Thursday check-in

Checking in for my personal challenge...

#1. No eating in front of the TV unless it is a meal.
Once again I didn't eat while watching TV.

#2. 11pm bedtime.
Went to bed closer to 11:15-30 again....

#3. Exercise 5x this week.
Not today. But I'll aim to complete my 5x by exercising Friday and Saturday.

#4. No desserts this week.
I had a small slice of pie tonight after supper. I had made a coconut cream pie and served it when my parents and my in-laws were here at my place this evening. That doesn't give me an excuse to eat it of course... Whatever the case I was within 0-5. From here on in I will stay away from the desserts. My in-laws are leaving today so things will be settling back to normal around here. Of course that is only for a few days because we're heading down to Mexico in a few days!!! Can't believe that is around the corner!!!

On a victory note... After my slip up on Wednesday night (eating that bread and banana bread) I decided to be really careful and wait for hunger the next morning. I started the day with a great time with the Lord...and He graciously strengthened me and helped me wait it out. I bypassed breakfast with the family (with Jon, the kids and in-laws), which didn't feel awkward as I kept myself busy puttering around the house. I ended up getting hungry later in the morning, opted to just wait a little longer, and then was good and hungry when it was lunchtime. It felt wonderful to be on track and within the boundaries of victory once again. And then, adding one more step forward, I was careful how much I ate at lunch, and was then hungry for supper. Woohoo! I'm very thankful for the Lord's power, provisions and equipping...and grace.

God at Work

"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Clearly God has been at work...for I survived swim suit shopping today! That's worth celebrating! I tell you, the lighting in those Walmart change rooms is VERY unflattering! I didn't get the same effect when trying on my purchases at home...

Anyways, today's shopping trip was another reminder of TW day 5's lesson on loving, accepting and embracing this body God has blessed me with. I picked out swimsuits, with little care about sizes! That is a step in the right direction! I simply wanted it to fit right. This step reflected for me the increasing peace I'm experiencing with regards to my body. I also did not pass condemnation on myself for the many bulges and stretch marks and such that I could see staring back at me in the mirror (which Walmart lighting truly accentuated!). I didn't let what I saw determine who I am.

I am feeling more and more at peace. I can accept what I look like when I know that I am seeking to surrender myself to the Lord and glorify Him. I know that I won't get things perfect and will never have a body like a magazine model, but I will keep seeking Him allowing Him to do His good work in me (whatever that looks like!)...for peace is found in His presence, as I keep my gaze stayed on Him.

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." Isaiah 26:3 (KJV)

Thank you Lord for Your peace and Your constant presence.

This post got me thinking about a beautiful song...so here it is if you want to check it out.

Flowing

Once again, praise God for victory steps He has granted me. This month has been going the best yet (in regards to eating/exercise) since probably about October. Knowing the scale is gone from my life is very freeing. Surrender to the Lord in regards to eating/exercise is flowing. And I can also see surrender to the Lord in other areas beginning to once again be stimulated. I feel like I've gone through a dry spell, spiritually speaking, for the past 1.5 months. Nothing like dry spells I went through in past years, but in comparision to the hunger/thirst for God that I have experienced this past year (in particular January-March'09) this past 1.5 months I have felt a bit complacent in my quiet time with the Lord, in memorizing scripture, in prayer, even in outreach and ministry. I feel God fanning the flame once again.

Life, in a Nutshell

My posting has certainly slowed down lately! I feel a lack of meaningful things to say:-) LOL! Here's a quick update from my end....

Just barely touching the tip of the iceberg with day to day life...

My youngest has been under the weather for the past two weeks. I'm hoping and praying she is on the mend now. This morning she woke up bright and early, came upstairs ALREADY DRESSED, her bed made, was helping herself to breakfast and got her hair and teeth brushed....WITHOUT A WORD FROM ME!!!! Isn't that a miracle! I thought she definitely must be on the mend when I saw that. (She really wanted to go on the computer onto "Webkinz World" before school which I guess motivated her to get ready faster! I'll take that!)

My eldest daughter has had some growing pains in regards to independance issues. She is only 9 years old, but it feels like she is going on 13 years old. But the Lord is good and we are all learning and growing together.

My lunch hour supervision job is going fine. I have my really UP days (like yesterday, when I went on and on to my husband about how much I loved my job and how much I was learning). And then I have my DOWN days when it feels like I know NOTHING at all about problem solving with kids!!!

