Weigh-In Day

I REALLY don't feel like posting this post....but I know this is part of the journey and I won't shie away from being transparent about it.

So yesterday was weigh-in day. I stepped on the scale after staying away from it since February 20th. Oh how quickly I pulled out the club of condemnation as the scale read I’m up another 3 pounds since I last weighed. That means I’m up 10 pounds since September 2008 – from 149 to 159 pounds. Ugh.

All sorts of thoughts swirled through my head. Of course the big one being that I somehow think I NEED the scale to maintain/lose weight… Another thought that ran through my head was “This 0-5 eating doesn’t work to lose weight!” (which I know flat out is a lie, since it HAS "worked" for me and many others!). I rarely go there with my thoughts, but I have to admit I went there yesterday! Then there were the other familiar thoughts: failure, the past repeating itself, defeat. It feels like the story of my past few years. I’d lose weight. Gain it back plus some. Lose weight. Gain it back plus some. And on it went. I don’t want to continue yo-yoing like this. I feel tired of this battle.

Right now, thinking of myself as 159lbs (keeping in mind that this is on my scale...the doctor's scale would probably add another couple pounds to that #....making me well outside my BMI again *sigh*)... Back on topic, thinking of myself as 159 lbs makes me feel very unattractive and fat. I could actually feel the “blobbiness” descend on me like a cloak, immediately after the weigh in. What on earth is up with that?! Prior to stepping on the scale I felt strong, healthy, slim, empowered. Stepping on the scale and seeing this # is certainly a wake-up call. One I perhaps needed. But at the same time, the thought of living in the shadow of this piece of metal’s “judgement” of me just doesn’t appeal to me any longer.

As I reflect on the past month, I have to admit that I absolutely relished the past 1+ months, living free of the scale. Eating 0-5 seemed to flow fairly naturally every single day, at basically every meal. It was a beautiful thing to experience. I kept careful track of my hunger #’s and food eaten. I can see habits changed. I can see heart changes. One of the most beautiful things about tracking this way was that I would sometimes feel the club of condemnation pulled out for slip-ups…but rarely would I feel “fat” or “ugly” or “unattractive” when exclusively using the 0-5 scale. I simply observed, corrected, and saw each slip up as a potential learning experience to grow further surrendered to the Lord.

One of my first responses was thinking that I needed to step on the scale daily once again. Track it. Mark it down. And in all honesty, stepping on the scale daily has a positive aspect. I have no clue if my weight today was a “blip” in a string of on-track weigh-ins…or was it a true reflection of my past month’s struggle/victory steps? I really have no clue. That bugs me. That is probably one of the only positives for a daily weigh-in. I see the fluctuations and don’t get as “thrown” off when I see a higher # occasionally.

My other response, which I believe is a true conviction from the Lord, is to cut out desserts for the next month. I think this is where the real slip-up has happened in the past couple months. The “love” of sugar has its tentacles gripping my heart. And it is time to be set free from that, no longer mastered by anything but Christ. I have noticed that this is definitely the biggest struggle I have with staying on track 0-5. I think my dessert consumption has resulted in me stretching my hunger #’s. The thought of bypassing the dessert after dinner, when I’m at a clear #5, hardly enters my mind. I’m greedy for that sugar. I’m longing for that treat. It’s what I’ve been waiting for all day long. Honestly, that’s the truth. That is the sin hiding away in the secret place of my heart.

I contemplated what it would look like to cut out desserts for the month in conjunction with stepping on the scale daily… And I have to say this is where I have changed. It was like a light bulb went off in my head…or maybe my heart. I don’t want to step near that piece of metal. I don’t want to feel “righteous” if my weight goes down. I don’t want to feel “fat” when my weight goes up. I just want to go with the flow, walking in step with the Spirit. I want to simply focus on obedience and surrender to the Lord.

So, that is where I’m going to track. I feel the Lord calling me to greater obedience, less focus on the # on the scale, more focus on Him. I know it is going to be tough cutting out desserts for the next month (although I will make exceptions in social situations if it is within 0-5 as I generally don’t struggle with moderation in those situations). I know that it is time to move into a “discernment” phase. I have seen very clearly how much of a stronghold sugar has in my life. And I need the Lord to set me free. I need to be able to see that the LORD is my portion. He satisfies…even more then sugar!

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Psalm 119:103

I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread. Job 23:12

God calls me to so much more than simply being consumed with weight and the number on the scale. He wants my heart…ALL OF IT!

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Mark 12:30

And I want Him to have all of me! I have seen how God has used this weight surrender struggle to draw me into a deep and intimate relationship with Him. I have had an insatiable appetite and hunger and thirst for the Lord and his word the past few months, unlike I've ever experienced before. I praise God for that! I don’t simply want to travel this journey to end up self-controlled and disciplined…I want it to be about so much more than that. I want His glory to spill over and out through me with the fruits of the spirit so evident - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

May my life be a fragrant offering to you, my Lord. Mould me. Use me. Change me. Renew me. Transform me more into your image. May I reflect your glory more and more each and every day, and become pure as gold through these tests. Amen.

Reflect

In Living Beyond Yourself, Beth Moore writes,

Gold is not "finished" until it reaches a point of perfect luster. The chief objective of the refiner is to bring the gold to a point of greatest reflection. The gold is not as costly for its own sake as it is for the sake of that which it reflects. It is the light which exposes its qualities. LBD pg 116

She unpacked a few scriptures which God really spoke to my heart through, a few of which I will pinpoint below.

"But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside. I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread. " Job 23:8-12

"He has tested me and I will come forth as GOLD." Those are Job's words after losing his children, his servants, his livestock, his wealth, his physical health.

"I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread." Wow! That's powerful! Job certainly glorified God in the trials of life. (On a side note this verse has REALLY spoken to me in regards to weight surrender issues... Treasuring God's word is KEY!)

"And we, who with unveiled faces all REFLECT the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18

We are called to REFLECT God's glory. And the neat thing is we have "unveiled" faces. Through Jesus' death on the cross the veil has been removed. We can approach the throne of grace with confidence (Hebrews 4:16). That's an amazing truth!

