just tackle the main triggers for overeating (in TW terminology "fat/flesh machinery") that come to mind...

1. More is better.

This is a common thought I have as I shovel in more and more and more of my favorite foods. I'm particularily vulnerable when I'm tired or when I'm eating something very sugary and sweet. Does it satisfy me more?

God says I am to be content with my portion.

LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. Psalm 16:5-6

He meets my needs and has set pleasant boundaries in my life which lead to a delightful inheritance. I'm not sure that I'm interpretting these in the most theologically sound way! However, I appreciate these verses tremendously as I need to remember that 0-5 boundaries are pleasant! They are natural! They allow me to fix my eyes on Christ rather then on rules and regulation and FOOD! But I must be content with my portion! And the delightful inheritance is truly finding my greatest satisfaction in Christ and the icing on the cake is that I won't be carrying around excess weight if I'm truly content with my portion and the pleasant boundaries.


2. I can't resist!

When that homeade bread, cinnamon buns, chocolate bar, ice cream is staring me in the face...I often feel like I just can't resist! Yet God says provides a way out!

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful;
he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

3. It just taste SOOOO good, I want more!

I may taste very very delicious but God satisfies ever so much more!

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8

And the only thing that eating past satisfaction brings is shame and guilt and excess weight!


4. Just this one time!

This is my usual rationalizing at it's best (or worst!).

God says in the bible,

...sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." Genesis 4:7

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

...and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:27

That's just snapshot of some of the thoughts that try to gain entry into my mind with regards to the temptation to eat outside hunger and satisfaction. I continue to look into the mirror of God's Word for truth to hold up in the face of Satan's lies and temptations.

The Lord's Table~Day 49 to 54

It's hard to believe that I'm nearing the end of TLT study! It's been such an awesome journey! I highly recommend the workbook to anyone and everyone....though am not too comfortable advocating the eating/exercise expectations that they line up for the 60 days. Ultimately the goal of the book is for everyone to essentially be a 0-5 eater (in TW terminology), no longer being gluttonous and greedy for food, but rather just eating when hungry and stopping when satisfied. The strong point of this book is it's incredible studies that point the reader straight to filling up on God's Word. I really and truly didn't expect to learn and grow the way I have! So, PRAISE GOD!

So here's my latest summary of my readings.


Day 49~How To Feast at the Lord's Table

This lesson had such a great overview of George Mueller's approach to reading God's word and prayer. Mr. Mueller used to start his mornings in prayer, but then he began to change his approach. Here's a snapshot glance of what Mr. Mueller was writing about:

The first thing I did, after having asked in a few words the Lord's blessing upon His precious Word, was to begin to meditate on the Word of God; searching, as it were, into every verse, to get blessing out of it; not for the sake of the public ministry of the Word; not for the sake of preaching on what I had meditated upon; but for the sake of obtaining food for my own soul. The result I have found to be almost invariably this, that after a very few minutes my soul has been led to confession, or to thanksgiving, or to intercession, or to supplication; so that though I did not, as it were, give myself to prayer, but to meditation, yet it turned almost immediately more or less into prayer... It is plain to me as anything, that the first thing the child of God has to do morning by morning is to obtain food for his inner man. TLT workbook pg 157-158

I thought this was such an interesting perspective. As we read, confession, intercession, thanksgiving and supplication all flow naturally as led by the Lord's word. We are drawn into prayer in the process of reading. I appreciated this perspective.

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Day 50~Be a Doer of the Word

I think I summed up this lesson and my response to it here.


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Day 51~Gluttony and Laziness

Do not be with heavy drinkers of wine, or with gluttonous eaters of meat; for the heavy drinker and the glutton will come to poverty, and drowsiness will clothe one with rags. Prov. 23: 20, 21

I definitely don't struggle with drinking as I don't even drink alcohol. I really don't like the stuff.

Yet I definitely have my ups and downs in struggling with gluttony and laziness. I'm beginning to experience more victory with regards to gluttony. Laziness (lack of exercise) feels like a challenge for me right now. I need to get moving. I still haven't gotten consistent with that. In all honesty it takes some motivation to get moving with the kind of temperatures we have here during the winter! I'm looking forward to spring and jogging again:-) In the meantime I do find skipping rope a reasonable exercise routine for me in the winter months in particular.

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Day 52~Take Every Thought Captive

Of course this is based on 2 Corinthians 10:3-6

This whole concept has been BIG for me over the past couple months as I contemplated what lined the walls of my mind. I'd say TW was my introduction to really and truly examining my thoughts and beliefs more closely and getting into the practice and discipline of lining up with God's Word. Breaking Free touched on that further. And then this TLT study has further pushed me to use the Bible as my foundation for life.

If I fail to take every thought captive for Christ, *I* would be the one in bondage! But God wants it to be the other way around-the lies of Satan are to bound and taken captive and God's truth replace the lies! How awesome!

Here was a fantastic illustration from Max Lucado that I can't skip posting because it really is very good. It's lengthy, but a very worthwhile read!

...Your heart is a fertile greenhouse ready to produce good fruit. Your mind is the doorway to your heart-the strategic place where you determine which seeds are sown and which seeds are discarded. The Holy Spirit is ready to help you manage and filter the thoughts that try to enter. He can help you guard your heart. He stands with you ont he threshold. A thought approaches, a questionable thought. Do you throw open the door and let it enter? Of course not. You "fight to capture every thought until it acknowledges the authority of Christ" (2 Cor. 10:5 Phillips Translation). You don't leave the door unguarded. You stand equipped with handcuffs and leg irons, ready to capture any thought not fit to enter. For the sake of dicussion, let's say a thought regarding your personal value approaches. With all the cockiness of a neighbourhood bully, the thought swaggers up to the door and says, "You're a loser. All your life you've been a loser. You've blown relationships and jobs and ambitions. you might as well write the word bum on your resume, for that
is what you are."