I am very thankful for a group of ladies who I am journeying with daily. They are such a blessing from the Lord.

As a result of daily accountability and increased support, encouragement, sharpening and prayer, I have found a greater degree of balance and surrender to the Lord in each area of my life: spiritually, physically (with eating and exercise) and emotionally. Praise God.

The Lord has been filling me up each day. It seems He keeps teaching me new things each and every day. I can't help but get excited to hear from Him! Yesterday I stumbled across some familiar verses in Lamentations...

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:22-24

The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him is my prayer this morning. I wait in expectation for all that the Lord has in store for the day! All the things He will teach me. All the words He will speak to me. All the ways He will answer my prayers. All the ways He will use me for His purposes and ways for His glory alone. He alone satisfies. May I decrease and Him INCREASE greatly!

Reflections (Jan. 26)

I think I'm going to put my food & exercise blog on hold once again for awhile...at least for a time.

However one thing I thought I'd like to track here at "Rainbow Promises" in regards to my eating are observations/corrections noted, verses that speak to specific circumstances, struggles, victory steps, answered prayers, intentionally pre-planning for trials etc. These posts will be called "Reflections."

I have to say things feel quite out of whack and out of routine with regards to my eating lately. I know these times come and go and I just have to roll with it:-)

Here's a quick recap of the weekend...

Friday (as previously posted on my food/exercise blog):

A step in the right direction...

I was REALLY craving a hot chocolate or coffee drink mid afternoon, though I wasn't hungry... But I walked away while my water was heating up, prayed and kept asking myself if I was setting myself up for victory at this moment... And praise God, I made it through the test, and chose an herbal tea instead! Thanks Lord for showing me the way out! Amen.

O&C: At supper I thought I'd hit a comfortable #5....but then we went swimming right after supper and I have to admit my stomach was feeling a little heavy! I guess that was a signal that I need to slow down to make sure my body signals when I'm done, when hunger has been satisfied.

A step in the right direction...

I had been feeling a craving for ice cream after the pizza supper and mentioned it to my husband. But then I decided to just opt for some jolly rancher candies instead for dessert. Jon asked, on our way back from swimming, if I still had my craving (because he would go get ice cream any chance he got!)...and in all honesty I didn't feel ANY craving for ice cream or any food for that matter right now. That is huge for me! Usually, after something like this outing, I feel like something soothing. So, praise God for that!!!

Sunday (as posted on my food/exercise blog):

Observation: I went a little overboard once again with dessert at lunch. It pushed me over that comfy #5 unfortunately as I munched on more of it after my parents left our place after lunch.

Correction:

#1 Once again I need to re-evaluate how i handle desserts when I have company. I always desire to sit back and relax and fully enjoy the dessert once company leaves... I think the best way to not add a link in a chain towards a fall would be to REALLY eat a small amount and savour savour savour when company is present. Then take a moderate amount after company leaves and FULLY SAVOUR and apply all the conscious eating tips. If I followed that plan of action I'd feel like it was a victory. This would be as Jesus said to do in the face of temptation...WATCHING.

#2 Also, did I prepare for victory by praying and praising? I don't feel I was very intentional in this area. I was certainly enjoying the company of my parents. I was certainly hungry for lunch. And I certainly ate wholesome, whole body pleasers. But I wasn't quite prepared for temptation, ready to break any links of the chain that would lead to a fall. I DID let Satan have a foothold unfortunately, by not setting myself up for victory by intentionally by throwing myself at the Lord's feet in regards to my eating today. This would be doing as Jesus said to do in the face of temptation...PRAYING.

Later in the evening I experienced a step in the right direction...

I wasn't hungry, so instead of really digging into the food and going all out...I had a small amount. Not only that, but Jon brought down a small bowl of ice cream for me (the last of the carton which was bought on Saturday by the way)...and I actually said "no" which is truly a miracle in itself! That's a God thing! This was a victory step for me. Thanks, Lord!

And that brings me to...

Monday (today):

I'm struggling with waiting for hunger tonight. I had a big lunch and probably a bit too much sweets. I've resolved I'm going to go and spend some time in the Bible after posting this and find satisfaction there.

Lord, I choose to sit at your feet now and experience YOU and the way YOU want to meet the desires of my heart. Thank you, Lord! Amen.

Accountability

I said I'd give account for the weekend... So here goes.

