Accountability Tool

It's time to press the re-start button once again! So I started another accountability blog, separate from this blog, since it will contain more of the nitty gritty "mundane" details and ramblings of each and every thing I eat:-) I am hoping this public form of accountability will once again be the motivation I need to be consistent once again. I know it was a helpful tool at the beginning of my TW journey.

So, without more ado, here is my first post that is already posted on my new blog, Fresh Start....

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It's time to jump in all the way! I'm going to aim to be brutally honest from here on in... I have to admit I am filled with a lot of trepidation, but I know that I need to dive in. And I also know my tendency to hide and slip and slide generally decreases when I am serious about being transparent and an open book.

This is only one small part of my life...yet I long to experience the transforming touch of Jesus in this area. More and more I am seeing my similarities to the prodigal son, doing things my own way, gluttonous and really just ruining my own life when I follow my own flesh desires and turn away from Father.

But I know that Papa has His arms open wide. Actually He runs to me. He wants me to stay with Him. He wants me to enjoy all the blessings and provisions that He can offer. Because He loves me.

So I run to Him. I don't want to hide. I don't want to run away. I want to stay right here in Papa's presence, eating at His table, and enjoying all the best that He desires for me.

Will it be easy? I know this is going to be tough because my gluttonous lazy fleshly desires are in overdrive right now!!! But I'm pressing the restart button and starting afresh, in Papa's loving embrace.

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To check out my new accountability blog, click here.

Accountability check-in

I thought I'd touch base on Thin Within related matters. I'm struggling with sticking with 0-5 eating. The past week I've almost completely reverted to my old self--greedy for food, not eating consciously or in present-time. It's amazing how quicky I can revert. The other night my tummy was so overfull and sore...and I'm not sure I even savoured the food that I stuffed into my body. The verses I felt impressed on my heart this past week were:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come. ALL THIS IS FROM GOD. 2 Corinthians 5:17-18a
(emphasis added)

You were taught with regard to your former way of life, to PUT OFF YOUR OLD SELF, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to BE MADE NEW in the attiude of your minds and to PUT ON THE NEW SELF, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24 (emphasis added)

I must not forget all the Lord has worked in me, changing me. He has brought me so far. Though I feel a sense of discouragement and even a lack of desire to persevere, I know in my heart submitting to Him is the ONLY path to peace and righteousness, worshipping and elevating Him alone.

Lord, forgive me for falling so short and reverting to the old self. Help me persevere. Help me see with Your eyes. Cut out that root of greed in my heart. In your power, by your provisions and by your grace I step forward. Amen.

Saturday check-in

Checking in for my personal challenge:

#1. No eating in front of the TV unless it is a meal.
I didn't eat in front of the TV though I felt tempted once again.

#2. 11pm bedtime.
I went to bed around 11:15 again. I guess it is better than midnight... And I've been waking up at a more reasonable time in the mornings again and feeling a bit more rested.

#3. Exercise 5x this week.
Went jogging and biking today. So that makes it four days so far this week. Woohoo!

#4. No desserts this week.
Hmmm...got a little greedy again in this department with some scones.

Friday check-in

Checking in for my personal challenge:

#1. No eating in front of the TV unless it is a meal.
I didn't eat in front of the TV tonight though I REALLY felt tempted to munch on some popcorn while watching TV with Jon, as written about in last post. Praise God for that victory step.

#2. 11pm bedtime.
I am planning on being in bed by 11pm. Pretty sure that is how the night is lining up. The kids went to bed early at 8pm leaving me with some "down" time for the past two hours. It's harder to go to bed earlier when they head to bed at 9-10pm as they had been the past two weeks.

#3. Exercise 5x this week.
I didn't exercise. I have to squeeze two more days of exercise in, so I'm aiming for Sat. and Sun.

#4. No desserts this week.
I was able to bypass the coconut cream pie and the peanut butter chocolate chip cookies tonight at supper! Can hardly believe it! The funny thing is that I really didn't think I'd find the "exit"...and said that aloud!

"I don't want to eat dessert...but how can I resist this pie?"

And Jon answered, "I don't want a small piece. I want a BIG piece."