The ordinary person would throw open the door and let the thought in. Like a seed from a weed, it would find fertile soil and take root and bear thorns of inferiority. The average person would say, "You're right, I'm a bum. Come on in." But as a Christian, you aern't your verage person. You are led by the Spirit. So, rather than let the thought in, you take it captive. You handcuff it and march it down the street to the courthouse where you present the thought before the judgement seat of
Christ.

"'Jesus," this thoughts say, 'I'm a bum and a loser and I'll never amount to anything.' What do you think?" See what you are doing? You are submitting the thought to the authority of Jesus. If Jesus agrees with the thought, then let it in. If not, kick it out. In this case Jesus diagrees.

How do you know if Jesus agrees or disagrees? You open your Bible. What does God think about you? Eph. 2:10 is a good place to check: "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (NIV). Or how about Romans 8:1: "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"? Obviously any thought that says you are inferior or insignificant does not pass the test-and does not gain entrance. you have the right to give the bully a firm kick in the pants and watch him run.

Let's take another example. The first thought was a bully; this next thougth is a groupie. She comes not to tell you how bad you are, but how good you are. She rushes to the doorway and gushes, "You are so good. You are so wonderful. The world is so lucky to have you," and on and on the groupie grovels.

Typically this is the type of thought you'd welcome. But you don't do things the typical way. You guard your heart. You walk in the Spirit. And you take every thought captive. So once again you go to Jesus. You submit this thought to the authority of Christ. As you unsheathe the sword of the Spirit, his Word, you learn that pride doesn't please God.

"Don't cherish exaggerated ideas of yourself or your importance" (romans 12:3 Phillips). "The cross of our Lord Jesus Christ is my only reason for bragging" (Gal. 6:14). As much as you'd like to welceom this thought of conceit into the greenhouse, you can't. You only allow what Christ allows.

One more example. This time the thought is not one of criticsm or flattery but one of temptation. If you're a fellow the thought is dressed in flashy red. If you're a female, the thought is the hunk you've always wanted. There is the brush of the hand, the fragrance in teh air, and invitation. "Come on, it's all right. We're consenting
adults."

What do you do? Wel, if you aren't under the authority of Christ, you throw open the door. But if you have the mind of Christ, you step back and say, "Not so fast. You'll have to get permission from big brother." So you take this teamy act before Jesus and ask, "Yes or no?" nowhere does he answer more clearly than in 1 Cor. 6 and 7: "we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids committment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than every... Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly--but only within a certain context. It's good for a man to have a wife, and for
a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them" (6:18; 7:1-2, MSG). Now armed with opinion of Christ and the sword of the Spirit, what do you do? Well, if the tempter is not your spouse, close the door. If the invitation is from your spouse then HUBBA, HUBBA, HUBBA.

The point is this. Guard the doorway of your heart. Submit your thoughts to the authority of Christ. The more selective you are about seeds, the more delighted you will be with the crop. Max Lucado "Just Like Jesus" as quoted in TLT workbook pg 168-169

Isn't that an amazing illustration?! I thought it was a great way of looking at taking each thought captive and making obedient to Christ.

I should finish my homework that I assigned myself way back here... I think I'll put together a whole new post for this.

The next amazing poing that Mike Cleveland pulls out is:

So we reject sinful thoughts, but here is the next step; we must also embrace good and godly thoughts. It's not enough to reject sinful thoughts, we must go on to fill our minds with good things. Notice this passage: "Finally bretheren, whatever i true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things" (Philippians 4:8). TLT workbook pg 169

So, my battle plan for actively thinking on Christ and the things that are good, right, noble and pure is: wake up with God as my alarm clock and spend time in His word and in prayer, read, pray, fellowship, play the piano and sing praise and worship to my Lord, memorize scripture... Those are a few things that came to mind.

So, here's a summary of what this lesson laid out...

1. Take our thoughts captive to Christ.
2. Meditate on what is good and right.
3. Practise these things.

That last step is key. I need to apply and look into the mirror of God's word and not just ignore it, but actually be a doer of His word. I must BE living God's truth and DO His will.


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Day 53~Change Comes Through Seeing Jesus

Basically I must fix my eyes on Jesus. Don't let anything hinder me from doing this. God reveals Himself to me through the Bible, prayer, fellowship, music, books and His creation.

Looking to Jesus has filled me with things that are excellent and praiseworthy. Looking to Jesus has freed me to see who I truly am~sinful and powerless in my flesh. Looking to Jesus has allowed me to humbly depend on Him and His power, to be transformed into His image each day. Looking to Jesus has been realizing that CHRIST LIVES IN ME! That's powerful! I may be a weak and powerless clay vessel, but I have the Greatest Treasure that dwells inside me~Christ Jesus!! That's powerful! Looking to Jesus has equipped, inspired and empowered me. Looking to Jesus has taken my focus off self and deepened my love for God.

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Day 54~Psalm 23 and The Lord's Table

This lesson unpacked this psalm so beautifully. One quote that I really appreciated was, "We are not valley dwellers, but valley walkers." (Karen Wilkinson, TLT workbook pg 176)

I don't think I could ever do justice to this lesson in a snapshot! I just know there is so much meat in this one short passage that I could dwell on for a long time and keep learning from!

