TW Summer Study - day 1

Day One ~ Free to Enjoy God's Lavish Love

LAVISH love. Gotta love that description! And so many amazing verses! Some of my favorites:

The Lord your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with lovingkindness.
I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt...
you will take up your tambourines
and go out to dance with the joyful.
Jeremiah 31:3-4

Aren't those beautiful verses of God's LAVISH love?! A few statements that popped out for me on the first page of the chapter were

"lover of your soul...His unfathomable love for you...this love is not based on your performance...God is crazy about you...God loves you exactly the way you are."

Wow! Those ones hit me strongly this time round! Thanks Lord for your love.

Next, on page 4, the other statement that stuck out for me was:

"Thin Within is not a diet plan. It is a way of life.... It is a process that requires time and commitment. However, it is also full of enriching self-discovery." TW pg4

I have been pondering this a lot more lately. I realize that it doesn't matter what plan you choose to follow (to lose weight) you have to be able to stick with the plan FOR THE REST OF YOU LIFE. And this is what I LOVE about TW! It is certainly a plan I can stick with for the rest of my life! Eat when I am hungry. Stop when I am satisfied. Ask for God's guidance in the whole process. Find satisfaction for the soul. Abide with the Lord. Learn to make gratitude the very fabric of my life. This is the kind of plan that I WANT to stick with for the rest of my life!!!

I filled out the questionaire on "My Current Relationship with Food" (pg6). It highlighted for me how I so easily fall into the rut of almost ignoring the food and shovelling it in without savouring and forgetting to have a thankful heart. It's not like this always. But I certainly find it harder to slow down, savor...and find the rhythm needed to connect with the family over dinner, connect with the Lord as I eat and also connect with my body's signals. Whew, that's quite a list!

Here is a run down of the keys to conscious eating that are presented on pg 8-10. In the past two months I was posting them one by one as a weekly challenge. I already went a bit more in-depth with each of the following posts if anyone cares to read my thoughts on each individual key.

#1. Eat only when my body is hungry
#2. Reduce the number of distractions in order to eat in a calm environment.
#3. Eat when sitting down.
#4. Eat when my body and mind are relaxed.
#5. Eat and drink the food and beverages my body enjoys.
#6. Pay attention to my food while eating.
#7. Eat slowly and savor each bite.
#8. Stop before my body is "full"

What sticks with me from this lesson is GOD'S LAVISH LOVE and LIVE (and eat) IN PRESENT-TIME.

Challenge #9 ~ The First Meal of the Rest of Your Life

I think this exercise (as outlined on pg 154-155 of Thin Within) provides a great opportunity to put the eight keys of conscious eating into practice. My challenge this week will be to apply this exercise. Anyone else care to join this week's challenge? Keep me posted if you do!

First of all before you even start, try to set up the right environment (maybe china, music, flowers, special lighting, a favorite spot etc.), making sure it is a calm environment and reducing distractions. The book recommends that "it is best to eat this meal with the Lord as you only companion, although you may have someone with you if that person toally supports your desire to be conscious of your food and the Lord." Remember, "the main purpose of this experience is to taste and see that Lord is good."

Last June I typed up a summary of this exercise along with some quick point reminders.

1.) PRAY
"Ask God to help you honor the body He has given you by maintaining the appropriate boundaries, including time and place. Reaffirm your love for Him and your desire to enjoy the food He has provided."

2.) COMFY
"Select your favorite spot and wear clothes in which you are comfortable."

3.) #0
"Check your hunger level. Plan to be at a 0 so that you can truly enjoy the food."

4.) ENTER GOD'S PRESENCE
"Take a moment to enter into God's presence as you invite Him to be a part of your dining experience."

5.) NOTE ENVIRONMENT
"Notice everything about the environment. No matter how familiar it may be, look at it as if you have never seen it before. Thank the Lrod for all of His provisions."

6.) NOTE FOOD
"Before you start eating, become aware of every item of food. Notice how it looks on the plate. Express your gratitude for the beauty in teh colors of the food and its fragrance. Before taking your first bite, take a moment to thank God for His generous provisions, and pray that the food would bring physical satisfactiona nd health to your body."

7.) SAVOUR
"Chew the food slowly and notice the different flavours and textures."

8.) SAMPLE
"Sample each item and then ask yourself it it was enjoyable. Does it really delight you? Or did you just think it would?"

9.) RATE
"How would you rate each item on your plate from 0 to 10 (0 being awful and 10 being terrific)?"

10.) #5
"Before you continue eating, check in with your hunger #'s. Stop eating when you're at a comfortable 5. Remember, your empty stomach is only as large as your fist."

11.) THANK GOD
"When you've finished, once again thank and praise God, for this time and for what you have learned during the dining experience."

Throwing out the Scale!

Okay, maybe not literally as my husband still uses the scale quite frequently. So I am throwing out the scale figuratively.

However, I think I'm ready to set it aside....forever! *gasp* Yes, I said FOREVER! I'm not sure if I'm just on one of my rollercoaster rides again! And I'm not 100% sure if I'm being motivated by denial...not wanting to see the # on the scale. I don't *think* I am...but it could certainly be one of the feelings in the whole mix.

I thought the month of March was just amazing. I went with the flow of 0-5 eating. I had my slipups, but didn't pull out the club of condemnation much at all. I was active. I felt beautiful. I was finding great satisfaction in the Lord, filling up on Him. I was actually quite shocked when I saw my weight had climbed a bit.

I stepped on the scale a number of times for the month of April....and noticed that my weight fluctuated, mostly settlling below that shocker # that I saw after my month without the scale. But I noticed that my eating slipped and slided a lot more. I also noticed that the club of condemnation was pulled out more. And I noticed how the way I viewed myself was quite affected by the # I read on the scale.

I preferred how the month of March went. I appreciated the "flow." I don't know if that makes sense. I realize that no one notices the difference that 5 lbs makes on my body (10lbs yes, but 5 lbs no). Therefore, when I start to feel fat and blobby and ugly simply because of those fluctuating 5lbs it begins to work against me and sends me spiralling more out of control.

This morning I was hit with an old realization in a fresh way...

I want my focus to be on getting rid of GREED (for God's glory) not getting SKINNY (for my glory).

I felt like I was suddenly released from unrealistic expectations of myself. All these years I've been aiming to hit that 147lb mark that I was prior to kids...and I keep failing to meet that mark. But I want eating 0-5 to be part of the very fabric of my life, an internal motivation, not an external motivation.