I laughed and knew that was exactly the "out" I needed because it was just one large piece of pie that would have had to have been split between three of us leaving us with three small slivers... So, I proceeded to slice it in two pieces and gave one to him and one to my daughter. It made me smile because it was the perfect line that my husband came up with! LOL He was giving me the "out":-) I opted to just have a yogurt instead.

I want to munch...

on...

AAAHHH!

It's Friday night. I am looking forward to reclining on the couch and watching a show with my husband...and oh, how I want to munch on popcorn!

But I'm not hungry. It's not a mealtime. And I'm not going to, right?!

Lord, help me push past these feelings. Help me remember that the temporal pleasure is not worth it in the long run. Help me find the way out. Amen.

Thursday check-in

Checking in for my personal challenge...

#1. No eating in front of the TV unless it is a meal.
Once again I didn't eat while watching TV.

#2. 11pm bedtime.
Went to bed closer to 11:15-30 again....

#3. Exercise 5x this week.
Not today. But I'll aim to complete my 5x by exercising Friday and Saturday.

#4. No desserts this week.
I had a small slice of pie tonight after supper. I had made a coconut cream pie and served it when my parents and my in-laws were here at my place this evening. That doesn't give me an excuse to eat it of course... Whatever the case I was within 0-5. From here on in I will stay away from the desserts. My in-laws are leaving today so things will be settling back to normal around here. Of course that is only for a few days because we're heading down to Mexico in a few days!!! Can't believe that is around the corner!!!

On a victory note... After my slip up on Wednesday night (eating that bread and banana bread) I decided to be really careful and wait for hunger the next morning. I started the day with a great time with the Lord...and He graciously strengthened me and helped me wait it out. I bypassed breakfast with the family (with Jon, the kids and in-laws), which didn't feel awkward as I kept myself busy puttering around the house. I ended up getting hungry later in the morning, opted to just wait a little longer, and then was good and hungry when it was lunchtime. It felt wonderful to be on track and within the boundaries of victory once again. And then, adding one more step forward, I was careful how much I ate at lunch, and was then hungry for supper. Woohoo! I'm very thankful for the Lord's power, provisions and equipping...and grace.

Wednesday check-in

Checking in for my personal challenge this week:
#1. No eating in front of the TV unless it is a meal.
Once again I didn't eat while watching TV.

#2. 11pm bedtime.
My in-laws are at our place and after they headed to bed Jon and I continued talking...a bit too late. So I didn't really get to bed until closer to 11:15-11:30.

#3. Exercise 5x this week.
Day three of exercise this week. I jumped rope for 20 minutes.

#4. No desserts this week.
Once again, a kinda no answer from me. I "cheated" a little bit by eating 1/2 scone at lunch and 1.5 slice banana bread after the supper main course. We have my in-laws here and it was a low sweet, less rich kind of treat...so I went for it. But it is not exactly what I wanted for the week.

Okay, confession time..... I am saddened that I missed out on a learning opportunity that I had last night. I had baked a fresh loaf of bread in the breadmaker for tomorrow (which is now today's) lunch. Somehow I was able to stuff away the truth, pushing it as far back as possible at the first possible sound of that little voice of reason and truth...and headed to try a slice at 10pm. After my in-laws headed to bed, I went for some more bread.....and added to that some banana bread. Ugh.

I didn't feel past #5. However I knew I had NOT set myself up for victory for the next day's eating. I had an inkling that I'd regret the choices...but forgot how MUCH I regret the choice the next day. This morning I woke up feeling awful about the choices I'd made. I felt saddened that I'd missed out on learning a way out of the temptation. I felt awful thinking how much I'd eaten. And I felt renewed concern about weight gain and not loss...when in fact I'd like my weight to settle down to a more reasonable level before we head to Mexico next week. The extra snack (which was also extra large) is not going to help me meet that goal.

I also just finished reading "Freedom from Emotional Eating" by Barb Raveling and it was SUCH a great chapter at the end....and I feel saddened, with all the great knowledge and tools she presented, that I didn't take hold of the truth. I was really so encouraged by each study in that last chapter over the past few days. Missing out on the learning opportunity was a bit like twisting a knife in the back! I want another one!!! hahaha! Oh boy, that's a little strange isn't it!

