So many questions...

I just finished watching 100 Huntley Street and a young man was on, speaking about adopting children from China and about his family starting up summer camps in China for orphans. Here is a link to the ministry that God has birthed.

Oh, how my heart aches and my eyes spill over with tears.

I am left with such big gaping questions... Where is God leading me? our family? What am I called to do? What am I being prepared for?

I want to be obedient to the Lord's leading. I want to step out of time.

These verses continue to resonate with me....

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Isaiah 58:6-7

Oh Lord, please reveal Your will to me. Please guide my steps, be a lamp to my feet. Amen.

New Perspective on Fasting

This morning my husband highlighted a passage in Isaiah that I had read before and even highlighted previously on my blog because of the message contained in it about being a well-watered garden...

However my husband brought to light a new perspective on Isaiah 58 that I hadn't really considered all that much...that God wants our times of fasting to benefit the needy and oppressed. (I guess this was unpacked a little bit in The Lord's Table study when it unpacked fasting on day 4, emphasizing it was to be other-centered...but it didn't quite hit me the way it did today!)

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.

Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings. Isaiah 58:6-12

I began to think about the heartbeat of God, how He truly desires us to care for the hungry, naked, poor, needy and oppressed. He is really driving that home to both Jon and I lately...and we are having a hard time knowing what to do with this message He keeps impressing on us! Anyways, God will make all things clear in time. We'll just keep on listening and being open to His will for our lives.


In the meantime, the above passage brought up an interesting idea. We've been thinking about lent lately. I have to confess I've only once participated in any kind of fasting during lent...and at the time I had no clue it was related to lent! I had taken a 40 day fast from TV about 10 years ago, as our pastor challenged the congregation to fast from something of value to each of us individually. I remember it being a very special and powerful time and definitely drew me closer to the Lord.

I am feeling called to embrace this season this year, though still know very little about it I must once again confess. I'm trying to figure out what God is calling me to fast from this upcoming lent season. I have some ideas but will keep them private at this time.

But one thing in regards to fasting from food struck me as I read this passage today...

When I fast from food and give up a meal, wouldn't it be great if it would DIRECTLY benefit the poor and needy?!

So Jon and I took a look at our regular grocery spending budget and figured $1/person/meal per day was a fair guess-timate of our spending. The idea I have is to fast (as the Lord directs me) and directly place $1/person/meal (or some kind of paper substitute for ease of use) every time my husband or I fast from a meal. The next step will be to deduct the amount of $$'s in that jar from my grocery spending budget and DIRECTLY put it towards those who are poor, needy or oppressed. We'll figure out that part later, as the Lord leads!

This idea really resonated with me because it lines up so beautifully with the above scripture passage.

Another idea we had was to broaden our kid's (and our) perspective of poverty/needs for a solid week in the upcoming lent season. We thought maybe our breakfast/suppers could reflect a typical meal for a person in a 3rd world country. We'll try to carve out what that could look like for our family...

God has just given us so many blessings. It is hard to even comprehend all the "stuff" we have been blessed with. We take it all so for granted and expect these "luxuries" to be "necessities" often times. Often times we become so self-preoccupied and self-centered that we feel independant of God, with no need for Him, self-sufficient... We forget WHOSE hand these gifts and blessings comes from. Maybe this is why it is so difficult for the rich to enter the kingdom of heaven???

Anyways, I should stop rambling! I'm excited about the month or so ahead. I am actually looking forward to hearing what God wants me to lay aside and strip away. I pray that God will use these baby steps to glorify Him and teach me, humble me, convict me and draw me into a deeper and closer relationship with Him. I pray that He will be magnified and glorified in all I say, do, pray, think...


I pray that He will increase....and I will decrease (1 John 4:4). Amen.

Oh...and one more thing... I have already decided that I will "fast" from using the scale for the season of lent! I know that may sound weird to some! I usually step on the scale daily. I know my temptation would be to see a correlation between fasting and my weight to be intertwined... But I want whatever sacrifices are made to be made with the right motivation and intentions, to be solely focussed on Him and His glory and purposes. I don't want to be side-tracked:-)

New Years Resolution: Christ Lives in Me

NOTE: my laptop keyboard went wonky in the middle of typing up this post, so some of the punctuation just didn`t work properly.

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Once again I am hearing God speak to me through a variety of sources all at once, which I think is so much more then a coincidence:-) Praise Him!

First of all the thing that hit me in today's TLT reading (day 37) was the verse:

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified. It is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me. My old self is killed. My new self is Christ abiding in me.

Then I moved to my Breaking Free study, focussing on Isaiah 58:6-12.