Exodus 34:29-35 describes how Moses had such a radiant face after being in the Lord's presence that he would actually have to put a veil over his face! We are being granted the same privilege! We get to be in God's very presence, with unveiled faces it says in 2 Cor. 3:18. As we spend time fixing our eyes on Him, keeping our mind stayed on Him, simply sitting at His feet and feasting at His table, presenting our prayers and petitions with thanksgiving to Him...we are in the very PRESENCE of God! And we can't help but be TRANSFORMED when we remain in His presence! And we will certainly REFLECT His glory!

As I type this up, I'm being reminded of my favorite childhood verse (I still don't know why this one resonated with me throughout those early years)...

"Those who look to him are RADIANT; their faces are never covered with shame." Psalm 34:5

When I come into His presence I can't help but be purified of sin. I don't think I could come into His presence with a truly rebellious heart. As I come humbly, in prayer, seeking His face and turning from my wicked ways, He hears my prayer, he forgives my sin and heals (2 Chron. 7:14) ...and my face is no longer covered with shame because He has forgiven me!

My main struggles in life are the "mundane" aspects. I simply need sinful impurities to be removed from my heart - my impatience with my kids, my lack of selflessness with my husband, my laziness, my lack of time in prayer, my lack of self-discipline with eating/exercise which happens time and again, my lack of focussing on things from above, my forgetting to be thankful and prayerful, having a loose tongue at times.... I want to STAY in His presence and have these impurities melted away. I want to come forth like gold, REFLECTING His glory!

So, I choose to fix my eyes on Him. I choose to keep my mind stayed on Him. I lay my requests before Him and wait in expectation. I passionately persist...

So that I may REFLECT!

God's Perfect Peace

I was watching the news this morning and an author was interviewed who had wrote a book about decision making. The point pondered was whether we should make decisions based on emotion or logic. And the answer is it needs to be a combination.

This flowed interestingly into what God has been speaking to me about the past few days in regards to my mind, my heart and God's perfect peace.

I've been feeling a bit caught up in the busyness of life. I have been longing to get my thoughts sorted out and processed. Putting posts together on my blog is one way of processing everything. I've been itching to get here to post! So this is a big treat for me right now!

As I think about the way my anxieties plague me, how my to-do list grows, how I sweat the small stuff, I plead for God's perfect peace. Oh how my emotions (heart) and logic (mind) can get all mixed up and upside down sometimes! I wanted to just quiet my soul and rest at His feet. A verse that has been really sticking with me lately and resonating is Isaiah 26:3.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. (NIV)

This is a powerful verse. It reminds me that I can experience God's perfect peace in my heart even in the midst of tumultuous experiences if my mind is focussed on the Lord. I asked myself what it means to have a mind that is steadfast. And the King James Version of this verse shed a little light on what that means.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is STAYED on thee: because he trusteth in thee. (KJV)

A steadfast mind is a mind that is STAYED on the Lord. Focussed on Him. Fixed on Him. Trusting the Lord. As I began to do a quick search on verses that speak of the mind, I was reminded of one of my favorite verses lately...

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2

Transformed by the renewing of my mind. How do we do that? is my next logical question.

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Col. 3:2

"I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Jeremiah 31:33

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' Matthew 22:37

I think the root of renewal and steadfastness of mind can be summed up in this verse:

But we have the mind of Christ. 1 Cor. 2:16

As I approach the throne of grace with confidence in the the blood of Jesus poured out for my sins (Heb. 4:16), and as I set my focus on things above (Col. 3:2), seeking to love God with all that is in me (Matt. 22:37) and get to know him through his law, the bible (Jer. 31:33)...then I have the mind of Christ and I begin to be transformed and renewed.

So what difference does this make to the state of my heart or my emotions? Well, if my mind is STAYED on the Lord, trusting Him, steadfast...then He renews me and transforms me and also begins to pour out His perfect peace in my heart. It begins to spill over.

I couldn't help but think about this familiar passage:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-9

This is getting down the nitty gritty of experiencing God's perfect peace. I hadn't really zoned in on the word "mind" before in verse 7 where it says: And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Hmmm.... Very interesting! And the main message of the whole passage is all about keeping our focus STAYED on Him and our mind being steadfastly fixed on thankfulness and prayer and excellent and praiseworthy things from above. And even greater then that the promise that the Lord is NEAR! Oh to be in His presence!!! (and to not forget that no matter what we're feeling!) God's perfect peace flows out of all that.

I know this is a very quick and incomplete look into these verses. Yet God has been stirring a longing for His peace within me. And I began to connect some dots in the past few days! I see how it is connected to my state of mind. Beliefs, what fills my mind, keeping God's truth foremost has been a big part of my growth in the past year. I realize the importance of ensuring my mind is fixed fully on the Lord, not allowing any lies from Satan to permeate my mind, not allowing my focus to shift away from the Lord's perfect and pleasing will... I must keep my mind steadfastly stayed on Him alone and I WILL experience His perfect peace.

Thank you for your perfect peace, Lord. (Is. 26:3) My soul clings to You. Your right hand upholds me. (Psalm 63:8) I lay my requests before You and wait in expectation. (Psalm 5:3) Your name and renown is the desire of my heart. (Isaiah 26:8)

Filling Up on God

I feel like I've almost fallen off the "blog" wagon:-) It's not like me to miss so many days without posting something of substance! I was almost at the point of shutting down my blog entirely as I felt like such a hypocrite, fool and failure as I continue to struggle with 0-5 eating.

Yet I know that this is part of the journey. And I accept that. And am moving past that one step at a time. The last few days have been going better, for which I'm thankful.

I was going to re-start one of my weight-related books (TW or TLT or Thin Again) but then I felt like God was saying.... "No, just focus on My Word and fill up on Me!" So I'm listening. I'm earnestly seeking Him (Ps. 63:1-2). I'm not going to let the enemy get to me with lies and discouragement.

I've been enjoying such quality time with God lately. I can't begin to say how much that means to me. And I've been memorizing scripture like crazy (like I mentioned in a previous post). It really feels like a MIRACLE to WANT to memorize scripture! I've never experienced the compulsion to memorize like I have lately. I truly don't want that to stop. And the neatest part of all is that these scriptures are beginning to become part of my prayers! This is also very special to me. So, I am thankful for this part of my journey right now. I'm truly finding satisfaction in God and His Word and intimacy with Him.

But oh, what ups and downs with consistent 0-5 eating! I decided the one thing I wanted to keep up was my private paper notebook food/exercise log. This way I can look back on how things are going and see what kinds of patterns are forming and how consistent I am with 0-5 eating etc. So here are my "statistics" (or patterns) for my January eating...

