Reflect

In Living Beyond Yourself, Beth Moore writes,

Gold is not "finished" until it reaches a point of perfect luster. The chief objective of the refiner is to bring the gold to a point of greatest reflection. The gold is not as costly for its own sake as it is for the sake of that which it reflects. It is the light which exposes its qualities. LBD pg 116

She unpacked a few scriptures which God really spoke to my heart through, a few of which I will pinpoint below.

"But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside. I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread. " Job 23:8-12

"He has tested me and I will come forth as GOLD." Those are Job's words after losing his children, his servants, his livestock, his wealth, his physical health.

"I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread." Wow! That's powerful! Job certainly glorified God in the trials of life. (On a side note this verse has REALLY spoken to me in regards to weight surrender issues... Treasuring God's word is KEY!)

"And we, who with unveiled faces all REFLECT the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18

We are called to REFLECT God's glory. And the neat thing is we have "unveiled" faces. Through Jesus' death on the cross the veil has been removed. We can approach the throne of grace with confidence (Hebrews 4:16). That's an amazing truth!

Exodus 34:29-35 describes how Moses had such a radiant face after being in the Lord's presence that he would actually have to put a veil over his face! We are being granted the same privilege! We get to be in God's very presence, with unveiled faces it says in 2 Cor. 3:18. As we spend time fixing our eyes on Him, keeping our mind stayed on Him, simply sitting at His feet and feasting at His table, presenting our prayers and petitions with thanksgiving to Him...we are in the very PRESENCE of God! And we can't help but be TRANSFORMED when we remain in His presence! And we will certainly REFLECT His glory!

As I type this up, I'm being reminded of my favorite childhood verse (I still don't know why this one resonated with me throughout those early years)...

"Those who look to him are RADIANT; their faces are never covered with shame." Psalm 34:5

When I come into His presence I can't help but be purified of sin. I don't think I could come into His presence with a truly rebellious heart. As I come humbly, in prayer, seeking His face and turning from my wicked ways, He hears my prayer, he forgives my sin and heals (2 Chron. 7:14) ...and my face is no longer covered with shame because He has forgiven me!

My main struggles in life are the "mundane" aspects. I simply need sinful impurities to be removed from my heart - my impatience with my kids, my lack of selflessness with my husband, my laziness, my lack of time in prayer, my lack of self-discipline with eating/exercise which happens time and again, my lack of focussing on things from above, my forgetting to be thankful and prayerful, having a loose tongue at times.... I want to STAY in His presence and have these impurities melted away. I want to come forth like gold, REFLECTING His glory!

So, I choose to fix my eyes on Him. I choose to keep my mind stayed on Him. I lay my requests before Him and wait in expectation. I passionately persist...

So that I may REFLECT!

God's Perfect Peace

I was watching the news this morning and an author was interviewed who had wrote a book about decision making. The point pondered was whether we should make decisions based on emotion or logic. And the answer is it needs to be a combination.

This flowed interestingly into what God has been speaking to me about the past few days in regards to my mind, my heart and God's perfect peace.

I've been feeling a bit caught up in the busyness of life. I have been longing to get my thoughts sorted out and processed. Putting posts together on my blog is one way of processing everything. I've been itching to get here to post! So this is a big treat for me right now!

As I think about the way my anxieties plague me, how my to-do list grows, how I sweat the small stuff, I plead for God's perfect peace. Oh how my emotions (heart) and logic (mind) can get all mixed up and upside down sometimes! I wanted to just quiet my soul and rest at His feet. A verse that has been really sticking with me lately and resonating is Isaiah 26:3.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. (NIV)

This is a powerful verse. It reminds me that I can experience God's perfect peace in my heart even in the midst of tumultuous experiences if my mind is focussed on the Lord. I asked myself what it means to have a mind that is steadfast. And the King James Version of this verse shed a little light on what that means.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is STAYED on thee: because he trusteth in thee. (KJV)

A steadfast mind is a mind that is STAYED on the Lord. Focussed on Him. Fixed on Him. Trusting the Lord. As I began to do a quick search on verses that speak of the mind, I was reminded of one of my favorite verses lately...

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2

Transformed by the renewing of my mind. How do we do that? is my next logical question.

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Col. 3:2

"I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Jeremiah 31:33

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' Matthew 22:37

I think the root of renewal and steadfastness of mind can be summed up in this verse:

But we have the mind of Christ. 1 Cor. 2:16

As I approach the throne of grace with confidence in the the blood of Jesus poured out for my sins (Heb. 4:16), and as I set my focus on things above (Col. 3:2), seeking to love God with all that is in me (Matt. 22:37) and get to know him through his law, the bible (Jer. 31:33)...then I have the mind of Christ and I begin to be transformed and renewed.