Auto-Pilot Mode lined up with God's Truth

Another thought that lines the walls of my mind is...

When I'm in auto pilot mode with overeating or am tempted to eat outside 0-5 I am thinking...


1.) Quick, quick! Do it quickly before you have time to think or second guess. Don't even think about praying right now. Just eat it quick!

Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Prov. 6:27

You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. Psalm 90:8

For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them. Matthew 13:15

but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. James 1:14-15

Shoving that food into my mouth as quick as I can is like scooping fire into my lap! I'll be burnt! I may be able to keep my overeating a secret from my friends and family...but not from God. No matter how quickly I shove food into my mouth He is always All-Knowing (and as I noted before, my sin grieves Him). May my heart not become calloused and closed. I desire God's healing touch. And once again by allowing my evil desire (thoughts/lies planted in my mind by Satan) to drag me away and entice me (it truly only takes a few split seconds!) I need to remember that this evil desire gives birth to sin. And once again I'm giving the devil a foothold by allowing my sinful desires to give birth to sin.



2.) It tastes so good. More WILL satisfy me more.

If you find honey, eat just enough—too much of it, and you will vomit. Proverbs 25:16

I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. Psalm 81:10

Taste and see that the LORD is good; Psalm 34:8

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. Psalm 63:5

When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart's delight, for I bear your name, O LORD God Almighty. Jeremiah 15:16

That first verse about honey is great! What a practical wise word! I mean I haven't actually ever vomitted from overeating... However, the whole point of that verse is that we need to adhere to moderation in our eating! Overeating doesn't make my body feel good! That's pretty straight forward! I need to get that through my head...to my taste-buds and down to my stomach! God has so much more in store for me then some extra brownies or a massive bowl of ice cream!!! I've been gathering that from the various studies I've been working through over the past year, in particular The Lord's Table. I'm to feast at His table, on HIM!

3.) I'm at the counter munching. This doesn't really "count."
and

4.) I'm just "extending" my lunch/supper meal a little longer. What's the harm in that?

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control. Proverbs 25:28

With lack of self-control and vigilance (stopping when I'm satisfied and practicing moderation) my overeating actually allows the enemy an opening in the wall, similar idea as the foothold imagery.

One verse that was hitting me last night as I was reading in Ephesians was:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

I can't "work" my way out of gluttony...no matter how many LISTS I create!!! (boy do I ever have a lot of those!) It is God's grace that saves me. I need to remember this as I become more "introspective" and examine the walls of my mind. There is no magic formula in recognizing the lies or even coming up with truth statements. What is important is that GOD cleanses, heals, restores, saves and transforms me from the inside out BY THE GIFT OF HIS GRACE! It is so freeing and encouraging to know that it is God's grace that is the KEY!

Thank you Lord for your grace and continued healing. Amen.

What lines the walls of my mind?

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Cor. 10:5

This verse is the central portion of scripture that is unpacked in week 9 of the Breaking Free study by Beth Moore. What an INCREDIBLE week of lessons this has been! I hardly know where to begin. But for now, I'll just unpack a few things that God has been unveiling to me in the past couple days.

"Give this next statement your full attention the walls of your mind will never stay bare. Never. Let's face it. Our minds work even when we sleep. Once we tear down lies, we have to re-wallpaper with truth or the enemy will happily supply a new roll of wallpaper. Different pattern maybe--a more updated look--but the same deceptive manufacturer." Breaking Free workbook by Beth Moore pg 195

The walls of my mind never stay bare.

That has been resonating in my mind.

"The question becomes, then, how do we re-wallpaper our minds with truth? First, be understanding the goal. What does God want to accomplish in our minds? We possess the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16), but we still have the full capacity to think with the mind of the flesh. We are MENTALLY BILINGUAL you might say. My older daughter is almost fluent in Spanish, but she still thinks mostly in English because she practices it more. The same concept is true of you and me. We will think with the mental language we practice most." Breaking Free workbook by Beth Moore pg 195

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. Romans 7:21-23

"We will not be free until we adopt the mind of Christ." Breaking Free workbook by Beth Moore pg 195

So, one question that has kept on turning over in my mind over and over again is "Which mental language am I practicing most?"

The truth began to become evident as I began to examine what lines the walls of my mind... I gotta tell you it felt like a HUGE surprise to me, when I got down to the nitty gritty, how many lies and deceptions of the devil I have allowed to line the walls of my mind. I feel led to share what I began to uncover... Welcome to the hidden corners, the secret places, of my mind...

When I'm willfully rebellious I am thinking...

1. I (SELF) am the most important. My desires are the most important. I want what I want when I want it...and I get what I want.
2. I've tried calling out to God in the midst of temptation before and it hasn't worked, so why bother?
3. It will make me feel so much better (to eat that ice cream etc)--more energy, more enjoyment etc.
4. Just get it done and over with. I can't resist. Why bother?
5. God doesn't care about this one time, does He? He'd forgive me anyways, right?
6. I sin. God forgives. I can count on that!

When I'm in auto pilot mode with overeating or am tempted to eat outside 0-5 I am thinking...

1. Quick, quick! Do it quickly before you have time to think or second guess. Don't even think about praying right now. Just eat it quick!
   
2. It tastes so good. More WILL satisfy me more.
3. I'm at the counter munching. This doesn't really "count."
4. I'm just "extending" my lunch/supper meal a little longer. What's the harm in that?

When I'm tired and am tempted to eat I'm thinking...

