TW Summer Study - day 3

Day Three ~ Going for Godly Goals

I'm quite a goal oriented person. I like my lists. I like to make a perfect copy...of the good copy...of the rough draft of a list!!! LOL It's in my nature! This chapter has typically resonated with me as I would decide on what a good # I'd like to see on the scale at a certain point in time etc. It was the kind of motivation I needed. I still have felt God impress on me some clear goals and objectives as I posted about here.

But I feel like I'm at a bit of a different place right now than I was a year ago, with a bit less focus on the externals like weight and exercise etc. My focus has gradually shifted more to the internals, to the shape of my heart. I'm excited about this change that is taking shape. It's all part of the journey I guess! I look forward to greater surrender and intimacy with the Lord. I look forward to more of Him and less of me...

One thing I found quite interesting to note was that my vision statement has changed over the past year. Originally my vision statement was:

My life's purpose is to shine for Jesus, glorify God, evangelize the lost and equip the saints. (Some of our church's vision statement resonated so deeply with me that it became my own personal vision statement)

Here's my updated one, that the Lord has been impressing on me the past number of months...

My life's purpose is to love God more each day and extend His love to others...for His glory. I desire to be the aroma of Christ in this world.

Okay, I know I'm not that eloquent, but it pretty much sums up what I've been journeying through and towards lately.

So, with this vision statement in mind, I guess my primary goal is to find satisfaction in Him alone....not in food, leisure time, online time, family, friendships, material stuff... Him alone. All else fades in comparison to knowing and loving...and being loved by...Him....and passing it on to others so they can get to know and love and be loved by Him!

I love the verse that was highlighted in this chapter:

"The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives." (Psalm 37:23, NLT)

Beautiful! We certainly have a GREAT God!

Challenge #6 ~ Yum!

Okay, this should be a fun one!

Eat and drink the food and beverages my body enjoys.

Relish this as the opportunity to be authentic. With a thankful spirit and no guilt whatsoever, you can eat and enjoy whatever your heart desires and whatever your body calls for. You are free to be real with yourself and with God. You will discover how trustworthy your body is as you melt down to the size God created you to be. "Can't you see that what you eat won't defile you? Food doesn't come in contact with your heart, but only passes through the stomach and then comes out again." (By saying this, he showed that every kind of food is acceptable.) (Mark 7:18-19, NLT)

Too often, we get caught up in thinking we are "good" or "bad" based on what we eat. Food can't cleanse the heart no matter how little fat or how much fiber it contains. Be liberated and rejoice as you rid yourself of such thoughts and other dieting rules. For
the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17).

There are no forbidden foods. If you have food allergies or a medical condition that would require abstinence from certain foods, by all means heed your doctor's recommendations. But aside from that, enjoy God's wonderful provisions. We might, however, be tempted to take this to an extreme to abuse or misuse food. It's important for us to remember that "Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12). When unsure, ask God what your body needs in order to feel and operate its best. You will then know what will be an
appropriate choice. (TW pg 9-10 )

Thin Within also mentions, later in the book, the concept of teasers, pleasers and whole-body pleasers. I think it is beneficial to keep these terms in mind as well. Actually the words "my body enjoys" seems very reflective of aiming for whole-body pleasers. It's not just about what my tastebuds tell me when eating a food. It's also what the rest of my body tells me. Does the food/beverage make me feel sluggish afterwards? Energized? Sick? etc.

Here's a brief recap of pleasers, teasers and whole body pleasers...

Pleasers: you know you will enjoy, you know that this is a food that will hit the spot and bring physical satisfaction, the sort of food for which you would walk a mile, may change from day to day. (TW pg 186)

Teasers: convenient, easy to get to, call out and tempt you, eaten when our flesh machinerery is in high gear, look better than they taste, "stuffer" or "filler," not very satisfying, make us think "more is better," food wasn't on our mind until we heard about it, saw it or smelled it, all-time classic teaser is what's left of your pleaser when you have reached your comfortable 5 and are satsfied! (TW pg 187)

Whole-Body Pleasers: foods that your body calls out for, are enjoyable while you eat them, and they leave you feeling energized afterward. (TW pg 188)

I love this concept that anything is permissible. It certainly makes it easier to "fit" into any lifestyle or setting. Our family easter brunch doesn't need to set me off track because I know that all things are permissible...within the 0-5 boundaries. When going on vacation I can relax into it and fully enjoy the experience (including new foods), aiming to stay within the boundaries of 0-5 once again.

My body is pretty easy to please I must say! Very few things make my body feel yucky, sluggish etc. Coffee/tea is the biggest thing I try to stay away from because the caffeine keeps me up at night. So, for me the biggest thing to watch for is that a pleaser or whole body pleaser does not become my teaser. This happens when I go outside the 0-5 boundaries. Desserts have become teasers in this sense for me far too often lately. This is where "Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12) comes into effect. I am currently assessing how to make sure that desserts don't master me because I know this would not be pleasing to God.

So, this upcoming week, I'm going to aim to eat yummy stuff that makes my body feel good! And more than that I'm going to aim to eat stuff with my allegiance lined with God, not the food. I don't just want my body to feel satisfied with yummy foods....I want my SOUL to be satisfied with yummy food (His word, time in prayer and spent at His feet)!

My SOUL will be satisfied as with the richest of foods. Psalm 63:5

So I choose to fill my mouth, body and soul with yummy stuff this week:-) Wow, as I write this I can't help but think that my boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places! Thanks, Lord!

Boundaries

What boundaries, with regard to eating, do I feel called to? This is the question I've been pondering a bit more over the past couple days.

First and foremost I definitely feel God calling me to eat within hunger and fullness (#0-#5). This just works for me. I feel comfortable with it. It makes sense to me and resonates with me. The signals that God created my body to send me, telling me when I'm hungry and full just seem so logical to me. If I stay within 0-5 at all times, eating for emotional reasons is kept to a minimum. Of course, staying within those boundaries at all times is another matter...

Another boundary that I have felt impressed on me more frequently of late is that I should be sitting at the table to eat. If I stayed within that boundary a lot of the extra nibbling would be eliminated.

I'm still unsure what kinds of boundaries God is calling me to in regards to sugary treats. One that has worked for me in the past has been to save treats for dinner dessert. None during the day. I'm just not sure if I need to take this a step further. I know in my post on April 1st I was talking about eliminating sugary treats for the month (excluding social occasions). But, in all honesty I haven't been sticking to this. I'm going to seek God on this one a bit more. This definitely presents the biggest challenge for me to stay within the 0-5 boundary. I will certainly need to feel God's conviction and empowerment on this one for me to follow through. This one is a TOUGH one for me!