In order for me to remain intentional, I know that I really need to continue filling out my eating and exercise log each and every day. This is my way of being honest with myself and also documenting any patterns that may be developping. I also will continue observing/correcting and truth journaling. Once again this is about being intentional and being transformed from the inside.

What does this look like in the long run? Will I gain weight? Will I lose weight? I don't know! And I actually am pretty much at a point where I don't care!!!! (I can't believe I actually wrote that!)

What I DO care about is being obedient to the Lord, finding soul satisfaction in Him alone, filling up on Him, daily following my God-given hunger/fullness signals, aiming to be as conscious and present with my eating as possible, aiming to fill my body with whole-body pleasers more than teasers and staying active. That's the stuff I care about!!!

I'll let you know if this approach sticks. I think I've been journeying to this point for quite some time now...and may finally be ready for this step!

Challenge #8 ~ Slowly Savor

This is the last Thin Within conscious eating key to unpack! Wow, time has flown. And sadly I feel I have not put off the old self and put on the new in the past eight weeks. However, one positive is that I think the eight keys have really been ingrained in my memory much better than ever before. Digesting them one week at a time has given me a chance to absorb and apply the concept more fully.

So, here is the last one....

Eat slowly and savor each bite.

People often eat when they are distracted or distressed. Since we are not eating consciously at these times, the result can be overindulgence. If we eat only when we are hungry, and if we sit down, relax, and focus on our food, we will truly enjoy the eating experience and we can stop the habitual "inhaling" of food. You can enjoy your food, one small bite at a time. Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks (Nehemiah 8:10). As you "enjoy choice food and sweet drinks," you will be surprised how little food it takes to make you feel satisfied. As you eat more slowly, your stomach can accurately signal your brain as to when your physical need for food has been satisfied. TW pg10

This should be a fun and challenging challenge this week:-)

The first thing that comes to mind is that if I am not sitting to eat I am likely not eating slowly, savoring each bite or focusing on the food. I'm likely shoving it in my mouth as fast as I can.

The second thing that comes to mind is that IF I actually ate slowly and savored the food I'd be able to more easily find #5, be focusing on the food and conversation and also be finding which foods are pleasers/teasers/wholebody pleasers or total rejects.

I am looking forward to more consciously applying this key in the upcoming week. I'll let you know how it goes! Anyone else joining me?

Challenge #7 ~ Pay Attention

Time is flying by and this week brings me to another Thin Within key to conscious eating on which to focus. This week's key is:

Pay attention to my food while eating.

During many of your meals you will dine with others. We are enriched both by our interaction with others and by the nourishment and delight provided by the food we eat. We experience maximum satisfaction as we give our full attention to each in turn. How can you apply this key? We suggest that you attempt to establish a rhythm as you eat. Look at your food, take a bite, chew deliberately, and fully experience the flavor. Then set your fork down and focus on your companions, giving them your full attention. Return to focus on your food and continue this back-and-forth process. As you practice this rhythm, you will be able to do this without giving it much thought. Your meals will be more intentional and more enjoyable. TW pg 10

I was just thinking that I often try to do this when I'm in social situations...and somehow don't remember this point when eating regular family dinners. Yet every meal with my family is essentially a "social situation". I think it is time for me to apply this to every meal we share as a family. These are the meals I most often struggle with anyways.

Anyone else have any thoughts, insights, tips in regards to this week's challenge? Anyone else joining me on these weekly challenges? I'd love to hear from you!

Challenge #6 ~ Yum!

Okay, this should be a fun one!

Eat and drink the food and beverages my body enjoys.

Relish this as the opportunity to be authentic. With a thankful spirit and no guilt whatsoever, you can eat and enjoy whatever your heart desires and whatever your body calls for. You are free to be real with yourself and with God. You will discover how trustworthy your body is as you melt down to the size God created you to be. "Can't you see that what you eat won't defile you? Food doesn't come in contact with your heart, but only passes through the stomach and then comes out again." (By saying this, he showed that every kind of food is acceptable.) (Mark 7:18-19, NLT)

Too often, we get caught up in thinking we are "good" or "bad" based on what we eat. Food can't cleanse the heart no matter how little fat or how much fiber it contains. Be liberated and rejoice as you rid yourself of such thoughts and other dieting rules. For
the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17).

There are no forbidden foods. If you have food allergies or a medical condition that would require abstinence from certain foods, by all means heed your doctor's recommendations. But aside from that, enjoy God's wonderful provisions. We might, however, be tempted to take this to an extreme to abuse or misuse food. It's important for us to remember that "Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12). When unsure, ask God what your body needs in order to feel and operate its best. You will then know what will be an
appropriate choice. (TW pg 9-10 )

Thin Within also mentions, later in the book, the concept of teasers, pleasers and whole-body pleasers. I think it is beneficial to keep these terms in mind as well. Actually the words "my body enjoys" seems very reflective of aiming for whole-body pleasers. It's not just about what my tastebuds tell me when eating a food. It's also what the rest of my body tells me. Does the food/beverage make me feel sluggish afterwards? Energized? Sick? etc.

Here's a brief recap of pleasers, teasers and whole body pleasers...

Pleasers: you know you will enjoy, you know that this is a food that will hit the spot and bring physical satisfaction, the sort of food for which you would walk a mile, may change from day to day. (TW pg 186)

Teasers: convenient, easy to get to, call out and tempt you, eaten when our flesh machinerery is in high gear, look better than they taste, "stuffer" or "filler," not very satisfying, make us think "more is better," food wasn't on our mind until we heard about it, saw it or smelled it, all-time classic teaser is what's left of your pleaser when you have reached your comfortable 5 and are satsfied! (TW pg 187)

Whole-Body Pleasers: foods that your body calls out for, are enjoyable while you eat them, and they leave you feeling energized afterward. (TW pg 188)

I love this concept that anything is permissible. It certainly makes it easier to "fit" into any lifestyle or setting. Our family easter brunch doesn't need to set me off track because I know that all things are permissible...within the 0-5 boundaries. When going on vacation I can relax into it and fully enjoy the experience (including new foods), aiming to stay within the boundaries of 0-5 once again.