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23% of the time I ate within 0-5 the ENTIRE day, each and every eating occasion (7/30 days).

33% entire days I started at "0" (that is 10/30 days each eating occasion started at "0").

65% eating occasions were within 0-5 (62/96 eating occasions).

75% eating occasions I started at "0" (75/96).

11/30 days I exercised (that is 37%).

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Those may seem like irrelevant statistics! But they mean something to me. I can see so much room for growth!!!

I'm so afraid of returning to the defeated place I was for those 5 years (2002-2007). I long to be victorious and keep my eyes fixed on Him.

One of my ideas for goal setting is:
Aim for one full day of 0-5 eating (did that on Monday). Next, aim for two full days of 0-5 eating (did that on Tuesday and hopefully can say that by the end of today). Next aim for three full days of 0-5 eating. And continue building up the number of consistent days. And re-start each and every time I go off track. I just really need to build consistency into my eating. We'll see if that motivates me and helps me...

I've been seeing commercials lately and hearing people talk about how if they aren't physically hungry they aren't tempted to eat. There was a "Special K Satisfaction"cereal commercial where this lady had eaten her cereal for breakfast and when she was offered the donuts at the office she said "No thank you, I'm not hungry."

I thought to myself, "Am I the only one who is still tempted to eat stuff even when I'm not hungry?" I honestly don't know if I'm in the minority here! If something is tempting me, it really and truly matters very little to me if I'm hungry or not... I'm very weak and could easily dig right in. That is my flesh that quickly can swing into action. It takes an immense amount of self-control and God-focus for me to actually withstand the temptation. It doesn't yet feel natural to me. Once again, I have to wonder if I'm in the minority with this!

I've been challenged over the past few days to take a few of the lessons from this Fall/Winter a step further. As those who have been journeying alongside me know, one of the big themes I've been challenged by is "What lines the walls of my mind?" In other words, what kinds of thoughts/beliefs do I have? Are these thoughts lined up with God's Word, His truth? Next, I must take these thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).

Well, this past week, as I was studying "Living beyond yourself" by Beth Moore, I bumped into the verse, "But we have the mind of Christ." (1 Cor. 2:16) That's a revolutionary thought (make that TRUTH), don't you think!

What would Christ's mind look like? First of all NOTHING sinful would enter it! Secondly, He is ALL truth, perfect, righteous, holy and completely surrendered to the Father...and is in fact God! In other words, His thoughts and actions are PERFECT and HOLY.

So, if I have the mind of Christ....that means my mind should begin to look the same (though I know this will never be fully the case until I reach Heaven)! So when I start to apply taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ, essentially filtering out thoughts that don't line up with God's Word, then I begin to see a very specific picture painted of what my mind should look like...the mind of Christ. Imitate. Be like Jesus. Fix my eyes on Him.

Anyways, all this rambling is to say, that I'm feeling challenged IN ALL AREAS (not just eating related) to put on the mind of Christ, taking every thought captive to Him.

And my first step is to focus in on what God's Word and truth is...filling up on it every chance I get! I'm not giving up! God is doing a good work in me and will bring it to completion (Phil 1:6)! The God of all-grace is equipping me to abound in every good work (2 Cor. 9:8). I am being transformed into His likeness each and every day (2 Cor. 3:18). Praise God for that!

Dear Lord, O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. (Psalm 63:1-8) In Jesus name, Amen.

Excuses

I have been feeling a little discouraged lately with regards to my eating. I often want to make excuses....

• It's hard around my birthday and valentines day.
• It's hard around halloween.
• It's hard around christmas.
• It's hard during summer vacation and travelling.

Oh the list could go on and on and on, couldn't it!!! It's never easy! It's hard to stay within 0-5 eating boudaries, especially for a full day! But oh so rewarding when we persevere!

I've been struggling, in particular since halloween I'd say. It felt like a slippery slope that I just kept sliding and sliding down and down and down into the muck and mire!

Today didn't start off fabulous in regards to eating. In fact I felt on the greedy side as I took a second scone at our ladies bible study meeting. I had missed breakfast as I knew my friend was bringing these scones especially as a treat to celebrate my bday.... Yet another excuse, isn't it! I didn't eat past #5, but know that I could easily have been content and satisfied with simply one.

However midafternoon I felt wonderfully hungry! Yes, WONDERFULLY hungry! I love that feeling...at least when I know that it is within my "control" to eat something! I probably wouldn't like or relish that feeling if I had been deprived of food. But for me hunger is getting in tune with my body's needs.

I was on the phone with a friend, so I postponed eating for about an hour. Then I wasn't sure when to eat...wait for supper or have a little snack???

I decided to spend some time feeding on God's word and praying first. Now, that was a step in the right direction for me. Praise God!!! He certainly met me there. Oh how I long to do that more often!

Then I moved into eating an early supper. I relished and savoured that meal. Thanks, Lord!

So, why on earth do I CONSTANTLY make excuses??? It drives me nuts!! Imagine how God feels...

I guess, if I look at it from the perspective of dying to self I can say that DEATH IS PAINFUL. It hurts to cut lose all the sinful habits that I cling to. Yet I cling to the truth that Christ lives in me. He doesn't leave me to wallow in the pain of death...but rather brings me life, hope and future!

For...."I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

So I fix my eyes and continue to focus on the Lord with the desire for more of Him and less of me... I long to delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on it day and night. I desire to be a tree of righteousness, planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. (Ps. 1:1-3) And I continue taking one step at a time...

I will remember the truth that the ONE who lives inside of me is GREATER than the one who is in this world (1 John 4:4)

I'M NOT GIVING UP!

For I know that God hasn't given up on me!

Thanks, Lord!

Focus

Isn't this a freaky picture?!! I found it very hard to focus:-)

On Friday I was watching a christian TV talk show and one of the guests was a man named "The Diet Doc", Dr. Joe. I watched, curious to see what he would have to say and to hear a christian perspective to weight loss. I was so saddened as I watched the program unfold as they interviewed this fellow.

First and foremost nowhere did I hear that he is a believer (nor did I find it anywhere on his webpage that he is a christian)... I'm figuring he must be a christian if they are interviewing him on a christian program???