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

I remember studying this very passage in TLT on day 4. This is when I began to get the image of the well-watered garden. But I must take that portion of scripture a step further and see what precedes the well-watered garden image...

"If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed..." v. 9-10

I think I could sum up that portion saying that throwing off all hinderances (yokes of oppression) and becoming other-centered is the key to finding satisfaction in God and being like a well-watered garden.

Becoming other-centered... Something I have felt tugging at my heart the past couple weeks. Isn`t that what my reflection about being effective and productive and brotherly kindness and love being the key in 1 Peter 1:5-8 was all about just a week ago.

Beth Moore writes, based on this Isaiah 58 passage:

He promises that those who empty themselves of other pleasures will have themselves filled by something only He can give... If we pour out our lives to satisfy the needs of the oppressed, God will be faithful to satisfy our needs... Oh how I pray we will each discover glorious satisfaction in Christ; but when it's the real thing, we must find a place to pour the overflow of our lives. Captives truly set free are the most compassionate people in the world... A ministry to the truly oppressed helps purify our serving motives. You see, they don't have much to give back. Breaking Free workbook pg 215-216

Then I decided to continue doing a little reading from Philippians and what should I read but...

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:4-11

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

And then the passage moves into a description of Jesus' humility, obedience to God, sacrifice, other-centeredness.

After I finished my devotion time this morning I began mulling this all over in my head and the dots began to connect.

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. (Phil. 2:4) The satisfied soul is never a more beautiful display of God's splendor than when willing to empty self for the lives of others. (Beth Moore) I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. (Gal. 2:20)

Be like Jesus. Be other-centered for the glory of God. And the key is CHRIST LIVES IN ME! I am a new creation. My old self is crucified.

So, time for application and reflection on these truths.

This past year has been a lot of hard work, digging down deep and uncovering many of the lies and muck and gunk of the habitual sin of overeating. In the process I have uncovered some of the ``spoils`` from the battles. I need to ``snatch the plunder`` as Beth Moore so wonderfully describes in another chapter of Breaking Free.

There are spoils to be taken. Beloved, have you got them. When you went into that terrible valley of suffering did you come out with spoils. When that injury struck you and you thought everything was gone, did you so trust in God that you came out richer than when you went in. To be more than conqueror is to take the spoils from the enemy and appopriate them to yourself. What he had arranged for your overthrow, take and appropriate for yourself. Mrs. Charles E. Cowman (as quoted in Breaking Free workbook pg 212)

I can see some of the `spoils`of the battle for me are a much greater understanding and application of the truth of Scripture. I can see that I have grown greatly over this past year as I have gone into battle head on. I can see that I have been equipped and prepared to be used by God for greater purposes. I have discovered a hunger and thirst for the Word of God that I have never experienced so intensely before. And I have noticed that I have had so many opportunities over the past few months where this knowledge of Scripture has began to be used for God`s glory.

I want to continue becoming more rooted in the Word of God and in my relationship with Him and effective at using and applying and being a doer of His Word.

I desire to bring God glory by encouraging believers with the word of God and by drawing unbelievers to Jesus with the Word of God.

I greatly value each of the ladies I journey with online. I have so much appreciated the sharpening of each other`s faith that has been mutual. I have been blessed greatly by many of you and want to do the same in return in the upcoming year.

I am embarking on leading a bible study with a group of ladies starting this upcoming month. This is definitely out of my comfort zone as I haven`t done this very often. But I`m so excited to see all that God has in store for this journey in the year ahead. I long to pour myself into others more effectively and frequently and be used by the Lord for His glory.

My heart`s desire is also to return to Mexico this summer and once again reach out to the oppressed and hungry and needy. Jon and I are talking and trying to figure out where God is leading us. We certainly have a better idea of how to reach out more effectively to the families and community we visitted last year. We continue praying on this front.

I have a heart for evangelism and outreach. I find it interesting to note the ladies that He has brought into my life this fall. Two muslim ladies have been on my heart this fall and I`ve had some powerful and lovely visits with them, often quoting Scripture as I have felt the Lord prompting. Isn`t God awesome! And there are so many other ladies in my community who need the Lord. I know I have limitted time and energy, but I pray that God continues directing me where He desires me to place my energies and then that His Holy Spirit would empower me to make the most of each of these opportunities for God`s glory.

I desire and long to be the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing (2 Cor. 2:15)

Be like Jesus. Be other-centered to the glory of God the Father. And the key is CHRIST LIVES IN ME! Now that is a poweful new year`s resolution!

HAPPY NEW YEARS to each and every one of you dear friends!