My body is pretty easy to please I must say! Very few things make my body feel yucky, sluggish etc. Coffee/tea is the biggest thing I try to stay away from because the caffeine keeps me up at night. So, for me the biggest thing to watch for is that a pleaser or whole body pleaser does not become my teaser. This happens when I go outside the 0-5 boundaries. Desserts have become teasers in this sense for me far too often lately. This is where "Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12) comes into effect. I am currently assessing how to make sure that desserts don't master me because I know this would not be pleasing to God.

So, this upcoming week, I'm going to aim to eat yummy stuff that makes my body feel good! And more than that I'm going to aim to eat stuff with my allegiance lined with God, not the food. I don't just want my body to feel satisfied with yummy foods....I want my SOUL to be satisfied with yummy food (His word, time in prayer and spent at His feet)!

My SOUL will be satisfied as with the richest of foods. Psalm 63:5

So I choose to fill my mouth, body and soul with yummy stuff this week:-) Wow, as I write this I can't help but think that my boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places! Thanks, Lord!

Boundaries

What boundaries, with regard to eating, do I feel called to? This is the question I've been pondering a bit more over the past couple days.

First and foremost I definitely feel God calling me to eat within hunger and fullness (#0-#5). This just works for me. I feel comfortable with it. It makes sense to me and resonates with me. The signals that God created my body to send me, telling me when I'm hungry and full just seem so logical to me. If I stay within 0-5 at all times, eating for emotional reasons is kept to a minimum. Of course, staying within those boundaries at all times is another matter...

Another boundary that I have felt impressed on me more frequently of late is that I should be sitting at the table to eat. If I stayed within that boundary a lot of the extra nibbling would be eliminated.

I'm still unsure what kinds of boundaries God is calling me to in regards to sugary treats. One that has worked for me in the past has been to save treats for dinner dessert. None during the day. I'm just not sure if I need to take this a step further. I know in my post on April 1st I was talking about eliminating sugary treats for the month (excluding social occasions). But, in all honesty I haven't been sticking to this. I'm going to seek God on this one a bit more. This definitely presents the biggest challenge for me to stay within the 0-5 boundary. I will certainly need to feel God's conviction and empowerment on this one for me to follow through. This one is a TOUGH one for me!

Boundaries are a wonderful and beautiful thing when lovingly set in place. I know that God has given me many boundary lines, to live within His will, and I know that He has set these boundary lines out of love and care for me. I am blown away by the fact that God really and truly loves me and wants to satisfy me more than anything or anyone else! The following verses are very special to me...

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:24

LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. Psalm 16:6

The Lord is my portion. Those are powerful words. Nothing else will satisfy me like God does. Too often I'm like a whiny child, wanting what I want NOW, when what really is most satisfying and healthy in the long run is extended from the hand of a loving parent.

My boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places. I certainly feel this is true in my life. I am thankful that God has allowed me to experience so many pleasures and joys in my life when staying within His boundaries. Yet how often do I turn a blind eye to these boundary lines? I honestly can often feel the switch turning on or off within me, when I want to step outside the boundary lines and do things my own way. ugh. I need to STOP and be transformed by the rewewing of my mind, taking captive every thought and making it obedient to Christ, BEFORE I step outside these boundaries! Why on earth would I want to step into the muck and mire of sin when God has gifted me with such a pleasant place?

And then moving onto this verse...

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11

In my mind, if I was to envision where I'd like the boundary lines of my life to fall...I can see this vision of fences surrounding His throne. Oh, that is the place to STAY, isn't it!!!! All other things will fall into place when I keep my mind stayed on Him, when I stay in His presence.

Challenge #5 ~ Relax

Eat when my body and mind are RELAXED.

Take a quiet moment to invite the Lord of the wind and waves into your meal. The
one who said, "Peace, be still" is eager for you to enjoy freedom from anxiety at your mealtimes. God wants to free you from worry and to infuse your life with peace. "Do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you sahll drink....Is not life more than food, and the body more important than clothing?...Seek first His kingdom, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you." (Matthew 6:25, 33, NASB) TW pg9

This can be hard to do when facing the many demands of young kids at mealtimes! Cut up their food into bite size pieces, make sure they are sitting properly, make sure they are eating a variety of foods on their plate (and dealing with the many complaints that often come out of kids' mouths in regards to the food in front of them), oops the milk spilled etc. etc. I remember the earlier years were particularily demanding in this regard! I still struggle with relaxing when my 7 year old complains about her food...which happens on a fairly regular basis. I have had to very consciously tell myself to relax and pray at those meals in particular!

I also get distracted from allowing my body and mind to relax when I am in social situations. It takes real effort to make sure I am "present time eating" and allow myself to actually acknowledge what my body is feeling and what my mind is thinking. I certainly experience more victory when I become more aware of my body and mind as it usually leads me to be more intentional and prayerful.

And lastly, another thing that distracts me from this conscious eating key, is when I'm on the run. It's hard to actually relax the mind and body when needing to eat something quickly! For me one way that I've personally experienced victory in situations like this is eating something small, which doesn't take long to eat. Like a piece of fruit or a yogurt. It doesn't take long to eat these food items so I try to relax enough to enjoy them.

The times that I notice myself most consistently following through with this key is for my breakfast and lunch meals. I usually get to eat them on my own, as the kids are off at school, and I savour these times. They often become times where my heart cries out in prayer to the Lord. I LOVE the way Melanie described our mealtimes as an "Appointment with God." Definitely a worthwhile read!

So, here is a quick recap of the Thin Within keys to conscious eating that I've been zoning in on so far....

#1. Eat at "0"
#2. Stopping at "5" (bumped this key#8 up to #2 for now)
#3. Reduce distractions
#4. Sit!
#5. Relax

Anyone else been giving these a try? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Weigh-In Day

I REALLY don't feel like posting this post....but I know this is part of the journey and I won't shie away from being transparent about it.

So yesterday was weigh-in day. I stepped on the scale after staying away from it since February 20th. Oh how quickly I pulled out the club of condemnation as the scale read I’m up another 3 pounds since I last weighed. That means I’m up 10 pounds since September 2008 – from 149 to 159 pounds. Ugh.

