Filling Up on God

I feel like I've almost fallen off the "blog" wagon:-) It's not like me to miss so many days without posting something of substance! I was almost at the point of shutting down my blog entirely as I felt like such a hypocrite, fool and failure as I continue to struggle with 0-5 eating.

Yet I know that this is part of the journey. And I accept that. And am moving past that one step at a time. The last few days have been going better, for which I'm thankful.

I was going to re-start one of my weight-related books (TW or TLT or Thin Again) but then I felt like God was saying.... "No, just focus on My Word and fill up on Me!" So I'm listening. I'm earnestly seeking Him (Ps. 63:1-2). I'm not going to let the enemy get to me with lies and discouragement.

I've been enjoying such quality time with God lately. I can't begin to say how much that means to me. And I've been memorizing scripture like crazy (like I mentioned in a previous post). It really feels like a MIRACLE to WANT to memorize scripture! I've never experienced the compulsion to memorize like I have lately. I truly don't want that to stop. And the neatest part of all is that these scriptures are beginning to become part of my prayers! This is also very special to me. So, I am thankful for this part of my journey right now. I'm truly finding satisfaction in God and His Word and intimacy with Him.

But oh, what ups and downs with consistent 0-5 eating! I decided the one thing I wanted to keep up was my private paper notebook food/exercise log. This way I can look back on how things are going and see what kinds of patterns are forming and how consistent I am with 0-5 eating etc. So here are my "statistics" (or patterns) for my January eating...

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23% of the time I ate within 0-5 the ENTIRE day, each and every eating occasion (7/30 days).

33% entire days I started at "0" (that is 10/30 days each eating occasion started at "0").

65% eating occasions were within 0-5 (62/96 eating occasions).

75% eating occasions I started at "0" (75/96).

11/30 days I exercised (that is 37%).

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Those may seem like irrelevant statistics! But they mean something to me. I can see so much room for growth!!!

I'm so afraid of returning to the defeated place I was for those 5 years (2002-2007). I long to be victorious and keep my eyes fixed on Him.

One of my ideas for goal setting is:
Aim for one full day of 0-5 eating (did that on Monday). Next, aim for two full days of 0-5 eating (did that on Tuesday and hopefully can say that by the end of today). Next aim for three full days of 0-5 eating. And continue building up the number of consistent days. And re-start each and every time I go off track. I just really need to build consistency into my eating. We'll see if that motivates me and helps me...

I've been seeing commercials lately and hearing people talk about how if they aren't physically hungry they aren't tempted to eat. There was a "Special K Satisfaction"cereal commercial where this lady had eaten her cereal for breakfast and when she was offered the donuts at the office she said "No thank you, I'm not hungry."

I thought to myself, "Am I the only one who is still tempted to eat stuff even when I'm not hungry?" I honestly don't know if I'm in the minority here! If something is tempting me, it really and truly matters very little to me if I'm hungry or not... I'm very weak and could easily dig right in. That is my flesh that quickly can swing into action. It takes an immense amount of self-control and God-focus for me to actually withstand the temptation. It doesn't yet feel natural to me. Once again, I have to wonder if I'm in the minority with this!

I've been challenged over the past few days to take a few of the lessons from this Fall/Winter a step further. As those who have been journeying alongside me know, one of the big themes I've been challenged by is "What lines the walls of my mind?" In other words, what kinds of thoughts/beliefs do I have? Are these thoughts lined up with God's Word, His truth? Next, I must take these thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).

Well, this past week, as I was studying "Living beyond yourself" by Beth Moore, I bumped into the verse, "But we have the mind of Christ." (1 Cor. 2:16) That's a revolutionary thought (make that TRUTH), don't you think!

What would Christ's mind look like? First of all NOTHING sinful would enter it! Secondly, He is ALL truth, perfect, righteous, holy and completely surrendered to the Father...and is in fact God! In other words, His thoughts and actions are PERFECT and HOLY.

So, if I have the mind of Christ....that means my mind should begin to look the same (though I know this will never be fully the case until I reach Heaven)! So when I start to apply taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ, essentially filtering out thoughts that don't line up with God's Word, then I begin to see a very specific picture painted of what my mind should look like...the mind of Christ. Imitate. Be like Jesus. Fix my eyes on Him.

Anyways, all this rambling is to say, that I'm feeling challenged IN ALL AREAS (not just eating related) to put on the mind of Christ, taking every thought captive to Him.

And my first step is to focus in on what God's Word and truth is...filling up on it every chance I get! I'm not giving up! God is doing a good work in me and will bring it to completion (Phil 1:6)! The God of all-grace is equipping me to abound in every good work (2 Cor. 9:8). I am being transformed into His likeness each and every day (2 Cor. 3:18). Praise God for that!

Dear Lord, O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. (Psalm 63:1-8) In Jesus name, Amen.