So what difference does this make to the state of my heart or my emotions? Well, if my mind is STAYED on the Lord, trusting Him, steadfast...then He renews me and transforms me and also begins to pour out His perfect peace in my heart. It begins to spill over.

I couldn't help but think about this familiar passage:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-9

This is getting down the nitty gritty of experiencing God's perfect peace. I hadn't really zoned in on the word "mind" before in verse 7 where it says: And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Hmmm.... Very interesting! And the main message of the whole passage is all about keeping our focus STAYED on Him and our mind being steadfastly fixed on thankfulness and prayer and excellent and praiseworthy things from above. And even greater then that the promise that the Lord is NEAR! Oh to be in His presence!!! (and to not forget that no matter what we're feeling!) God's perfect peace flows out of all that.

I know this is a very quick and incomplete look into these verses. Yet God has been stirring a longing for His peace within me. And I began to connect some dots in the past few days! I see how it is connected to my state of mind. Beliefs, what fills my mind, keeping God's truth foremost has been a big part of my growth in the past year. I realize the importance of ensuring my mind is fixed fully on the Lord, not allowing any lies from Satan to permeate my mind, not allowing my focus to shift away from the Lord's perfect and pleasing will... I must keep my mind steadfastly stayed on Him alone and I WILL experience His perfect peace.

Thank you for your perfect peace, Lord. (Is. 26:3) My soul clings to You. Your right hand upholds me. (Psalm 63:8) I lay my requests before You and wait in expectation. (Psalm 5:3) Your name and renown is the desire of my heart. (Isaiah 26:8)

The Lord's Table~Day 35 to 42

It's been quite awhile since I posted my quick recaps of these lessons! But I continue doing one daily and always come away refreshed and challenged. I know it's not all that much fun reading lengthy posts about a study you're not even studying, so please know that the main reason I'm posting these recaps are for my own benefit, to have a quick snapshot of each lesson and lessons I've learned along the way. I have done the same with the "Thin Within" book a couple times.

That being said, here is my catch-up recap...

Day 35~Perseverance

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:1-5

Perseverance develops character.

Character develops hope.

Hope doesn't disappoint.

Mike Cleveland writes:

If we study the life of Abraham we can see that he was simply a "faithful plodder." How about you? Are you in this lifestyle change as a sprinter or a marathon runner? What are your thoughts?

My answer is: A faithful plodder for the most part! It feels like it's taking a long time to experience full victory in the area of overeating. But I keep plodding along! I keep on keeping on. I keep pressing on.

And here is one of my personal favorite verses that wasn't mentioned in this lesson but speaks of perseverance...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

I cling to that promise.

Perseverance must finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

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Day 36~God Nourishes His People

Christ Himself is the Bread of Life and He is "The Lord's Table" and is given to us for our nourishment. We begin to grow spiritually as we feed on Christ and do His will. As we grow we begin living in a self-controlled manner, and we develop habits of righteousness. These habits can last a lifetime and will mean permanent weight loss for us. The good news for us is that God nourishes His people. He causes us to grow. TLT workbook pg 117

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Day 37~Such Were Some of You

If we are sinners who are trying to be good we will inevitably fall. But if we are saints, who occasionally stumble and sin, then our nature is such that we hate sin, and our habitual pattern of life will be to walk in righteousness. TLT workbook pg 119

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Day 38~Food For the Soul

This lesson touches on the scripture I had discovered on our christmas travels: 2 Peter 1:5-8

Once again here is the chain...

1. Faith
2. Goodness
3. Knowledge
4. Self-control
5. Perseverance
6. Godliness
7. Brotherly kindness
8. Love

One thing that I took away from this lesson is to remember to focus on the fruits of the spirit. These are the new "clothes" of the new creation that I am in Christ. When Christ lives in me then I will bear fruit of the Spirit. Keep fixing my eyes on Christ. Let go of all sin that entangles. Nothing but Him satisfies fully so why would I even try to seek substitutes or have one foot on each side of the fence, serving two masters?


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Day 39~Live For Pleasure

The key is that we are to be a people who live for pleasure in God! TLT workbook pg 125

Ways I can do this are look to God for instruction, read and meditate on His Word, do His will, listen to praise music, pray and worship Him, read things that draw my eyes to Him, reach out and share His love and the gospel with others...and probably so much more!


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Day 40~Called to Suffer

I'm not sure about the premise of this lesson in regards to weight loss methods. I am not sure sure about needing to suffer to lose weight. I believe in "suffering" when denying fleshly lusts, but not necessarily "suffering" by denying hunger... Does that make sense? I think that our hunger and fullness are designed by God to help us take care of our bodies and we should be listening to our body's signals.

However this statement I do agree with...

The point is that God is glorified in our becoming free from sin, and there will be inevitable suffering in the flesh that comes as we are seeking to be free from sin. TLT workbook pg 129

"If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me." Luke 9:23

Deny myself.

Take up his cross.