It didn't end up being quite as on track as I would have liked...or as the Lord would have liked is more like it! But I'm not beating myself up over it. I'm living and learning.

Thursday ended up being quite an on-track day, PTL!

Friday went smoothly until evening, even with a buffet dinner! Then when I got home I was getting the munchies and grabbed a handful of pretzels. I wanted to go much further then just a handful of pretzels let me tell you! I wanted to dig into chocolates and actually was picturing dipping pretzels into melted chocolate... And then the next image that came to mind and tempted me was a piece of hot toasted homeade bread (which i have on my counter). I knew God was calling me to leave it though and so I went down to the TV, took Vanilla my guinea pig in my lap and petted her for awhile. Made it, praise God.

I'm thankful I made it through the buffet meal victoriously, eating to a comfortable #5. I've decided I need to listen to the one body signal that i've noticed really happens frequently when I'm comfortably full--a nice little burp. I've tried to ignore it and just keep eating many times and know that is the signal that my body has enough and i need to stop *now*! So I'm planning being more vigilant in that regard.

Saturday I started out with good intentions and presented my plea for help before the Lord. I was calling out to Him. I was hungry in the morning... But then wasn't hungry before I headed to the church for play dress rehearsal and performance. So I ate at 11:30 and then the eating just seemed to go downhill from there. In the evening I ate more sugary treats then I should have after I returned from the drama performance.

On the positive note, the drama performance went AWESOME! The content of it went along the lines of a lot of content from Case for Faith and Case for Christ by Lee Strobel. My daughter was the main character, an investigative reporter, who was investigating the mystery of the manger. Her name was "Jane Blonde" playing on the James Bond character. Music would play everytime her name was said. It was a lot of fun and a really powerful script.

Sunday was so-so. I ended up getting a little overdosed on sugary stuff, despite hunger, after lunch when I was making some chocolate dipped pretzels and brownies. Too much chocolate and sugar for me. I decided to skip supper and ended up eating later after the Sunday evening drama performance when I got a little hungry.

Monday has been going well so far, praise God! Seriously! I am just so thankful for a new day and a new start:-) I have been enjoying more veggies and fruits today so far, which feels really good:-)

So, that's the rundown so far. I've gotta run though as I have to get this house back in order. My heart is praising God for helping me through some tempting moments and for constantly being near me. What an awesome God!

New Creation

Well, the last few days have been going well. I am feeling amazingly free with the goal of staying away from the scale. I think I just *may* be ready this time! I think I feel ready to be weaned and focussing on the 0-5 scale instead. Praise God!

The last few days I have been thinking that I need to take each moment at a time and focus on victory in the PRESENT moment. I wanted to take three days with no excuses, no rationalizing when wanting to eat outside 0-5. I was going to say I did two days 0-5 eating already....but actually looking at my private food log I see that it actually was only Tuesday that was 100% and today has been good....each moment I choose to be obedient to God certainly DOES feel like a big deal!! So, I will continue with the three days plan for today and tomorrow. I want to take these tempting moments as opportunities that I *really* do go before the Lord...as far too often I bypass fighting the temptation and I do things in my own flesh.

These verses really spoke to me on Sunday in my devotions...

"Lord God, in my inner being I delight in Your law, but I see another
law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. How wretched am I?! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 7:22-25

I can totally relate to these verses! I often feel like a prisoner to my fleshly desires--greed and gluttony, lack of self control, strong emotions, a loose tongue and more... Oh Lord, how wretched am I!!!! Thank you for providing a way out of this mess through Jesus Christ!

Then Monday morning as I was jogging (boy do I ever have some good times with God in those moments:-)...the following verses began to hit me...

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ
lives in me." Galations 2:20

Wow, I really AM a new creation! Why do I doubt this and live like I'm the "old" creation?! Satan keeps on dragging me down with temptation and with discouragement... But I'm not that "old" person anymore...the "old" has been crucified and Christ lives in ME and I've been made NEW! Praise God for these miracles!

Then I read this thread on the thinwithin forums and was greatly encouraged and challenged... I found it encouraging reading how others deal with temptation head on. It's time for me to really and truly do the same as I am a NEW creation! I desire to glorify God in all I eat, drink, think, say and do. I'll end with some these inspiring words...

"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we TAKE CAPTIVE EVERY THOUGHT to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

Progress

My friend Marcie noticed my discouragement over the past while and gave me this wise advice:
"Maybe you can make a list of all the positive changes you have made--in order to SEE how far you have come and not get discouraged."