Okay, I will probably get my wish and have more temptations today. I have my in-laws here still. And then tonight my parents are coming over. There is always more food around...and more on a time schedule...during company visits. Plus tonight I'm going to make and serve a coconut cream pie (my dad's favorite) but I intend to bypass. So it looks like I have some more learning opportunities in disguise! LOL

Tuesday check-in

Checking in for my personal challenge this week:

#1. No eating in front of the TV unless it is a meal.
I didn't eat while watching TV.

#2. 11pm bedtime.
I went to bed at 10:45pm.

#3. Exercise 5x this week.
I exercised day 2 of this week - jumped rope for 20 minutes.

#4. No desserts this week.
I kinda followed through with the dessert thing...though I make it a question mark because I did have a small scone after pizza at suppertime. I think of scones as more of a biscuit as it isn't very rich or sweet...so that's why I say I "kinda followed through." Anyways, better then I would usually do.

Monday check-in

Okay, I promised in this post that I'd touch base here each day this week giving account for how I followed through with each of the resolutions I felt called to.

#1. No eating in front of TV unless it is a meal.
Yes, I managed to not only not eat in front of the TV...but also to not even turn the TV on today. :-)

#2. 11pm bedtime.
Last night I must confess I didn't get to bed until 11:10pm...which is actually a step in the right direction still! At least it wasn't midnight! Tonight I'm aiming to head straight to bed after this post! So I'm hoping to be in bed, lights out by 11pm:-)

#3. Exercise 5x this week.
Well, I got it in one time this week! Yay! This is a big accomplishment! I haven't been doing much exercise at all over the past 2 months....*gulp* time sure does fly!

#4. No desserts this week.
Followed through with this. It wasn't easy this evening...but I made it! I got through it:-) I'm not getting too nit-picky about what this means exactly, how many grams of sugar is allowed etc. But I mainly just want to steer clear of sugary treats after lunch or dinner.

Hold me to account, please!

Okay, today I am setting a few resolutions for the upcoming week. I'll give account each day here. So, here they are....

#1. No eating in front of the television unless it is a meal. (on Sunday nights we often watch America's Funniest Videos as a family with a popcorn supper) So, that means NO SNACKING in front of the TV. And I want to stick with this until at least the end of the summer. It's going to be tough because it has become a habit over the past few months. On weekends, once the kids are in bed, I love popping up some popcorn and munching in front of the TV. Maybe I can keep my hands busy with some crocheting (!). I think I could figure that out again if I took a stab at it!

#2. Bedtime needs to be 11pm at the latest, so I can be up at a reasonable time.

#3. I'm going to exercise 5x this week. NO EXCUSES! I just have to get moving! Going to bed earlier should help with that.

#4. No desserts this week. Ooooh, this will be a hard one. But I know this will be a wise choice.

In response to "What Do *YOU* Want?"

As I prepare to once again dive into the "Thin Within" book and join Heidi and many others on the journey, here are some questions that Heidi presented today:

What DO you want? What ARE you willing to do to get it? How willing are you to experience a process that looks very different from what you expect...? Even if it is ugly? :-)

What do I want?

What I want this time round from a physical standpoint...is to relax into the rhythm of my body's natural God-given cues and signals. I just want to go with the flow and for this way of approaching my health to become second nature.

I also plan on staying away from the scale (with the exception of possibly the doctor's office mid June). I hope to keep the focus away from the number on the scale and more on this becoming my way of life, through all the ups and downs. I don't want my success or failure measured by a number on a scale. I want to move more and more (as I already have been for the past year) toward stepping back and simply observing and correcting, and lining the walls of my mind with truth which I pray spurs me on to action.

My approach has been quite impacted by "The Lord's Table" study. So, in combination with TW and TLT (and throw in a little `Freedom from Emotional Eating`and `Breaking Free`) I would say my main goals and objectives, which I hope to have cemented further as I study TW this time round are:

#1. Soul Satisfaction

I want the Lord to be my satisfaction, to fill all the empty places of my heart and life, to draw close to Him, to be intimate with Him, to abide with Him, to be changed by Him, to be transformed more and more into His image.

#2. Transformed by the renewing of my mind.
I desire for truth to line the walls of my mind. I desire to take my thoughts captive and make obedient to Christ.

#3. 0-5 Eating

I hope for conscious eating to become more ingrained in me as I study TW once again. I desire for it to flow naturally and become second nature. And I intend on these boundaries being my primary measure of `success`or being `on track`rather then the man-made scale.