This is a key verse I think. So often I do as I feel entitled, focussing on self. But my old self is crucified and I must deny self.

I must "die" daily to: greed, grumpiness, selfishness, anger, covetness, laziness, loose tongue.

As a new creation, as Christ lives in me I must "live" each and every day to: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I must do daily housecleaning of my heart.


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Day 41~We Must Master Sin

Lessons learned fro 1 Peter 5:8-11...

Be self-controlled and alert. Resist the devil. Stand firm in the faith. Remember others are suffering the same. Remember Christ will give victory and will perfect me one day.

The biggest thing I need to do right now is to get intentional again and pre-plan more. This is being ALERT. I will continue feasting on the Lord which is standing FIRM IN THE FAITH. I need to use the sword of the Spirit (His Word) to RESIST Satan. I began to take action here.


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Day 42~Seek First The Kingdom of God

If I am seeking Christ first I will eat in a careful manner, so that I enjoy my food as a gift of God and so that I do not overeat. TLT workbook pg 134

Food is a gift from God. This is a good reminder. I must be a good steward of this gift. When greed is present it is NOT glorifying to God.

Looking to Matthew 6:25-34 I am reminded that because God knows our needs I can trust Him to meet those needs. My job is to SEEK HIM and the rest will fall into place in God's own special way.

New Years Resolution: Christ Lives in Me

NOTE: my laptop keyboard went wonky in the middle of typing up this post, so some of the punctuation just didn`t work properly.

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Once again I am hearing God speak to me through a variety of sources all at once, which I think is so much more then a coincidence:-) Praise Him!

First of all the thing that hit me in today's TLT reading (day 37) was the verse:

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified. It is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me. My old self is killed. My new self is Christ abiding in me.

Then I moved to my Breaking Free study, focussing on Isaiah 58:6-12.

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

I remember studying this very passage in TLT on day 4. This is when I began to get the image of the well-watered garden. But I must take that portion of scripture a step further and see what precedes the well-watered garden image...

"If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed..." v. 9-10

I think I could sum up that portion saying that throwing off all hinderances (yokes of oppression) and becoming other-centered is the key to finding satisfaction in God and being like a well-watered garden.

Becoming other-centered... Something I have felt tugging at my heart the past couple weeks. Isn`t that what my reflection about being effective and productive and brotherly kindness and love being the key in 1 Peter 1:5-8 was all about just a week ago.

Beth Moore writes, based on this Isaiah 58 passage:

He promises that those who empty themselves of other pleasures will have themselves filled by something only He can give... If we pour out our lives to satisfy the needs of the oppressed, God will be faithful to satisfy our needs... Oh how I pray we will each discover glorious satisfaction in Christ; but when it's the real thing, we must find a place to pour the overflow of our lives. Captives truly set free are the most compassionate people in the world... A ministry to the truly oppressed helps purify our serving motives. You see, they don't have much to give back. Breaking Free workbook pg 215-216

Then I decided to continue doing a little reading from Philippians and what should I read but...

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:4-11

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

And then the passage moves into a description of Jesus' humility, obedience to God, sacrifice, other-centeredness.

After I finished my devotion time this morning I began mulling this all over in my head and the dots began to connect.

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. (Phil. 2:4) The satisfied soul is never a more beautiful display of God's splendor than when willing to empty self for the lives of others. (Beth Moore) I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. (Gal. 2:20)

Be like Jesus. Be other-centered for the glory of God. And the key is CHRIST LIVES IN ME! I am a new creation. My old self is crucified.

So, time for application and reflection on these truths.

This past year has been a lot of hard work, digging down deep and uncovering many of the lies and muck and gunk of the habitual sin of overeating. In the process I have uncovered some of the ``spoils`` from the battles. I need to ``snatch the plunder`` as Beth Moore so wonderfully describes in another chapter of Breaking Free.

There are spoils to be taken. Beloved, have you got them. When you went into that terrible valley of suffering did you come out with spoils. When that injury struck you and you thought everything was gone, did you so trust in God that you came out richer than when you went in. To be more than conqueror is to take the spoils from the enemy and appopriate them to yourself. What he had arranged for your overthrow, take and appropriate for yourself. Mrs. Charles E. Cowman (as quoted in Breaking Free workbook pg 212)

I can see some of the `spoils`of the battle for me are a much greater understanding and application of the truth of Scripture. I can see that I have grown greatly over this past year as I have gone into battle head on. I can see that I have been equipped and prepared to be used by God for greater purposes. I have discovered a hunger and thirst for the Word of God that I have never experienced so intensely before. And I have noticed that I have had so many opportunities over the past few months where this knowledge of Scripture has began to be used for God`s glory.

I want to continue becoming more rooted in the Word of God and in my relationship with Him and effective at using and applying and being a doer of His Word.

I desire to bring God glory by encouraging believers with the word of God and by drawing unbelievers to Jesus with the Word of God.

