Counting My Blessings...

"Stuff"!
Today I cleaned out my 6 yr old's room (with her help) and just shovelled "stuff" out--polly pocket cars, barbie accessories, dress up clothes, play dishes etc!--whittling down her toy collections to what she will really play with (and really hoping it will be easier for her to clean up from here on in!). I got rid of one garbage bag of garbage and three bags of toys/dress up clothes! It was incredible how much "stuff" can accumulate! We are certainly blessed to have the opportunity to have all these things. We will be digging through those bags soon and find toys that would be suitable to be donated to the orphanage we're visitting/serving at this summer in Mexico. It will be a good lesson for the kids--a reminder of all that we have and a lesson in generosity and giving.
Watermelon.
I definitely LOVE this fruit! As soon as the watermelons come into the grocery stores in March I start buying a large one every week or two until they are no longer available (around September!). Jon doesn't like watermelon so that just leaves more for me and the kids :-) Thank you Lord for making such a delicious fruit!

Counting My Blessings...

Good health.
Just thinking I can't take it for granted.

Choosing to Receive Forgiveness

As I reflected on TW ch 19 "Opening the Prison Gates" it was the first time in my readings of TW that I realized the need to forgive myself. This is my prayer:

Dear Lord, I choose to receive Your forgiveness for myself for failing so many times--in particular back in 2002 to 2004 when I just couldn't seem to get back in my bmi zone and then from there things just got worse. It was a heart issue at the core of it all. Please forgive me for failing to surrender to you and your will. I choose to no longer live in that failure but rather move forward in Your grace. In Jesus name, amen

I was struck by a wonderful statement that Debby posted yesterday on the TW forums:

The neat thing is that we are learners, not failures.

Isn't that a neat statement?!!! I thought it was a wonderful perspective that will certainly stick with me!

As I was reading this chapter, this verse popped out to me as well:
"Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord'--and you forgave the guilt of my sin." Psalm 32:1-5

Counting My Blessings...

Rain
I know that in a couple days when this rain ends everything will be transformed as gardens, trees, grass will be in full bloom.
My parents who live nearby
I'm thankful that we get to see them often and that our kids got to have a sleepover with them tonight....and Jon & I got a night out:-)

Wonderful friends

Goal #5 - not met

I'm a little sad to say I didn't quite meet goal #5 of waiting until next Friday to weigh-in. I was trying to go 2 weeks without weighing myself... I got through one week though. I don't believe weighing myself weekly is a problem in itself, but I had been feeling challenged to extend the length of time between weigh-ins for this month...probably because the scale clearly has a little more power then it should have in my life at this time.

On the positive note, another pound was released this past week which was probably because I was fairly consistent (through God's grace, strength and power which equipped me of course) with 0-5 eating (even with a bit more ice cream and chocolate in my food log entries lately then I would prefer). Even more importantly I feel God is doing some heart work in me.

I need to learn to just trust Him and trust my body... Actually this is all ringing a bell.... I was just reading Thin Again chapter 6 last night and this paragraph stood out for me:

"The healing process continues as we put ourselves in a safe environment characterized by ongoing support, honesty, unconditional love, prayer, and the Holy Spirit's love and power. In Thin Within support groups, workshop participants continue to meet and hold each other accountable. The support groups remind us that the basis of this new relationship with food, eating and our bodies is trust. First, we trust God who created our bodies. Second, we trust our bodies to signal true hunger and to tell us which foods will satisfy us and when we have eaten "0" to "5". In the context of a loving support group, where we are gathered in God's name, we extend that trust to others as we continue to allow our grave clothes to be unwrapped. 'For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them' (matt. 18:20)" TA pg 112

I need to trust God first and foremost (in ALL areas of my life--food and non food) and trust the body that He has made to so ingeniously be just the right size when eating 0-5! How awesome is that! Now I need to internalize all that and REALLY trust!

Counting my Blessings

Lately I have been feeling God nudging me to grow more of a heart of gratitude, to recall and record the blessings He has poured into my life. And then I read TW chapter 17 (Grandeur of Gratitude) and it was like it all together and was crystal clear what God wanted me to do!