What awesome advice! I have decided to do a bit of looking back at where I've come from, the progress I've made and also look forward to where I want to go from here.

What I have learned:

I feel free from the consuming thoughts about what and when I’m going to eat. I don’t think about food all that much anymore actually! I feel like I’ve placed food in a right place in my life, relinquishing the mastery that it once had in my life.
"'Everything is permissible for me'—but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible for me'—but I will not be mastered by anything.” 1 Cor 6:12

I tend to eat within 0-5 most times. In fact eating 0-5 has become more natural over the past two months, with the exception of this past week! Praise God for this progress!

I usually apply the keys to conscious eating--sitting down to eat, reducing distractions, making sure my mind and body are relaxed, paying attention to the foods I’m eating, eating slowly and savouring each bite. This has all become more second nature as well, praise the Lord!

I have learned to observe and correct, generally withholding the club of condemnation and rather choosing to dwell on God’s grace and mercy and umpteen chances to start over again.
"Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord'--and you forgave the guilt of my sin." Psalm 32:1-5

I have pinpointed triggers (aka “fat machinery”) that often nudge me outside 0-5 eating.

I have become more intentional about planning for trials in advance.

I have become more comfortable eating in social situations, finally coming to the place where my focus is on the reason for the occasion (which is usually NOT food!). I have learned to put my fork down and take sips of water between bites and enjoy the company of friends and family.

I have released 17 pounds in the past 3 ½ months.

I have found amazing supportive like-minded friends, surrounding myself with an amazing Christian community.

Oh how I have come to love spending time in God’s word. I have been so hungry for time with Him over the past month in particular. I am also growing in the area of praying scripture, which has been one of my goals for quite some time. I have learned to rely on God for strength, surrendering more of myself to Him. And He has proven Himself so faithful. He really does satisfy so much more then anything else in this world.
“Taste and see that the LORD is good.” Psalm 34:8

Moving Forward

I am beginning to feel God telling me to loosen the grip of some of my more “legalistic” approaches toward TW.

“If you find yourself on the path of your performance, you can jump ship into an ocean of grace, deeper than any sin, broader than any transgression. It is cool, refreshing, and free. It cost our Savior everything, but in His love He offers it freely to us.” TW pg 41

I need to continuing focussing on observing and correcting and experiencing His grace and forgiveness. I know I’ve posted this so many times but some of my favorite quotes are:
I am a LEARNER not a failure.
"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat." F. Scott Fizgerald
"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6

This statement really stood out to me last night:
“Thin Within has helped me build my life in the present. It freed me to enjoy and praise God while in process, rather than waiting until I had achieved my goal.” TW pg 42

I need to live in the present, not so consumed with my goals. Even if I stayed at the weight I am right now, yet had a tender obedient heart towards God, I should be praising God and accept myself the way I am and keep the focus on Him and on my heart relationship with Him, not on self.

I am feeling nudged towards letting the scale go until mid-July, allowing 0-5 eating to be my scale. This is an area I truly desire to grow in and have struggled so much with. We’ll see how that goes! This will be a tough one!

I am going to keep my food log private for now, with the hope and prayer that right eating will flow in right relationship with God, rather then needing approval from men.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Gal 1:10
As I kept my food log public I know that I was certainly caring about appearances...which in turn motivated me to make better choices… I know this accountability tool good to a degree as I began to experience God’s victory with the previous mastery of sugary treats. I know progress was made as a result. Now I need to rely on Him and allow 0-5 eating to flow even more naturally in my life.

I also want to work on key #2 to conscious eating: reducing distractions in order to eat in a calm environment.
“Ponder relishing a quiet meal, where you can be sill and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10) when you eat… The Lord wants us to experience both His provisions and His peace.” TW pg 8
I would like to invite God more and more into the entire meal experience 100% of the time.

I continue wanting to practice His presence as well. I want to keep hungering and thirsting for His word and time with Him. I look forward to spending time with Him in His presence as we enjoy more time outdoors in God’s creation over the next two months.

