Weight Released

Down to 149 lbs as of this morning. This is really encouraging news for me as I've been struggling with being thin from WITHIN lately and asking God to cut out all the roots of greed in my heart (as my posts have been reflecting lately). It's not an easy process...and I have so much more work ahead. Yesterday I felt a lot of peace as I invited God into this process more and surrendered more of myself over to Him. I want to continue walking in surrender to Him moment by moment each day.

A bit of this and that...

I know my eating hasn't been on track the past number of days...despite my last post about "today" being the day to get back on track. I still feel that something changed inside me the day I made my last post, even though I am "eating my words" as I have certainly not been reflecting a new start with my eating.

I think what clicked for me last Saturday was that I felt like I was once again "ready" to jump in all the way. I'm "ready" to observe and correct once again. I'm "ready" to seek God and His mercy, grace and power once again. I'm "ready"--well, as ready as you can ever be--to surrender this area to God once again. Now I know that my eating (and hence food log) doesn't reflect much of these changes...but I know the inner change will begin to be reflected with outer change as I once again aim to put God first. It's probably pretty evident why I am feeling the "need" to once again post my food log! It's certainly not to brag about being so "good" and "perfect" with 0-5 eating:-)

Okay, onto what God was impressing on me today. I was reading TW chapter 5 and was very encouraged as I read...

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I definitely feel quite "weak" right now. I know the sin of gluttony has deep roots in my life. Surrendering this area to God is tough! Yet I also know that God's power is proclaimed loud and clear when I surrender to Him and as He works change in this area of my life. That's an exciting thought for me! So I keep pressing on!

I also was encouraged by the mirror, mirror exercise today. I didn't actually follow through with the exercise exactly the way intended... But I did focus on different parts of my body and the ways they have been used by God for different purposes. I am thankful for the body God has given me. I am thankful for energy, stamina, & great health that I've been blessed with thus far. I am thankful for vision and purpose that allows me to use my strengths more effectively for His glory. I'll end with some favorite verse that were quoted at the end of TW chapter 5...

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb; I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16

Counting My Blessings...

It's my daughter's birthday tomorrow!

What an exciting day that was! Praising God for her!

Counting My Blessings...

Sharing about God, our GREATEST Treasure, with those who don't yet know Him!
It was so wonderful connecting with a lady at our pancake breakfast this morning who has never attended church....making assumptions here I'm guessing she doesn't really know much about God and the Bible. So it was wonderful getting acquainted and exciting to see how God is drawing her along on this journey. I look forward to what God has in store for her and her family as she continues seeking Him. I look forward to walking alongside her as she starts down this path. It's exciting to see, really SEE, God working in people's hearts! Praising God!

Today's the Day!

I'm not sure why I feel the way I do today...but I feel like TODAY is the day to really start fresh and get completely back on track. (maybe I'll be eating my words later...hopefully not!!) It just feels like something "clicked" and I feel like I am truly ready to commit. So, hopefully that's not just a "feeling"! As I read TW day 4 this morning it drove home for me that I really don't want to be on this path of my own performance (where I'm failing so often and seeing greed rear it's ugly head so often). I truly desire to be on the path of God's provision, observing (confessing) and correcting (repenting). I want to trust God to meet my needs and satisfy me the way nothing else can ever satisfy.

Our VBS theme this week was "God is our greatest treasure!" How true that is! He is truly the GREATEST treasure! And He has given me the opportunity to get to know Him, to be in right relationship with Him through His grace and mercy and sacrifice, and I also have the opportunity to walk side by side with Him and experience the provision of His power, peace, presence, joy and so much more! Praise God!

Counting My Blessings...

Our church's VBS program.
I really enjoyed being a part of the Vacation Bible School program this week. I helped as a group leader so I got to enjoy lots of interactions with the kids. It was just so awesome to see the kids jumping around, dancing and singing their hearts out to God! I pray this week will plant seeds in their heart that will blossom and grow. It is quite amazing to think that the message "preached" each evening may have been the first glimpse of God many children have gotten. That just thrills my heart!