Boundaries are a wonderful and beautiful thing when lovingly set in place. I know that God has given me many boundary lines, to live within His will, and I know that He has set these boundary lines out of love and care for me. I am blown away by the fact that God really and truly loves me and wants to satisfy me more than anything or anyone else! The following verses are very special to me...

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:24

LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. Psalm 16:6

The Lord is my portion. Those are powerful words. Nothing else will satisfy me like God does. Too often I'm like a whiny child, wanting what I want NOW, when what really is most satisfying and healthy in the long run is extended from the hand of a loving parent.

My boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places. I certainly feel this is true in my life. I am thankful that God has allowed me to experience so many pleasures and joys in my life when staying within His boundaries. Yet how often do I turn a blind eye to these boundary lines? I honestly can often feel the switch turning on or off within me, when I want to step outside the boundary lines and do things my own way. ugh. I need to STOP and be transformed by the rewewing of my mind, taking captive every thought and making it obedient to Christ, BEFORE I step outside these boundaries! Why on earth would I want to step into the muck and mire of sin when God has gifted me with such a pleasant place?

And then moving onto this verse...

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11

In my mind, if I was to envision where I'd like the boundary lines of my life to fall...I can see this vision of fences surrounding His throne. Oh, that is the place to STAY, isn't it!!!! All other things will fall into place when I keep my mind stayed on Him, when I stay in His presence.

Weigh-In Day

I REALLY don't feel like posting this post....but I know this is part of the journey and I won't shie away from being transparent about it.

So yesterday was weigh-in day. I stepped on the scale after staying away from it since February 20th. Oh how quickly I pulled out the club of condemnation as the scale read I’m up another 3 pounds since I last weighed. That means I’m up 10 pounds since September 2008 – from 149 to 159 pounds. Ugh.

All sorts of thoughts swirled through my head. Of course the big one being that I somehow think I NEED the scale to maintain/lose weight… Another thought that ran through my head was “This 0-5 eating doesn’t work to lose weight!” (which I know flat out is a lie, since it HAS "worked" for me and many others!). I rarely go there with my thoughts, but I have to admit I went there yesterday! Then there were the other familiar thoughts: failure, the past repeating itself, defeat. It feels like the story of my past few years. I’d lose weight. Gain it back plus some. Lose weight. Gain it back plus some. And on it went. I don’t want to continue yo-yoing like this. I feel tired of this battle.

Right now, thinking of myself as 159lbs (keeping in mind that this is on my scale...the doctor's scale would probably add another couple pounds to that #....making me well outside my BMI again *sigh*)... Back on topic, thinking of myself as 159 lbs makes me feel very unattractive and fat. I could actually feel the “blobbiness” descend on me like a cloak, immediately after the weigh in. What on earth is up with that?! Prior to stepping on the scale I felt strong, healthy, slim, empowered. Stepping on the scale and seeing this # is certainly a wake-up call. One I perhaps needed. But at the same time, the thought of living in the shadow of this piece of metal’s “judgement” of me just doesn’t appeal to me any longer.

As I reflect on the past month, I have to admit that I absolutely relished the past 1+ months, living free of the scale. Eating 0-5 seemed to flow fairly naturally every single day, at basically every meal. It was a beautiful thing to experience. I kept careful track of my hunger #’s and food eaten. I can see habits changed. I can see heart changes. One of the most beautiful things about tracking this way was that I would sometimes feel the club of condemnation pulled out for slip-ups…but rarely would I feel “fat” or “ugly” or “unattractive” when exclusively using the 0-5 scale. I simply observed, corrected, and saw each slip up as a potential learning experience to grow further surrendered to the Lord.

One of my first responses was thinking that I needed to step on the scale daily once again. Track it. Mark it down. And in all honesty, stepping on the scale daily has a positive aspect. I have no clue if my weight today was a “blip” in a string of on-track weigh-ins…or was it a true reflection of my past month’s struggle/victory steps? I really have no clue. That bugs me. That is probably one of the only positives for a daily weigh-in. I see the fluctuations and don’t get as “thrown” off when I see a higher # occasionally.

My other response, which I believe is a true conviction from the Lord, is to cut out desserts for the next month. I think this is where the real slip-up has happened in the past couple months. The “love” of sugar has its tentacles gripping my heart. And it is time to be set free from that, no longer mastered by anything but Christ. I have noticed that this is definitely the biggest struggle I have with staying on track 0-5. I think my dessert consumption has resulted in me stretching my hunger #’s. The thought of bypassing the dessert after dinner, when I’m at a clear #5, hardly enters my mind. I’m greedy for that sugar. I’m longing for that treat. It’s what I’ve been waiting for all day long. Honestly, that’s the truth. That is the sin hiding away in the secret place of my heart.

I contemplated what it would look like to cut out desserts for the month in conjunction with stepping on the scale daily… And I have to say this is where I have changed. It was like a light bulb went off in my head…or maybe my heart. I don’t want to step near that piece of metal. I don’t want to feel “righteous” if my weight goes down. I don’t want to feel “fat” when my weight goes up. I just want to go with the flow, walking in step with the Spirit. I want to simply focus on obedience and surrender to the Lord.

So, that is where I’m going to track. I feel the Lord calling me to greater obedience, less focus on the # on the scale, more focus on Him. I know it is going to be tough cutting out desserts for the next month (although I will make exceptions in social situations if it is within 0-5 as I generally don’t struggle with moderation in those situations). I know that it is time to move into a “discernment” phase. I have seen very clearly how much of a stronghold sugar has in my life. And I need the Lord to set me free. I need to be able to see that the LORD is my portion. He satisfies…even more then sugar!

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Psalm 119:103

I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread. Job 23:12

God calls me to so much more than simply being consumed with weight and the number on the scale. He wants my heart…ALL OF IT!

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Mark 12:30

And I want Him to have all of me! I have seen how God has used this weight surrender struggle to draw me into a deep and intimate relationship with Him. I have had an insatiable appetite and hunger and thirst for the Lord and his word the past few months, unlike I've ever experienced before. I praise God for that! I don’t simply want to travel this journey to end up self-controlled and disciplined…I want it to be about so much more than that. I want His glory to spill over and out through me with the fruits of the spirit so evident - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

May my life be a fragrant offering to you, my Lord. Mould me. Use me. Change me. Renew me. Transform me more into your image. May I reflect your glory more and more each and every day, and become pure as gold through these tests. Amen.

Reflect

In Living Beyond Yourself, Beth Moore writes,

Gold is not "finished" until it reaches a point of perfect luster. The chief objective of the refiner is to bring the gold to a point of greatest reflection. The gold is not as costly for its own sake as it is for the sake of that which it reflects. It is the light which exposes its qualities. LBD pg 116

She unpacked a few scriptures which God really spoke to my heart through, a few of which I will pinpoint below.

"But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside. I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread. " Job 23:8-12

"He has tested me and I will come forth as GOLD." Those are Job's words after losing his children, his servants, his livestock, his wealth, his physical health.