#4. Physical Exercise
I also desire to keep my body moving. No big expectations. But simply a few times a week getting some intentional movement in....20 minutes 3-4x a week is usually my aim.

What am I willing to do to get it?

I know God has already been working in my heart and life in this area for the past few months. I put away the scale at the end of April and feel that I finally have moved to a new phase of my journey where the scale can be retired. Praise God! I've been yo-yoing back and forth with this one for nearly a year!

I am committed to reading the TW book in sync with the blogger community "group."

I am firmly committed to accountability (specifically in regards to those four points up above). I will be accountable primarily to a smaller group forum that I'm part of where I post a daily check in. This blog will also serve (as it has in the past) as a form of accountability for me.

How willing are you to experience a process that looks very different from what you expect...? Even if it is ugly? :-)

I'm definitely willing and ready! Lord, change me! Please!

Specifically...HOW? Well I guess I mainly feel I will just hang on and abide with the Lord! I know there will be plenty of ups and downs with this journey but I intend to continue hanging on for the ride! I believe "perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:4) And I continue to hold tightly to the God's rainbow promises to me:

"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil. 1:6

Ultimately I think what may be the most important question may be WHAT DOES GOD WANT? And I believe the answer is that He wants my heart, all of my heart. I posted Beth Moore`s hairbrush story awhile back and was just re-reading it today and here is a quote that stuck out to me:

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting,'Wow! What a ride! Thank You, Lord!'

What an image! And what an adventure this journey continues to be! So many ups and downs and in-betweens. My one desire is for there to be more of Him in my life and less of me. May He increase and I decrease. Amen.

Truth Journaling ~ Sugary Stuff

Here's something I truth journaled just yesterday evening. I think my version of "truth journaling" is blended with the "Thin Within" observation/correction model. Ultimately I'd say both approaches are aimed at taking every thought captive and making them obedient to the Lord and to be transformed by the renewing of the mind.

"...we take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

"...be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

Situation:
Sugar is like a web, sucking me into its' vice grip day after day. The situation that drove me to journal about it was my overindulgence in sweet treats after eating a good well balance dinner....starting with eating a large slice of oreo cheesecake...which led to eating some slivers of cheesecake as I put it away.....which led to eating some jelly beans....which led to eating some cinnamon toast crunch cereal. What a slippery slope I was on!!!!

#1. I think it's okay to have sugar in moderation each day.
True. But am I able to eat sugar in moderation? Or do I need to cut it loose for a season? Right now it is my master and I am its slave. Fasting from sugar may be an act of submission to the Lord that is needed right now. My body and life need to be a living sacrifice to the Lord. I cannot serve two masters. If I feel I can't live without it, this probably reflects that I need to be challenged to try!

"No one can serve to masters." Matthew 6:24 (though this is in direct reference to money, it still seems very applicable to food)

"Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship." Romans 2:1

#2. Sugary stuff is the only thing that sounds good to eat at this moment. This is certainly true. But pre-planning healthy options may help. Healthy stuff will likely sound more appealing if it is ready and available. A lot of my eating choices are based on how quick, accessible and visible the food is...particularily sugar.

#3. Sugary stuff is the only thing that hits the spot.
Not quite true. I'm in a rut where my tastebuds are wired to *crave* sugar. Many other things could hit the spot if I gave them a chance! I just need to get out of this cycle. And on top of everything, GOD should ultimately be the only ONE to "hit the spot"....certainly not food.

#4. I'm not past a #5 yet and really want some jelly beans (after the cheesecake...and extra slivers of cheesecake as I put it away).
That kind of attitude sets me on the slippery slope to defeat. Not only will I likely never feel that satisfied feeling that I'm looking for (rarely does it hit me when I'm eating sugar)...but I will likely also go past a #5 and eat till my tummy hurts and then to top it all off, I'll feel guilty because I stepped outside the boundaries I feel called to. Pushing my hunger #'s like this reflects the greed in my heart and the mastery of sugar and lack of submission to the Lord.