Struggling

I'm finding it really hard to return to consistent 0-5 eating once again. I thought I had been overstepping the 0-5 bounds so often during our holidays....but now that I'm back at home, with the cupboards and fridge (and freezer) stocked full of yummy handy food I'm realizing that during holidays one thing that I really did "right" was just eat at mealtimes. I really didn't snack much at all. Plus Jon and I often shared restaurant portions for much of our trip (the servings were just HUGE though...and mexican meals can be stretched a lot depending how many tortillas you use!).

Anyways, I'm really frustrated with my lack of self-control once again. I know that this week is a less scheduled week with VBS each evening. Each evening I'm coming home tired and wanting to sit back and relax with some "comforting" food. During the daytime I've been a little less patient waiting for hunger then I was prior to vacation.

I'm not sure exactly what to do about this struggle except lift it to the Lord in prayer. I know that He has helped me many times over the past year and is more then able to once again strengthen me and equip me. Next week I hope to get more of a semblance of routine in our life. I tend to function better with routine. It also helps to be well rested which I haven't been this week...

Well, that's the quick update at this end, not the glowing report I'd love to be posting...but it's the way things are right now. I continue to trust that God has begun a good work in me and will continue it to completion.

Prize

As I was jogging this morning (yes, I got back to exercising, yippee!)...I got to thinking about this verse:

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14

My NIV study notes say:

prize: The winner of the Greek races received a wreath of leaves and sometimes a cash award; the Christian receives an award of everlasting glory.
heavenward: Paul's ultimate aspirations are found not in this life but in heaven, because Christ is there (see Col 3:1-2)

Often, as I apply this verse to my TW journey, I mistakenly think of the "prize" as finally reaching my weight release goals and getting "thin"!

Yet far greater then getting "thin", is my life (present and future) with Christ. I was thinking about what the "prize" in the present would be.... And came to a definite conclusion that the ultimate prize, relating to my TW journey and the present, would be Christ's healing and restoration and setting me free from captivity to this sin of gluttony and greed for food. I look forward to the day when I experience this more fully.

So I keep pressing on!

As I return from holidays I feel there is a need for greater accountability and transparency with 0-5 eating and exercise. So I have once again began posting to my Daily Food & Exercise Log and will continue for the next 30 days.

Counting My Blessings...

Amazing time of ministry in Mexico.

What an amazing month we had with the Fletcher family and their children. It was such a blessing to be able to spend so much time with each of these precious children, seven of them abandoned by their parents, the other three the Fletcher's biological children....plus many other children who would come through their doors each day. We read stories, played games and did crafts each day we were around the house. It was wonderful being able to help out in the kitchen and teaching them a bit about baking as we made cookies, pizza dough, biscuits and cake together--a first for them!

Wonderful family time.

We certainly had non-stop family time! It is wonderful spending time with my family and making memories together. What a blessing!

Beautiful beaches.

The beach at Tulum, in the mayan riviera, is absolutely stunning!

Delicious authentic mexican food!

Love, love, love mexican food:-)

Seeing God's amazing creation in the sea.

We had so much fun snorkelling. We swam with the sea turtles, dolphins, sting rays, baracudas, big fish, small fish, striped fish, colorful rainbow colored fish and more!!! It was awesome!

Quiet times with the Lord.

I really relished these moments.

Sunrises.

Safety.

God kept us safe from start to finish of this vacation. Thank you Lord.

I'm back!

It feels so good to be back home! What an amazing month it has been. So many answers to prayer and so many blessings were experienced. I've now updated my Counting My Blessings blog along with pictures from the past month.

One thing God taught me throughout our month in Mexico is that there are needs everywhere in the world...even in my own city here in Canada. I went on this trip willing to do whatever, go whereever God wanted me to go...as surrendered as I could be to His will. Did He want our family to move to Mexico? Did He want us to adopt a child? Did He want us to serve the poor and needy here in Canada? What exactly was the purpose behind all this?

I came away from our trip very aware that God had very specifically directed us to this ministry and family in Mexico for a reason. The family who are heading up this ministry were truly needing some extra support and encouragement and we could see that God used us for that purpose...and it was reciprocated as we watched and learned and listened to these passionate christ-followers share from their hearts and live out their lives serving others 24/7.

So, what does the future hold? I really don't know the answer to that. What I do know is that I need to listen to God's direction and follow His leading. So, I'm praying and waiting on God. At this point I have not felt inclined to serve in Mexico full-time...but am certainly continuing to feel directed towards ministry here in my own city amongst those in real need.