All sorts of thoughts swirled through my head. Of course the big one being that I somehow think I NEED the scale to maintain/lose weight… Another thought that ran through my head was “This 0-5 eating doesn’t work to lose weight!” (which I know flat out is a lie, since it HAS "worked" for me and many others!). I rarely go there with my thoughts, but I have to admit I went there yesterday! Then there were the other familiar thoughts: failure, the past repeating itself, defeat. It feels like the story of my past few years. I’d lose weight. Gain it back plus some. Lose weight. Gain it back plus some. And on it went. I don’t want to continue yo-yoing like this. I feel tired of this battle.

Right now, thinking of myself as 159lbs (keeping in mind that this is on my scale...the doctor's scale would probably add another couple pounds to that #....making me well outside my BMI again *sigh*)... Back on topic, thinking of myself as 159 lbs makes me feel very unattractive and fat. I could actually feel the “blobbiness” descend on me like a cloak, immediately after the weigh in. What on earth is up with that?! Prior to stepping on the scale I felt strong, healthy, slim, empowered. Stepping on the scale and seeing this # is certainly a wake-up call. One I perhaps needed. But at the same time, the thought of living in the shadow of this piece of metal’s “judgement” of me just doesn’t appeal to me any longer.

As I reflect on the past month, I have to admit that I absolutely relished the past 1+ months, living free of the scale. Eating 0-5 seemed to flow fairly naturally every single day, at basically every meal. It was a beautiful thing to experience. I kept careful track of my hunger #’s and food eaten. I can see habits changed. I can see heart changes. One of the most beautiful things about tracking this way was that I would sometimes feel the club of condemnation pulled out for slip-ups…but rarely would I feel “fat” or “ugly” or “unattractive” when exclusively using the 0-5 scale. I simply observed, corrected, and saw each slip up as a potential learning experience to grow further surrendered to the Lord.

One of my first responses was thinking that I needed to step on the scale daily once again. Track it. Mark it down. And in all honesty, stepping on the scale daily has a positive aspect. I have no clue if my weight today was a “blip” in a string of on-track weigh-ins…or was it a true reflection of my past month’s struggle/victory steps? I really have no clue. That bugs me. That is probably one of the only positives for a daily weigh-in. I see the fluctuations and don’t get as “thrown” off when I see a higher # occasionally.

My other response, which I believe is a true conviction from the Lord, is to cut out desserts for the next month. I think this is where the real slip-up has happened in the past couple months. The “love” of sugar has its tentacles gripping my heart. And it is time to be set free from that, no longer mastered by anything but Christ. I have noticed that this is definitely the biggest struggle I have with staying on track 0-5. I think my dessert consumption has resulted in me stretching my hunger #’s. The thought of bypassing the dessert after dinner, when I’m at a clear #5, hardly enters my mind. I’m greedy for that sugar. I’m longing for that treat. It’s what I’ve been waiting for all day long. Honestly, that’s the truth. That is the sin hiding away in the secret place of my heart.

I contemplated what it would look like to cut out desserts for the month in conjunction with stepping on the scale daily… And I have to say this is where I have changed. It was like a light bulb went off in my head…or maybe my heart. I don’t want to step near that piece of metal. I don’t want to feel “righteous” if my weight goes down. I don’t want to feel “fat” when my weight goes up. I just want to go with the flow, walking in step with the Spirit. I want to simply focus on obedience and surrender to the Lord.

So, that is where I’m going to track. I feel the Lord calling me to greater obedience, less focus on the # on the scale, more focus on Him. I know it is going to be tough cutting out desserts for the next month (although I will make exceptions in social situations if it is within 0-5 as I generally don’t struggle with moderation in those situations). I know that it is time to move into a “discernment” phase. I have seen very clearly how much of a stronghold sugar has in my life. And I need the Lord to set me free. I need to be able to see that the LORD is my portion. He satisfies…even more then sugar!

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Psalm 119:103

I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread. Job 23:12

God calls me to so much more than simply being consumed with weight and the number on the scale. He wants my heart…ALL OF IT!

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Mark 12:30

And I want Him to have all of me! I have seen how God has used this weight surrender struggle to draw me into a deep and intimate relationship with Him. I have had an insatiable appetite and hunger and thirst for the Lord and his word the past few months, unlike I've ever experienced before. I praise God for that! I don’t simply want to travel this journey to end up self-controlled and disciplined…I want it to be about so much more than that. I want His glory to spill over and out through me with the fruits of the spirit so evident - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

May my life be a fragrant offering to you, my Lord. Mould me. Use me. Change me. Renew me. Transform me more into your image. May I reflect your glory more and more each and every day, and become pure as gold through these tests. Amen.

Challenge #4 ~ Sit!

Well, three weeks have whizzed by! I am finding myself certainly very aware of #0. Being willing to stop at #5 can still be an issue for me. I still have some greedy weeds in the soil of my heart. Reducing distractions was a challenge for me this past week. I'm not sure I entirely succeeded in reducing distractions...but I think that this week's conscious eating key will help me reduce distractions...at least if I sit at the dining room table (or couch as I often do)! Sitting at the computer or TV doesn't quite seem quite as helpful and effective!

So, here is a quick recap of this conscious eating key, as described in the Thin Within Book (on pg 9).

Eating When Sitting Down

Americans are famous for eating on the run, and much of our unconscious or mindless eating is done while driving. If you eat on the run or while standing at the kitchen counter, you aren't fully focused on the food or enjoying present-time eating. When this happens, you may hear yourself saying, "I haven't had a thing to eat all day."

We will encourage you throughout these thirty days to remain in the present moment and to relish it for hte pleasure it brings. If you sit down and take time to focus on giving your body the fuel it needs, your mind will record the fact that you have eaten. Often, in our hurry-on-the-go lifestyles, we charge ahead and our hearts and minds feel as if they haven't been refreshed. [And then he said,] "Refresh yourself with something to eat; then you can go." So the two of them sat down to eat and drink together (Judges 19:5-6).

I tend to do a lot of snacking at the counter during dinner preparations, grabbing a little bite of this or that. I'm going to try to stop this habit. I am going to make it my goal to ensure each and every bite that goes into my mouth is done while sitting (preferably at the dining room table). Anyone else joining me? Anyone else have any thoughts or feedback?

Challenge #3 - Reduce Distractions

Okay, now I'm onto this key to conscious eating, after backing up last week! I'm continuing to focus on #0 (hunger) and #5 (satisfaction), the most foundational basic building blocks of intuitive conscious TW eating. Now I'm adding "reducing distractions" which should actually help me be more aware of my #5!