Secondly, everything was about following plans, rules, regulations, watching carbs, watching calories, watching what we eat....all focussed on FOOD! Nothing was addressed in regards to emotions, spiritual well being....focussing on God or His Word!

Then one of the talk show hosts continued to share how she had lost 60 lbs over the course of the past 10 years. And what followed was lots of congratulations and pats on the back, "Good job. What hard work. You did good. etc."~you get the idea. She looked very proud of herself...granted, I'm not going to judge her and her journey from that snapshot.

But the sad thing was that not ONCE was God glorified in the process...not once was any praise given to God for even something as simple as giving her a way out of temptation....not once was God given any air time. Oh how sad. I walked away quite shocked actually! The importance of THIS scripture was missed...

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the GLORY OF GOD. 1 Corinthians 10:31

God doesn't want us to keep Him out of this area of our life. I loved the way TLT (day 48) reflected that our need for food/physical nourishment is a shadow of the reality that we need spiritual food/nourishment. We NEED God MORE then we even need food! Imagine that! I know I certainly need Him every moment of every day!!! I am very weak and have many fleshly lusts that draw my focus away from my Greatest Treasure, Jesus Christ.

"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit..." Romans 1:17

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:31-34

I choose to fix my eyes and FOCUS on Jesus! (Hebrews 12:2)

The Lord's Table~Day 55 through 60

Day 55~All Food is Acceptable

I think the title of this lesson is self-explanatory!

"Are you so dull?" he asked. "Don't you see that nothing that enters a man from the outside can make him 'unclean'? For it doesn't go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body." (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods "clean.") He went on: "What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' " Mark 7:18-23

The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. 1 Timothy 4:1-5

Let us be people who eat whatever we want with rejoicing and thanksgiving, worshipping God in our hearts, remembering to be moderate in the amount that we eat. This is what honors the Lord and provides spiritual and physical health. TLT workbook pg180


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Day 56~How to Lose Weight...Worship

Though we will never hear this from the world, becoming free from overeating is a matter of learning how to enjoy the Lord. Freedom comes from learning how to drink Him in, how to quench our thirst in Him, how to feast our souls on Him. It is impossible to enjoy sin and enjoy teh Lrod at the same time, and those who are learning to nourish their souls and quench their thirst in Jesus are done with overeating. TLT workbook pg182

Joe writes: "The result of pursing food was weight gain, the result of pursing God is gaining a relationship with Him and learning to rely on Him." TLT workbook pg182

The four principles unpacked in this lesson are:

1. Focus: fix my eyes on Christ
2. Bow: surrender and submit to His Lordship
3. Offer: give myself to Him as a living sacrifice.
4. Enjoy: take pleasure in God and His Word.

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Day 57~Losing Weight By Delighting in the Lord

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

God will give us the desires of our heart because He will be the desire of our hearts. TLT workbook pg184

The whole key is to find ways in which our hearts rejoice in the Lord, and then explore new methods of making ourselves happy in Him. TLT workbook pg185

I desire to dwell on God's word and grow deep roots to feed upon His Word, just like I wrote about in my last post. I will delight in the Lord and find my Greatest Treasure as I return to God and turn away from sin.

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Day 58~Praise Brings Victory

An interesting story from 2 Chronicles was unpacked in this lesson. The Israelites were in battle. Jehoshaphat was the leader of God's people. And as he sought the Lord for help in the battle this is what is written...

This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. 2 Chronicles 20:15

After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: "Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever." 2 Chronicles 20:21

Did you notice the singers were teh ones who led the way?! I thought that was such a cool observation that was noted in the TLT study.

Focussing on God, His strength and power, His purposes, His sovereignty...rather then myself...reflects SURRENDER to Him! It also reflects trust and dependance on Him.

Here are some ideas on how to put this into practice (a brief summary of what was noted on pg 189 of the workbook)

• Create and seek to get away to a secret place of devotion with the Lord....make your heart glad in Him.
• Using a hymnal or praise song book read the words and sing the songs.
• Learn to use every temptation from the evil one as a stimulus to turn your heart toward praising God.
• Let it become an automatic response, over time, that when you receive bad news, you instantly worship the Lord.
• Learn to know when you fail the most, and prepare in advance to praise the Lrod instead of gratifying your flesh...preplan your victory... So we must learn to recognize the usual times when we fail, and replace them with pre-scheduled praising of the Lord.
• Count your blessings.
• Listen to music that lifts your heart in praise to God.

I loved all of the above ideas. I personally would like to carve out more times to play the piano and sing in worship to the Lord. It fills the sails of my heart as I praise the Lord:-)

Later in this lesson it was noted how prayer and praise preceded victory and freedom for Paul and Silas when they were supernaturally released from prison.

Here's a worthy goal that Mona writes about on pg 190: "Instead of eating out of habit, I will replace that with praising Him out of habit."

Day 59 & 60 were review days.... I'll write a bit about that in the next post.

The Lord's Table~Day 43 to 48

Day 43~One Thing Necessary

Studying the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42) the following point was made...

The first priority necessary in the Christian life is sitting at the feet of Jesus! TLT workbook pg 137

Here are the six teachings drawn out from that image of Mary sitting at Jesus' feet. Sitting at Jesus' feet indicates:

1. humility.
2. submission.
3. learning.
4. faith.
5. holding to His teaching.
6. that she (Mary) loved Jesus.

If I'm humble, I'll be repentant, broken, contrite and willing. If I'm submissive I'll surrender. If I'm learning, I'll soak up His word. If I'm holding to the faith, I'll trust and hold onto the promises of His Word. If I'm holding to His teaching, I'll be a doer and do His will. If I love Jesus, He will be my #1 priority.

When I think of sitting at Jesus' feet I have the image of prayer~quietly meditating on His words, worshipping Him, expressing gratitude to Him, listening to what He speaks to my heart, and humbly presenting my requests/concerns to Him. This is a lesson I need to apply. I know I need to sit at His feet in prayer more often.