"As we continue to be thankful to the Lord, we discover that the shackles of self-preoccupation and greed begin to fall away, that our incessant need or want for more food begins to diminish. We discover that we are being transformed from within. It is in this place of continued surrender that we lay before Him our hearts, our hunger, and yes, our food. We are so grateful for the body He has given us and for His daily provisions. His grace and mercy are measureless." TW pg 174-175

So, I decided to formally recall and record the blessings He has poured into my life with posts labelled as "counting my blessings."

Counting My Blessings...

What a great school trip to the farm!
I am thankful for a great school, great opportunities like these and for a chance to get to know the kids a little better....which I'm sure will help me as I start the lunch monitor job with this very group of students next school year.
The way God speaks to me and impresses things on my heart.
It has been really exciting to be experiencing this more often lately. This blog came out of Him speaking to me on the topic of gratitude. I kept feeling Him impressing this need on my heart and then was reading TW chapter 17 (Grandeur of Gratitude) and it was like it all came together and was crystal clear what God wanted me to do!

I bought a brand new piano yesterday!
What a blessing that was! I'm SOOOO excited about it and thankful for God's provisions and guidance.

A great night's sleep!
It's been awhile since I had a solid 8 hour sleep:-) So I'm pretty happy about that!

Prepared to Give an Answer

In past years I would often have friends come up to me and say "You've lost weight!" and I'd usually be stunned because I was the same weight as usual (was probably just wearing a more flattering outfit!). Last time I lost about 8lbs (reaching 160lbs in March '07) I had many friends notice and say how they could really see the difference in my face etc.

Well, this time round I've had only one comment, despite releasing at least 16lbs (which seems like a lot to me!!!). I've found it surprising that few people have noticed this time round...not offensive or bothersome or even a pride thing, just surprising! I know that eventually weight release will change the way my body looks reflecting the changes from within (I think it has already)....and most likely people will notice the change...and I wouldn't be surprised if many will eventually comment.

The reason I bring this up is not because I want to be noticed or to be praised or to be congratulated... I just know that when physical changes happen people usually take note and often comment. And this time round I want God to get the credit for the changes. I feel God is preparing me and teaching me a lesson in all this. God has been working in my heart the past few days, bringing the following verse to mind frequently which really resonated with me:
"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." 1 Peter 3:15

I believe God is wanting me to be prepared with an answer when people say "You've lost weight. How did you do it?". I know that God has been central in this whole journey and truly the reason for the changes in me (inside and out). I also believe the purpose of this journey has been to ultimately bring God more glory (just as allowing Lazarus to die and then going back and raising him back to life was about God's glory being put on display). I don't want to gip God of ANY glory. I want my answer to point straight to Jesus.

Up until now I don't think I've been fully prepared with a God glorifying answer (at least not a concise one!!!). In the past few days God has started convicting me of this need. I have been encouraged and excited about the this opportunity to be missional in all of this, planting seeds in people's hearts that hopefully stimulate further spiritual discussion. I have been running over things I could say. I am primarily thinking of friends who are non believers who ask this question....how can I be a witness for Christ and bring glory to Him even through something as "ordinary" as weight loss!

So, I'm mulling over what I can say, as I trust the day will come when weight release will be more evident... I want my response to be at the tip of my tongue and God glorifying! One response (to non believers) that keeps running through my head is, "I know this may sound strange to some people, but it's really all about loving God and enjoying food, not the other way around." And then I could go into how I simply followed the God-given hunger/satisfaction signals. This would reflect how this journey has been about surrendering my appetite for food to God. Another response could be, "It has been a very spiritual process for me. God is really changing me from the inside out." I'm still thinking through this one and I am finding that just trying to find these words has helped me reflect more on the changes that God is working in my heart.

Any other thoughts? Any response that some of you have already used and found quite effective and God glorifying? I really want God to get all the glory this time round!

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Practicing His Presence cont'd

I have been thinking a lot this weekend about the whole concept of “practicing God’s presence” which I first posted about here. I have been feeling continued and increased conviction to grow in this area, in fact making it part of my goals for the next month.