"I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread." Wow! That's powerful! Job certainly glorified God in the trials of life. (On a side note this verse has REALLY spoken to me in regards to weight surrender issues... Treasuring God's word is KEY!)

"And we, who with unveiled faces all REFLECT the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18

We are called to REFLECT God's glory. And the neat thing is we have "unveiled" faces. Through Jesus' death on the cross the veil has been removed. We can approach the throne of grace with confidence (Hebrews 4:16). That's an amazing truth!

Exodus 34:29-35 describes how Moses had such a radiant face after being in the Lord's presence that he would actually have to put a veil over his face! We are being granted the same privilege! We get to be in God's very presence, with unveiled faces it says in 2 Cor. 3:18. As we spend time fixing our eyes on Him, keeping our mind stayed on Him, simply sitting at His feet and feasting at His table, presenting our prayers and petitions with thanksgiving to Him...we are in the very PRESENCE of God! And we can't help but be TRANSFORMED when we remain in His presence! And we will certainly REFLECT His glory!

As I type this up, I'm being reminded of my favorite childhood verse (I still don't know why this one resonated with me throughout those early years)...

"Those who look to him are RADIANT; their faces are never covered with shame." Psalm 34:5

When I come into His presence I can't help but be purified of sin. I don't think I could come into His presence with a truly rebellious heart. As I come humbly, in prayer, seeking His face and turning from my wicked ways, He hears my prayer, he forgives my sin and heals (2 Chron. 7:14) ...and my face is no longer covered with shame because He has forgiven me!

My main struggles in life are the "mundane" aspects. I simply need sinful impurities to be removed from my heart - my impatience with my kids, my lack of selflessness with my husband, my laziness, my lack of time in prayer, my lack of self-discipline with eating/exercise which happens time and again, my lack of focussing on things from above, my forgetting to be thankful and prayerful, having a loose tongue at times.... I want to STAY in His presence and have these impurities melted away. I want to come forth like gold, REFLECTING His glory!

So, I choose to fix my eyes on Him. I choose to keep my mind stayed on Him. I lay my requests before Him and wait in expectation. I passionately persist...

So that I may REFLECT!

God's Perfect Peace

I was watching the news this morning and an author was interviewed who had wrote a book about decision making. The point pondered was whether we should make decisions based on emotion or logic. And the answer is it needs to be a combination.

This flowed interestingly into what God has been speaking to me about the past few days in regards to my mind, my heart and God's perfect peace.

I've been feeling a bit caught up in the busyness of life. I have been longing to get my thoughts sorted out and processed. Putting posts together on my blog is one way of processing everything. I've been itching to get here to post! So this is a big treat for me right now!

As I think about the way my anxieties plague me, how my to-do list grows, how I sweat the small stuff, I plead for God's perfect peace. Oh how my emotions (heart) and logic (mind) can get all mixed up and upside down sometimes! I wanted to just quiet my soul and rest at His feet. A verse that has been really sticking with me lately and resonating is Isaiah 26:3.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. (NIV)

This is a powerful verse. It reminds me that I can experience God's perfect peace in my heart even in the midst of tumultuous experiences if my mind is focussed on the Lord. I asked myself what it means to have a mind that is steadfast. And the King James Version of this verse shed a little light on what that means.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is STAYED on thee: because he trusteth in thee. (KJV)

A steadfast mind is a mind that is STAYED on the Lord. Focussed on Him. Fixed on Him. Trusting the Lord. As I began to do a quick search on verses that speak of the mind, I was reminded of one of my favorite verses lately...

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2

Transformed by the renewing of my mind. How do we do that? is my next logical question.

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Col. 3:2

"I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Jeremiah 31:33

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' Matthew 22:37

I think the root of renewal and steadfastness of mind can be summed up in this verse:

But we have the mind of Christ. 1 Cor. 2:16

As I approach the throne of grace with confidence in the the blood of Jesus poured out for my sins (Heb. 4:16), and as I set my focus on things above (Col. 3:2), seeking to love God with all that is in me (Matt. 22:37) and get to know him through his law, the bible (Jer. 31:33)...then I have the mind of Christ and I begin to be transformed and renewed.

So what difference does this make to the state of my heart or my emotions? Well, if my mind is STAYED on the Lord, trusting Him, steadfast...then He renews me and transforms me and also begins to pour out His perfect peace in my heart. It begins to spill over.

I couldn't help but think about this familiar passage:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-9

This is getting down the nitty gritty of experiencing God's perfect peace. I hadn't really zoned in on the word "mind" before in verse 7 where it says: And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Hmmm.... Very interesting! And the main message of the whole passage is all about keeping our focus STAYED on Him and our mind being steadfastly fixed on thankfulness and prayer and excellent and praiseworthy things from above. And even greater then that the promise that the Lord is NEAR! Oh to be in His presence!!! (and to not forget that no matter what we're feeling!) God's perfect peace flows out of all that.

I know this is a very quick and incomplete look into these verses. Yet God has been stirring a longing for His peace within me. And I began to connect some dots in the past few days! I see how it is connected to my state of mind. Beliefs, what fills my mind, keeping God's truth foremost has been a big part of my growth in the past year. I realize the importance of ensuring my mind is fixed fully on the Lord, not allowing any lies from Satan to permeate my mind, not allowing my focus to shift away from the Lord's perfect and pleasing will... I must keep my mind steadfastly stayed on Him alone and I WILL experience His perfect peace.

Thank you for your perfect peace, Lord. (Is. 26:3) My soul clings to You. Your right hand upholds me. (Psalm 63:8) I lay my requests before You and wait in expectation. (Psalm 5:3) Your name and renown is the desire of my heart. (Isaiah 26:8)

Challenge #1 - Eating at "0"

My daily accountability group is doing a week by week challenge covering the eight keys to conscious eating that are unpacked in the Thin Within book. I know that others were doing similar challenges over the past few months at the TW forums and also Heidi highlighted each of the keys on her blog.

What does "0" feel like for me?
"0" or physiological hunger feels like an ache in my belly. I can usually feel it approaching. And then after the ache my stomach usually starts to audibly rumble. Sometimes there is no rumble, but usually the ache. I can tell the difference between hunger and digestion gurgling sounds because first, I know if it is shortly after eating it is clearly digestion, and secondly, the rumbling is a different sort of sound, a lot more urgent sounding (!) and accompanied by that ache. What does hunger feel like for you?

Do I usually eat at "0"?
This is a real challenge for me. I like to make this my aim though I struggle on a daily basis with being consistent. It's amazing how easy it is to slide out of the "routine" of eating at "0." When I'm in the "eating at '0' mode" then it's almost like a rhythm that I'm part of. When I'm out of the routine...well then it's like I'm just completely out of time and out of tune with my body's needs and signals.