#5. That cinnamon toast crunch cereal looks so yummy. I want some. It can count as part of my supper meal, since I just ate an hour ago (after oreo cheesecake, extra slivers and jelly beans).
The cereal looked (and was) yummy. Unfortuantely I'm still continuing on the dangerous slippery slope. It led to MUCH extra eating. Boundaries are important and prudent in this situation. Once I push my chair away from the dinner table I need to learn to be done. No ifs ands or buts! Eating past that point is greedy (for me at this time) and once again food (usually sugar) is master. It is no longer beneficial for me.

"Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12

So, in response to this truth journaling and the strong awareness I have that I am allowing sugar to take a high place in my own life, I felt led to take simply one day where I abstained from desserts. I sometimes take a stronger stance and aim to not eat dessert for a week, a month etc... But this time it was just for one day.... And the battles I faced today were really quite unbelievable considering I was only aiming FOR ONE DAY!!!! Obviously I'm needing to take these fleshly thoughts and desires captive and make them obedient to Christ.

First, I was gravitating towards a cappacino/flavored coffee drink... But I knew that was a sugary treat and also knew that I need to avoid caffeine.

Secondly, Jon's birthday cheesecake was beckoning me AGAIN at dinner this evening! I left the table, cleaned up the dishes, sat and talked with Jon for awhile, cracked open the bible and read those verses from 1 Cor. 6:12 and then posted to my accountability group as follows....

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7:00pm
Oh, I don't feel like posting this right now....but this may very well be exactly what I need to do to choose to do the right thing. I had planned to avoid dessert for just one day (that is TODAY!)....and oh how that oreo cheesecake is calling my name. I've been toying with whether or not to eat a piece for the past half hour....and still don't know what I'm going to do. I know that all things are permissible but not all things are beneficial to me. All things are permissible but I should be mastered by nothing but God. I'm really struggling to do what I know in my heart is the right thing... I'll touch base with y'all later and let you know what I end up doing....

Lord, help me make the right choice right now. I am really struggling wtih what my flesh is desiring. Yet I know that you alone satisfy. Nothing else should master me. Nothing else should take the highest place in my heart and life. Help me be obedient and submissive to you in all things, particularily right now as I contemplate this dessert. Help me surrender to your will. Make your will very evident to me, I pray. Amen.

7:15pm
Okay, the tempation has passed! The battle is over! I can't believe it!!! Praise God! I just decided to have some watermelon and closed the book on even considering the cheesecake. Woohoo! Thank you Lord!!!!!!

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All I can say is PRAISE GOD for answered prayer! Praise God for renewing my mind.

I'm not sure what tomorrow holds, but I will keep seeking God.

Challenge #1 - Eating at "0"

My daily accountability group is doing a week by week challenge covering the eight keys to conscious eating that are unpacked in the Thin Within book. I know that others were doing similar challenges over the past few months at the TW forums and also Heidi highlighted each of the keys on her blog.

What does "0" feel like for me?
"0" or physiological hunger feels like an ache in my belly. I can usually feel it approaching. And then after the ache my stomach usually starts to audibly rumble. Sometimes there is no rumble, but usually the ache. I can tell the difference between hunger and digestion gurgling sounds because first, I know if it is shortly after eating it is clearly digestion, and secondly, the rumbling is a different sort of sound, a lot more urgent sounding (!) and accompanied by that ache. What does hunger feel like for you?

Do I usually eat at "0"?
This is a real challenge for me. I like to make this my aim though I struggle on a daily basis with being consistent. It's amazing how easy it is to slide out of the "routine" of eating at "0." When I'm in the "eating at '0' mode" then it's almost like a rhythm that I'm part of. When I'm out of the routine...well then it's like I'm just completely out of time and out of tune with my body's needs and signals.

I embrace hunger!
I think it is one of the neatest "shadows" of Scriptural truth. We all need food to survive physically. Without food we are weak, malnourished, dying. Physical hunger reminds me that I not only need physical food...but I also need SPIRITUAL food. Without filling up on the Lord, feasting at His table in His word and prayer, abiding and remaining with Him and in step with Him, I am spiritually weak, malnourished and dying. (I just felt that the last day or two as I was seriously lacking a good meal at His table as the busyness of life caught up with me!)

As I authentically open wide my mouth (spiritually speaking) and fill up on the Lord I believe He begins to increase in my life and I begin to decrease. And as I begin to decrease my heart's desire and prayer is that my greed for food and my running to food when I'm NOT at "0" (physically hungry) will also begin to diminish and decrease as well.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Anyone else care to join us in this weekly challenge? We're moving onto Key#2 (Eat in a calm environment by reducing distractions) on Sunday.