I greatly value each of the ladies I journey with online. I have so much appreciated the sharpening of each other`s faith that has been mutual. I have been blessed greatly by many of you and want to do the same in return in the upcoming year.

I am embarking on leading a bible study with a group of ladies starting this upcoming month. This is definitely out of my comfort zone as I haven`t done this very often. But I`m so excited to see all that God has in store for this journey in the year ahead. I long to pour myself into others more effectively and frequently and be used by the Lord for His glory.

My heart`s desire is also to return to Mexico this summer and once again reach out to the oppressed and hungry and needy. Jon and I are talking and trying to figure out where God is leading us. We certainly have a better idea of how to reach out more effectively to the families and community we visitted last year. We continue praying on this front.

I have a heart for evangelism and outreach. I find it interesting to note the ladies that He has brought into my life this fall. Two muslim ladies have been on my heart this fall and I`ve had some powerful and lovely visits with them, often quoting Scripture as I have felt the Lord prompting. Isn`t God awesome! And there are so many other ladies in my community who need the Lord. I know I have limitted time and energy, but I pray that God continues directing me where He desires me to place my energies and then that His Holy Spirit would empower me to make the most of each of these opportunities for God`s glory.

I desire and long to be the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing (2 Cor. 2:15)

Be like Jesus. Be other-centered to the glory of God the Father. And the key is CHRIST LIVES IN ME! Now that is a poweful new year`s resolution!

HAPPY NEW YEARS to each and every one of you dear friends!

Willful Rebellion lined up with God's Truth

Day 14 of Thin Within is called "Choosing to Build on Truth." Here's a quote from Thin Within on pg 148:

The next time you face the pantry, refrigerator, or cookie jar, and you're really not hungry, ask yourself what you believe about your quest to become a vibrant, healthy temple of God. Ask yourself (and the Lord) what actions would follow if you were to believe what God's Word of truth says about you? God has promised to empower you so that your actions reap results that give glory to Him and an abiding joy within.

The Thin Within book has an exercise on pg 148 where you list your belief, what actions follow and then what the results are. I've done this exercise before and found it quite powerful. That being said, it's time to pick apart some of the thoughts that I noticed line the walls of my mind in certain times of temptations and then find scriptures to line up my thinking with the mind of Christ, keeping in mind that I am under the canopy of God's grace. So here goes... When I'm willfully rebellious I am thinking...and Scripture says...


1.) I (SELF) am the most important. My desires are the most important. I want what I want when I want it...and I get what I want.

Jesus replied: “'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37

For you, O LORD, are the Most High over all the earth; you are exalted far above all gods. Psalm 97:9

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Proverbs 3:5

everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made. Isaiah 43:7

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

God is above all. I am His creation. My job is to glorify Him in all I do, trusting Him and loving Him with my heart, soul, mind and strength. It is NOT glorifying to Him when I gratify the desires of my flesh.


2.) I've tried calling out to God in the midst of temptation before and it hasn't worked, so why bother trying?

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1
Corinthians 10:13

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; James 1:2-7

Why bother??? Because God promises that perseverance is developped and perseverance must finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Plus I am being called to press on, forgetting what is behind (all those past failures) so that I may win the prize (eternal life). That's worth it! God promises a way out of temptation, an escape route. I need to keep pressing on and looking for that way out and praying that promise. And then of course there is the truth recalled in the previous point...my greatest purpose in life is to glorify God in all I do.


3.) It will make me feel so much better (to eat that ice cream etc)--more energy, more enjoyment etc.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. Proverbs 14:12

Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more. Eph 4:19

Taste and see that the LORD is good; Psalm 34:8

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. Psalm 63:5

Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. Psalm 81:10

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Isaiah 55:2

It may make me feel better temporarily, but ultimately I will have a continual lust for more, food will never truly satisfy and it will lead to continued captivity. God promises to satisfy me more then even the richest foods. HE will fill me up.


4.) Just get it done and over with. I can't resist. Why bother?

"everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made." Isaiah 43:7

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Gal. 5:1

and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:27

Why bother??? Because God created me for His glory and I am to glorify Him in ALL I do, even my eating and drinking. Because, once again perseverance must finish its work so that I may be complete and mature spiritually, not lacking anything. God desires me to be FREE, not a captive! "Don't give the devil a foothold!" has been resonating with me today.


5.) God doesn't care about this one time, does He? He'd forgive me anyways, right?

Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Romans 12:9

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Eph 4:30

Of course He cares about this one time! One time piles on top of another time on top of another time which becomes a mountain eventually! God is saddened by my sin. He wants me to hate what is evil and cling to what is good and never give the devil a foothold.


6.) I sin. God forgives. I can count on that!