I embrace hunger!
I think it is one of the neatest "shadows" of Scriptural truth. We all need food to survive physically. Without food we are weak, malnourished, dying. Physical hunger reminds me that I not only need physical food...but I also need SPIRITUAL food. Without filling up on the Lord, feasting at His table in His word and prayer, abiding and remaining with Him and in step with Him, I am spiritually weak, malnourished and dying. (I just felt that the last day or two as I was seriously lacking a good meal at His table as the busyness of life caught up with me!)

As I authentically open wide my mouth (spiritually speaking) and fill up on the Lord I believe He begins to increase in my life and I begin to decrease. And as I begin to decrease my heart's desire and prayer is that my greed for food and my running to food when I'm NOT at "0" (physically hungry) will also begin to diminish and decrease as well.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Anyone else care to join us in this weekly challenge? We're moving onto Key#2 (Eat in a calm environment by reducing distractions) on Sunday.

The Value of Observations & Corrections

I was just glancing over my food & exercise log from the past year...and I noticed I made A LOT of observations (and noted corrections)... (I clearly NEEDED to given that I went off course so often with 0-5 eating!!!) It was really interesting to quickly glance over this log. I'm glad I documented that portion of my journey. It was a good reminder to myself that I need to ensure I continue to do this on a regular basis, really zoning in on observations/corrections and being transformed by the renewing of my mind by feasting at the Lord's table.

I can see that my whole approach towards eating is so different then it used to be. I am much more intentional and really see the value in planning ahead for challenges I may face with staying in the pleasant God-given 0-5 boundaries (though I far too often fail to pre-plan...notice I said "see the value"...which means I need to apply it more often!).

I also am much more aware of God's continued extension of grace, no matter how many times I "mess up." And I'm also aware that He wants to equip me and fill me up as I turn to Him to satisfy me and supply my needs.

Does this mean I stick 100% with 0-5 eating? Absolutely not! I struggle so much with staying on course, as my accountability buddies well know! But I'm keeping on keeping on! I'm not giving up!

My friend Lundie wrote something so profound to me yesterday which I think is worth passing on to you. In regards to me noting my own attitude of "I've already messed up. So why try to stop? I may as well get what I want now.".... here is the brilliant image Lundie wrote...

I am going to try to think of it in terms as a course correction instead. When I'm driving, and I cross a little too far into the other lane, do I think, "Well! I'm in the wrong lane, I might as well go all the way and drive on the other side of the road!!!". LOL! Nope, I just turn the wheel back and let my car drift back into the right lane.

As I type this out, it gives me a lot of hope that the changes I have experienced this past year will "stick." I have had my share of fears that I will slide back to where I was prior to digging into the TW book over a year ago... But I know God has done a new thing in my heart and my life. Praise God!!!! I continue pressing on, observing and correcting, confessing and repenting to the Lord, seeking to surrender to Him fully! For He has given me hope and future and He continues renewing my strength, being my Hope, helping me run and not grow weary, helping me walk and not grow faint.

Thank you Abba Father, Daddy. I run to You. I long for my soul to always CLING to You. I pray Your right hand would uphold me even in the midst of temptation. Amen.

Life, in a Nutshell

My posting has certainly slowed down lately! I feel a lack of meaningful things to say:-) LOL! Here's a quick update from my end....

Just barely touching the tip of the iceberg with day to day life...

My youngest has been under the weather for the past two weeks. I'm hoping and praying she is on the mend now. This morning she woke up bright and early, came upstairs ALREADY DRESSED, her bed made, was helping herself to breakfast and got her hair and teeth brushed....WITHOUT A WORD FROM ME!!!! Isn't that a miracle! I thought she definitely must be on the mend when I saw that. (She really wanted to go on the computer onto "Webkinz World" before school which I guess motivated her to get ready faster! I'll take that!)

My eldest daughter has had some growing pains in regards to independance issues. She is only 9 years old, but it feels like she is going on 13 years old. But the Lord is good and we are all learning and growing together.

My lunch hour supervision job is going fine. I have my really UP days (like yesterday, when I went on and on to my husband about how much I loved my job and how much I was learning). And then I have my DOWN days when it feels like I know NOTHING at all about problem solving with kids!!!

I am very thankful for a group of ladies who I am journeying with daily. They are such a blessing from the Lord.

As a result of daily accountability and increased support, encouragement, sharpening and prayer, I have found a greater degree of balance and surrender to the Lord in each area of my life: spiritually, physically (with eating and exercise) and emotionally. Praise God.

The Lord has been filling me up each day. It seems He keeps teaching me new things each and every day. I can't help but get excited to hear from Him! Yesterday I stumbled across some familiar verses in Lamentations...

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:22-24

The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him is my prayer this morning. I wait in expectation for all that the Lord has in store for the day! All the things He will teach me. All the words He will speak to me. All the ways He will answer my prayers. All the ways He will use me for His purposes and ways for His glory alone. He alone satisfies. May I decrease and Him INCREASE greatly!

Unique Approach to Chewing Food!

Eating 0-5 can be a real challenge. I can be particularily difficult to always follow each of the keys to conscious eating, aiming to make it essentially the "first meal of the rest of your life" each and every time!

Here's a quick recap of the keys to conscious eating:

• 1. Eat when my body is hungry ("0").
• 2. Eat in a calm environment by reducing distractions.
• 3. Eat when sitting.
• 4. Eat when my body and mind are relaxed.
• 5. Eat and drink the things my body enjoys.
• 6. Pay attention to my food while eating.
• 7. Eat slowly, savoring each bite.
• 8. Stop before my body is full ("5").

The other day at the Thin Within forums an old thread re-surfaced: Any tips on eating slowly?

There was some really useful and interesting stuff posted there. But the post that really grabbed my attention was posted by Lizzy Joy here. She talked about how she finds it helpful to chew to memory verses or to music! I thought that was very unique!

So, I have given it a try this week a few times. The first time I tried chewing in time to memory verses (saying them in my head). That was tough since I say it kind of fast in my head, so I'd end up chewing too fast I found. Of course if I said the verses in my head very meditatively and slowly, reflecting on each word, the pace for chewing may be a little more manageable!

Then I tried chewing to my prayers, basically constant gratitude to the Lord for every bite and for His provisions, chewing in time to each word. That was very beneficial I found.

I also tried chewing to music... I don't think I found the right song yet for that to really work!

In each of the attempts I have found my attention drawn more fully to the Lord and gratitude for His provisions. This is a wonderful thing! I have found eating a much more meditative process.

So, I just thought I'd share these little tidbits with you as I thought they were quite a unique way of approaching chewing food:-) Therefore, even while (or especially while!) eating I cry to the Lord...

Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long. Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, for they are ever with me. Psalm 119:97-98

Waiting in Expectation

Yesterday morning the Lord spoke to me through the following scripture...

Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice. In the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. Psalm 5:1-2

Isn't that beautiful? I love the attitude of waiting in expectation! That's real faith, isn't it?! Just like the verse in Hebrews 11:1 "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I think the word "expectation" reflects being sure of what we hope for.

When Christmas is around the corner, there is LOTS of expectation around our house! The kids know there are lots of special activities, travels to grandparents, yummy food & treats and gifts around the corner! It's always such an exciting time if year, marked with putting up the christmas tree and then often counting down to the special day with an advent calendar. THAT'S expectation! Waiting and KNOWING there are many good things in store!

So when I apply that analogy to my prayers, I get excited! I get excited about answers to prayer. I get excited about God moving and being glorified! Along those lines, here is another verse that spoke to me recently and tucked into my memory:

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. 1 John 5:14-15

Changing gears I little... Today is Ash Wednesday, a very new term for me. I am exploring how I am going to embrace the lent season this year in preparation for Easter...and have an attitude of waiting in expectation. I found a few resources that I think will be helpful along the way, as I stumble along:-) Thanks to Mona for emailing me this link for a lenten reflection guide. I am looking forward to using this on my journey. And then I noticed that BibleGateway has a lent reading plan available here.

I'm looking forward to the journey ahead. I wait in expectation of all the Lord has in store, the ways He will teach me and convict me and grow me!

Filling Up on God

I feel like I've almost fallen off the "blog" wagon:-) It's not like me to miss so many days without posting something of substance! I was almost at the point of shutting down my blog entirely as I felt like such a hypocrite, fool and failure as I continue to struggle with 0-5 eating.

Yet I know that this is part of the journey. And I accept that. And am moving past that one step at a time. The last few days have been going better, for which I'm thankful.

I was going to re-start one of my weight-related books (TW or TLT or Thin Again) but then I felt like God was saying.... "No, just focus on My Word and fill up on Me!" So I'm listening. I'm earnestly seeking Him (Ps. 63:1-2). I'm not going to let the enemy get to me with lies and discouragement.

I've been enjoying such quality time with God lately. I can't begin to say how much that means to me. And I've been memorizing scripture like crazy (like I mentioned in a previous post). It really feels like a MIRACLE to WANT to memorize scripture! I've never experienced the compulsion to memorize like I have lately. I truly don't want that to stop. And the neatest part of all is that these scriptures are beginning to become part of my prayers! This is also very special to me. So, I am thankful for this part of my journey right now. I'm truly finding satisfaction in God and His Word and intimacy with Him.

But oh, what ups and downs with consistent 0-5 eating! I decided the one thing I wanted to keep up was my private paper notebook food/exercise log. This way I can look back on how things are going and see what kinds of patterns are forming and how consistent I am with 0-5 eating etc. So here are my "statistics" (or patterns) for my January eating...

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23% of the time I ate within 0-5 the ENTIRE day, each and every eating occasion (7/30 days).

33% entire days I started at "0" (that is 10/30 days each eating occasion started at "0").

65% eating occasions were within 0-5 (62/96 eating occasions).

75% eating occasions I started at "0" (75/96).

11/30 days I exercised (that is 37%).

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Those may seem like irrelevant statistics! But they mean something to me. I can see so much room for growth!!!

I'm so afraid of returning to the defeated place I was for those 5 years (2002-2007). I long to be victorious and keep my eyes fixed on Him.

One of my ideas for goal setting is:
Aim for one full day of 0-5 eating (did that on Monday). Next, aim for two full days of 0-5 eating (did that on Tuesday and hopefully can say that by the end of today). Next aim for three full days of 0-5 eating. And continue building up the number of consistent days. And re-start each and every time I go off track. I just really need to build consistency into my eating. We'll see if that motivates me and helps me...

I've been seeing commercials lately and hearing people talk about how if they aren't physically hungry they aren't tempted to eat. There was a "Special K Satisfaction"cereal commercial where this lady had eaten her cereal for breakfast and when she was offered the donuts at the office she said "No thank you, I'm not hungry."

I thought to myself, "Am I the only one who is still tempted to eat stuff even when I'm not hungry?" I honestly don't know if I'm in the minority here! If something is tempting me, it really and truly matters very little to me if I'm hungry or not... I'm very weak and could easily dig right in. That is my flesh that quickly can swing into action. It takes an immense amount of self-control and God-focus for me to actually withstand the temptation. It doesn't yet feel natural to me. Once again, I have to wonder if I'm in the minority with this!

I've been challenged over the past few days to take a few of the lessons from this Fall/Winter a step further. As those who have been journeying alongside me know, one of the big themes I've been challenged by is "What lines the walls of my mind?" In other words, what kinds of thoughts/beliefs do I have? Are these thoughts lined up with God's Word, His truth? Next, I must take these thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).

Well, this past week, as I was studying "Living beyond yourself" by Beth Moore, I bumped into the verse, "But we have the mind of Christ." (1 Cor. 2:16) That's a revolutionary thought (make that TRUTH), don't you think!

What would Christ's mind look like? First of all NOTHING sinful would enter it! Secondly, He is ALL truth, perfect, righteous, holy and completely surrendered to the Father...and is in fact God! In other words, His thoughts and actions are PERFECT and HOLY.

So, if I have the mind of Christ....that means my mind should begin to look the same (though I know this will never be fully the case until I reach Heaven)! So when I start to apply taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ, essentially filtering out thoughts that don't line up with God's Word, then I begin to see a very specific picture painted of what my mind should look like...the mind of Christ. Imitate. Be like Jesus. Fix my eyes on Him.

Anyways, all this rambling is to say, that I'm feeling challenged IN ALL AREAS (not just eating related) to put on the mind of Christ, taking every thought captive to Him.

And my first step is to focus in on what God's Word and truth is...filling up on it every chance I get! I'm not giving up! God is doing a good work in me and will bring it to completion (Phil 1:6)! The God of all-grace is equipping me to abound in every good work (2 Cor. 9:8). I am being transformed into His likeness each and every day (2 Cor. 3:18). Praise God for that!

Dear Lord, O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. (Psalm 63:1-8) In Jesus name, Amen.

Following in Daddy's Footsteps

"So I say, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature... Since you live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." Galatians 5:16 & 25

What does "living by the Spirit" and keeping in "step with the Spirit" look like? That's the big question I've been pondering. And an image is beginning to emerge.

Me, God's little girl, following Him through each step and moment of life.

So, where do these steps lead, I wonder?

I think they lead to dying to self. "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Mark 8:34

Oohh. That sounds scary, doesn't it?! Certainly sounds painful.

What comfort can I take in this path?