Struggling to be Consistent

I've really been struggling with consistent 0-5 eating for the past month or so. I know the downward spiral began around halloween with all the chocolates in the house. And it has continued to be a challenge to manage my sugar cravings with holiday treats and so on.

I think the TLT approach to eating has also contributed to a bit of the yo-yoing I've been doing. I had initially rejected the TLT study due to the extremely structured nature of the eating schedule - liquids, half days, normal days and fast days. When it came to my attention that I could follow 0-5 eating while doing TLT I decided it was worth pursuing. But I have to admit I have yo-yoed here and there, dabbling in the TW eating approach and then the TLT eating approach and then back again etc.

What I really felt convicted of today, as I looked at a shockingly high # on my scale, is to simply focus on consistency in 0-5 eating rather then getting swayed this way and that by the eating schedule of TLT program (which I am CERTAIN has its time and place and helps many people as they seek to surrender eating to the Lord). All I know is the gracious approach that TW endorses following 0-5 eating in surrender to the Lord has completely resonated with me. And I feel that I should primarily be aiming for the TW approach to eating.

So I move forward with this as my aim.

Consistency. No exceptions.

Fill up on God. Get fat on Jesus:-) I want this filling up to occur throughout the entire day, moment by moment, particularily in the midst of temptation.

Eat only when hungry, savouring the food and follow keys to conscious eating. Stop when satisfied.

Simple as that.

I know that I need to keep calling out to God throughout this whole process, looking to Him to satisfy me, the Living Water. If He calls me to fast I need to listen. If He calls me to stop in the middle of a cookie, I need to listen (as Paula wonderfully modelled today!). If I'm tired I need to find something other then a handful of candy to relax and rejuvenate me.

With that being said I think it is time for something that has worked for me in the past few months~another three day challenge for myself. Three days of no exceptions! (That's tough as I enter the weekend!)

So here I go planning for a few "trials" or challenges that will be ahead of me the upcoming three days, for which I will give account afterwards.

Today (Thursday):
I'm already hungry for supper but will wait until supper is ready in an hour. I will ask the Lord to help me discern how to eat a moderate amount. I should probably be going straight to a time of prayer and bible reading right about now!

Friday:
I'm volunteering for a school field trip. I hope to be hungry prior to heading to the school. If I'm not hungry I'll just bring along a granola bar or something quick to eat on the bus or at our destination.

In the evening we are heading to a buffet restaurant with some friends. I will just need to focus on keys to conscious eating, leaning on the Lord throughout. And I will need to avoid eating when I get home, when I'm kicking back my feet and relaxing! I think even holding our guinea pigs in my lap while watching a TV show could help me stay away from food and also satisfy my likely desire to veg a little.

Saturday:
Apart from the usual challenges to follow 0-5, the other hurdle that I may face is simply being hungry in time for the scheduled pizza supper during our drama dress rehearsal. I should be able to manage that, in the Lord's strength of course, if I'm not greedy for food earlier in the day. And then, after our church play performance, I should probably stay away from the refreshments and focus on the purpose of the time, which is to visit and mingle with friends and families. Plus we'll need to get the kids back home and into bed after a long tiring day so we won't stick around long. Next hurdle will likely be the tiredness that I will likely be feeling when I get home late in the evening after about 8 hours with 40 children and performing etc! I know I need to pray about this one in advance as this will be a very long and tiring day.

Sunday:
Usual daily challenges I will face. Just one step at a time with the Lord's help and strength. And once again a late night due to the second christmas drama performance in the evening. So I'll likely be feeling just a little tired out:-)

Well, that's about it for today. I will keep y'all updated:-) I probably won't be blogging too much the next few days due to all the things scheduled the next three days.

The Lord's Table~Day 3.4,5,6

Day 3 ~ Victory is Here at Last

The emphasis of this lesson was on filling up on God's word. Opening wide our mouths and letting God fill us. Here's a great line,

"The truth is we need to be FAT on Jesus." TLT pg9

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Day 4 ~ Fasting

This was a really interesting lesson. I am definitely being challenged in this area of fasting. I have done it very rarely throughout my christian walk.

I do remember some pretty amazing answers to prayer throughout times of fasting though. Years ago I had felt God compelling me to fast and pray for a day for the unbelieving husband of one of my best friends as his job was on the line. And God miraculously worked the whole situation out that very day! It was so awesome how God got the glory as I had told my friend I was going to take time to fast and pray about their situation. I can clearly see how God has used this pivotal point in his spiritual walk. He's still not surrendered his heart to God...yet he goes to his wife (and me) asking us to pray for things that are a concern to him! He clearly knows that God is answering prayer! And that is pretty cool!