Here is what I originally posted last week and then backtracked on....

Reduce the number of distractions in order to eat in a calm environment.

There is a delightful experience that awaits you at each meal. However, if you are like most of us, your mealtimes are often chaotic instead of calm. A chaotic environment produces chaotic eating. Ponder relishing a quiet meal, where you can be still, and know that [He is] God (Psalm 46:10) when you eat. You will discover that eating really can be a more satisfying experience. Allow yourself the pleasure of being focused on your food. At Thin Within, we call this eating in "present time." If your mind is elsewhere or if you are distracted, you are less likely to enjoy your food. You will also find yourself going back for "seconds" because you were not fully present the first time around. The Lord wants us to experience both His provisions nd His peace. Mealtimes can be an opportunity to turn off the TV or disruptive music, and put aside your reading. In the process, we can then praise Him for the sight, the smell, and the taste of each bite of food. (TW pg 8)

I think this can be a particular challenge for parents of preschool children, especially if you are a SAHM and every meal is eaten together. "Chaos" is just part of the equation with young kids it seems. Well, maybe not chaos, but mealtimes are certainly not all that calm and unrushed generally speaking for most people I bet. Food battles, spilled milk, help cutting food etc. etc. are typical for the preschool years....and even into the elementary years at times, as I can attest!

I can actually enjoy my breakfast and lunch in a completely calm environment (if I prioritize this) now that my kids are in school full time. I usually relish the calm of these meals. Supper is usually a lot less calm as the whole family gathers around the table. But I wouldn't want to reduce the distraction of my dear family!!! This is part of creating a connected, happy, loving family environment. However, I can tell the difference in myself when I am NOT present and enjoying each bite due to the action around the table VERSUS when I embrace each mouthful, thanking God quickly for each bite, getting into a rhythm of enjoying the conversations and disruptions all the while fully enjoying my food. THIS rhythm is what I am aiming for....since I can't cut out the "chaos" of a family mealtime! LOL

Being truly present for each eating experience IS a daily challenge for me. I know I need to continue aiming to be in the moment, present, not forgetting to enjoying all the senses that God has given me to enjoy! Giving constant thanks to the Lord for His provisions.

Here is what I posted this afternoon to my daily accountability group:

Here is a "heads up" for myself with regards to the following distractions...

1. TV
I need to make sure I don't equate relaxing in the evening while watching a show WITH eating. I think I've began to slide into that a little bit lately. I like to watch TV and munch. I haven't struggled with that too much through the years, but have noticed this urge in myself recently.

2. Standing vs. sitting while eating
I know that "sitting" is another key that we will unpack later. "Standing" and eating is often a distraction for me. I need to remember to sit at the table (or on the couch works for me too) while eating. I just tend to not be distracted by other activities then. For example, if I'm prepping dinner, munching while standing at the counter - I'm being distracted from eating in truly present time, by the work I'm doing in the kitchen.

3. Computer
Sometimes I eat while at the computer. I need to ensure I, at the very least, get into a rhythm with focussing on the food when I take a bite, rather then on the computer screen.

4. Kids
Yes, the kids can really distract me from focus on food as noted before. But they are a blessing and I wouldn't want it any other way. I just need to make sure I balance it, once again like a rhythm between conversation and eating, not letting my mind and body go into auto pilot! I need to make EVERY SECOND "present time."

Anyone else have any thoughts? What are common "distractions" that you deal with on a regular basis? Kids? TV? Reading while eating? Just letting your thoughts run away and not in the present moment? Eating on the run, in the car, in a hurry? What are you going to have a "heads up" about in the upcoming week? Are there any mindless activities you do you do while eating....which in turn distract you from tasting, seeing, smelling the food, being in communion with the Lord and sensing when your body is reaching satisfaction while eating? Any boundaries you feel called to set up this upcoming week to push you to reduce distractions? Any other plans of action?

Let's be intentional and seek the Lord on this! Let's keep our focus FIXED and STAYED on the Lord!

Challenge #2 - Stopping at #5

Okay, I'm switching gears a little. I'll make my last post, about reducing distractions, challenge #3 for NEXT WEEK. Since eating at #0 and stopping at #5 are really the most basic building blocks of the TW approach, it seems appropriate to make TW conscious eating key#8 our second challenge. So here are some excerpts from the TW book in regards to stopping at #5.

Stop before my body is "full."

In other words, stop at a place of comfort before your body is "full" or "stuffed." Many particpants find this problematic to apply. They may develop an awareness of what physical hunger feels like, but then, once they begin to eat, they roll right on past the appropriate stopping point. Twenty minutes later, they are surprised to find themselves needing to unbutton their pants or become horizontal in order to be "comfortable." However, once they take the time to slow down and to savor their food, stopping at a place of comfort isn't quite as challenging. If you feel "full," or "stuffed" when you stop eating, your stomach is being stretched and you have actually eaten more than your body needs. If you are tempted to eat beyond a "comfortable" point, remind yourself that no temptation is beyond His reach. God is fathful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a weay out so that you can stand up under it (1 Cor. 10:13). TW pg 10-11

I definitely find it challenging to stop at #5. I think it may be time to look at bit more closely at what I consider a #5 and possibly re-adjust my hunger #'s again. Here are some of my other posts on this very topic...

http://godsrainbowpromises.blogspot.com/2008/05/eating-0-5.html
http://godsrainbowpromises.blogspot.com/2008/09/5-wake-up-call.html

So, anyone else have any thoughts on stopping at #5? Anyone else joining me?! I'd love to hear from you!

Challenge #1 - Eating at "0"

My daily accountability group is doing a week by week challenge covering the eight keys to conscious eating that are unpacked in the Thin Within book. I know that others were doing similar challenges over the past few months at the TW forums and also Heidi highlighted each of the keys on her blog.

What does "0" feel like for me?
"0" or physiological hunger feels like an ache in my belly. I can usually feel it approaching. And then after the ache my stomach usually starts to audibly rumble. Sometimes there is no rumble, but usually the ache. I can tell the difference between hunger and digestion gurgling sounds because first, I know if it is shortly after eating it is clearly digestion, and secondly, the rumbling is a different sort of sound, a lot more urgent sounding (!) and accompanied by that ache. What does hunger feel like for you?