That Christ lives in me (Gal. 2:20). That God is greater than he that is in this world (1 Jn 4:4). That He is doing a good work in me and bringing it to completion (Phil 1:6). That these light and momentary troubles are preparing me for a glory that far outweighs them all (2 Cor. 4:17). That Daddy, Abba Father, CARES for me and LOVES me and heaps all the GRACE imaginable on me. He protects me, is my fortress, my refuge, my comfort, my sustainer, my peace, my joy, my strength... And the list could go on and on!

Down to the practicality of following in Daddy's footsteps. What does that look like in everyday life?

SURRENDER is the answer that came to mind. As I go about my daily life I choose to abide with Christ and be surrendered to Him and to the Holy Spirit's leading.

Do I eat when I'm not hungry? Do I eat past full? Or am I eating in moderation, not making an idol out of food (Col 3:5) and being content with my portion (Psalm 16:5-6)? Am I opening wide my mouth so that He can fill it, filling up on God Himself and His words(Psalm 81:10)?

REFLECTION: I have been more consistent with hunger/fullness this past week, praise God. But I still have seen the seeds of greed creep up (I must confess tonight was probably the toughest one over the past five days). And my weight has certainly NOT been reflecting a surrendered heart in this area. However I have been HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY for God's word and for memorizing scripture (this is very new to me and quite shocking actually...definitely a God-thing!).

Do I say those juicy words of gossip? Do I speak those cutting words that would feel so good in the moment but be so destructive in the long run? Do I speak mindlessly and thoughtlessly? Or is my conversation full of grace and seasoned with salt? (Col. 4:6) Am I saying words that are helpful for building others up? (Eph. 4:29)

REFLECTION: I have been very conscious of the times that I have slipped up in this area this week. I have had to run to the Lord for forgiveness quite a few times unfortunately. I've been very conscious of my speech with my kids and husband, being much more vigilant and alert to the enemy's attacks and temptations. As a result I've noticed I, through God's grace and power, have been able to be more patient and loving with my kids. I know this greatly benefits them in the long run.

Do I spend the extra money on myself and turn a blind eye to the poor and needy? Or do I sacrifice just a small bit of our luxury and indulgences to help someone in much more dire need then me (Isaiah 58:7, 10)?

REFLECTION: I don't feel good about my spending lately. I'm so behind on my budgetting updates. And I don't feel good about how much I contribute to those in need. On the flip side, we booked our tickets to Mexico for summer and will once again go, as a family, to help out at the orphanage and in their community. This gets me pretty excited! My heart's desire is that we can help those in need more and more and more and more and more...and focus on our own comforts and stuff less and less and less and less!!!

Do I spend my free time in front of the TV or computer and ignore filling up on Him and His word? Or am I filling up my mind and heart with His word, feasting on God Himself (Psalm 63)?

REFLECTION: This week has gone better in that department then a lot of other weeks. I've stayed away from the computer for the most part. Just spent a few minutes each day checking email and reading a couple blog posts. And I really didn't even watch TV. It was good to spend more time with the Lord as a result. He was my Satisfaction this week.

Choices... So many choices.

And thoughts... So many thoughts.

Each moment, of each day, I have thoughts which lead me to either continue following in Daddy's footsteps OR tempt me to take the fork in the road and gratify the desires of my sinful flesh.

Each thought must be taken captive and made obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). Every thought must line up with God's truth. I need to filter each thought, asking if this is "right" in God's eyes. The Holy Spirit will empower me not to gratify those desires as I allow Him to "filter" those thoughts.

As I surrender to His leading and prompting I continue following in Daddy's footsteps. What a beautiful picture for me to dwell on. I do SO trust my Daddy Abba Father and want to please Him. But oh how hard that can be! I'll close with one of my latest favorite verses, which has greatly encouraged me...

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8

Thank you Lord for not leaving me to just wave about on my own, trying to fill your big footsteps! Thank you for equipping me! Thank you for your Holy Spirit leading the way! And thank you for lovingly walking alongside me through this entire journey of life leading to eternity spent with You! What amazing grace and love! Amen.

Taking a break

I am feeling called to strip away some of my favorite things this coming week...and blogging just happens to be one of them. So, I'll be away for a bit with the desire, hope and intention to spend more time filling up on Him.

Heart of Worship

Legalism vs Freedom

My surrender journey took a more intense turn about one year ago, starting February 3rd 2008. I was 172 lbs one year ago and now am 153-155lbs. Prasie God for that miracle! Looking back I wanted to share one thing that has changed in the past 6 months in particular.

I was first introduced to hunger/fullness eating in 1998 through Weigh Down. As I remember the few years from 1998-2001, when I was more on track with hunger/fullness eating, I can see that legalism was completely holding me captive. I may have lost 50 lbs, but I was living in a prison of my own making.

My typical menu:
Breakfast: I'd start off the day with a small bowl of cereal or a yogurt and fruit (both healthy and delicious choices, clearly). I didn't go off course with these "safe" choices, because then I wouldn't "know" when I'd be hungry next...
Lunch: I'd usually have a piece of toast with cheese and a piece of fruit or I'd have another bowl of cereal with bananas and raisins. I'd very very very very rarely go off of those menu items.
Supper: Everything was up for grabs because I didn't have to worry about timing as much. I was not very conscious of what it felt like to stop at satisfaction.

I knew an apple would take me an hour to digest. A bowl of cereal would take 3 hours. etc. I was bound to a whole new "diet"! I feared trying new things because I didn't want any guess work with regards to when I'd be hungry. I dreaded going out with friends and encountering "different" choices.

This approach towards "timing" foods is still necessary at times I must admit. It helps with pre-planning, particularily when I want to be hungry for a special meal etc. However, it also can become a hinderance as I really wasn't FREE!

Since Summer '08 I feel there has been a marked difference in my approach towards eating. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my kids are in school full time so I have more flexibility with my eating? I feel a degree of *relaxing* into hunger/fullness eating. I have experimented more with what I like and don't like, what I'm craving etc. It's been good.

Of course this has also come at a cost as I have struggled to be consistent with 0-5 eating. It's tough to patiently wait for hunger when Idon't know how long I'll have to wait! Regardless, it has taught me many lessons...

I have learned not to actually focus on the food as much. That may seem strange because all of a sudden my menu options have expanded (though I do go in spurts with certain foods day after day...yet I'm not afraid to try new things now)! Somehow being free to choose has helped me focus on the present more. Hmmm...as I write this it seems a strange paradox!

Somehow being free to choose WHAT I eat has freed me to NOT think about food as much! And in the process my focus has shifted away from "controlling" my eating to focussing on feasting on God's word and on Him and leaning on Him.