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Day 44~Ministry Mindset

As God has worked in my heart and life and released me from the chains of sin He
has turned my focus upward and outward. TLT workbook pg 140

So, to summarize today's teaching, there is an importance in the Christian life to begin shifting away from self-centeredness and inward focus, to ministering to others. We need to cultivate a ministry mindset. Jesus told us that unless we follow Him to the place of death to self we will "remain alone" and be fruitless (John 12:23-25). TLT workbook pg 142

God has deeply, specifically and clearly impressed on my heart the various ways He desires me to be looking upward and outward. I always find that very exciting:-)

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Day 45~Freedom brings Spiritual Health

The one who turns from God to pursue satisfaction in something/someone else
goes into a spiritual famine. The soul becomes parched, malnourished, dehydrated and to use a medical term, it "fails to thrive." TLT workbook pg 143

I know I've never been so aware of the practicality of needing to fill up on God's Word as I am now. It was an aim of mine before, but not a priority. I now can sense a HUGE difference in myself when I'm feeding on His word and when I'm not.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD and in his law he meditates day and night. Ps. 1:2

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does he prospers. Ps. 1:3

When I overeat I feel ashamed, angry at myself, overwhelmed, feel like giving up and giving in.

As I feed on God's word and am in relationship wtih Him moment by moment I begin to experience victory, a renewing of the mind and these feelings dissapear and are replaced with joy, contentment, peace, excitement, anticipation, praise, gratitude and a deeper more intimate relationship with the Lord.

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Day 46~Key to Victory-Ongoing Humility

Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you. James 4:10

When I fix my eyes on Him and His greatness I am humbled by the reality of His greatness and of my complete need for Him and dependance on Him for existence.

I desire to pray the following prayer (or something like it) prior to eating...

Dear Lord, thank you for this food. You are truly a giver of good gifts. I pray that you would make me content with my portion. I pray your Holy Spirit would remind me and prompt me when to stop. Please make my spirit and flesh willing. Thank you Lord. Amen.

I also desire to constantly offer thanks while enjoying the blessing of the food He has provided.

He truly is a great God! I AM COMPLETELY DEPENDANT ON HIM FOR EVERYTHING, even when I think I've got things under control! Gratitude to the Lord is key to true humility.

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Day 47~Running to Win

The main gist of this lesson was that you can't run as fast or as far with extra weight. It will tire you out. Hebrews 12:1-4 and 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 were unpacked.

My main thoughts are that I need to be intentional and alert. I need to get rid of distractions. Keep my focus on Jesus. Seek Him. Tell my body what to do by setting goals and be intentional about my eating and exercise so I'm not being waved back and forth by my feelings of laziness/lack of self control and emotions. Ex. "It's time to go and jump rope, go for a walk etc." "No more sweets. I've had enough." Take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ, lining the walls of my mind with truths from God's word.

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Day 48~Shadows and Reality

I thought this lesson was so thought-provoking and interesting. The scripture that this lesson drew from was:

When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.

Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.

Colossians 2:13-17

The author presented a few different OT and NT images/stories to reflect on shadows and reality parallels: Moses hitting the rock and water gushing out paralleled with Jesus being our spiritual rock (Exodus 17:6 and 1 Cor. 10:1-4), the provision of manna to the Israelites in the desert parallels Jesus being the living bread out of heaven (Exodus 16:4 and John 6:47-51), Noah's ark being their safety in the midst of the flood paralleled with Jesus being our savior in the flood of sin (Gen. 6:17-18 and 1 Peter 3:18-21).

I know there are many many other shadows and realities in scripture that could be dug into! I think this would make a fantastic sermon series:-) I may just present this idea to my pastor:-)

Now when I eat I let the food point me to Jesus. As I savor a bite of food I think of how we are to "taste and see that the Lord is good" (Ps. 34:8) When I am nourished by a delightful meal I recall taht we are to truly feast on the forgiveness Jesus gave us at the cross (Hebrews 13:10). When I'm hot and take a drink of cool water I'm reminded that if I drink of Jesus as the Living Water I will never thirst for sinful things again. Food and drink are "shadows" that point us to the reality which is Christ. TLT workbook pg 134

I find this point very interesting. I definitely need to change my perspective of food. Everytime my tastebuds explode with enjoyment as something tastes amazing I need to remember this is a shadow of Christ, that HE tastes ever so much better! Everytime my belly is satisfied I need to remember this is a shadow of the satisfaction that God brings. Everytime I gain energy and strength from the food I need to remember that God provides much more!

The Lord's Table~Day 35 to 42

It's been quite awhile since I posted my quick recaps of these lessons! But I continue doing one daily and always come away refreshed and challenged. I know it's not all that much fun reading lengthy posts about a study you're not even studying, so please know that the main reason I'm posting these recaps are for my own benefit, to have a quick snapshot of each lesson and lessons I've learned along the way. I have done the same with the "Thin Within" book a couple times.

That being said, here is my catch-up recap...

Day 35~Perseverance

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:1-5

Perseverance develops character.

Character develops hope.

Hope doesn't disappoint.

Mike Cleveland writes:

If we study the life of Abraham we can see that he was simply a "faithful plodder." How about you? Are you in this lifestyle change as a sprinter or a marathon runner? What are your thoughts?

My answer is: A faithful plodder for the most part! It feels like it's taking a long time to experience full victory in the area of overeating. But I keep plodding along! I keep on keeping on. I keep pressing on.

And here is one of my personal favorite verses that wasn't mentioned in this lesson but speaks of perseverance...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

I cling to that promise.

Perseverance must finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

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Day 36~God Nourishes His People

Christ Himself is the Bread of Life and He is "The Lord's Table" and is given to us for our nourishment. We begin to grow spiritually as we feed on Christ and do His will. As we grow we begin living in a self-controlled manner, and we develop habits of righteousness. These habits can last a lifetime and will mean permanent weight loss for us. The good news for us is that God nourishes His people. He causes us to grow. TLT workbook pg 117

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Day 37~Such Were Some of You

If we are sinners who are trying to be good we will inevitably fall. But if we are saints, who occasionally stumble and sin, then our nature is such that we hate sin, and our habitual pattern of life will be to walk in righteousness. TLT workbook pg 119

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Day 38~Food For the Soul

This lesson touches on the scripture I had discovered on our christmas travels: 2 Peter 1:5-8

Once again here is the chain...

1. Faith
2. Goodness
3. Knowledge
4. Self-control
5. Perseverance
6. Godliness
7. Brotherly kindness
8. Love

One thing that I took away from this lesson is to remember to focus on the fruits of the spirit. These are the new "clothes" of the new creation that I am in Christ. When Christ lives in me then I will bear fruit of the Spirit. Keep fixing my eyes on Christ. Let go of all sin that entangles. Nothing but Him satisfies fully so why would I even try to seek substitutes or have one foot on each side of the fence, serving two masters?