Do I usually eat at "0"?
This is a real challenge for me. I like to make this my aim though I struggle on a daily basis with being consistent. It's amazing how easy it is to slide out of the "routine" of eating at "0." When I'm in the "eating at '0' mode" then it's almost like a rhythm that I'm part of. When I'm out of the routine...well then it's like I'm just completely out of time and out of tune with my body's needs and signals.

I embrace hunger!
I think it is one of the neatest "shadows" of Scriptural truth. We all need food to survive physically. Without food we are weak, malnourished, dying. Physical hunger reminds me that I not only need physical food...but I also need SPIRITUAL food. Without filling up on the Lord, feasting at His table in His word and prayer, abiding and remaining with Him and in step with Him, I am spiritually weak, malnourished and dying. (I just felt that the last day or two as I was seriously lacking a good meal at His table as the busyness of life caught up with me!)

As I authentically open wide my mouth (spiritually speaking) and fill up on the Lord I believe He begins to increase in my life and I begin to decrease. And as I begin to decrease my heart's desire and prayer is that my greed for food and my running to food when I'm NOT at "0" (physically hungry) will also begin to diminish and decrease as well.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Anyone else care to join us in this weekly challenge? We're moving onto Key#2 (Eat in a calm environment by reducing distractions) on Sunday.

The Value of Observations & Corrections

I was just glancing over my food & exercise log from the past year...and I noticed I made A LOT of observations (and noted corrections)... (I clearly NEEDED to given that I went off course so often with 0-5 eating!!!) It was really interesting to quickly glance over this log. I'm glad I documented that portion of my journey. It was a good reminder to myself that I need to ensure I continue to do this on a regular basis, really zoning in on observations/corrections and being transformed by the renewing of my mind by feasting at the Lord's table.

I can see that my whole approach towards eating is so different then it used to be. I am much more intentional and really see the value in planning ahead for challenges I may face with staying in the pleasant God-given 0-5 boundaries (though I far too often fail to pre-plan...notice I said "see the value"...which means I need to apply it more often!).

I also am much more aware of God's continued extension of grace, no matter how many times I "mess up." And I'm also aware that He wants to equip me and fill me up as I turn to Him to satisfy me and supply my needs.

Does this mean I stick 100% with 0-5 eating? Absolutely not! I struggle so much with staying on course, as my accountability buddies well know! But I'm keeping on keeping on! I'm not giving up!

My friend Lundie wrote something so profound to me yesterday which I think is worth passing on to you. In regards to me noting my own attitude of "I've already messed up. So why try to stop? I may as well get what I want now.".... here is the brilliant image Lundie wrote...

I am going to try to think of it in terms as a course correction instead. When I'm driving, and I cross a little too far into the other lane, do I think, "Well! I'm in the wrong lane, I might as well go all the way and drive on the other side of the road!!!". LOL! Nope, I just turn the wheel back and let my car drift back into the right lane.

As I type this out, it gives me a lot of hope that the changes I have experienced this past year will "stick." I have had my share of fears that I will slide back to where I was prior to digging into the TW book over a year ago... But I know God has done a new thing in my heart and my life. Praise God!!!! I continue pressing on, observing and correcting, confessing and repenting to the Lord, seeking to surrender to Him fully! For He has given me hope and future and He continues renewing my strength, being my Hope, helping me run and not grow weary, helping me walk and not grow faint.

Thank you Abba Father, Daddy. I run to You. I long for my soul to always CLING to You. I pray Your right hand would uphold me even in the midst of temptation. Amen.

Unique Approach to Chewing Food!

Eating 0-5 can be a real challenge. I can be particularily difficult to always follow each of the keys to conscious eating, aiming to make it essentially the "first meal of the rest of your life" each and every time!

Here's a quick recap of the keys to conscious eating:

• 1. Eat when my body is hungry ("0").
• 2. Eat in a calm environment by reducing distractions.
• 3. Eat when sitting.
• 4. Eat when my body and mind are relaxed.
• 5. Eat and drink the things my body enjoys.
• 6. Pay attention to my food while eating.
• 7. Eat slowly, savoring each bite.
• 8. Stop before my body is full ("5").

The other day at the Thin Within forums an old thread re-surfaced: Any tips on eating slowly?

There was some really useful and interesting stuff posted there. But the post that really grabbed my attention was posted by Lizzy Joy here. She talked about how she finds it helpful to chew to memory verses or to music! I thought that was very unique!

So, I have given it a try this week a few times. The first time I tried chewing in time to memory verses (saying them in my head). That was tough since I say it kind of fast in my head, so I'd end up chewing too fast I found. Of course if I said the verses in my head very meditatively and slowly, reflecting on each word, the pace for chewing may be a little more manageable!

Then I tried chewing to my prayers, basically constant gratitude to the Lord for every bite and for His provisions, chewing in time to each word. That was very beneficial I found.

I also tried chewing to music... I don't think I found the right song yet for that to really work!

In each of the attempts I have found my attention drawn more fully to the Lord and gratitude for His provisions. This is a wonderful thing! I have found eating a much more meditative process.

So, I just thought I'd share these little tidbits with you as I thought they were quite a unique way of approaching chewing food:-) Therefore, even while (or especially while!) eating I cry to the Lord...

Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long. Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, for they are ever with me. Psalm 119:97-98

Filling Up on God

I feel like I've almost fallen off the "blog" wagon:-) It's not like me to miss so many days without posting something of substance! I was almost at the point of shutting down my blog entirely as I felt like such a hypocrite, fool and failure as I continue to struggle with 0-5 eating.

Yet I know that this is part of the journey. And I accept that. And am moving past that one step at a time. The last few days have been going better, for which I'm thankful.

I was going to re-start one of my weight-related books (TW or TLT or Thin Again) but then I felt like God was saying.... "No, just focus on My Word and fill up on Me!" So I'm listening. I'm earnestly seeking Him (Ps. 63:1-2). I'm not going to let the enemy get to me with lies and discouragement.

I've been enjoying such quality time with God lately. I can't begin to say how much that means to me. And I've been memorizing scripture like crazy (like I mentioned in a previous post). It really feels like a MIRACLE to WANT to memorize scripture! I've never experienced the compulsion to memorize like I have lately. I truly don't want that to stop. And the neatest part of all is that these scriptures are beginning to become part of my prayers! This is also very special to me. So, I am thankful for this part of my journey right now. I'm truly finding satisfaction in God and His Word and intimacy with Him.