1. I need a quick pick-me-up.
2. I don't want to battle anything right now. I'm too tired. Just give me food.
   
3. Food will give me energy and give me the pick-me-up I need. Nothing else can fill that spot like food.
4. I'll deal with the guilt tomorrow. New start tomorrow.

When I'm tempted to overeat in social situations I'm thinking...

1. I don't want to insult the hostess by not eating anything (or not cleaning my plate).
2. Eat, eat, eat all the good food. This is your chance!
3. Others are eating more then me, so I am entitled to eat more.

When I'm tempted to taste test something despite not being hungry I'm thinking...

1. I gotta know how it tastes!
2. Everybody does it once in awhile!
3. Just a small bite which of course leads to...
4. Okay, since I started this cookie, I may as well eat the whole cookie. I've already fallen (slipped), why fight the urge?
5. How can I give this away if I don't know how it tastes?
6. It always tastes best when it is fresh. I don't want to miss out on that!

When sugary treats tempt me I'm thinking...

1. More of it will definitely satsify me more!
2. I can't go without something sweet in the day.
3. I NEED dessert after supper...and LOTS of it since I was "good" all day!
4. I can't resist. It feels magnetic.
5. I don't want to give this up to God. This is my special treat.
6. I want to eat this in moderation but I'm still not quite satisfied so I will eat more...
   

Out of whack shedules often get me feeling tempted and thinking...

1. Eat now. I don't want to be out (away from food) and hungry.
2. At my in-laws--this is THE mealtime. It's time to eat. Don't make a scene.
3. Hunger is somthing that MUST be fed immediately! So to be caught off guard with hunger is scary. Must meet the need IMMEDIATELY! NEED food NOW!

When I'm tempted to do some "tourist nibbling" I'm thinking...

1. Gotta eat as much of it as possible NOW because I won't get this opportunity again (or for quite awhile).
2. Taste buds are alive! My stomach feels full. Ignore the signals.
3. It's Christmas. This kind of food/baking only comes once a year!

I am in utter amazement at all the thoughts that line the walls of my mind in regards to eating. If I was to apply this exercise to other sins boy those walls are cluttered! Unbelievable! It is time to tear down the lies of Satan with the truth of God's Word. I don't want to be so mentally BILINGUAL! I truly desire to be thinking in only ONE language...with the MIND OF CHRIST. It's time to "starve the flesh and feed the spirit" (BF pg199).

Lord, help me line the walls of my mind with Your truth and may my thoughts be taken captive by You and bow down to You. I pray that You would begin to transform the walls of my mind and make me more like You each and every moment of each and every day. Please help me be victorious Lord. In Jesus name, amen.

I've been processing some of this already with truth statements and scriptures... I still have more work to do, more processing to do. I'll follow this post up later with what God reveals to me.

The Lord's Table~Day 22, 23

Day 22~Ongoing Freedom

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2

This is my prayer...
Lord, my body and mind and soul is yours. You created me. You are my Lord and Master. I want YOU to have every part of me. I don't want to hold ANYTHING back from you. I surrender to You. Amen.

This lesson moves onto "renewing your mind" by the grace of God. Basically, in TW terminology, a lot of it comes down to the tool of "planning for trials." The author, Mike Cleveland, describes how he wakes up in the morning and spends time with the Lord, presenting his body to the Lord as a living sacrifice, reading and meditating on scripture, looking for Christ and specific ways he can apply what he is studying. (TLT workbook pg 72)

This whole lesson lined up perfectly, and on the same day as (!), my Betho Moore "Breaking Free" lesson on taking captive every thought for Christ! Coincidence???? I think NOT!!! I find it very neat how God works:-)

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought TO MAKE IT OBEDIENT TO CHRIST." 2 Corinthians 10:5

Here is a quote in regards to "making it obedient to Christ" from the Breaking Free study that resonated with me...

God wants us to be victors. We don't become victors by conquering the enemy. We become victors through surrender to Christ. We don't become victors by our independence from the enemy. We become victors by our dependence on God. Victorious lives flow from victorious thoughts. Thinking victorious thoughts comes from setting our focus on a victorious God.... Remember, this war is for freedom and the battlefield is the mind...

'Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.' Joshua 3:5

The wonders God wants to do in all our tomorrows are prepared for in our todays.
Beth Moore's Breaking Free study workbook pg 187

Thank you Lord that you have amazing things planned. Please renew my mind. Demolish the lies of Satan. Make Your truth very evident to me. I desire to fully surrender to you and be dependent upon you. Thank you for being the Victorious One! Thank you for Your patience and mercy and faithfulness. Thank you for keeping your promises. Thank you for the promise that You have amazing things planned. In Jesus name, amen.


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Day 23~Exclusive Drinking

In a nutshell this lesson is all about reading and APPLYING God's word, taking it to heart, becoming a "doer" of God's word and finding satisfaction in Him alone. Scripture continues to pop up with the water and fruit imagery. It sure is encouraging to know that God offers the most satisfying food and drink which leads to the fruits of the Spirit flourishing in the Believer's life.

Thanks God:-)

Taking Captive Every Thought for Christ

The day started off with a feeling of hope for the day ahead. I am thankful that God has brought many supportive TW journey companions into my life. What a blessing they are! I cracked open the TW book and read chapter 13 and was impacted by the reading....

And then...

Thing came crashing down!

First of all I will recount what my reading in TW was about and what hit me.