Okay, I digress!

This lesson unpacks some of the the things fasting should NOT be:

• for show

• to draw attention to yourself

• being short-tempered, grumpy throughout

And things fasting SHOULD be:

• in secret
  

• freeing us from bondage, breaking sins power
  

• other centered

• satisfying

• worshipping God

• praying

• confessing sin

• hearing from the Lord

I found this a very thought-provoking and challenging lesson! One that I definitely want to apply on a regular basis in my own life.


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Day 5 ~ Food is Not the Problem
This lesson focuses on how diets aren't the solution to our food and weight loss issues.

Food is not the problem! The problem is indulging the flesh... It is the prayer of the leadership of "The Lord's Table" that your cup is overflowing and that you must drink off the saucer because of it. TLT pg16

Those words paint a pretty neat picture! Drinking off the saucer!!!


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Day 6 ~ Two Kinds of Food
The two kinds are physical and spiritual food. I love one of the verses that was highlighted.

As Jesus was tempted by the devil in the desert He answers, "It is written, 'MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.'" Matthew 4:4

This scripture was a good reminder of how Jesus dealt with temptation. And He was pointing directly to the source of true abundant life and satisfaction: GOD!


Now putting my thoughts together....

This study has not miraculously "cured" me of my greed for food! However it has begun to stir a greater desire for filling up on spiritual food - "real food" and "real drink," Jesus Himself! 0-5 eating has not been 100% consistent. Yet there have been shining moments in the past week where I can see some growth and change. Oh to be "fat on Jesus"!

Here are a few things God is impressing on me:

1.) God will be my morning "alarm clock". I'll explain that in my next post!

2.) Memorize scripture while I cook. I will print out verses on index cards and put them in front of me on the kitchen cupboards to study as I prepare foods. I think that may help me keep focused on spiritual food not just simply physical food.

3.) Eating needs to be entirely focused on God the giver of good gifts. Pray for discernment prior to eating and throughout - what to eat, how much, when to stop etc. Invite God into each eating experience. Say a prayer of thank-you to the Lord with EACH bite I take. Prior to each time I eat I think it would be wise to spend a couple minutes in His word and prayer.

4.) Continue taking fast days on a regular basis, with the RIGHT motives and approach that lines up with God's word.

5.) Limit sugars. I can see how much sugars master me. I'm going to aim for one serving per day, possibly equal to about 100 calories (not that I'll be counting really religiously with this, just a ball park aim!). And I need to savour those treats....and also be willing to sacrifice them to the Lord if that is what He calls me to.

Lord I want to further surrender this area to You. I have arrived at a place where eating 0-5 is the norm. Yet my heart is still greedy for physical food. Please change me and cut out the root of sin my heart. In Jesus name, amen.

FEBRUARY - Getting started!

Getting started following "Thin Within" by Judy & Arthur Halliday

I have been keeping a journal since I started this journey and will try to catch up to where I am today in my journey!

February 3rd:
Well, I am determined this is it. I want to lose this weight once and for all. I am sickened by my greed for food, the power/mastery that food has in my life and the lack of self-discipline I have. I know and believe God can do miracles and by His Holy Spirit change me from the inside out. I want to surrender to Him. My goal is to keep a daily journal in this folder to be a reminder for myself in my journey, and also help me keep a degree of accountability with others. My present goal in terms of food records is to have a record of my eating right on my fridge (in plain view of my husband). I know this has helped me in the past, keeping track of whether I'm hungry or not at each eating occasion along with whether or not I have exercised. I want to get back to this. Also, I really want to have a more balanced diet and want to make sure each eating occasion has more value. A verse that really has spoken to me is:

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
1 Corinthians 10:31

What does it mean "for the glory of God"? I think it means that even in the most simple, daily tasks/goings-on God wants us to glorify Him.....and I think the way I can do this is being obedient to Him. God has impressed on me that obedience is reflected in:

1.) following hunger/fullness cues that He has gifted me with
2.) making wiser more balanced food choices.

Ultimately that means not allowing anything to master me but Christ.....and I know that my greed for certain foods, particularily sugary ones, or even just ANY food when I'm not hungry DOES at times does take a higher place then Christ and master me. I want this to change in my life.

February 4th:
Well, today was a start….not a perfect start, but a start all the same! And I don’t feel too discouraged. I know it always takes a bit to really consistently wait for hunger… A couple things I liked about the way the day went. First, I felt like I ate so much healthier. I enjoyed the foods I ate. I felt I paid fairly good attention to the food/pace I was eating. And I was pleased that I waited for hunger in the morning. That’s not always an easy thing to do.