But oh, what ups and downs with consistent 0-5 eating! I decided the one thing I wanted to keep up was my private paper notebook food/exercise log. This way I can look back on how things are going and see what kinds of patterns are forming and how consistent I am with 0-5 eating etc. So here are my "statistics" (or patterns) for my January eating...

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23% of the time I ate within 0-5 the ENTIRE day, each and every eating occasion (7/30 days).

33% entire days I started at "0" (that is 10/30 days each eating occasion started at "0").

65% eating occasions were within 0-5 (62/96 eating occasions).

75% eating occasions I started at "0" (75/96).

11/30 days I exercised (that is 37%).

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Those may seem like irrelevant statistics! But they mean something to me. I can see so much room for growth!!!

I'm so afraid of returning to the defeated place I was for those 5 years (2002-2007). I long to be victorious and keep my eyes fixed on Him.

One of my ideas for goal setting is:
Aim for one full day of 0-5 eating (did that on Monday). Next, aim for two full days of 0-5 eating (did that on Tuesday and hopefully can say that by the end of today). Next aim for three full days of 0-5 eating. And continue building up the number of consistent days. And re-start each and every time I go off track. I just really need to build consistency into my eating. We'll see if that motivates me and helps me...

I've been seeing commercials lately and hearing people talk about how if they aren't physically hungry they aren't tempted to eat. There was a "Special K Satisfaction"cereal commercial where this lady had eaten her cereal for breakfast and when she was offered the donuts at the office she said "No thank you, I'm not hungry."

I thought to myself, "Am I the only one who is still tempted to eat stuff even when I'm not hungry?" I honestly don't know if I'm in the minority here! If something is tempting me, it really and truly matters very little to me if I'm hungry or not... I'm very weak and could easily dig right in. That is my flesh that quickly can swing into action. It takes an immense amount of self-control and God-focus for me to actually withstand the temptation. It doesn't yet feel natural to me. Once again, I have to wonder if I'm in the minority with this!

I've been challenged over the past few days to take a few of the lessons from this Fall/Winter a step further. As those who have been journeying alongside me know, one of the big themes I've been challenged by is "What lines the walls of my mind?" In other words, what kinds of thoughts/beliefs do I have? Are these thoughts lined up with God's Word, His truth? Next, I must take these thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).

Well, this past week, as I was studying "Living beyond yourself" by Beth Moore, I bumped into the verse, "But we have the mind of Christ." (1 Cor. 2:16) That's a revolutionary thought (make that TRUTH), don't you think!

What would Christ's mind look like? First of all NOTHING sinful would enter it! Secondly, He is ALL truth, perfect, righteous, holy and completely surrendered to the Father...and is in fact God! In other words, His thoughts and actions are PERFECT and HOLY.

So, if I have the mind of Christ....that means my mind should begin to look the same (though I know this will never be fully the case until I reach Heaven)! So when I start to apply taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ, essentially filtering out thoughts that don't line up with God's Word, then I begin to see a very specific picture painted of what my mind should look like...the mind of Christ. Imitate. Be like Jesus. Fix my eyes on Him.

Anyways, all this rambling is to say, that I'm feeling challenged IN ALL AREAS (not just eating related) to put on the mind of Christ, taking every thought captive to Him.

And my first step is to focus in on what God's Word and truth is...filling up on it every chance I get! I'm not giving up! God is doing a good work in me and will bring it to completion (Phil 1:6)! The God of all-grace is equipping me to abound in every good work (2 Cor. 9:8). I am being transformed into His likeness each and every day (2 Cor. 3:18). Praise God for that!

Dear Lord, O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. (Psalm 63:1-8) In Jesus name, Amen.

Legalism vs Freedom

My surrender journey took a more intense turn about one year ago, starting February 3rd 2008. I was 172 lbs one year ago and now am 153-155lbs. Prasie God for that miracle! Looking back I wanted to share one thing that has changed in the past 6 months in particular.

I was first introduced to hunger/fullness eating in 1998 through Weigh Down. As I remember the few years from 1998-2001, when I was more on track with hunger/fullness eating, I can see that legalism was completely holding me captive. I may have lost 50 lbs, but I was living in a prison of my own making.

My typical menu:
Breakfast: I'd start off the day with a small bowl of cereal or a yogurt and fruit (both healthy and delicious choices, clearly). I didn't go off course with these "safe" choices, because then I wouldn't "know" when I'd be hungry next...
Lunch: I'd usually have a piece of toast with cheese and a piece of fruit or I'd have another bowl of cereal with bananas and raisins. I'd very very very very rarely go off of those menu items.
Supper: Everything was up for grabs because I didn't have to worry about timing as much. I was not very conscious of what it felt like to stop at satisfaction.

I knew an apple would take me an hour to digest. A bowl of cereal would take 3 hours. etc. I was bound to a whole new "diet"! I feared trying new things because I didn't want any guess work with regards to when I'd be hungry. I dreaded going out with friends and encountering "different" choices.

This approach towards "timing" foods is still necessary at times I must admit. It helps with pre-planning, particularily when I want to be hungry for a special meal etc. However, it also can become a hinderance as I really wasn't FREE!

Since Summer '08 I feel there has been a marked difference in my approach towards eating. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my kids are in school full time so I have more flexibility with my eating? I feel a degree of *relaxing* into hunger/fullness eating. I have experimented more with what I like and don't like, what I'm craving etc. It's been good.

Of course this has also come at a cost as I have struggled to be consistent with 0-5 eating. It's tough to patiently wait for hunger when Idon't know how long I'll have to wait! Regardless, it has taught me many lessons...

I have learned not to actually focus on the food as much. That may seem strange because all of a sudden my menu options have expanded (though I do go in spurts with certain foods day after day...yet I'm not afraid to try new things now)! Somehow being free to choose has helped me focus on the present more. Hmmm...as I write this it seems a strange paradox!

Somehow being free to choose WHAT I eat has freed me to NOT think about food as much! And in the process my focus has shifted away from "controlling" my eating to focussing on feasting on God's word and on Him and leaning on Him.

So, despite the weight fluctuation in the past couple months I can truly say God has His hand in this, doing a "good work" in me. I can see some rhyme and reason to the past few months :-)

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:31-33

Seek first his kingdom... Somehow true freedom and satisfaction is found when we seek God. I guess that makes sense since this is the way God "wired us" and made us. We were made to glorify Him and seek Him. Nothing else will click with us like that! When I seek to control my life~my eating, my finances, my friendships, my family, my work, my schedule....my focus often veers far from God's purposes and will and His best.