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. Romans 6:1-4

What a rotten attitude I have! God forgives me. I certainly can count on that. But it is “greasy grace” to think that this is license to continue sinning with no concern for true repentance. If I love God with my whole heart, soul, mind and strength I will NOT want to grieve Him and I will want to turn to Him to satisfy me and fill me up. I will want to move far away from sin and ever so much closer to Him!



This willful rebellion is just one of the temptation points, triggers (fat/flesh machinery), that I face on a regular basis. My prayer is, "Keep your servant, Christina, also from willful sins; may they not rule over me." (Psalm 19:13)

My next step is to formulate a plan in the midst of willful rebellion.

So, what is my plan of action, breaking a link in the chain??? I guess I need to apply these truths of Scripture to these moments now. It's test time! I need to be a "doer" of God's Word, not just a hearer.

Today I was standing at the counter and was wanting to reach for some sweet treats and the verse that popped into my head was "don't give the devil a foothold." I think that may be one of the truths I will have near and dear to my heart for awhile. Because that is what I'm doing when I give in with those small little temptations. It may seem insignificant and small, but in all honesty, my willful rebellion in those moments are giving a foothold (which I liken to a rung on a ladder) to Satan. And I want no part in that!!!

I plan to get a small spiral bound notebook and write some of the Scriptures that seem most benenficial down on these pages, and attach it to a necklace of some sort so I can wear it around the kitchen! That's when I'm most tempted so I thought that may be a good reminder for me to really apply these truths. I'll get that notebook asap. Just have to get to the store. The first verse I'm going to print out is "and do not give the devil a foothold." I will aim to memorize whichever scriptures are in this little notebook.

And I will also continue watching and praying, putting up that "keep away" sign, saying aloud as Jesus did "Get away Satan, for it is written..." and praying the promises of the Lord.

Well, that's enough from me today. I appologize to those of you who read my blog, for being so long winded. I guess this blog is just my way of processing everything (essentially my journal) and it all spews out here, each and every thought that runs through my head and heart!!!

Struggling to be Consistent

I've really been struggling with consistent 0-5 eating for the past month or so. I know the downward spiral began around halloween with all the chocolates in the house. And it has continued to be a challenge to manage my sugar cravings with holiday treats and so on.

I think the TLT approach to eating has also contributed to a bit of the yo-yoing I've been doing. I had initially rejected the TLT study due to the extremely structured nature of the eating schedule - liquids, half days, normal days and fast days. When it came to my attention that I could follow 0-5 eating while doing TLT I decided it was worth pursuing. But I have to admit I have yo-yoed here and there, dabbling in the TW eating approach and then the TLT eating approach and then back again etc.

What I really felt convicted of today, as I looked at a shockingly high # on my scale, is to simply focus on consistency in 0-5 eating rather then getting swayed this way and that by the eating schedule of TLT program (which I am CERTAIN has its time and place and helps many people as they seek to surrender eating to the Lord). All I know is the gracious approach that TW endorses following 0-5 eating in surrender to the Lord has completely resonated with me. And I feel that I should primarily be aiming for the TW approach to eating.

So I move forward with this as my aim.

Consistency. No exceptions.

Fill up on God. Get fat on Jesus:-) I want this filling up to occur throughout the entire day, moment by moment, particularily in the midst of temptation.

Eat only when hungry, savouring the food and follow keys to conscious eating. Stop when satisfied.

Simple as that.

I know that I need to keep calling out to God throughout this whole process, looking to Him to satisfy me, the Living Water. If He calls me to fast I need to listen. If He calls me to stop in the middle of a cookie, I need to listen (as Paula wonderfully modelled today!). If I'm tired I need to find something other then a handful of candy to relax and rejuvenate me.

With that being said I think it is time for something that has worked for me in the past few months~another three day challenge for myself. Three days of no exceptions! (That's tough as I enter the weekend!)

So here I go planning for a few "trials" or challenges that will be ahead of me the upcoming three days, for which I will give account afterwards.

Today (Thursday):
I'm already hungry for supper but will wait until supper is ready in an hour. I will ask the Lord to help me discern how to eat a moderate amount. I should probably be going straight to a time of prayer and bible reading right about now!

Friday:
I'm volunteering for a school field trip. I hope to be hungry prior to heading to the school. If I'm not hungry I'll just bring along a granola bar or something quick to eat on the bus or at our destination.

In the evening we are heading to a buffet restaurant with some friends. I will just need to focus on keys to conscious eating, leaning on the Lord throughout. And I will need to avoid eating when I get home, when I'm kicking back my feet and relaxing! I think even holding our guinea pigs in my lap while watching a TV show could help me stay away from food and also satisfy my likely desire to veg a little.