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but
what I hate I do. Romans 7:15

William Well-Meaning identifies with this battle. He wakes up, ready
to start his day with his Bible, his TW book, and his journal. He prays, studies, reads, and after a wonderful time of fellowship and communion with the Lord, he heads off to work, having promised the Lord that today will be different. Today he will give his body to God and live for Him. Today he will eat 0 to 5, being fully convinced that this will honor the Lord. Then what? William Well-Meaning, before he knows it, finds himself snacking on one thing or another, ultimately realizing that he is walking in the flesh. The very thing he hates is what he finds himself doing. TW pg 132

The book moves on to outline the two different paths we often travel: the path of God's provision and the path of my performance. The above mentioned character, William Well-Meaning was travelling on the path of his performance, despite his good start to the day! My name could definitely replace William Well-Meaning's!

The point of the chapter is to walk moment by moment with God, observing and correcting, looking to God for that way out of temptation that He promises to provide (1 Cor. 10:13), taking every thought and making it obedient to Christ.

I love this paragraph:

God will not fail to keep His promise to provide you with a way out of
temptaion. He will continue to help you no matter how many times you cry out, 'Lord, I am sorry. I did it again.' No matter how
often you find yourself on your face before Him, He will always, always, always offer His hand, lift you up, embrace you, brush away your tears, cleanse you and give you a clean robe of righteousness. TW pg 134-135

After my early morning TW read I walked away with the following scripture resonating with me and challenging me...

...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

I thought, "I'm going to aim to take captive every thought for Christ today!" Do I sound like good old William here! I'm not sure I even prayed about it to tell you the truth!

Then the "test" came! My 6 year old daughter (who fits every characteristic of the "real" princess from the "princess and the pea" fairytale when it comes to clothing) was NOT ready in time for school.

Backing up a few years... Ever since she was a toddler she has been quite "picky" about everything she wears. Socks, underwear, pants, shirts, jackets, sweaters, hats, mitts, shoes, boots....you name the clothing item, she will CERTAINLY have had a problem with it! We have dealt with the problem over the years one step at at time, trying to help her move past these "princess" qualities:-) But we're back in a tight spot again, particularily with regard to pants...

So, this morning she was having trouble finding pants to wear, but didn't let me know. I was pretty sure she was all dressed and good to go. (In hindsight I should really have done a bit more investigating since her bedroom door was closed...my knock asking if everything was alright wasn't sufficient.) Anyways, she ended up NOT being ready & couldn't find clothes that felt comfortable.

And did I take that very moment captive for Christ???????

Did I even think about that verse that I had just read one hour before?????

NO!!!! How sad is that!

So, we proceeded to have a very heated exchange... I became "monster mommy" or in her words I was "mean" to her. I let my frustration just boil right over and spew out of my mouth.

Okay, now for the good stuff....which hit me on my morning walk/jog this morning (yes i actually got out to exercise after a month hiatus from exercise!).

I obviously and clearly did NOT take that above mentioned moment captive for Christ as I blew up and did not exhibit gentleness, love, self-control and patience to my daughter.

BUT the good news, that God drew to my attention this morning, is that I DID take the next moment captive for Him. The whole situation didn't become a waste, a complete failure...

I moved on to ask for forgiveness from my daughter. She said sorry to me for things I didn't even realize she had done in those heated moments. She actually said sorry for yelling at me...something I hadn't even pinpointed as one of the errors of the situation. We hugged. I said how much I loved her etc. etc. All that sweet mommy stuff. And then the best part is that we prayed together. We both asked God for forgiveness for our parts in things, very specific things as well. It was a beautiful moment that I know was God-glorifying. I could tell things were restored and made new and actually will be better then before. Thanks, Lord!

So the lesson I have learned from this situation, which had nothing to do with eating as you tell, is that maybe in one moment of a situation we may not have taken our thoughts captive for Christ....but we can always choose to observe, correct and take captive the NEXT moment's thoughts and actions and make them obedient to Christ as we lean on Him and look to Him. We just need to call out to Him and step onto the path of His provision. There is an EXIT in every situation, back onto the path of His provision.

New Creation

Well, the last few days have been going well. I am feeling amazingly free with the goal of staying away from the scale. I think I just *may* be ready this time! I think I feel ready to be weaned and focussing on the 0-5 scale instead. Praise God!

The last few days I have been thinking that I need to take each moment at a time and focus on victory in the PRESENT moment. I wanted to take three days with no excuses, no rationalizing when wanting to eat outside 0-5. I was going to say I did two days 0-5 eating already....but actually looking at my private food log I see that it actually was only Tuesday that was 100% and today has been good....each moment I choose to be obedient to God certainly DOES feel like a big deal!! So, I will continue with the three days plan for today and tomorrow. I want to take these tempting moments as opportunities that I *really* do go before the Lord...as far too often I bypass fighting the temptation and I do things in my own flesh.

These verses really spoke to me on Sunday in my devotions...

"Lord God, in my inner being I delight in Your law, but I see another
law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. How wretched am I?! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 7:22-25

I can totally relate to these verses! I often feel like a prisoner to my fleshly desires--greed and gluttony, lack of self control, strong emotions, a loose tongue and more... Oh Lord, how wretched am I!!!! Thank you for providing a way out of this mess through Jesus Christ!

Then Monday morning as I was jogging (boy do I ever have some good times with God in those moments:-)...the following verses began to hit me...

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ
lives in me." Galations 2:20

Wow, I really AM a new creation! Why do I doubt this and live like I'm the "old" creation?! Satan keeps on dragging me down with temptation and with discouragement... But I'm not that "old" person anymore...the "old" has been crucified and Christ lives in ME and I've been made NEW! Praise God for these miracles!

Then I read this thread on the thinwithin forums and was greatly encouraged and challenged... I found it encouraging reading how others deal with temptation head on. It's time for me to really and truly do the same as I am a NEW creation! I desire to glorify God in all I eat, drink, think, say and do. I'll end with some these inspiring words...