February 5th:
Today went fairly well. Still ate a bit more in one sitting then I should have, but I think it all worked out.

February 6th:
Well, today was a difficult day for me as I was completely low on energy and tired as I’d been up all night with my sick daughter. I started the day working on just a little bit of sleep. This is always my weakest point for overeating I find. I didn’t wait for hunger for the majority of the day, but was thankful (and surprised) when I got hungry at suppertime. This was very encouraging to me. I made healthy choices for the most part though. And I didn’t eat past a #5 (with the exception of supper). So, that was good too.

February 7th:
Tuesday has been my best day so far… Anyways, I really feel pleased that I have been continuing to make healthy food choices. That’s a step in the right direction.

February 9th - 11th:
Well, so far this week has gone really BAD! I have not been on track at all! But I am going to keep plugging away. I think one of the keys to my failure is weekend laziness or out of routine issues. My other big downfall is definitely when I bake. I love to bake though and am not sure how to manage this one and eat in moderation. I know I have to figure this one out though. The clincher this weekend was a chocolate cake I baked, and then came the buns and then came the banana bread and then the sugar cookies... Once I`m off track it`s REALLY hard to get back on. Anyways, I know the Lord forgives and desires me to keep plugging away! Not giving up here! It`s just one bad week! I`ve got lots more good ones to come.

February 14th:
Well, that doesn’t look like a very good eating day! Anyways, it was a special day and kind of hard to be on track, particularily since I didn’t start the day hungry. Would have helped to have been hungry for breakfast!

February 17th:
I stepped on the scale and was mortified to see 173lbs! Ugh! What is going on! I just can’t seem to get things back on track… Feels like a useless battle at times…. Sigh

February 19th:
That brings me to Tuesday… I stepped on the scale this morning and was 171lbs. Quite discouraging actually. I know I’m not in the “zone” yet. Anyways, I was hungry earlier then usual this morning which was encouraging. I ended up rumbling at 8am which is great. I had a small bowl of cereal. I also did my cardio of 20 minutes jump rope (do 1200 jumps) .

Well, I’m really thankful for how the day went. Yeah, each day I followed my hunger and fullness! That feels REALLY good! I don’t know when the last time was that I did that….probably not since November. Praise God for this small victory! My plan is to fast tomorrow until supper as it is our churches’ day of fasting and prayer. So, I’m guessing I’ll have another day “on the wagon”!

February 20th:
Well today was a day of fasting and prayer….so eating wasn’t really an issue! What an awesome day of time spent with the Lord it was! And in the evening I had such a wonderful bible study with two new believers. It was all about God’s character being the foundation of our faith. I knew it was going to be a pretty big study for these ladies and God has been speaking in so many different ways on this topic to me—through Sunday morning sermon, through both bible study guides I’m working through etc…..all in one week! It was really awesome to unpack it with these ladies and I know that the time of prayer and fasting was used by God to help focus my prayer for this study. So PTL!

I rumbled MANY times throughout the day, starting at 8:30am . Pretty much rumbled every 2 hours through the day…..interesting observation I must say! Something for me to remember in the future. I also got my cardio in today, skipping rope for my regular 20 minutes (1200 jumps). So, that was good too.

February 21st:
I was determined to have another on-track day, so as I headed out to the school to volunteer I just brought along a yogurt and plastic spoon in case I got hungry. Didn’t end up eating it despite rumbling at 10:30am as it wasn’t convenient…

February 23rd:
I’m definitely disappointed with how today went. I started out the day with good intentions and did wait for hunger, but then as I did some experimental cooking I taste-tested food which kind of lead down a slippery slope.

I’m feeling a little anxious about tomorrow as meals are a bit more structured tomorrow….eating out for lunch and supper (not in a restaurant but elsewhere). So, it will be a little more difficult to time eating when I’m hungry. If I start out right, being hungry prior to lunch I should be okay. I know that hot dog, chips and juice are on the menu for lunch….so I’ll try to keep the amount down, maybe skip the chips and aim for ½ the hot dog. We’ll see. Then in the evening it’s a potluck at church….that one will be a little more difficult to control the amount of food. I will need to be very careful tomorrow to make sure this weekend doesn’t turn into the same as last! My aim for weight by the end of next week is down to 167 lbs. Hopefully I’ll turn the corner on that and get back to that 165 lbs really soon, then start working on new weight to lose! Weight loss is SOOOO hard! It’s crazy!

February 23rd - 28th:
Not a very good week in regards to eating…..