I haven't made much use of my blog in quite some time. And, in all honesty, I'm not sure I am going to have the time to keep posting on a regular basis. But, this morning, I felt God beginning to tie a whole bunch of loose ends together for me.
I've really been struggling with surrendering my body to the Lord, particularly with regards to eating/exercise. My weight has climbed. I didn't step on the scale today so I don't know what the exact # is. But I do know I'm in the 160's.
On a positive note, I'm persevering, not stressing about what a # on a scale says, generally eating 0-5 (within hunger/satisfaction) for most eating ocassions and making myself accountable each and every day to some closer friends online.
On the flip side.... I've felt my heart captured by greed, particularily when it comes to sugary stuff. I rarely tackle battles, even when I know what the right thing to do is, even when I know what "truth" is. My heart just doesn't want to do the right thing enough, I guess. My relationship with God has been somewhat dry the past couple months, since we returned from Mexico. I am longing for that hunger/thirst for God that I experienced last year, when God was my alarm clock and I was hungry to dig into His word, into time of communion with Him, into memorizing His word. Oh how I long for that!
Yesterday was a completely greedy eating kind of day. I ate and ate sugar sugar sugar, the very thing I'd felt compelled to abstain from for a time. I ate outside of 0-5 for most of the day. And I felt sickened by how far I have strayed from God's will.
This morning I woke up with the resolve to actually follow "The Lord's Table" program. I think I may actually use the eating schedule this time, only as a way to discipline my heart to seek God first and foremost. Last time I worked through TLT I simply used TW 0-5 as my eating plan. But I think I may need a little bit of a "wake up" call right now. I need to seek God more than food is what it comes down to. That being said, I dug into day 1 of TLT and what was printed in those pages reflected much of what God has been speaking to me lately.
As I have been studying week 2 of "Secrets Jesus Shared" I felt God continually impressing on me the importance of my FOCUS to be on Him, not letting things (like TV/computer, busyness etc.) distract me from pursuing Him. As I dug back into re-memorizing some verses the one that had become my prayer just this past week was,
And that brings me to today, as I studied TLT I read the following verses and began chewing on these words...
As I went for a walk this morning I was struck by the fact that I've been approaching this eating surrender issue wrongly. Though I've been aiming to take thoughts captive and replace with truth - a right and noble endeavor - I've missed the most important point of all... IT'S ALL ABOUT THE HEART. I can't just snap my fingers and say, "Christina, time to replace that lie with truth." Though of course that is a good aim. Even praying a prayer in a certain way, going through systematic motions to "magically" say the right words isn't really the right way, though once again it is good to aim to pray about this issue.
Each of those things God had impressed on me in the "Secrets Jesus Shared" study, in my memorization of God's word and in small group began to come together today. I realized that it is not about following a system, a set of steps, putting on and off...though each and every one of these have a place and a time.
It's about GAZING at, SITTING in, ABSORBING the truth of His Glory, Jesus Himself the "radiance of His Glory."
Just being WITH God, in His presence, experiencing and seeing His glory, my HEART will begin to change and be transformed. And from a heart change comes a will change. And each of these other steps flows naturally as the Holy Spirit transforms - putting off the old self, putting on the new self, taking thoughts captive, my mind being renewed with God's truth, prayer of repentance etc.
It's time to stop going through the motions and trying to be the change agent...and instead just STOP and SIT at His feet and draw near to the Lord and let HIM, in His glory, change and transform me.
I feel hope welling up inside me once again.
I've really been struggling with surrendering my body to the Lord, particularly with regards to eating/exercise. My weight has climbed. I didn't step on the scale today so I don't know what the exact # is. But I do know I'm in the 160's.
On a positive note, I'm persevering, not stressing about what a # on a scale says, generally eating 0-5 (within hunger/satisfaction) for most eating ocassions and making myself accountable each and every day to some closer friends online.
On the flip side.... I've felt my heart captured by greed, particularily when it comes to sugary stuff. I rarely tackle battles, even when I know what the right thing to do is, even when I know what "truth" is. My heart just doesn't want to do the right thing enough, I guess. My relationship with God has been somewhat dry the past couple months, since we returned from Mexico. I am longing for that hunger/thirst for God that I experienced last year, when God was my alarm clock and I was hungry to dig into His word, into time of communion with Him, into memorizing His word. Oh how I long for that!
Yesterday was a completely greedy eating kind of day. I ate and ate sugar sugar sugar, the very thing I'd felt compelled to abstain from for a time. I ate outside of 0-5 for most of the day. And I felt sickened by how far I have strayed from God's will.
This morning I woke up with the resolve to actually follow "The Lord's Table" program. I think I may actually use the eating schedule this time, only as a way to discipline my heart to seek God first and foremost. Last time I worked through TLT I simply used TW 0-5 as my eating plan. But I think I may need a little bit of a "wake up" call right now. I need to seek God more than food is what it comes down to. That being said, I dug into day 1 of TLT and what was printed in those pages reflected much of what God has been speaking to me lately.
As I have been studying week 2 of "Secrets Jesus Shared" I felt God continually impressing on me the importance of my FOCUS to be on Him, not letting things (like TV/computer, busyness etc.) distract me from pursuing Him. As I dug back into re-memorizing some verses the one that had become my prayer just this past week was,
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who EARNESTLY SEEK HIM." Hebrews 11:6 (emphasis mine)At our small group meeting on Friday night, God spoke to my heart once again as the main point we zoned in on was the importance of PURSUING GOD.
And that brings me to today, as I studied TLT I read the following verses and began chewing on these words...
"but whenever a person turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:16-18
"God, after He spoke long ago to the fathers in the prophets in many portions and in many ways, in these last days has spoken to us in His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the world. And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact represenation fo His nature, and upholds all things by the word of his power. When He had made purification of sings, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having become as much better than the angels, as He has inherited a more excellent name than they." Hebrews 1:1-4
As I went for a walk this morning I was struck by the fact that I've been approaching this eating surrender issue wrongly. Though I've been aiming to take thoughts captive and replace with truth - a right and noble endeavor - I've missed the most important point of all... IT'S ALL ABOUT THE HEART. I can't just snap my fingers and say, "Christina, time to replace that lie with truth." Though of course that is a good aim. Even praying a prayer in a certain way, going through systematic motions to "magically" say the right words isn't really the right way, though once again it is good to aim to pray about this issue.Each of those things God had impressed on me in the "Secrets Jesus Shared" study, in my memorization of God's word and in small group began to come together today. I realized that it is not about following a system, a set of steps, putting on and off...though each and every one of these have a place and a time.
It's about GAZING at, SITTING in, ABSORBING the truth of His Glory, Jesus Himself the "radiance of His Glory."
Just being WITH God, in His presence, experiencing and seeing His glory, my HEART will begin to change and be transformed. And from a heart change comes a will change. And each of these other steps flows naturally as the Holy Spirit transforms - putting off the old self, putting on the new self, taking thoughts captive, my mind being renewed with God's truth, prayer of repentance etc.
It's time to stop going through the motions and trying to be the change agent...and instead just STOP and SIT at His feet and draw near to the Lord and let HIM, in His glory, change and transform me.
I feel hope welling up inside me once again.
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