Life, in a Nutshell

My posting has certainly slowed down lately! I feel a lack of meaningful things to say:-) LOL! Here's a quick update from my end....

Just barely touching the tip of the iceberg with day to day life...

My youngest has been under the weather for the past two weeks. I'm hoping and praying she is on the mend now. This morning she woke up bright and early, came upstairs ALREADY DRESSED, her bed made, was helping herself to breakfast and got her hair and teeth brushed....WITHOUT A WORD FROM ME!!!! Isn't that a miracle! I thought she definitely must be on the mend when I saw that. (She really wanted to go on the computer onto "Webkinz World" before school which I guess motivated her to get ready faster! I'll take that!)

My eldest daughter has had some growing pains in regards to independance issues. She is only 9 years old, but it feels like she is going on 13 years old. But the Lord is good and we are all learning and growing together.

My lunch hour supervision job is going fine. I have my really UP days (like yesterday, when I went on and on to my husband about how much I loved my job and how much I was learning). And then I have my DOWN days when it feels like I know NOTHING at all about problem solving with kids!!!

I am very thankful for a group of ladies who I am journeying with daily. They are such a blessing from the Lord.

As a result of daily accountability and increased support, encouragement, sharpening and prayer, I have found a greater degree of balance and surrender to the Lord in each area of my life: spiritually, physically (with eating and exercise) and emotionally. Praise God.

The Lord has been filling me up each day. It seems He keeps teaching me new things each and every day. I can't help but get excited to hear from Him! Yesterday I stumbled across some familiar verses in Lamentations...

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:22-24

The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him is my prayer this morning. I wait in expectation for all that the Lord has in store for the day! All the things He will teach me. All the words He will speak to me. All the ways He will answer my prayers. All the ways He will use me for His purposes and ways for His glory alone. He alone satisfies. May I decrease and Him INCREASE greatly!

Just a quick note to say...

The new "Transformed" group blog is up and running, as described here. I'm really excited about the ladies who have come on board! We're going to go with a private blog format. So, if you're interested in joining, please let me know! Email me at mythinwithinjourney@gmail.com.

Transformed blogspot

I've been thinking a bit more about how I want to pursue accountability... I was ready to put my last food & exercise log to rest and start with a clean fresh slate.

As a result I created a new blog called "Transformed." You can read about the purpose of the blog here. I'm thinking it would be pretty neat to have a "group" or "team" blog, with multiple contributors, if anyone is interested.

In the meantime I'm going to jump right in and start posting there:-) Boy I'm going to have everyone confused with all my blogspots!

Here is the rundown of my blogs and their various focuses:

Rainbow Promises (that's here of course!) - I aim to have a pretty general focus on all aspects of my spiritual walk, though often my tendency is to dwell on surrendering food/eating to the Lord. I'll continue posting here as the Lord leads.

I am thankful for... - This blog is all about counting my blessings and praising God with a grateful heart!

Transformed - I'm envisioning the aim of this being focussed primarily on eating/exercise (though that may change depending on who is interested in joining me). I have listed a series of questions to reflect on each day.

Okay, enough from me for today!

How the day went...

Yesterday went okay... I actually ended up being quite stressed for a large part of the day because my older daughter was really testing me! Grrr.... Oh well, it was still a good day. It's just hard to see her growing up and not my "little" girl anymore:-( And I really have to learn to display the fruits of the spirit to her~love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

So in regards to eating, here's how it went.

Breakfast: As I said, I was hungry (though not rumbly) for breakfast and had a moderate amount of food, staying within 0-5.

Lunch: I was actually rumbly hungry, which was a surprise for me:-) I wish, in hindsight, that I'd eaten a little lighter of a lunch. I ended up eating just one small piece of bread, a cheese string and some veggie/fruit juice...staying within 0-5 once again. Doesn't seem like a lot, but that seemed to tide me over right until supper.

Supper: I didn't have rumbly hunger, but was beginning to feel hunger. I thoroughly enjoyed the meal at my parent's place and enjoyed the conversation and visit. My mom always spoils me on my birthday! She's pretty special:-) I took a very small sliver of cake (which stunned my mom!) as I wanted to have some room for treats later.