Saturday:
Apart from the usual challenges to follow 0-5, the other hurdle that I may face is simply being hungry in time for the scheduled pizza supper during our drama dress rehearsal. I should be able to manage that, in the Lord's strength of course, if I'm not greedy for food earlier in the day. And then, after our church play performance, I should probably stay away from the refreshments and focus on the purpose of the time, which is to visit and mingle with friends and families. Plus we'll need to get the kids back home and into bed after a long tiring day so we won't stick around long. Next hurdle will likely be the tiredness that I will likely be feeling when I get home late in the evening after about 8 hours with 40 children and performing etc! I know I need to pray about this one in advance as this will be a very long and tiring day.

Sunday:
Usual daily challenges I will face. Just one step at a time with the Lord's help and strength. And once again a late night due to the second christmas drama performance in the evening. So I'll likely be feeling just a little tired out:-)

Well, that's about it for today. I will keep y'all updated:-) I probably won't be blogging too much the next few days due to all the things scheduled the next three days.

Thin Within~Day 9

God uses each and every experience of our lives to shape us. I am reminded of the image of the front and back side of a tapestry. As one friend pointed out recently the underside of the tapestry looks like a mess of threads going in directions that seem to make no sense at all! There are many colors of threads....and it just doesn't seem to make sense why there would be BLACK thread visible... Yet each and every color, woven in this precise fashion, is needed to make the beautiful front side of this tapestry. Even the black (symbolic of difficulties and trials) is needed to make the tapestry the masterpiece that it is!

Often life just doesn't make sense. Often it takes a long time before we begin to get a glimpse of the bigger picture, of the tapestry of our life that God is weaving. Many people experience deep valleys which seem to make no sense... But God will use all this to shape us, maturing and equipping us.

I appreciate this quote from Joni Eareckson Tada:

God uses suffering to purge sin from our lives, strengthen our committment to Him, force us to depend on grace, bind us together with other believers, produce discernment, foster sensitivity, discipline our minds, spend our time wisely, stretch our hope, cause us to know Christ better, make us long for truth, lead us to repentance of sin, teach us to give thanks in times of sorrow, increase faith, and strengthen character. TW pg 88

And the verse that has been in my thoughts and prayers so often lately, highlighted once again in this chapter....

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

I am so thankful that God has a purpose in all things.

Here are a few of my own life challenges that I highlighted when I first started my blog:

1.) Boarding school for my elementary school years.
It had it ups and downs. I felt fears and resentment at times. The experience nurtured me socially and has been used by God to make me into the person I am today. Having spent so much time with my peers during those growing up years has definitely shaped my approach to socializing in the present.

2.) Moving back to Canada at 12 years old.
I felt bitter and alone. As a result I made new friends, adjusted to Canada at a much earlier age then other MK friends of mine, which is a blessing in disguise! It has also spurred me on to befriend others as I understand what it feels like to be the "new" person!

3.) My daughter had Kawasaki Disease at age 3.
It was a heart wrenching time and I cried out to God more then I ever have in my life as her life hung in the balance. As a result I experienced greater intimacy with God, saw prayers answered and can now empathize better with others in similar situations.

4.) And now I can also add this weight struggle to the list!
Nearly a year has gone by since I first picked up a copy of this TW book. As I posted yesterday, many changes have taken place since last October! I have been overweight for most of my teenage/adult years... Yet it is through this "struggle" that I am growing spiritually...and have "shrunk" physically:-) Praise God for that!

Now onto today...

Christmas drama practice started at 8:30am. I wasn't hungry when I headed out so I just brought along an easy breakfast to eat when I got hungry, which worked well for me. Then the afternoon was tiring as I went shopping... I'm *not* a fan of shopping...especially on a Saturday afternoon! Anyways, I got through it! When I got home I was quite tired, hungry and grouchy...which was disappointing as I have been feeling challenged to not only surrender my eating, but also my emotions. So my family walked on eggshells for most of supper...and I knew I really needed to turn over a new leaf and offer them sincere appologies...so I did. The day has ended on a good note, for which I'm thankful:-)

Here's my exercise and eating log for today...

Exercise: x (I know I need to get moving this week!)
Eating:
0-3 at 8:45am
0-5 at 12:45pm
0-6 at 5:45pm

I was thinking about 0-5 eating today. I was thinking how I have realized my need to surrender each and every moment to the Lord in regards to eating. I continue to consider each and every 0-5 eating experience a huge victory! As I drove home from shopping this afternoon and felt my tummy rumble at about 4:30pm...I immediately started praising God and thanking Him for allowing me to feel this hunger and thanking Him for providing for my needs. I don't take this for granted as I have spent so much of my life NOT following 0-5 eating.

Okay, enough rambling from me tonight! I'm off to bed :-)

Taking Captive Every Thought for Christ

The day started off with a feeling of hope for the day ahead. I am thankful that God has brought many supportive TW journey companions into my life. What a blessing they are! I cracked open the TW book and read chapter 13 and was impacted by the reading....

And then...

Thing came crashing down!

First of all I will recount what my reading in TW was about and what hit me.

