On the mend...

Well I have entered the land of the living once again! Whew, I just went through a brutal stretch of sore throat and fever (potentially strep). Anyways I'm on antibiotics and am feeling much improved.

I have felt very off with regards to eating/exercise and also quite unmotivated and "down." I haven't spent much time in the Word this past week. ugh. I can feel the dryness in my soul. I need some quiet time with the Lord. In regards to abstaining from sugary stuff...well that all went out the window (jello, freezies, hard candy lozengers may have soothed my sore throat but didn't help my "treat free" resolve). I'm not sure what I'm doing. I don't even know what I'm doing with the whole scale thing. My husband thinks a little differently then me as he is a daily weigh-er.

Being right around that 160lb mark again and then being out of sync with eating really did a work on me! But, I think I need to come to terms with the fact that my journey will likely never be one where I reach my goal and just STAY there! I think my journey will likely remain one where I have to FIGHT to stay there, to maintain a healthy weight/lifestyle. I think this is something I must come to terms with.

The proud side of me would like to have this wonderful testimony that I have released 24+lbs and it hasn't crept back on because I've been changed/healed/restored. But I have this sneeking suspicion that this may not be the path of my life. I suspect God is going to continue using this particular area of my life to sharpen/transform me and keep me humble....indefinitely! I'm not sure I'll ever be "there" until I reach Heaven when the Lord brings His good work to completion. And I need to be okay with that. And I need to keep fighting the good fight. And I need to find a way to keep pressing on. And even bigger then that I need to learn what God wants me to learn so that I can be used as His instrument with others. My heart's deepest desire is for God to use me for His purposes and His glory!

This journey has been about so much more then just eating cardboard and cabbage (okay, I have never done that!) and exercising like a maniac (which I have never done in my whole life by the way)! It's been about growing more like Jesus, about there being more of Him in my life and less of me, Him increasing and me decreasing. THAT is what has been truly astounding about this whole journey. It's been awesome! Okay, all that being said, I think I gave myself the pep talk I needed! I'm ready to get back on that "wagon"! I'm not giving up. I'm going to draw near to the Lord and rest in His peaceful presence. I'm going to keep my mind stayed on Him. And I'm going to let Him guide me and use me for His purposes.

On a really positive note, I'm totally pumped because I'm starting into a new workbook that I ordered, "Freedom from Emotional Eating" by Barb Raveling. I'll keep you posted as I journey through that book.