"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we TAKE CAPTIVE EVERY THOUGHT to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

Belief, Action, Results

Lately, I have noticed that I have often been avoiding applying observation and correction to my eating outside 0-5. Maybe I'm a bit ashamed to really deal with the roots of greed. Maybe I'm just feeling rebellious and don't feel repentant. Maybe I'm getting lazy. Maybe I'm getting into the "greasy grace" trap. Probably each and every one of those reasons has been true at certain times.

As I was reading TW ch. 14 today I applied the exercises listed on p. 146 & 149 that delve into beliefs, actions & results. Here's what I noted:

False belief: Making exceptions to 0-5 eating is okay I rationalize. I want what I want when I want it!
Actions that follow: I eat outside 0-5.
Results: I feel guilty. I feel off-track and out of tune with my body. I will not reach my God-given natural size.


True belief: God satisfies my deepest needs. He will provide me with the power I need to get through these moments of temptation. As I WATCH (which I think is all about observing & correcting) and PRAY (approaching His throne of grace with confidence) I will not fall into temptation.

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak. Matthew 26:41

Actions that follow: I will stop, observe (confess), call out to God in prayer and correct (repent).
Results: I will experience God's grace & victory. I will eat within 0-5. I will feel healthy. I will feel FREE from the captivity of greed & gluttony! I will be encouraged by God's power and answer to my call. I will experience increased intimacy with God. My confidence and trust in God will increase which will help with future temptations.

A few verses were highlighted today in my devotions. I felt they were very applicable to this TW journey I'm on.

Therefore since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach th throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:14-16

Jesus understands what I'm going through as I struggle with sin. He can sympathize. He has gone down the same path....yet He was able to remain sinless! I find this very encouraging. And that last sentence is just awesome! I can approach God with CONFIDENCE! He will shower me with MERCY and GRACE right now, as I struggle with greed & gluttony & rebellion....and He will HELP me! Thank you Jesus!

I can't...But God, You can

I just wanted to highlight a few quotes from TW chapter 11 that stood out to me in my reading this morning...

As we begin to take captive all of our thoughts that are contrary to
Christ's and replace them with the truth of God's Word, we will want to give Him our bodies and our lives... Not only are you a temple, a sanctuary in which God has chosen to dwell, but you are set apart by Him and for Him. TW p. 111

True Freedom:

As we surrender ourselves to Him we experience the joy and abundance of a life lived on the edge of adventure. We won't know what comes next, but His provision supplies and equips us for everything to which He calls us. He empowers us to run the race with endurance. We can live in peace, knowing that our lives belong to God, that we are His responsibility. This is true freedom. TW p. 112

This was a great reminder!

Our Lord has purchased your PARDON.
Our Lord has purchased your PROVISION.
Our Lord's PRESENCE is always at your side.
Our Lord's POWER is available to you in any moment. TW p. 114

And this quote really struck me as worth pondering... I love the last sentence.

Bible teacher and author, Kay Arthur, says "Don't struggle in self-effort to be better. Don't determine that you are going to 'try harder.'
Acknowledge your need of His all-sufficient grace and go forward, surrendering and trusting in the power of God's transforming grace. 'As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him' (Col. 2:6). You were saved by faith; therefore, you are to walk in faith. It may be one step at a time, but walk. You can say, 'I can't,' as long as in the next breath you say, 'But God, You can.'" TW p. 114

Thin Again - ch 7

Chapter 7
The Present Not the Past

As I read this chapter I found it interesting how a few verses that had been standing out to me recently were highlighted in this chapter. One of the verses was Matthew 18:21-22 which I had highlighted in my counting my blessings blog.

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'"

Another one was Mark 11:25.

"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

And lastly the one that has been on my mind and heart often is 2 Corinthians 10:5.

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

I feel God is talking to me about forgiveness a lot lately! I have been reading another book called "The Power of a Postive Wife" by Karol Ladd and once again teaching on forgiveness was taught.....on a particular day when I was having trouble forgiving Jon! Go figure! I'm thankful that God showed me my sin because our marriage relationship was needing a good dose of forgiveness and right relationship was restored as a result:-) Thank you, Lord!

I have felt convicted of the many times my thoughts are dark and mucky and sinful. Oh how I need to take captive every thought for Christ. The problem is that once the thought enters my mind it often gets spoken out loud and another sin gets committed as I gossip/slander or simply am not shining for Christ by letting my conversation always be filled with grace (Col. 4:6). So, I'm working on this one... I have to be on guard and prayerful against that little seed of negativity that creeps into my thoughts.

TA chapter 7 was a pretty heavy duty one! For many people this must be a very tough read. As I read some of the stories of individuals who walked through such deep waters my heart just ached and tears came to my eyes. I pray for each person who has to go through this pain. Here goes a quick summary of the pretty weight things things touched on in TA chapter 7.