So, despite the weight fluctuation in the past couple months I can truly say God has His hand in this, doing a "good work" in me. I can see some rhyme and reason to the past few months :-)

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:31-33

Seek first his kingdom... Somehow true freedom and satisfaction is found when we seek God. I guess that makes sense since this is the way God "wired us" and made us. We were made to glorify Him and seek Him. Nothing else will click with us like that! When I seek to control my life~my eating, my finances, my friendships, my family, my work, my schedule....my focus often veers far from God's purposes and will and His best.

Excuses

I have been feeling a little discouraged lately with regards to my eating. I often want to make excuses....

• It's hard around my birthday and valentines day.
• It's hard around halloween.
• It's hard around christmas.
• It's hard during summer vacation and travelling.

Oh the list could go on and on and on, couldn't it!!! It's never easy! It's hard to stay within 0-5 eating boudaries, especially for a full day! But oh so rewarding when we persevere!

I've been struggling, in particular since halloween I'd say. It felt like a slippery slope that I just kept sliding and sliding down and down and down into the muck and mire!

Today didn't start off fabulous in regards to eating. In fact I felt on the greedy side as I took a second scone at our ladies bible study meeting. I had missed breakfast as I knew my friend was bringing these scones especially as a treat to celebrate my bday.... Yet another excuse, isn't it! I didn't eat past #5, but know that I could easily have been content and satisfied with simply one.

However midafternoon I felt wonderfully hungry! Yes, WONDERFULLY hungry! I love that feeling...at least when I know that it is within my "control" to eat something! I probably wouldn't like or relish that feeling if I had been deprived of food. But for me hunger is getting in tune with my body's needs.

I was on the phone with a friend, so I postponed eating for about an hour. Then I wasn't sure when to eat...wait for supper or have a little snack???

I decided to spend some time feeding on God's word and praying first. Now, that was a step in the right direction for me. Praise God!!! He certainly met me there. Oh how I long to do that more often!

Then I moved into eating an early supper. I relished and savoured that meal. Thanks, Lord!

So, why on earth do I CONSTANTLY make excuses??? It drives me nuts!! Imagine how God feels...

I guess, if I look at it from the perspective of dying to self I can say that DEATH IS PAINFUL. It hurts to cut lose all the sinful habits that I cling to. Yet I cling to the truth that Christ lives in me. He doesn't leave me to wallow in the pain of death...but rather brings me life, hope and future!

For...."I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

So I fix my eyes and continue to focus on the Lord with the desire for more of Him and less of me... I long to delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on it day and night. I desire to be a tree of righteousness, planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. (Ps. 1:1-3) And I continue taking one step at a time...

I will remember the truth that the ONE who lives inside of me is GREATER than the one who is in this world (1 John 4:4)

I'M NOT GIVING UP!

For I know that God hasn't given up on me!

Thanks, Lord!

Focus

Isn't this a freaky picture?!! I found it very hard to focus:-)

On Friday I was watching a christian TV talk show and one of the guests was a man named "The Diet Doc", Dr. Joe. I watched, curious to see what he would have to say and to hear a christian perspective to weight loss. I was so saddened as I watched the program unfold as they interviewed this fellow.

First and foremost nowhere did I hear that he is a believer (nor did I find it anywhere on his webpage that he is a christian)... I'm figuring he must be a christian if they are interviewing him on a christian program???

Secondly, everything was about following plans, rules, regulations, watching carbs, watching calories, watching what we eat....all focussed on FOOD! Nothing was addressed in regards to emotions, spiritual well being....focussing on God or His Word!

Then one of the talk show hosts continued to share how she had lost 60 lbs over the course of the past 10 years. And what followed was lots of congratulations and pats on the back, "Good job. What hard work. You did good. etc."~you get the idea. She looked very proud of herself...granted, I'm not going to judge her and her journey from that snapshot.

But the sad thing was that not ONCE was God glorified in the process...not once was any praise given to God for even something as simple as giving her a way out of temptation....not once was God given any air time. Oh how sad. I walked away quite shocked actually! The importance of THIS scripture was missed...

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the GLORY OF GOD. 1 Corinthians 10:31

God doesn't want us to keep Him out of this area of our life. I loved the way TLT (day 48) reflected that our need for food/physical nourishment is a shadow of the reality that we need spiritual food/nourishment. We NEED God MORE then we even need food! Imagine that! I know I certainly need Him every moment of every day!!! I am very weak and have many fleshly lusts that draw my focus away from my Greatest Treasure, Jesus Christ.

"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit..." Romans 1:17

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:31-34

I choose to fix my eyes and FOCUS on Jesus! (Hebrews 12:2)

The Lord's Table~final review

Well, I have reached the conclussion of TLT workbook study. What an awesome study! (As noted before: I did not follow the eating schedule, but rather simply ate 0-5 within hunger/fullness boundaries.)

In regards to weight release...I started TLT back on November 23rd 2008 at 153 lbs....and I have ended TLT today, on January 21st and am 153 lbs, within my BMI range (on my scale at least:-)! I'm okay with that! I'm obviously in a bit of a maintenance mode phase right now and that is a good thing. That is a whole new lesson in and of itself for me!

I can hardly begin to express all that I have learned! As I look back it is such an incredible journey I've been on:-)

Here are the TOP TEN thing I've learned...

1.) My motivation for losing weight needs to be for the glory of God alone.

2.) As I open wide my mouth, that I'm actually opening my ears and listening to His Word. As I pray and read the bible and listen to the Lord He fills me up! Him fillings me up truly meets the desires of my heart! Jesus and His words are the Living Water. I want to drink of the pure, refreshing source rather then a mucky mud puddle!

3.) Broken, helpless and contrite before the Lord is a good place to be, because I will depend on God so much more, and He will lift me up out of the muck and the mire and set my feet on solid ground! I can in no way claim glory for myself when I am depending on Him!

4.) Over the past two months, I have been "putting on" reading God's word, spending time with Him, praising Him, getting back to the basics of 0-5 eating. I'm still working on the "putting off" area!

5.) I've been reminded of the importance of the concept of confession and repentance and have come to truly appreciate the Thin Within concept of observation and correction. I want to do much much more of that!

6.) Just as the Israelites were ready for flight when they were leaving Egypt...so do I! I need to remember to fill up on God's word and spend time in prayer and praise prior to battle! And for me there are countless battles...some so small and some large! Battles all the same! I need to remember prayer and praise precede victory!

7.) I was reminded of the value of being intentional and pre-planning for trials. I must watch and pray as Jesus commanded. There are many links in the chain that leads to sin. Another way of putting it is there are many rungs to the ladder...I must not let Satan get even one foothold! I need to watch out for those steps, those links in the chain and break them as I drag every known sin into the Light!

8.) This study also reminded me how I must make my body a slave to Christ--my thoughts, my eating, my exercise, my words, my actions....

9.) Another key truth that has been hitting me over these months as I did this study are lining up my thoughts with God's word. Combatting a known beilef/lie/trigger with what God says. Then present it to God so the thoughts are in submission to God and His word. I must meditate on His word, fill up on good and excellent things and do His will.