How the day went...

Yesterday went okay... I actually ended up being quite stressed for a large part of the day because my older daughter was really testing me! Grrr.... Oh well, it was still a good day. It's just hard to see her growing up and not my "little" girl anymore:-( And I really have to learn to display the fruits of the spirit to her~love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

So in regards to eating, here's how it went.

Breakfast: As I said, I was hungry (though not rumbly) for breakfast and had a moderate amount of food, staying within 0-5.

Lunch: I was actually rumbly hungry, which was a surprise for me:-) I wish, in hindsight, that I'd eaten a little lighter of a lunch. I ended up eating just one small piece of bread, a cheese string and some veggie/fruit juice...staying within 0-5 once again. Doesn't seem like a lot, but that seemed to tide me over right until supper.

Supper: I didn't have rumbly hunger, but was beginning to feel hunger. I thoroughly enjoyed the meal at my parent's place and enjoyed the conversation and visit. My mom always spoils me on my birthday! She's pretty special:-) I took a very small sliver of cake (which stunned my mom!) as I wanted to have some room for treats later.

Then Jon and I went to DQ and I had a blizzard which I thoroughly enjoyed and then we went and rented a movie (Becoming Jane) and snuggled, with some popcorn in hand, to watch the movie. (We were originally going to go to the movie theater but then the timing was just off...so we opted for a movie at home.)

I was pushing it with regards to 0-5 in many ways, because my evening eating was over such an extended time. I would say I ate to about a #6, just a bit past hunger being satisfied.

So, that's how things went at this end:-) Now I'm officially another year older! I'm very thankful for the past year and all the ways the Lord has grown me. And I truly look forward to what He has in store for the upcoming year! For...

"He who began a good work in you (me) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6

I'm still HIS work in progress! I'm thankful for His faithfulness, patience and mercy despite all my setbacks and failings!

Thanks, Lord!

Ironic Timing!

Last night, as I lay in bed, it hit me that my last post was posted with quite ironic timing! I wondered why on earth I decided to post about "excuses" when it was my birthday the very next day! I was looking forward to "treats" no matter how far outside of 0-5 boundaries they were! Now that is ironic and willfully rebellious, isn't it?! And I groaned (yes, groaned...and had a grumbly attitude!) because I knew I'd have to be accountable HERE for my choices! I have to laugh aloud at the irony of that! God must have been speaking to me last night for a reason:-)

Anyways, I will rest and lean on Jesus today. I will aim for Him to increase and for me to decrease. And I will make it my aim to joyfully and gladly try to stay within 0-5 boundaries :-) And I WILL give account for my choices today:-)

So, here is my action plan as I pre-plan for the challenges that lay ahead for the day...

Breakfast - I was hungry and enjoyed a pancake breakfast. Thanks, Lord!

Lunch - I don't think I'll be hungry for lunch after the larger breakfast....though maybe I'll be surprised:-) If I am hungry I will aim for something really light, maybe even just some juice, to ensure I'm hungry for supper.

Supper - It's dinner at my parent's place. One thing I'm prepared for is some birthday dessert there and then Jon and I have already planned to go out for DQ blizzards (at my request)... That's quite a lot of sweets potentially.... Anyways, I'll aim to savour and enjoy and eat minimal amount at supper (main course and dessert)...yet ENJOY each and EVERY SINGLE bite to the fullest as my mother is cooking a special dinner and dessert for me, bless her:-) I'll aim to drink lots of water and put my fork down between bites and focus on wonderful family times and conversation. After that Jon and I will go out for blizzards and a movie and I'll savour that as well, stopping by a #5.

I gotta end this post with a favorite scripture I memorized in the past week and which I have been praying over my kids...and would like to pray over every one of YOU, my blog readers today!

[May] The Lord bless you and keep you.
[May] The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.
[May] The Lord turn to you and give you peace.
(Numbers 7:24-26)
AMEN!

Excuses

I have been feeling a little discouraged lately with regards to my eating. I often want to make excuses....

• It's hard around my birthday and valentines day.
• It's hard around halloween.
• It's hard around christmas.
• It's hard during summer vacation and travelling.

Oh the list could go on and on and on, couldn't it!!! It's never easy! It's hard to stay within 0-5 eating boudaries, especially for a full day! But oh so rewarding when we persevere!

I've been struggling, in particular since halloween I'd say. It felt like a slippery slope that I just kept sliding and sliding down and down and down into the muck and mire!

Today didn't start off fabulous in regards to eating. In fact I felt on the greedy side as I took a second scone at our ladies bible study meeting. I had missed breakfast as I knew my friend was bringing these scones especially as a treat to celebrate my bday.... Yet another excuse, isn't it! I didn't eat past #5, but know that I could easily have been content and satisfied with simply one.

However midafternoon I felt wonderfully hungry! Yes, WONDERFULLY hungry! I love that feeling...at least when I know that it is within my "control" to eat something! I probably wouldn't like or relish that feeling if I had been deprived of food. But for me hunger is getting in tune with my body's needs.

I was on the phone with a friend, so I postponed eating for about an hour. Then I wasn't sure when to eat...wait for supper or have a little snack???

I decided to spend some time feeding on God's word and praying first. Now, that was a step in the right direction for me. Praise God!!! He certainly met me there. Oh how I long to do that more often!

Then I moved into eating an early supper. I relished and savoured that meal. Thanks, Lord!

So, why on earth do I CONSTANTLY make excuses??? It drives me nuts!! Imagine how God feels...

I guess, if I look at it from the perspective of dying to self I can say that DEATH IS PAINFUL. It hurts to cut lose all the sinful habits that I cling to. Yet I cling to the truth that Christ lives in me. He doesn't leave me to wallow in the pain of death...but rather brings me life, hope and future!

For...."I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

So I fix my eyes and continue to focus on the Lord with the desire for more of Him and less of me... I long to delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on it day and night. I desire to be a tree of righteousness, planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. (Ps. 1:1-3) And I continue taking one step at a time...

I will remember the truth that the ONE who lives inside of me is GREATER than the one who is in this world (1 John 4:4)

I'M NOT GIVING UP!

For I know that God hasn't given up on me!

Thanks, Lord!