May this verse be true in my life, Lord…
“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Cor. 3:18

Monday update

Yesterday I wrote:
We're going to have a bit of an out-of-schedule kind of day as we spend a family day going biking and probably eating out (maybe just an ice cream stop). My aim will be to pack a light lunch for myself and take a very small serving of ice cream, maybe even just share Jon's ice cream treat and really savour those few bites... I like that idea:-)

I waited for hunger this morning...which felt like a huge victory as I really really wanted to eat earlier! Finally got hungry around 10:30am, which was perfect for our park picnic lunch stop. I ate a piece of farmer sausage in a bun (plus some veggies and an orange) at 10:45 but still wasn't hungry by 5:15 for supper *sigh*. I didn't feel anything past a #5, but I guess the protein in the sausage probably takes longer to digest. If I wanted to be hungry for supper at our usual time I guess I should have eaten maybe just half the sandwich....

We opted to go for slurpees rather then ice cream, according the kid's wishes...which helped me out a lot! I didn't feel at all tempted to have a slurpee! I just had a few sips of Jon's and was quite satisfied. Thank you Lord.

Yesterday I wrote:
After our biking outing I plan on creating a "pyramid" cake for the Wed. school event (taste of egypt). I'll aim to completely avoid any of those cake trimmings or icing, except if I'm hungry of course, at which point it would just be a moderate amount.
I cut the cake into the pyramid layers without snitching any cake trimmings. Thank you Lord. And I had a fairly moderate amount at supper for dessert...although I have to admit that was probably what did put me eating to a #6 for supper. I was pretty satisfied after our main course. I'm going to have to focus on this area a little more.

I haven't really done the "giving back the last bite to the Lord" today. I'll need to get back to that tomorrow.

Well, that's a summary of my day.

Because of the LORD's great love
we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself,
"The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
Lamentations 3:22-24

And the "Icing on the Cake" is....

Okay, I've got to say I love the icing on the cake. It is usually my favorite part as I really enjoy the most sugary of sweets! So I think this is an appropriate title for today's post despite it being about weight release!

So, after planning for trials, then taking action and experiencing God's amazing presence and provisions as I surrendered to Him, the "icing on the cake" is.....

1 pound released!

All the praise and glory goes to God for equipping me with all I needed as promised in scripture.

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8

Filled with hope!

I stepped on the scale again and was down another pound - 163lbs! That's 2 lbs this week already! I'm just ecstatic as I haven't been this weight since March 2007. Down 9 lbs since the beginning of February.

The best part of all this is that I really KNOW that this is God at work. I KNOW that I didn't do this in my own strength, but rather it was God at work.

In the past few years I have tried to lose weight in my own strength/self discipline....and succeeded temporarily (though never fully achieved my goal to be within my BMI once again)....but then the weight came back on plus some.

I feel something is really different this time round as I truly am relying on God for my strength this time. I am going to Him daily and more frequently moment by moment on this journey. I am persevering (despite failing and setbacks) and accept this is my act of obedience to Him, no matter if goals get met or not. I don't feel as deprived (of food) as I have in the past which is also awesome! I somehow feel more free then I ever did before when I was trying in my own strength. I feel relaxed knowing this is for life and that in God's time I'll reach my God-given natural weight. I know that in the process I'm learning far more important lessons then a # on a scale can give me! I'm learning what it means to surrender myself more fully to God. I'm also learning more about what it means to simply observe and correct, rather then beat myself up as my tendency would then be to just give up.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for the hope and strength you give me each day.
In Jesus name, Amen.

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Phil 4:13

View my food log here.

April 29

Chapter 28 & 29 reflections:

A few things that stood out for me when reading these chapters....

Jesus says, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me." Matthew 11:29

"To submit willingly to a yoke is to submit to the authority of the one to whom we are bound...Beth Moore states, 'There is no such thing as yoke-free living.' We will bow to someone or something. Jesus is requesting that we offer ourselves in surrender to Him and His call. Thankfully, unlike the yokes of slavery, the law, or hard service, Jesus promised that His yoke would be easy and that His burden would be light. In fact, He promised to be our yoke-fellow, the one who would pull alongside us and bear much of the burden." p. 297

Chapter 29 p.313 asks us to reflect on changes over the past month...

I feel I have crossed an obstacle that in the past has usually discouraged and stopped me from moving forward - FAILURE. This step of persevering (in the face of failure) is a big step for me! Praise God!

You can view my Daily Food Log here.

Choices

Yesterday there were a few times where I had a choice to make...

First, I went out for coffee with a friend in the morning. I was thinking about the cafe mocha on the menu (was craving that) but opted instead for a sugar/cream free herbal tea instead as I wasn't hungry. I was so thankful I made this choice as I ended up getting hungry shortly after and able to enjoy a good lunch rather. Praise God!