10.) It is so important to stick close to Jesus, sitting at His feet and abiding in Him, fixing my eyes on Him alone. When I focus on Jesus I am sitting at His feet, abiding in Him, listening to him, humbly receiving His words, not pridefully harboring sin, but rather humble. When I fix my eyes on Jesus I'm focussing on seeking first His kingdom not on sin and my selfish wants and desires and fleshly lusts. When I fix my eyes on Jesus lies are automatically lined up with the His truth! He forgives. He loves. He frees. He teaches. He equips. He gives us His promises. He makes me into a new creation.

In conclussion the changes that have taken place in my heart and life are that I'm hungry for God's Word---REALLY hungry! That is a huge answer to prayer and I pray this continues! I can see how important it is to sit at Jesus' feet and fix my eyes on Him and fill up on Him and His Word. What a joy this has been! All praise and glory to God for the good work He has been doing in my life...

The Lord's Table~Day 55 through 60

Day 55~All Food is Acceptable

I think the title of this lesson is self-explanatory!

"Are you so dull?" he asked. "Don't you see that nothing that enters a man from the outside can make him 'unclean'? For it doesn't go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body." (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods "clean.") He went on: "What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' " Mark 7:18-23

The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. 1 Timothy 4:1-5

Let us be people who eat whatever we want with rejoicing and thanksgiving, worshipping God in our hearts, remembering to be moderate in the amount that we eat. This is what honors the Lord and provides spiritual and physical health. TLT workbook pg180


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Day 56~How to Lose Weight...Worship

Though we will never hear this from the world, becoming free from overeating is a matter of learning how to enjoy the Lord. Freedom comes from learning how to drink Him in, how to quench our thirst in Him, how to feast our souls on Him. It is impossible to enjoy sin and enjoy teh Lrod at the same time, and those who are learning to nourish their souls and quench their thirst in Jesus are done with overeating. TLT workbook pg182

Joe writes: "The result of pursing food was weight gain, the result of pursing God is gaining a relationship with Him and learning to rely on Him." TLT workbook pg182

The four principles unpacked in this lesson are:

1. Focus: fix my eyes on Christ
2. Bow: surrender and submit to His Lordship
3. Offer: give myself to Him as a living sacrifice.
4. Enjoy: take pleasure in God and His Word.

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Day 57~Losing Weight By Delighting in the Lord

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

God will give us the desires of our heart because He will be the desire of our hearts. TLT workbook pg184

The whole key is to find ways in which our hearts rejoice in the Lord, and then explore new methods of making ourselves happy in Him. TLT workbook pg185

I desire to dwell on God's word and grow deep roots to feed upon His Word, just like I wrote about in my last post. I will delight in the Lord and find my Greatest Treasure as I return to God and turn away from sin.

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Day 58~Praise Brings Victory

An interesting story from 2 Chronicles was unpacked in this lesson. The Israelites were in battle. Jehoshaphat was the leader of God's people. And as he sought the Lord for help in the battle this is what is written...

This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. 2 Chronicles 20:15

After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: "Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever." 2 Chronicles 20:21

Did you notice the singers were teh ones who led the way?! I thought that was such a cool observation that was noted in the TLT study.

Focussing on God, His strength and power, His purposes, His sovereignty...rather then myself...reflects SURRENDER to Him! It also reflects trust and dependance on Him.

Here are some ideas on how to put this into practice (a brief summary of what was noted on pg 189 of the workbook)

• Create and seek to get away to a secret place of devotion with the Lord....make your heart glad in Him.
• Using a hymnal or praise song book read the words and sing the songs.
• Learn to use every temptation from the evil one as a stimulus to turn your heart toward praising God.
• Let it become an automatic response, over time, that when you receive bad news, you instantly worship the Lord.
• Learn to know when you fail the most, and prepare in advance to praise the Lrod instead of gratifying your flesh...preplan your victory... So we must learn to recognize the usual times when we fail, and replace them with pre-scheduled praising of the Lord.
• Count your blessings.
• Listen to music that lifts your heart in praise to God.

I loved all of the above ideas. I personally would like to carve out more times to play the piano and sing in worship to the Lord. It fills the sails of my heart as I praise the Lord:-)

Later in this lesson it was noted how prayer and praise preceded victory and freedom for Paul and Silas when they were supernaturally released from prison.

Here's a worthy goal that Mona writes about on pg 190: "Instead of eating out of habit, I will replace that with praising Him out of habit."

Day 59 & 60 were review days.... I'll write a bit about that in the next post.

A Deeply Rooted Tree

I love going for walks along the river banks in our city. There is usually a lush green grassy area and then closer to the river, in a lower spot, there is a mucky area (only wet mucky in the spring season) where the river levels were higher during the spring melt. Not much grass grows in those areas because our growing season up here in the Canadians prairies is relatively short. However, what DOES flourish in this "mucky" area are the TREES! They are absolutely MASSIVE! So, when the mud dries up after the spring melt, then my husband and I love to go for bike rides along those dirt paths near the river. We admire the strong hardy trees. Oftentimes the roots are exposed...and we have to watch for the gnarled roots popping up on our path!

Summer '07 we took a trip down the west coast and enjoyed the beauty of God's creation along the way. Some of the trees we saw in Oregon and California were absolutely unbelievable! One of our favorite campsites was in Oregon, at Beverly Beach, close to Newport. We had this beautiful stream flowing right behind our campsite and it was so lush and green and the trees were absolutely stunning.

Right in our campsite. Those are quite the trees to attach a clothesline to, aren't they?! Absolutely massive!

The massive size of our "clothesline" trees in our campsite in perspective next to the kids.

A really cool tree we actually DROVE THROUGH in northern California! Very interesting experience! And an ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE TREE!

I want to be like those trees!

Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
Psalm 1:1-3

I want to "delight" in God's Word (like streams of water or the river that I mentioned above) and be nourished spiritually, rooted and built up in Him (Col. 2:6-7). I want to yield fruit, more specifically the fruits of the spirit~love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22-24).


The trees stretch so tall, seemingly almost to the sky. The thickness of the solid tree trunk is unbelievable...so sturdy, so hardy, so ancient. The roots of the trees twist this way and that...but they gravitate towards the stream. They soak up the nourishment. They grow strong. In the springtime and summer they are lush and green and sweet smelling. They stand the test of the storms, drought, heat, cold and time. It's hard to miss them as we walk along those river banks! And it's hard not to think of my Creator when I see these trees. They point straight to the awesomeness of God!


That's the way I want to be. I want to be a planting for the display of the Lord's splendor just like those trees, as He nourishes me, grows me, protects me, teaches me, equips me. I want to point other's to the Creator, my Lord! That is my prayer today.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
Isaiah 61:3