As I sought to surrender my future to God....I sadly fell short of surrendering my gluttonous greedy appetite for food to Him. I hate that I still have this root lodged deep down.... I generally was hungry about 1-2x each day (and was eating at least 3x each day). However I went past #5 a lot of meals...knowingly. And I often ate (a lot) when I was not in the least bit hungry.

On the positive note I kept up with my quiet time with the Lord, digging into the Beth Moore bible study. So many "aha" moments as I journey through this book. Most summers are so out-of-whack with schedules, and non-stop family time, that I often don't prioritize my devotions. But this summer was different...and for this I am thankful and praise God. I'm thankful for the hunger He is placing deep within me and for the way He is revealing Himself to me and touching my life.

On another positive note, I stepped on the scale this morning and found my weight had remained the same at 151 pounds! That's amazing! I'm just so thankful I'm not having to start all over again with releasing weight that had already been released! It truly has been released, praise God! My heart soars with praise to God! Now I just have to keep pressing on, make sure I don't stay in the vacation eating mode and continue to move forward to the weight God wants me to reach. More then that I need to keep pressing forward and continue to surrender to God and be set free from this sin of greed and gluttony that popped up its head this past month. I need to get back into consistent 0-5 eating now. I don't want to take a break from this "great project" that God has been doing in my heart and life.

Checking in

I guess it has been nearly two weeks since I posted. I thought it would be good to give account and be transparent with how things have been going.

First of all, I cannot begin to express how amazing our time here in Mexico has been. We are staying at the home of an amazing family who rescued and have care for seven orphanned children for the past three years (along with their own three children). They have been building an orphanage near their home that will open in the near future with the ability to care for many more children. The children are AMAZING! God's work in their lives is very evident! We have now spent over a week with this family and have been touched in so many ways. The children have a joy that just spills over and radiates from them. They are wonderful children, a true joy to spend time with. Our host couple, the Fletchers, are amazing individuals as well. I have learned so much as I have listened to them share from their hearts. I still don't know what God's plan in all this is....but I'm willing and available to whatever He calls me to. I could go on and on with stories...but will keep it short and sweet for now until I collect my thoughts better and can communicate them more effectively:-)

Second, I have been continuing to take time with the Lord. I have been really enjoying the Beth Moore study "Breaking Free". Today's lesson, finding satisfaction in God, really hit home to me especially. It compared how we seek to satisfy our bodies when we feel physical sensations of hunger and thirst (good reminder to do this more!!) and how we should be doing the same thing with our spiritual hunger and thirst sensations and turning to God who satisfies as with the "richest of fare". I have much growing to do in this area.

Third, in regards to eating.... I have really been off. I feel quite "yucky" right now actually! I have had my "on" days and then my really really "off" days. They have really different schedules here in Mexico! Breakfast has been self-serve. I should be more careful to be hungry for this meal as most days I can wait until I am hungry and then eat. Lunch is usually around 2pm (seems strange to me when I'm used to 11:00-12:00 lunches!). This is their biggest meal of the day.....and has been throwing me off majorly as I'm usually a light lunch kind of person! Then supper is around 9pm (seems crazy to me!) and they have had sandwiches or hamburgers etc. most days...more like our lunches. As I said following 0-5 has been up and down.... When we get to our next phase of our trip, our family time in Playa del Carmen, I know that I will have more flexibility with 0-5 eating, as I will be more "in control" of what times I eat etc. It is much more difficult when I am the guest here and the meals are being prepared and served to 15-20 people each lunch/supper.

I feel the root of gluttony has reared its head once again and feel captive once again to greed for food. Doesn't take very long does it!!!! I need to be set free by God's power once again. I need to open the door to the Lord and be satisfied by Him alone. Time to push the restart button again! I don't expect to be able to be hungry every meal while in this home....but certainly can make choices that reflect a heart that is not captive to gluttony.

Lord, I turn to you once again. I need your mercy and grace. I'm sorry for turning from you and choosing to do things my own way. Please help me learn what it means to be satisfied in YOU alone. I want to have a taste of all that you have to offer and to truly experience soul satisfaction. Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for your power which you equip me with. I know that I cannot do this in my own strength. Thank you for all your provisions--help, peace, joy, purpose, strength, power, presence, grace and more. You are an amazing God! Amen.