What are the stages of the grieving process?
1.) Denial—“denied reality of our painful past” TA pg 118
2.) Anger—“While it is legitimate and necessary to experience the anger in the present, the goal is not revenge or abuse of self or another. The goal is to sweep your house clean, to purify your heart so that new life can dwell within you.” TA pg 119
3.) Bargaining
4.) Depression—“During this stage you may experience the full measure of the loss of food as a friend… As you feel permission to grieve this loss, you may be assured that this is a sign of health, a sign that you are releasing something you have coveted or have clung to—your old eating habits and your image of yourself and your world.” TA pg 119
5.) Acceptance—“occurs when we are ready to let go. It comes when we are fully aware of and honest about the past and have made peace with it.” TA pg 120

Define forgiveness.
“The definition we use is to cease to feel resentment for, as to forgive an offense; to renounce anger; to grant pardon without harbouring resentment.” TA pg 122
“Forgiveness is a process rather than a one-time event, and the resentment and anger may recede only with time.” TA pg127

“Forgiveness is release.” TA pg125

What is resentment?
“Resentment turns our hopes and desires into demands, and perpetuates those expectations and demands in circumstances where it is not appropriate. Binding our present relationships to the unresolved emotions of the past holds us and the other person prisoner, keeps us the victim and obstructs the possibility of genuine love and intimacy.” TA pg124

Why do we hesitate to forgive another person?
"We may think that fogiveness implies we are condoning the behavior of the offender. Or we may fear that we’re saying what happened was really not so bad… We may hesitate to forgive because we think that forgiveness necessarily requires reconciliation…”TA pg 126

What are the four steps to forgiveness?
1.) We begin by agreeing with God.
2.) We choose to forgive.
3.) We do it.
4.) We act out forgiveness and our emotions may follow.

How can we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ?
1.) We can write down our feelings.
2.) We can pray about our feelings.
3.) We can picture ourselves experiencing our feelings cradled in Jesus’ loving embrace. TA pg133

Heavenly Father, I lift up in prayer those who have experienced deep hurts and wounds in their lifetime. We know that the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express (Romans 8:26). I pray you would bring forgiveness, healing, and restoration to their lives. I pray they would be able to see that all things work together for the good of those who love you (Romans 8:28).

I ask that you would continue convicting me of my sin. Please give me a tender heart to your leading and to your holy spirit's nudging. Help me be quick to forgive. Please help me also be mindful of each thought that enters my head. I pray that my thinking would be surrendered to You. Thank you for your forgiveness, mercy and grace. In Jesus name, amen.

Feelings of Failure

I have really been struggling with feelings of failure lately. It's like I've hit a road block again. I believe I'm a failure (I can hear satan screaming these lies in my head), I then behave like a failure and now I'm feeling the effects of this behaior... I feel dissatisfied with myself, and in turn am more irritable with my family and had to seek their forgiveness (which they graciously and freely offered).

I thought these statements and verses from "Who I am in Christ" by Neil Anderson (and found on pg 125 of TW) would be good reminders for myself at this time....
I am a new creature
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17

I am established to the end
"He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Cor. 1:8

I am brought near by the blood of Christ
"But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ." Eph 2:13

I am more than a conqueror
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Rom 8:37

I am sealed with the promise of the Holy Spirit
"And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit..." Eph 1:13

I am being changed into His image
"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6

I have all my needs met by God according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus
"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:19

I can do all things through Jesus Christ
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Phil 4:13

I press toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God
"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:14


These verses (highlighted in TW ch 12) also really spoke to me:

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you,

so that in all things at all times,

having all that you need,

you will abound in every good work."

2 Cor. 9:8

"But he said to me,

'My grace is sufficient for you,

for my power is made perfect in weakness.'

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,

so that Christ's power may rest on me."

2 Cor. 12:9

Thank you, Lord, for your word. Thank you for your grace that provides me with all I need to do good works. Thank you for using my weaknesses for your glory. I grab hold of the promise that the testing of my faith develops perseverance, so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4). I move forward in your strength and power alone. In Jesus name, amen.

Thin Again - ch 6 reflections & ques.

(For those who already read this post earlier, I changed it around noon today (saturday)! sorry! I was re-reading and wanted to convey my thoughts a bit more clearly:-) I put a * beside the sections that I changed....)

Chapter 6
Dependence Not Addiction

Here's a brief summary of how addiction is defined in this chapter:
"To give assent… We give ourselves over to relationships, objects, or substances in our attempt to satisfy our desparate need for security, significance, and love... Addiction results from a misplaced human attempt to satisfy our legitimate, God-given need for intimacy... " TA pg 105

The link between addiction and idolatry:
"The objects of our addictions become our false gods. These are what we attend to, where we give our time and energy, instead of love. Addiction, then, displaces and supplants God’s love as the source and object of our deepest true desire. Spiritually, addiction (becomes) a deep-seated form of idolatry." TA 106

This chapter really drove home to me some areas that I need to work on. First of all I had to refresh my memory of what "grave clothes" are defined as and which ones I had pinpointed earlier. Here's what I wrote earlier:
I think grave clothes could refer to anything in my life that prevents me from being spiritually “healthy” and alive, living in right relationship and obedience to Christ…which eventually spills over into other areas of my life (physical, relational, emotional etc.) and prevents me from glorifying God and shining for Him as effectively. In a nutshell the way I would envision ‘grave clothes’ in my life is any area of my life that is not surrendered to Christ.

Identify your grave clothes:
The grave clothes I pinpointed previously were: disordered eating, emotions and poor time management. I still am in agreement with that assessment.

Why you are wearing them? What changes do you expect when they are removed?
*Disordered eating:
In the past, in particular, I have tended to ignore my hunger/fullness. I have tended to gravitate towards what I WANT NOW! I have been mastered by my enjoyment of foods and sweets. I have had little willpower or self-discipline. I have cried out to God for help but have not followed through and grabbed hold of the help He has offered. And I just continued gaining weight. I'd sometimes lose some weight, then yo-yo right back to where I started plus some. I wait expectantly for the day when I am fully surrendered to God with my eating, when the root of greed and gluttony is gone, when I find my truest satisfaction and joy in being obedient and surrendered to God.