Second, I went out with a friend for dessert in the evening. I saved some room for dessert, which was the first victory step! Then after that I decided to share a dessert with her (she left it up to me). I'm glad I made this decision as it was the perfect amount of treat. I didn't feel overfull and I felt completely satisfied and we had a wonderful visit. Praise God for this as well!

You can view my Daily Food Log here.

April 22

April 22nd food log:
(Chapter 20 & 21)

Well, I finally get a breather this morning! Some time to myself to sit and reflect. Reflecting on last Friday night and eating out I have to say I felt there was a change in my approach. I made sure to be hungry in time for the meal. Jon and I shared a meal and appetizer which was more then enough. I was very careful to eat slowly and savour the food and really watched my portions. I pushed aside the parts that I wasn’t enjoying as much. I stopped before I was full. It felt like I had internalized more of conscious eating. Praise be to God for that.

On a more negative note…..I just ate too much ice cream this weekend! Boy was it ever enjoyable, but it was just too much! Jon and I have made a pact to limit sugars and cut out desserts until his parent’s arrive for their visit on May 3rd….with the exception of if we’re out for dinner or have company over. So, I’m hoping this will be a time to really loosen the grip of sugar on my life again. I know it really does master me so often, so I guess I’ll declare this a bit of a “fast” from sugar for the next two weeks.

I have been feeling a little sick the past few days (not enough to not eat of course!) but it pushes me at times to reach for food when I’m not hungry. I’m not sure what the solution is to this. I often wonder if food will help settle my stomach….sometimes it does but mostly it doesn’t. So I’m not sure how to correct this behavior.

So, I’m pressing on. I am looking forward to reaching 160lbs and truly maintaining it. I think that would be a big step for me right now. I’m very thankful that I have maintained 165lbs over the past month. This feels like a step in the right direction. So, now I’m hoping for one more step in this direction.

Also I have been exercising a bit more over the past two weeks. This is a step in the right direction for me too.

“…being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil 1:6

MARCH - TW ch 29

March 29th food log:

I found it interesting doing the survey on p. 309-312. I found there actually were some changes to some of the answers compared to a month ago. Kind of neat actually. I feel I’m actually not worrying about my weight and food as much. I find this quite interesting as in the past I was much more consumed and stressed about this when eating within hunger/fullness. I feel this is a change in the right direction. Also, I feel there have been changes in my approach towards social eating. I don’t feel it is as much of a problem. I feel like I’ve experienced some victory in this area. I DEFINITELY know that my attention towards eating to fullness has changed. This is something I have never focussed on properly. I have tended to only focus on hunger “0”. So, this is quite an encouraging change as well. And I definitely feel I have changed in my approach towards eating….I have the conscious eating tips ingrained in my thinking. So, praise God for these changes. I’m encouraged to look back and see some changes. I look forward to these being cemented further. I really want to see 0-5 eating just flow naturally from me, no stress about it, but just flowing as second nature. I look forward to the day when it just works that way. I feel I’m on the right path right now. I also look forward to the day when I experience victory in the face of temptation. ...actually the focus needs to be entirely on God and the ways of escape that He has provided, as this is the only true hope for victory. This is definitely an area that needs to be focussed on.

A couple verses I have found have stood out to me over the past while are:

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
1 Corinthians 10:13

Hmmm….I never noticed before that the passages references were nearly identical with the “1” and “3” switched around! Interesting!!! That should help stick it in my memory!

Here are some goals (to be done in God’s strength) I have for the next stretch as I will have completed the book as of tomorrow…
1.) Re-read highlighted portions of book and also my journaling.
2.) Continue keeping a daily journal and food log.
3.) Continue conscious eating and 0-5 eating – aim for at least 90% eating at “0”
4.) Daily, read/study topics/words under the concordance and personalize/pray these verses.
5.) Exercise 20 minutes 5x/week starting April 1st.
6.) Make a daily schedule to help fulfill goals and follow God’s leading.
7.) Plan for trials and be prepared. Pray a prayer of surrender daily. Look for the escape from temptations.
8.) My goals are:
*mid-April 160lbs
*mid-May 155lbs
*mid-June 150lbs *147lbs by the beginning of summer vacation

MARCH - TW ch 13

March 13th:

I can’t believe I’ve actually followed 0-5 eating Saturday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday this week! Woohoo! I find that pretty exciting. I am contemplating not even stepping on the scale until at least the end of the month. Maybe not even then. I just don’t want to be pulled into the head games that happen when I see that # on the scale. I am praying I can continue eating this way. I have been praying aloud each day asking for God to help me surrender to His will in this area, for the Holy Spirit to empower me to change etc. God has been so faithful this week. I am thankful for His strength. Last night I was at a ladies’ event and told my husband I wouldn’t eat the snacks served (as I knew I wouldn’t be hungry after supper)…and I followed through (praise God!). Each small victory is a step. I’m not sure how today will go as it is a pizza lunch at school….I’ll just eat one slice (just water to drink, nothing else) and see if I’m hungry by supper. Hoping I will be.

This chapter was a good reminder when I’m off track that I need to stop beating myself up (path of my own performance) which ultimately leads me to fail MORE….but rather observe, repent and correct and experience God’s grace and forgiveness and power.

Pg 134
“So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Romans 7:21-25
There is good reason for gratitude once the correction is made and we focus our eyes on Him. Paul realized that his proper identity was in Christ. He recognized that without the Spirit all he could count on was failure. But he didn’t accept the identity of a “failure.” He recognized that he was no longer a slave to sin, but was now a slave to God, even if his body sometimes behaved otherwise. He thanked God that the truth lies in Christ through whom Paul was set free. Like him, once we are in Christ we have the freedom to become instruments of righteousness (Romans 6:13).

Behavior of my naturally thin friend exercise pg 135:
I have noticed many of my friends are thin eaters. One of my best friends is definitely a thin eater. She eats small portions at meals. She is stuffed way before me! She may turn down dessert or she may eat it, but always a very moderate amount. She has candy, chocolates, goodies sitting around her house for weeks not being eaten!!! Can’t imagine that! She knows NOTHING about calories or fat etc. of food! She just eats when she’s hungry, stops when she’s full, eats what she wants….and is naturally thin. In fact she seems to be AGAINST all diet rules! Kind of interesting I find! Another friend, who I knew YEARS ago, was a very slim lady. I worked as a nanny in her home, so I truly had a good glimpse of her eating. She always seemed to eat in moderation. She ate regular foods, desserts, didn’t exercise even (I think) and was very slim. She just seemed to be able to enjoy a moderate amount of healthy food and treats.

FEBRUARY - Getting started!

Getting started following "Thin Within" by Judy & Arthur Halliday

I have been keeping a journal since I started this journey and will try to catch up to where I am today in my journey!

February 3rd:
Well, I am determined this is it. I want to lose this weight once and for all. I am sickened by my greed for food, the power/mastery that food has in my life and the lack of self-discipline I have. I know and believe God can do miracles and by His Holy Spirit change me from the inside out. I want to surrender to Him. My goal is to keep a daily journal in this folder to be a reminder for myself in my journey, and also help me keep a degree of accountability with others. My present goal in terms of food records is to have a record of my eating right on my fridge (in plain view of my husband). I know this has helped me in the past, keeping track of whether I'm hungry or not at each eating occasion along with whether or not I have exercised. I want to get back to this. Also, I really want to have a more balanced diet and want to make sure each eating occasion has more value. A verse that really has spoken to me is:

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
1 Corinthians 10:31

What does it mean "for the glory of God"? I think it means that even in the most simple, daily tasks/goings-on God wants us to glorify Him.....and I think the way I can do this is being obedient to Him. God has impressed on me that obedience is reflected in:

1.) following hunger/fullness cues that He has gifted me with
2.) making wiser more balanced food choices.

Ultimately that means not allowing anything to master me but Christ.....and I know that my greed for certain foods, particularily sugary ones, or even just ANY food when I'm not hungry DOES at times does take a higher place then Christ and master me. I want this to change in my life.

February 4th:
Well, today was a start….not a perfect start, but a start all the same! And I don’t feel too discouraged. I know it always takes a bit to really consistently wait for hunger… A couple things I liked about the way the day went. First, I felt like I ate so much healthier. I enjoyed the foods I ate. I felt I paid fairly good attention to the food/pace I was eating. And I was pleased that I waited for hunger in the morning. That’s not always an easy thing to do.

February 5th:
Today went fairly well. Still ate a bit more in one sitting then I should have, but I think it all worked out.