Then Jon and I went to DQ and I had a blizzard which I thoroughly enjoyed and then we went and rented a movie (Becoming Jane) and snuggled, with some popcorn in hand, to watch the movie. (We were originally going to go to the movie theater but then the timing was just off...so we opted for a movie at home.)

I was pushing it with regards to 0-5 in many ways, because my evening eating was over such an extended time. I would say I ate to about a #6, just a bit past hunger being satisfied.

So, that's how things went at this end:-) Now I'm officially another year older! I'm very thankful for the past year and all the ways the Lord has grown me. And I truly look forward to what He has in store for the upcoming year! For...

"He who began a good work in you (me) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6

I'm still HIS work in progress! I'm thankful for His faithfulness, patience and mercy despite all my setbacks and failings!

Thanks, Lord!

Reflections (Jan. 26)

I think I'm going to put my food & exercise blog on hold once again for awhile...at least for a time.

However one thing I thought I'd like to track here at "Rainbow Promises" in regards to my eating are observations/corrections noted, verses that speak to specific circumstances, struggles, victory steps, answered prayers, intentionally pre-planning for trials etc. These posts will be called "Reflections."

I have to say things feel quite out of whack and out of routine with regards to my eating lately. I know these times come and go and I just have to roll with it:-)

Here's a quick recap of the weekend...

Friday (as previously posted on my food/exercise blog):

A step in the right direction...

I was REALLY craving a hot chocolate or coffee drink mid afternoon, though I wasn't hungry... But I walked away while my water was heating up, prayed and kept asking myself if I was setting myself up for victory at this moment... And praise God, I made it through the test, and chose an herbal tea instead! Thanks Lord for showing me the way out! Amen.

O&C: At supper I thought I'd hit a comfortable #5....but then we went swimming right after supper and I have to admit my stomach was feeling a little heavy! I guess that was a signal that I need to slow down to make sure my body signals when I'm done, when hunger has been satisfied.

A step in the right direction...

I had been feeling a craving for ice cream after the pizza supper and mentioned it to my husband. But then I decided to just opt for some jolly rancher candies instead for dessert. Jon asked, on our way back from swimming, if I still had my craving (because he would go get ice cream any chance he got!)...and in all honesty I didn't feel ANY craving for ice cream or any food for that matter right now. That is huge for me! Usually, after something like this outing, I feel like something soothing. So, praise God for that!!!

Sunday (as posted on my food/exercise blog):

Observation: I went a little overboard once again with dessert at lunch. It pushed me over that comfy #5 unfortunately as I munched on more of it after my parents left our place after lunch.

Correction:

#1 Once again I need to re-evaluate how i handle desserts when I have company. I always desire to sit back and relax and fully enjoy the dessert once company leaves... I think the best way to not add a link in a chain towards a fall would be to REALLY eat a small amount and savour savour savour when company is present. Then take a moderate amount after company leaves and FULLY SAVOUR and apply all the conscious eating tips. If I followed that plan of action I'd feel like it was a victory. This would be as Jesus said to do in the face of temptation...WATCHING.

#2 Also, did I prepare for victory by praying and praising? I don't feel I was very intentional in this area. I was certainly enjoying the company of my parents. I was certainly hungry for lunch. And I certainly ate wholesome, whole body pleasers. But I wasn't quite prepared for temptation, ready to break any links of the chain that would lead to a fall. I DID let Satan have a foothold unfortunately, by not setting myself up for victory by intentionally by throwing myself at the Lord's feet in regards to my eating today. This would be doing as Jesus said to do in the face of temptation...PRAYING.

Later in the evening I experienced a step in the right direction...

I wasn't hungry, so instead of really digging into the food and going all out...I had a small amount. Not only that, but Jon brought down a small bowl of ice cream for me (the last of the carton which was bought on Saturday by the way)...and I actually said "no" which is truly a miracle in itself! That's a God thing! This was a victory step for me. Thanks, Lord!

And that brings me to...

Monday (today):

I'm struggling with waiting for hunger tonight. I had a big lunch and probably a bit too much sweets. I've resolved I'm going to go and spend some time in the Bible after posting this and find satisfaction there.