Emotions:
I think I wear them to control people (mostly my family). I wear them also to let out what I feel inside. As I become more self-controlled with my emotions I would expect to see better marriage and family relationships. I would expect to find more satisfaction pouring out my needs to God rather then taking it out on the family.

Poor time management:
The computer is the main thing that side-tracks me from using my time wisely. I think it tends to become a bit of a lifeline to the outside world as I don't work outside the home. It is just very accessible. If I found balance in this area I would expect to have a more vibrant relationship with God and people and more orderly house.

Have I DEPENDED on God? Do I actually rely on God for strength?
*One of the most memorable times of depending on God was when my oldest daughter was 3 years old and in ICU battling kawasaki disease, her heart not functioning properly, majorly dehydrated and battling a high fever. I so clearly remember her lifeless body and the fears and anxieties that I was faced with....and also the tremendous source of strength I found in relying on God through this time. I would run to God's word every chance I got and cry out in prayer constantly as I stayed almost round the clock in the ICU ward for that week. It was a time of tremendous growth for me and a great reminder of what truly depending on God is like. (and praise God for her full recovery!)

I have been depending on God for strength and help throughout this whole TW journey. Each day I call out a prayer of surrender and ask for His help and strength. I know He has provided me with all I need to succeed, fully equipping me.

Sadly though, I think I fail in this area all the time. It’s one thing to pray and ask God for help…it’s another thing to actually surrender and ALLOW Him to help me and show me the way out, to direct my paths and FOLLOW Him! It is my desire to grow in this area.

So where do I go from here?
*Eating:
This is finally changing. I am seeing changes within my heart. Praise God! I know I will need to continue to be vigilant and on guard at all times, but I also trust that God will restore me to wholeness as I press on to surrender to Him and depend on Him. I need to continue with conscious 0-5 eating. The changes that are beginning to become really deeply instilled in me are very exciting! I hope and pray this lasts for life!

Emotions:
I need to continue to throw myself on God when I feel strong emotions, ask Him for help to be self-controlled and wait on Him. The more time I spend in His presence the more I will experience victory with this area I believe. I actually don't struggle with this on a daily basis anymore.

I think I tend to struggle with this more when I'm dissatisfied with myself, when I feel like I'm out of control with myself. This is when I begin to just get impatient with anything and everything...and everyone in my family! When I feel that I'm living in surrender to Christ I feel more patient and loving... Aha! Good to pinpoint that! Therefore, I'd say that in general I have experienced progress in this area, praise God! So I think the best way to move forward in this area is to practice His presence more, something God has been laying on my heart lately.

Poor time management:
I definitely have to work on my poor time management. I think my house is showing the effects of my negligence! Also I know I'm missing out on moments with my family. The computer definitely monopolizes my time when improperly managed and balanced. I know that this will change as summer approaches. The ties will be cut as we head off camping and on other travels. I look forward to this change of pace. For now I think a practical step to take would be for me to log my online time (privately that is!). This would help me stay more balanced.

"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." 2 Corinthians 7:10

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Goals - checking in

Checking in on the goals I set for May 30th :

Goal #1 - 157 lbs by May 30th
I reached 157lbs this week, praise God!

Goal #2 - continue exercising 3-5x each week plus of course flyer delivery walk 2x/week
I have been exercising about 3-5x each week generally...although could up that a little.

Goal #3 - find balance in everday activities, start learning some spanish
I'm having trouble finding balance in everyday activities and I haven't started learning spanish yet.

Hitting the 150's is a huge step for me. It also comes with some new baggage. After my second child was born in 2002 I seemed to hit a wall with my weight and stayed stuck at 157lbs for about 3 years. My weight didn't seem to fluctuate at all, no matter how much I worked at it (which in hindsight I'm not sure how consistent I was). Then my weight started to spin wildly out of control the past two years, climbing FAR from the 150's, into the 170's.

I feel like I'm entering a new phase as I face old battles, old failures. I feel like I'm hearing a whisper in my ear saying "Remember how impossible it was to get below 157lbs last time. I'm not sure it's possible...." I need to move forwards....and stop acting like a chicken and act like an eagle! LOL! I need to remember "I'm not a FAILURE, but rather God's SAINT by calling who fails!" (TW pg 98)

As I read over my TW journalling I noticed a few quotes from TW that deal with failure that have really spoken to me:
“He knows we will fail even before we do, but it is not His will that we fail without benefiting or maturing in some way from the experience.” (TW pg 99)

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” (Denis Waitley TW pg 95)

And of course, one of my favorites:
"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat."
F. Scott Fizgerald

I know God has a plan in all this. This scripture sure has been an encouragement to me:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

So, with all this in mind my new re-adjusted (from original) goals are:

Goal #1: HEART changes - a more surrendered close relationship with God and practising God's presence more moment by moment day by day

Goal #2: 150 lbs by the end of the month

Goal #3: Exercise 3-5x each week for at least 20 minutes

Goal #4: Learn some spanish, spend time with the kids focussing especially on devos with them, and find balance in life.

I've found myself drawn to the scale far too often this past week. Thankfully it doesn't send me spiralling out of control. However the thing I have noticed that I don't like is how my mind has been focussing too much on a # (even though it has been all good news this week--yeah PTL!). My focus slides away from God and the heart work He's doing...and ultimately that is my #1 goal - to be in a more surrendered close relationship with God. So, I want to form another goal, which I know will be difficult for me to do....

Goal #5: Only one mid-month weigh in to check progress this month - maybe mid-June.

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms..." Ephesians 1:18-20