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Day 39~Live For Pleasure

The key is that we are to be a people who live for pleasure in God! TLT workbook pg 125

Ways I can do this are look to God for instruction, read and meditate on His Word, do His will, listen to praise music, pray and worship Him, read things that draw my eyes to Him, reach out and share His love and the gospel with others...and probably so much more!


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Day 40~Called to Suffer

I'm not sure about the premise of this lesson in regards to weight loss methods. I am not sure sure about needing to suffer to lose weight. I believe in "suffering" when denying fleshly lusts, but not necessarily "suffering" by denying hunger... Does that make sense? I think that our hunger and fullness are designed by God to help us take care of our bodies and we should be listening to our body's signals.

However this statement I do agree with...

The point is that God is glorified in our becoming free from sin, and there will be inevitable suffering in the flesh that comes as we are seeking to be free from sin. TLT workbook pg 129

"If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me." Luke 9:23

Deny myself.

Take up his cross.

This is a key verse I think. So often I do as I feel entitled, focussing on self. But my old self is crucified and I must deny self.

I must "die" daily to: greed, grumpiness, selfishness, anger, covetness, laziness, loose tongue.

As a new creation, as Christ lives in me I must "live" each and every day to: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I must do daily housecleaning of my heart.


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Day 41~We Must Master Sin

Lessons learned fro 1 Peter 5:8-11...

Be self-controlled and alert. Resist the devil. Stand firm in the faith. Remember others are suffering the same. Remember Christ will give victory and will perfect me one day.

The biggest thing I need to do right now is to get intentional again and pre-plan more. This is being ALERT. I will continue feasting on the Lord which is standing FIRM IN THE FAITH. I need to use the sword of the Spirit (His Word) to RESIST Satan. I began to take action here.


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Day 42~Seek First The Kingdom of God

If I am seeking Christ first I will eat in a careful manner, so that I enjoy my food as a gift of God and so that I do not overeat. TLT workbook pg 134

Food is a gift from God. This is a good reminder. I must be a good steward of this gift. When greed is present it is NOT glorifying to God.

Looking to Matthew 6:25-34 I am reminded that because God knows our needs I can trust Him to meet those needs. My job is to SEEK HIM and the rest will fall into place in God's own special way.

Hope

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31

The first thing that hit me was the statement in verse 29 "he increases the power of the weak."

This leads me to the verse in Romans 12...

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. Romans 12:9-10

I feel weak. I am well aware of my failing and shortcomings. But He pours out His grace into my life. He is glorified through my weaknesses. He empowers me when I am weak. For when I am weak, then I am strong...

Back to reflecting on Isaiah 40:28-31, the key is to "hope" in the Lord.

I was reading the final lesson of the Beth Moore Breaking Free study and finished this lesson feeling so encouraged. She unpacked what the word "hope" in the context of Isaiah 40:31 means...

The Hebrew word for hope (KJV "wait upon") is qawah meaning "to bind together (by twisting)...to be gathered together, to be joined; to meet; to lie in wait for someone; to expect...to be confident, trust; to be enduring."

Inserting those synonyms in place of the words "hope in" for verse 31 would look like this...

But those who "bind together, are gathered together, are joined with the" Lord will renew their strength.

But those who "meet with the" Lord will renew their strength.

But those who "lie in wait for the" Lord will renew their strength.

But those who "expect, are confident in, trust in the" Lord will renew their strength.

But those who "endure in the" Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they
will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

What a great reminder of what it means to truly "hope" in the Lord.

So today I chose to join with, meet with, lie in wait of, confidently expect and trust in, endure in the Lord.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." Jeremiah 29:11-14

I will call upon the Lord. I will come and pray to Him. I will aim to seek Him with all my heart.

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for increasing my strength and helping me run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint. Thank you Lord for listening to me, revealing yourself to me, and promising to bring me back from captivity. I choose to hope in you alone. Amen.

The Lord's Table~Day 18,19,20,21

Day 18~Setting Captives Free I

Slaves are not free people, but rather they have a master and must do his bidding. I remember how a food image would lodge in my brain, and I could try to pray it away, ignore it, or read the Bible, but it kept after me until I would eventually give in and obey the demands to indulge. Then I would feel bad and ask for God's forgiveness, but soon after I would be indulging again over a different food thought, over and over. This is slavery to sin. Have you had this type of "slavery" experience? TLT workbook pg 57

YES! YES! YES! I can completely relate to this description.

This lesson highlights the following verses...

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." They answered him, "We are Abraham's descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?" Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:31-36

It is the TRUTH, Jesus Christ, Who sets us free!

So this lesson asks the question: What are some lies you have believed in your overeating?

Lies...

• If I don't eat it now it will continue tempting me.

• Eating MORE of something will somehow be MORE satisfying.

• I'm tired and eating will bring enjoyment and relaxation.

Truth...

• Eating it NOW does temporarily remove the temptation... But too often another temptation is lying in wait! It doesn't solve the dilemma!
• Eating MORE of something definitely is NOT more satisfying. Rather it brings me a sore belly and feelings of shame and condemnation.
• Eating when I'm tired DOES bring me a degree of enjoyment and relaxation. But ultimately it also brings with it the baggage of guilt and condemnation as I know it is not the best choice at this time. God has many more provisions that I can enjoy and be refreshed by in those moments. Food is not the wisest choice.
  

I really appreciated this scripture as well...

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." Jeremiah 29:12-14

I need to keep calling on God, seeking Him, praying to Him WITH ALL MY HEART. He WILL answer. He WILL reveal truth. He WILL restore me.


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Day 19~Setting Captives Free II--From Prison to Praise

Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom
and broke away their chains.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men,
for he breaks down gates of bronze
and cuts through bars of iron. Psalm 107:13-16

The above passage shows that God responds to His people crying out to Him by:

• humbling their hearts
  

• saving them

• bringing them out of darkness
  

• breaking their chains

• breaking down gates of bronze and cutting bars of iron

I'm so weak. I get so mad at myself. It seems I start the day with such resolve (and prayer may I add) but then somehow this resolve just keeps weakening as the day goes by, especially the instant I'm hungry, the instant sugar is in front of me, the instant a thought/lust for eating enters my mind.