As I read TW chapter 15 on Saturday, I felt God drawing my attention to these words:

“What a blessing it is to be so loved by one who wants to be with us, even in the most mundane aspects of our lives. When we are faced with a crisis at work, we turn to Him. When a loved one falls ill, we turn to Him. When we don’t know what to do next, we turn to Him. But how does God fit into our playtime? Does He accompany us on camping trips? Does He join us when we have lunch with our friends? What about quiet moments when we are driving? When we take the children to the park? When we relax in the bathtub with a good book? Psalm 139 assures us that the Lord is with us no matter where we are. He wants us to make Him an intentional part of each moment of our lives through prayer.” TW pg 152

This morning as I was doing my devotions and studying the friendship and bond of love that David and Jonathan shared, I felt challenged to really focus and grow in my love and devotion for God. I desire to be in communion with Him every single moment of the day. I desire for Him to be part of every thread of the fabric of my life. I desire to see life through His eyes, live through His strength, be guided through life according to His purposes and vision. I want to grasp how amazing His love is….for GOD IS LOVE (1 John 4:16). How amazing is that!!!! It’s mind-boggling! He IS the very characteristic of LOVE. I want to learn from God, love Him more deeply and experience real authentic intimacy. I want nothing else to master me, nothing else to compete for my attention to Him.

Yet so often I find that life just seems to get busy, even the little mundane things take away my focus from Him. It’s like a web that I just get stuck in and in the process I can go an entire day without even really inviting Him into each moment and end up failing to give Him due attention and devotion.

I really desire to practice His presence and be free of this web of busyness. What a blessing it was this morning when I was woken up bright and early by my Heavenly Father…well, truthfully at the time I was a little frustrated that I couldn’t sleep past 6am, but in the end it was all worth it! I got to spent some time learning from His word before everyone was awake. Then I got to go for a nice jog with Him, enjoying all His creation—the gorgeous budding blossoming trees, the robins busily digging for food in the ground, the stunning green grass, the brilliant blue sky, the heart beating within my chest. Oh how I long and pray for each and every moment to be lived with this heightened awareness of His presence. I really want to grow in this area and choose to be intentional today about practicing His presence.

The First Meal of the Rest of Your Life

I was challenged by this exercise. I have been pretty much following the keys to conscious eating, but I don't think I've invited God into each eating experience as fully as I should. I felt like typing up the exercise from TW pg 154-155 (along with a quick 1-2 word summary for each point) to serve as a reminder for myself. I figure others may find it a useful reminder too...

1.) PRAY

"Ask God to help you honor the body He has given you by maintaining the appropriate boundaries, including time and place. Reaffirm your love for Him and your desire to enjoy the food He has provided."

2.) COMFY

"Select your favorite spot and wear clothes in which you are comfortable."

3.) #0

"Check your hunger level. Plan to be at a 0 so that you can truly enjoy the food."

4.) ENTER GOD'S PRESENCE

"Take a moment to enter into God's presence as you invite Him to be a part of your dining experience."

5.) NOTE ENVIRONMENT

"Notice everything about the environment. No matter how familiar it may be, look at it as if you have never seen it before. Thank the Lrod for all of His provisions."

6.) NOTE FOOD

"Before you start eating, become aware of every item of food. Notice how it looks on the plate. Express your gratitude for the beauty in teh colors of the food and its fragrance. Before taking your first bite, take a moment to thank God for His generous provisions, and pray that the food would bring physical satisfactiona nd health to your body."

7.) SAVOUR

"Chew the food slowly and notice the different flavours and textures."

8.) SAMPLE

"Sample each item and then ask yourself it it was enjoyable. Does it really delight you? Or did you just think it would?"

9.) RATE

"How would you rate each item on your plate from 0 to 10 (0 being awful and 10 being terrific)?"

10.) #5

"Before you continue eating, check in with your hunger #'s. Stop eating when you're at a comfortable 5. Remember, your empty stomach is only as large as your fist."

11.) THANK GOD

"When you've finished, once again thank and praise God, for this time and for what you have learned during the dining experience."