February 6th:
Well, today was a difficult day for me as I was completely low on energy and tired as I’d been up all night with my sick daughter. I started the day working on just a little bit of sleep. This is always my weakest point for overeating I find. I didn’t wait for hunger for the majority of the day, but was thankful (and surprised) when I got hungry at suppertime. This was very encouraging to me. I made healthy choices for the most part though. And I didn’t eat past a #5 (with the exception of supper). So, that was good too.

February 7th:
Tuesday has been my best day so far… Anyways, I really feel pleased that I have been continuing to make healthy food choices. That’s a step in the right direction.

February 9th - 11th:
Well, so far this week has gone really BAD! I have not been on track at all! But I am going to keep plugging away. I think one of the keys to my failure is weekend laziness or out of routine issues. My other big downfall is definitely when I bake. I love to bake though and am not sure how to manage this one and eat in moderation. I know I have to figure this one out though. The clincher this weekend was a chocolate cake I baked, and then came the buns and then came the banana bread and then the sugar cookies... Once I`m off track it`s REALLY hard to get back on. Anyways, I know the Lord forgives and desires me to keep plugging away! Not giving up here! It`s just one bad week! I`ve got lots more good ones to come.

February 14th:
Well, that doesn’t look like a very good eating day! Anyways, it was a special day and kind of hard to be on track, particularily since I didn’t start the day hungry. Would have helped to have been hungry for breakfast!

February 17th:
I stepped on the scale and was mortified to see 173lbs! Ugh! What is going on! I just can’t seem to get things back on track… Feels like a useless battle at times…. Sigh

February 19th:
That brings me to Tuesday… I stepped on the scale this morning and was 171lbs. Quite discouraging actually. I know I’m not in the “zone” yet. Anyways, I was hungry earlier then usual this morning which was encouraging. I ended up rumbling at 8am which is great. I had a small bowl of cereal. I also did my cardio of 20 minutes jump rope (do 1200 jumps) .

Well, I’m really thankful for how the day went. Yeah, each day I followed my hunger and fullness! That feels REALLY good! I don’t know when the last time was that I did that….probably not since November. Praise God for this small victory! My plan is to fast tomorrow until supper as it is our churches’ day of fasting and prayer. So, I’m guessing I’ll have another day “on the wagon”!

February 20th:
Well today was a day of fasting and prayer….so eating wasn’t really an issue! What an awesome day of time spent with the Lord it was! And in the evening I had such a wonderful bible study with two new believers. It was all about God’s character being the foundation of our faith. I knew it was going to be a pretty big study for these ladies and God has been speaking in so many different ways on this topic to me—through Sunday morning sermon, through both bible study guides I’m working through etc…..all in one week! It was really awesome to unpack it with these ladies and I know that the time of prayer and fasting was used by God to help focus my prayer for this study. So PTL!

I rumbled MANY times throughout the day, starting at 8:30am . Pretty much rumbled every 2 hours through the day…..interesting observation I must say! Something for me to remember in the future. I also got my cardio in today, skipping rope for my regular 20 minutes (1200 jumps). So, that was good too.

February 21st:
I was determined to have another on-track day, so as I headed out to the school to volunteer I just brought along a yogurt and plastic spoon in case I got hungry. Didn’t end up eating it despite rumbling at 10:30am as it wasn’t convenient…

February 23rd:
I’m definitely disappointed with how today went. I started out the day with good intentions and did wait for hunger, but then as I did some experimental cooking I taste-tested food which kind of lead down a slippery slope.

I’m feeling a little anxious about tomorrow as meals are a bit more structured tomorrow….eating out for lunch and supper (not in a restaurant but elsewhere). So, it will be a little more difficult to time eating when I’m hungry. If I start out right, being hungry prior to lunch I should be okay. I know that hot dog, chips and juice are on the menu for lunch….so I’ll try to keep the amount down, maybe skip the chips and aim for ½ the hot dog. We’ll see. Then in the evening it’s a potluck at church….that one will be a little more difficult to control the amount of food. I will need to be very careful tomorrow to make sure this weekend doesn’t turn into the same as last! My aim for weight by the end of next week is down to 167 lbs. Hopefully I’ll turn the corner on that and get back to that 165 lbs really soon, then start working on new weight to lose! Weight loss is SOOOO hard! It’s crazy!

February 23rd - 28th:
Not a very good week in regards to eating…..