I keep calling and calling out to the Lord. I know lessons are being learned through this. It is not for nothing. I'm enslaved to my sinful lusts. I'm still trying to be the lord of my life in this area. I'm still doing things MY way. I'm in a prison right now. I need God to set me free. I need a true humble, contrite, repentant heart. I need to take each thought captive for Christ.

He WILL humble and save me. He WILL bring me out of this darkness. He WILL break the bands apart. He WILL shatter the gates of bronze and cut the bars of iron. I trust God CAN and WILL do this.


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Day 20~Setting Captives Free III

"Now you shall eat in this manner: with your loins girded, your sandals on your feet, and your staff in your hand; and you shall eat it in haste--it is the LORD'S Passover." Exodus 12:11

This verse highlights how the Israelites were to be ready for flight, ready to escape slavery. They were to be ready to move AWAY from Egypt.

So how do I "eat my way out of slavery?" Answer: Feed on the Word of God! The way that you and I today, "eat the Lamb," is to take Scripture and chew on it, and apply it to our lives... Freedom follows fullness... We can't "try" our hardest not to overeat and be successful; we will always fail. But we can "eat" our way out of slavery. TLT workbook pg65

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers. Psalm 1:2-3

What an awesome verse! I need to be hooked up to the true water source. Then I will yield fruit and prosper. This is all about walking with God moment by moment, capturing each and every thought for Christ, and saying "Get away satan, for it is written..."

God impressed the following thoughts on my heart this day...

Why do I leave this time, first thing in the morning, as the main time I feed on His word...yet I physically eat a breakfast, lunch and a supper and sometimes even a snack in between. I feel challenged to have a spiritual breakfast, lunch and supper, filling up on His word throughout the day to keep me going. Maybe my spiritual supper should be one of my biggest meals, just as it is physically for me. For the evening is the time I feel most tempted.

I've been trying to follow through with this the past two days and it has been wonderfully satisfying to fill up on God's word more frequently.

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Day 21~Focus

This lesson is all about fixing my eyes on Jesus. If I focus on the pull of the sin then I'm pulled under. I need focus on Christ. He will help me rise above.

Application for me would be...

• capturing each thought for Christ (surrendering each and every thought to Him)

• spiritual breakfast, lunch and supper

• constant prayer, spending time with God moment by moment

Over the past few days I have felt a little dragged down as I studied the TLT materials. It emphasizes the seriousness of sin and the need for repentance. TW, in contrast, emphasizes the grace of God in the face of our failures and sins and the need to observe and correct rather then beat ourselves up with the club of condemnation. I find TW is quite motivating in its approach. Yet I also know I have needed this TLT material to highlight the ugliness of my sin and to highlight my need for further surrender and turning to the Lord. So I continue to pray for a truly repentant heart. And I need to remember to focus on the TW tool of observation and correction as this has really helped me in the past. I've been completely bypassing that tool lately!

Thin Within~Day 10

Lots of great quotes in this chapter!

I'm not a failure, but a work in progress. TW pg 95

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. TW pg 95

The real question is not whether you are going to fail, but rather how you will respond when you do. TW pg 100

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such
opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3

Today went so-so. I felt discouraged that I was so mastered by sugar today. I know that my food choices were not the wisest today... On the positive note though I did stay within 0-5 with God's help.

Exercise: x

Eating:
0-4 at 8:45am
0-5 at 11:00am
0-5 at 4:00pm

And on a side note... We added a new member to our family today--Vanilla Caramel the guinea pig!

It was all quite spontaneous and unplanned. Vanilla is our first "real" pet (our last one was a fish)...and we got her for free through an ad on the internet! We have no clue how to care for this creature! So we have some research to do! Hopefully the night goes smoothly. It feels a bit like the first night we had our oldest daughter home from the hospital on the day she was born!

Satisfaction versus Gratification

"The Real Me" by Natalie Grant

I heard this song on the radio the other day and it blew me away!

But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Oh,Cause you see the real me
Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When you look at me
You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into
A perfect tapestry

Well, here's a glimpse of my "real me"....long winded as always! I guess these ramblings help me gather my thoughts together.

TW chapter 26 digs into the differences between satisfaction and gratification.

Satisfaction “can be applied to a heart that has been sustained or a need that has been fulfilled by God's provisions.” TW pg278 Under the canopy of God's grace, on the path of provision, we will experience satisfaction. It will produce authenticity, worship and praise, peace, power and pardon and a mature walk with God. TW pg 280

Gratification “describes temporary or immediate pleasure.” TW pg 278 When I live life my own way (my plan, my will, my flesh, my control), on the path of my performance, I will yo-yo between legalism and license. This produces false-self, self-preoccupation, no peace, power & pardon and an immature walk with God. TW pg280

These verses struck a chord:

“I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

I have been working through a study of the life of David by Beth Moore and today's lesson really brought it all together for me. Based on just a few short verses in 2 Samuel: 11:1-5, Beth reflected on the reasons the “man after God's own heart”, David, fell into sin, committing adultery with Bathsheba.

“One evening David got up from his bed and strolled around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing—a very beautiful woman.” 2 Sam. 11:2

“Few things frighten me more than this testimony of David's life. We too could be persons of character and integrity and, without apparent warning, destroy our ministeries and ourselves through the choice to gratify our sudden lusts. Like David, a few short verses could record the story of our downfall.” pg 258 “David: 90 days with a Heart like His” by Beth Moore

Beth asks:

Where are your rooftops? In what places or situations do you find yourself most likely to slip into bad habits? Why does the enemy find these locations so ripe for picking on us? What does our sinful flesh like about these spots?

I've been experiencing such joy and satisfaction in the Lord the last few months...and also experiencing much victory over the sin of greed and gluttony, releasing many pounds. Praise God!!!

Yet the last few days I feel like I've been on David's rooftop... I've sure struggled to continue practising his presence and surrendering fully to him lately. One of my “rooftops” is definitely tiredness. I know that at these moments I can fall into sin—eating outside 0-5, emotions that often get misdirected at my family, and general lack of self-control. I know that I'm not being watchful and prayerful at these moments. It takes energy to battle the flesh and my energy is low when I'm tired. I'm open for attack.

My reading of TW chapter 27 drove home this same point for me today as well...