Lord, I choose to sit at your feet now and experience YOU and the way YOU want to meet the desires of my heart. Thank you, Lord! Amen.

Transparency

I'm posting this with some trepidation because I have gone on and off again with being a completely open book with regards to food and exercise. So so so often I fall short with maintaining godly boundaries and discipline with food and exercise. I have also gotten a bit caught up with concerns about what others may be thinking about my choices etc.

That being said, here are the three main purposes for my Daily Food & Exercise Log:

1. To help hold me accountable to myself and to the Lord. It helps me be more intentional and apply observation/correction more effectively.

2. To be transparent to others that they may also hold me to account and help gently (:-) sharpen me as they feel led by the Lord.

3. As I proceed prayerfully and intentionally, under the canopy of God's grace applying observation and correction along the way, my hope is that others can also learn a thing or two from my failings...make that "learnings"...and also from my victories.

So once again I am choosing to be an "open book." For how long, I'm not sure! As the Lord leads:-)

Learning Past Lessons

Over the past few days I have felt nudged to apply some of the past lessons learned.

1. "Thin Within" Keys to Conscious Eating.

The keys to conscious eating are a wonderful tool. I want to apply them more consistently once again. I am thankful for the provisions of the Lord. He certainly is a giver of good gifts (James 1:17; Matthew 7:11)

Here is a recap of the keys to conscious eating:

Keys to Conscious Eating
1. Eat when my body is hungry ("0").
2. Eat in a calm environment by reducing distractions.
3. Eat when sitting.
4. Eat when my body and mind are relaxed.
5. Eat and drink the things my body enjoys.
6. Pay attention to my food while eating.
7. Eat slowly, savoring each bite.
8. Stop before my body is full ("5").

I think each and every one of those points need some work.

2. Observe and Correct

The tool of observation and correction is particularily heavy on my mind and heart. I have moved far away from this intentional approach towards eating. Here's a quote I appreciated in my TW readings today...

Enjoy the privilege today of applying God's grace in the present moment. You don't need to wallow in any meausre of self-contempt. Observe what hasn't worked, agree with God, correct your behavior in the strength He gives you. Then move on down the path of God's provision as you experience the abundant life. TW pg 43

Too often I eat outside the 0-5 boundaries and don't even take the time to reflect on what went wrong and what I could do differently next time. Actually as I type this it reminds me that this is true in many areas of my life, not just eating.

I don't focus on confession enough.

I just think "I blew it" and often wallow in feelings of failure. Yet each of these "failures" in my life are teaching moments. I need to seek God, allow His light to shine on secret places of my heart (Psalm 90:8), confessing sin and accept His grace, forgiveness and empowering. Some of my favorite quotes that I have highlighted in the past are:

I am a learner not a failure.

Never consider a single defeat a final defeat. F. Scott Fitzgerald

I'm not a failure, but a work in progress. Sheila (TW pg95)

God is doing a good work in me and will bring it to completion in Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6) I am being transformed into His likeness (2 Corinthians 3:18).

3. Pre-plan for trials

I also feel convicted of the need to pre-plan for trials, to be more intentional with each and every choice I make (not just with eating, but also in every other area of my life). I have strayed far from this once again.

I am reminded to be self-controlled and alert for the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8).

Oftentimes I approach eating without much forethought...and then I fall into some sticky situations where I struggle to make the right choices. By doing some pre-planning I know that I can set myself up for better choices. I am more likely to see the way out of temptation that God has provided if I have a more "intentional" mindset (1 Corinthians 10:13).

4. Feast at the Lord's table

Most importantly I am continuing to feast at the Lord's table. He prepares a table before me (Psalm 23:5). I NEED to fill up on Him, get fat on Jesus:-)

5. Gratitude

I long for my attitude to be saturated with praise and thankfulness and gratitude to the Lord in each and every circumstance (1 Thessalonians 5:18). I am using my counting my blessings blog to record things I'm thankful for. And the awesome thing about gratitude is that as I focus on gratitude the focus begins to shift away from self and onto God and onto others! It's not all about me ;-)


So, there you have it, these are some goals I'm re-committing to. Sadly I have learned and applied each and every one of these points months ago but then many of them got put in the corner and ignored for the most part. Time to wake up and enjoy the abundant life that God has prepared for those those who follow Him!

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14