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but
what I hate I do. Romans 7:15

William Well-Meaning identifies with this battle. He wakes up, ready
to start his day with his Bible, his TW book, and his journal. He prays, studies, reads, and after a wonderful time of fellowship and communion with the Lord, he heads off to work, having promised the Lord that today will be different. Today he will give his body to God and live for Him. Today he will eat 0 to 5, being fully convinced that this will honor the Lord. Then what? William Well-Meaning, before he knows it, finds himself snacking on one thing or another, ultimately realizing that he is walking in the flesh. The very thing he hates is what he finds himself doing. TW pg 132

The book moves on to outline the two different paths we often travel: the path of God's provision and the path of my performance. The above mentioned character, William Well-Meaning was travelling on the path of his performance, despite his good start to the day! My name could definitely replace William Well-Meaning's!

The point of the chapter is to walk moment by moment with God, observing and correcting, looking to God for that way out of temptation that He promises to provide (1 Cor. 10:13), taking every thought and making it obedient to Christ.

I love this paragraph:

God will not fail to keep His promise to provide you with a way out of
temptaion. He will continue to help you no matter how many times you cry out, 'Lord, I am sorry. I did it again.' No matter how
often you find yourself on your face before Him, He will always, always, always offer His hand, lift you up, embrace you, brush away your tears, cleanse you and give you a clean robe of righteousness. TW pg 134-135

After my early morning TW read I walked away with the following scripture resonating with me and challenging me...

...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

I thought, "I'm going to aim to take captive every thought for Christ today!" Do I sound like good old William here! I'm not sure I even prayed about it to tell you the truth!

Then the "test" came! My 6 year old daughter (who fits every characteristic of the "real" princess from the "princess and the pea" fairytale when it comes to clothing) was NOT ready in time for school.

Backing up a few years... Ever since she was a toddler she has been quite "picky" about everything she wears. Socks, underwear, pants, shirts, jackets, sweaters, hats, mitts, shoes, boots....you name the clothing item, she will CERTAINLY have had a problem with it! We have dealt with the problem over the years one step at at time, trying to help her move past these "princess" qualities:-) But we're back in a tight spot again, particularily with regard to pants...

So, this morning she was having trouble finding pants to wear, but didn't let me know. I was pretty sure she was all dressed and good to go. (In hindsight I should really have done a bit more investigating since her bedroom door was closed...my knock asking if everything was alright wasn't sufficient.) Anyways, she ended up NOT being ready & couldn't find clothes that felt comfortable.

And did I take that very moment captive for Christ???????

Did I even think about that verse that I had just read one hour before?????

NO!!!! How sad is that!

So, we proceeded to have a very heated exchange... I became "monster mommy" or in her words I was "mean" to her. I let my frustration just boil right over and spew out of my mouth.

Okay, now for the good stuff....which hit me on my morning walk/jog this morning (yes i actually got out to exercise after a month hiatus from exercise!).

I obviously and clearly did NOT take that above mentioned moment captive for Christ as I blew up and did not exhibit gentleness, love, self-control and patience to my daughter.

BUT the good news, that God drew to my attention this morning, is that I DID take the next moment captive for Him. The whole situation didn't become a waste, a complete failure...

I moved on to ask for forgiveness from my daughter. She said sorry to me for things I didn't even realize she had done in those heated moments. She actually said sorry for yelling at me...something I hadn't even pinpointed as one of the errors of the situation. We hugged. I said how much I loved her etc. etc. All that sweet mommy stuff. And then the best part is that we prayed together. We both asked God for forgiveness for our parts in things, very specific things as well. It was a beautiful moment that I know was God-glorifying. I could tell things were restored and made new and actually will be better then before. Thanks, Lord!

So the lesson I have learned from this situation, which had nothing to do with eating as you tell, is that maybe in one moment of a situation we may not have taken our thoughts captive for Christ....but we can always choose to observe, correct and take captive the NEXT moment's thoughts and actions and make them obedient to Christ as we lean on Him and look to Him. We just need to call out to Him and step onto the path of His provision. There is an EXIT in every situation, back onto the path of His provision.

Flying Free

I don’t even really know where to start putting my thoughts into words... I think this is going to be a long post as I sort out my ramblings!

My first thought that I really want to share is how thankful I am for all the wonderful friends I’ve met online. I know I’ve said thank you before, but you are really truly such an inspiration and blessing and encouragement to me. You are a gift from God!

My second thought is that I feel like I’m entering a new stage/phase! I think I could liken what I’m feeling to a baby being connected to it’s mother with the umbilical cord in the womb and once it is ready to come out into the world the cord is severed and the baby moves on, growing up, dependant yet also independent of mom.