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

“When we are weary, we are vulnerable—vulnerable to flesh-filled eating, vulnerable to focussing on performance instead of God's provision, and vulnerable to turning to temporary gratification rather than to the true life-sustaining satisfaction found only in Him.” TW pg 287

The weariness I've been experiencing lately has been partially physically exhausted moments, but also weariness in doing “good”, making the right choices. I am not being watchful and prayerful as Jesus commands. I am not looking for the way out that God provides. I also have not been taking as much time to really dig into His word and practice his presence.

I need to see each temptation as a learning experience, an opportunity to make the right choice, to live a life pleasing to God. I need to become a slave to righteousness. (Romans 6:19). When I choose to live under the canopy of God's grace, on the path of His provision, each of these choices affords me the opportunity to be authentic, to worship and praise the Lord, to experience His peace, power and pardon and for my faith to deepen and mature.

Central to living on the path of His provision is time spent with Him, soaking up His word, in constant prayerful communion with my Heavenly Father.

One last quote that drives home the reason I need to make the most of each opportunity to do the right thing...

“What does it mean to 'fear God'? A biblical fear of the Lord is an awe that calls us to authentic worship. It is a healthy, accurate view of God that sees the Lord as He is, high and exalted, and ourselves as humble and dependent. When we cease relating to God as our 'buddy', as a God of convenience, and when we esteem Him in His rightful place of honor, we humbly surrender ourselves and our choices to Him. We no longer view His grace simply as 'a terrific deal' to cover all our sin (which it does), but we see it as a power that sustains our obedient choices, causing us to will and to do according to His good pleasure. This mature walk with the Lord refuses to diminish the awesomeness of God, but allows Him to be Lord in all ways, with tenderness and compassion, justice, holiness and truth.” TW pg 282

Today I choose to make the most of every opportunity to do the good that I know I ought to do (James 4:17) I choose to fix my eyes on Him, to live in His awesome presence moment by moment, humbling myself before Him.

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” Phil 2:12-13

Dear Lord, I desire to do your will. I know I've let my guard down. I've allowed a hole in the wall of this “great project” to be open to the enemy's attack. As I grow weary of doing the good I know I ought to do, I have let sin entangle me and hinder me. Please help me not be mastered by sin, but rather be a slave to righteousness. As I fix my eyes on you, as I develop a biblical “fear” of You, I see the shallowness and absurdity of gratifying the fleshly desires. Why would I ever want to invest in these desires and things that are “meaningless” when I can experience your life-sustaining constant peace, power, presence and pardon that brings real joy and satisfaction. Today I choose to be watchful and prayerful. Thank you for seeing "the real me", for "turning the tattered fabric of my life into a tapestry." In Jesus name, Amen.

Great Project

"I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you?" Nehemiah 6:3

“Nehemiah wasn’t about to be derailed by an ungodly alliance. Thus far, no spears, swords, or arrows and actually been used; the only weapons were words. But Nehemiah remained resolute, guarding his life, as well as his God-given calling and work from the evil intentions of others. And he encouraged the people entrusted to his care to do the same. When the final plot was underway to lure Nehemiah into the temple of God and to manipulate him into breaking the law, he remained faithful to God’s boundaries. Nehemiah refused to sin against the Lord and remained steadfast in his life of obedience to God. This account demonstrates that godly boundaries can be established and maintained in a God-honoring way. As a result, Nehemiah is recorded in biblical history as one of the great men of all time.” TW pg 183-184

This verse and the story behind it has kept resonating with me ever since I read TW ch. 18. Why would I want to let anything get in the way of this “great project” that He is working in me? God promises that he has begun a good work in me and will carry it onto completion (Phil 1:6) and he has equipped me with all I need for life and godliness (2 Pet 1:3).

I want to live my life with the same attitude as Nehemiah. I want to keep pressing on and persevere, not letting anything hinder the progress of this “great project”, fixing my eyes on Jesus who is the author and the perfector of my faith (Hebrews 12:1-3).

It’s hard to apply this in life though. I wish I could say I had this attitude, that I never sway from the course of 0-5 eating, that I withstand temptations. I wish I could say I have completely surrendered everything to God… But I so often see that I make exceptions or push the limits. I long to have the same attitude as Nehemiah! So I continue pressing on...

Camping thoughts cont'd...

Just wanting to clarify that I plan on following my God-given hunger signals....not a menu plan. I am going to go with the flow and aim to function as a naturally thin eater. I think I'll keep my eye on my "naturally thin eater" friend while camping... She knows that she is my role model in this department:-) I just love how thin eating just flows naturally with her!

I was re-reading my post and thought my plan may have sounded a bit rigid to some people. The reason I am pre-planning these options is because I am of course pre-packing all the food to take with us on our trip. I just want to make sure I choose healthier options this time round with camping.

I know I am going to be challenged with 0-5 eating. I was reading 1 Corinthians 10:13 again this morning and am reminded that God WILL provide a way out of temptation. I will be resting in this truth...

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

I will also do as Jesus says...

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Matthew 26:41

The following verse keeps on resonating with me as well...

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." Hebrews 12:2

He is the author and perfector of our faith. Those words have been popping out to me the past couple days. What an awesome truth and promise.

Well, enough of my ramblings! I guess I won't be back on for about a week.

Hinderances

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. " Hebrews 12:1

This verse resonated with me this morning. I'm wondering what exactly hinders me? What sins do I so easily get tangled and trapped in?

I know that I often want to make exceptions to eat when not hungry. This certainly hinders me as I push God away, tuning out what I know He is saying to me.

I know another thing that hinders me is when I choose to eat more then I should, pushing me past #5. I have come to an awareness of some of the cues my body gives me when I have reached the end of #5. And yet I so often choose to ignore those cues and God's voice which speaks to me through this time trying to direct me towards the way out of the temptation.

Past failures also hinder my progress.

These are the first things that come to mind as I reflect. There are probably more that will come to mind as I meditate on this verse more over the next while.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such oppostition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:2-3

The solution? I need to fix my eyes on Jesus! I need to dwell in His presence every single moment of every single day. What a difference that would make! I need to live under the canopy of His grace and provision. I need to rely on Him for strength and power...not on my own effort. Jesus sacrificed so incredibly much to make a way for us to be right with God. I need to fix my eyes on His sacrifice... What I have to sacrifice will seem oh so insignificant with that focus!