I feel like the past six months have been a time of growing and learning as I’ve followed TW principles. I’ve been extremely focussed, calling out to God for help through this entire time and seeking to surrender all to Him, daily reading my TW book (on my fourth time through it!), faithfully tracking my eating and hunger #’s, working through the Thin Again book and questions and also posting on this blog. It’s been intense and yet SOOOOO worth it! A wonderful foundation has been laid. God has really been at work in my heart and changing me into a new creation. Praise Him!

I have been feeling a little challenged over the past while to re-consider what I post to my food log. Finally, yesterday, when Paula posted that she was simply going to log her hunger #’s it was like the nudge I needed. It is time to cut loose this practice I’ve been faithfully doing. Last night at supper felt so strange as I knew I wasn’t going to “tell” anyone what I ate for supper! Not sure how describe it! It was almost like I had this weird mix of “oooh, I can eat whatever I want!” mixed with the good choice of sticking with what I’ve been doing for the past number of months following 0-5 conscious eating and healthy choices. I just was really struck by how I could be so impacted by such a simple change. I can see how it became legalistic (and almost like a diet law) for me…yet at the same time I know that is what I needed for a time and wouldn't change it!

As I near the end of the TW book once again I think it will be time to move onto new reading material as well. I was thinking of doing the TW workbook next for my devotional material, but am re-thinking this as I want to be sensitive to God’s leading of which material He desires me to study and grow with. Maybe the TW material won’t need to be so much the focus, now that the foundation has been laid and I certainly feel like it is becoming more natural to live within 0-5. I want my relationship with God to grow and blossom more and more, which is really what TW is about at the very core of it! I really loved “Living beyond yourself: exploring the fruits of the spirit” by Beth Moore, as I studied this in the fall/early spring. I am doing another Beth Moore study on David, but still preferred the fruits of the spirit study. My point is that I am looking forward to finding something to really chew on and help me grow! Ideas anyone?

Summer is fast approaching which will come with many challenges. One of the challenges will be that I will not have the same kind of online support available as we travel for much of the summer. The other big challenge that I have experienced in the past is change in routines—lots of s’mores and bannock around the campfire, snacking in the vehicle for long drives, and then all the “tourist” eating that comes with travels. I will need to come up with a plan of action for how to deal with these temptations (will post on that at another time). I know this summer will be a time of testing this foundation, if there are any holes in it, observing and correcting and growing, and leaning FIRST AND FOREMOST on God for my support and help. It will be an interesting challenge I’m sure!

I feel like this year God has been guiding me to focus on my relationship with Him and on my heart. In the process many of the ministries that I have been actively part of in the past have been put on hold. Well, I guess it has been a mixture of both kids being in school for the first time as well, which really was an adjustment in itself. Anyways, this year has been a time of great reflection and growth for me...maybe a bit of a sabbatical! I sense that God is preparing me for something new and awesome:-) Don't know what yet! But am looking forward to it! This summer our family is heading down to Mexico to visit/serve at an orphanage for two weeks... I really feel that God is going to use that time to further reveal His vision and purpose for my life. I really desire to be His instrument.

So, am I ready to fly free? I don’t know, but I feel I’m being nudged out of that nest, being encouraged by God to move forward into this next stage with confidence and trust in Him.

"But those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:31

April 9

April 9th food log:
(Chapter 9)

“God uses each and every tear we have shed and every pain we have experienced to form and mold our character, to strengthen us, and to draw us closer to His heart. He wants us to experience His strength and sufficiency. He uses affliction to cause us to see our need for Him and our struggles with food, eating, and our bodies to send us to Him, to look for HIS solution. In our weakness, He is made strong. He uses even this personal battle you are experiencing and He will redeem it for His glory.” P. 87/88

“Anita, a participant who released twenty pounds, said ‘Through TW I came to see that the trials I had faced and the way I had chosen to deal with them—by running to food—were actually God’s way of calling me into closer fellowship with Him. When my food and eating problem became desperate, I saw my need for a great deliverer. God has taken my trials and hardships, and used them to build my character and transform my life.’” P88

MARCH - TW ch 9

March 9th:

Challenging experience exercise:

1.) Boarding school. It had it ups and downs. I felt fears and resentment at times. The experience nurtured me socially and has been used by God to make me into the person I am today.
2.) Moving back to Canada at 12 years old. I felt bitter and alone. As a result I made new friends, adjusted to Canada at a much earlier age then other MK friends of mine, which is a blessing in disguise!
3.) My daughter had Kawasaki Disease at age 3. It was a heart wrenching time and I cried out to God more then I ever have in my life as her life hung in the balance. As a result I experienced greater intimacy with God, saw prayers answered and can now empathize better with others in similar situations.

I am disappointed that I didn’t apply TW principles to my 6pm eating. I kind of knew I was stepping onto the slippery slope when I took a handful of popcorn. And it kind of just kept slipping from there. I am planning on printing up my list of “preparing for trials” to place on the fridge for future trials. I’d really love to apply these solutions.