Building on the truth. How often do I allow lies or outright rebellion be the foundation of my thinking? More often than I would like to recount I fear! This chapter reminds us that beliefs move to actions which reap results. Therefore it is key to make sure the beliefs are grounded in truth. It's a chain reation!
I was encouraged by these verses:
Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27 For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:13
Too often I get sidetracked by trying to do this all on my own...and I know far too well how that works! I usually derail all the good intentions I feel called to. I fail. I slip. I slide. I need to remember that it is GOD who is at work...not Christina! His all-surpassing power in this jar of clay!
The other thing that stood out for me with this chapter were the following points:
Be informed. Be willing. Be faithful. TW pg 143-144
I'm feeling challenged to "be informed." I have been thinking how I want to put less "junk" into my body. I want to use more discernment in this area, particularily with sugary treats. That is probably my biggest weakness with eating...big surprise! :-)
I'm also feeling challenged to "be willing" and "be faithful"...in other words be more fully surrendered to the Lord. I don't want to hold back. I want to allow Him to lead and direct me. I want my life to be a living sacrifice to Him...because I know that I can trust Him and I know that He loves me more than I can even trust or love myself!
Here is some good advice which I really should apply:
The next time you face the pantry, refrigerator, or cookie jar, and you're really not hungry, ask yourself what you believe about your quest to become a vibrant, healthy temple of God.
Ask yourself (and the Lord) what actions would follow if you were to believe what God's Word of truth says about you? God has promised to empower you so that your actions reap results that give glory to Him and an abiding joy within. TW pg148
Now I just have to move to the application stage with all these thoughts!
The last chapter dealt with furnishing my mind. This chapter continues digging a bit deeper into this concept. As I have good intentions to furnish my mind with only that which is pleasing to the Lord, I often continue slipping and sliding around... And the key is:
Observe and correcct the things that stand in the way of reaching your godly goals... If you find you are flesh-controlled, stop and ask God to fill all your empty places with Himself. TW pg136
God will provide a way out of temptation (2 Corinthians 10:13)... He promises an exit plan is available.
2 Corinthians 10:5, capturing every thought for Christ, becomes particularily compelling at this point. Each present moment counts. Practising His presence becomes all that more important as I will be more discerning of His good and perfect will when I am in step with Him.
I appreciated Heidi's marble jar video so much and thought it fit so well with this chapter...and I really want to keep this video on record for myself. It is an inspiring look at capturing each present moment.
I think I'm going to try the physical use of a marble jar or even a graph (color in a square for each victory step) for my travels.
Continuing on, this chapter also introduces the concept of a naturally thin person.
Think of a naturally thin person, someone who is not governed by rules or laws regarding food and eating. TW pg135
The person that comes to my mind is such an inspiration in this regard. I love how she doesn't care about calorie counting, fat grams, carbs etc. etc. She simply aims to eat a healthy well rounded diet in moderation. She eats slowly, enjoys and savours her food, puts her fork down and states she is "full" often way before me, and has a take it or leave it attitude towards dessert, depending on if she has room still for dessert. Even her dessert she eats in moderation. I cannot even IMAGINE her binging on food! That seems unfathomable for me! But I truly believe this is just not an area she struggles with. She has candy and chocolate lying out in full view all over her house. Her halloween candy stash lasts past a year and has to be thrown out! She actually FORGETS about the candy and chocolate and sweet treats on her counter! I cannot IMAGINE that either! I am thankful for this glimpse of freedom and balance. Will I ever be in that spot? Probably not to the degree she is...yet I pray I will move more and more in that direction.
So, once again, I am reminded to practice His presence. To be present. To capture the present moment. Because of His grace. Because of His love. Because of His compassion. By His enabling and empowering.
I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them. Hosea 11:4
Lord, I look up and open wide my mouth. Feed me. I love you. Amen.
Once again the title is grabbing my attention. "Furnishing" brings many images to mind. I'm NOT inclined towards interior decorating in the least! Though I do like to make sure our home is adequately furnished with comfortable furniture, dishes, pictures on the walls, plants etc.
Last chapter was about demolishing and removing the rubble. This chapter is about moving in, having a fresh start. What kinds of things am I going to allow to line the walls of my mind? What fills my every waking thought?
And when the term "practising the presence of God" was mentioned on pg 123 it came together and clicked for me. I am being reminded to once again take each and every moment in step with the Lord, present in His Presence.
This chapter introduced Larry the Legalist, Maureen the Manipulator and Abigail the Achiever. I think I have a tendency to be any one of those at any moment in time. Though I think I most relate to Larry as I often get sidetracked onto this path of legalism that makes me feel like I am in control...and then WHAM! I find out I am definitely NOT in control!!!! My fleshly desires and urges are VERY strong and alive and active and kicking just as described in Galatians 5:17!
For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. Galatians 5:17
I appreciated these words, paraphrased from various scripture verses:
"In Christ," I am inspired by His Spirit... "In Christ," I am equipped for whatever He calls me to do... "In Christ..." I am free, no longer a slave to sin. TW pg122
Inspired. Equipped. Free.
That is the path I want to be on. The path of God's provision under the canopy of His grace.
Today I have been focussing on practising His presence. I have been aiming to take every inclination and thought captive to Him, desiring to be "free to hear the voice of the Spirit leading and directing me." (TW pg123)
I have often spoken about this concept with others when explaining TW to them...but often forget to apply and ask the Lord "What should I eat for lunch today? What is pleasing in Your sight? When should I stop Lord?" I usually remember to have a grateful heart at mealtimes and use the opportunities to praise and thank Him for the food before me, though this is harder at family mealtimes... But to actually apply discernment to my eating choices according to His Spirit's leading is something I have not been practising very effectively or frequently.
Thank You Lord that You are able and willing to make all grace abound to Your children, so that in all things at all times, having all that we need, we will abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8)
Rubble is defined as "broken bits and pieces of anything, as that which is demolished."
Has gluttony and greed been demolished, destroyed, ruined, torn down, laid to waste yet? I guess I feel like God has given me a measure of victory in this battle... But I feel a bit like the Israelites at times, clinging to some of the idols, stealing some of the forbidden plunder...not allowing the ruin to be complete. Sometimes I even wonder if I have some walls still standing.
Regardless, God desires the rubble to be removed. I know He wants me to be whole and healed and free in Him. That is the point of this chapter.
Here is probably the largest piece of rubble that I see lingering in the ruins...
This is my body, and I can do with it as I please. TW pg110
Ah, flat out rebellion! A good old temper tantrum! A self-focussed, pleasure-seeking attitude.
Not only are you a temple, a santuary in which God has chosen to dwell, but you are set apart by Him and for Him. You are His! TW pg111
If I could *really* connect with the above truth, I know I would experience a new level of freedom in Christ.
Set apart. His temple. What a privilege and honor and joy. I am humbled and excited and nervous all at once!
This ol' jar of clay?! You sure, Lord? Wow! You really do love me!
His provision... He empowers... We can live in peace... TW pg112
Peace. This is what I am seeking at this point in my TW journey. I want to be present in His Presence and experience His peace.
Here is some more rubble that the chapter highlighted which I could well relate to...
Lie:The joy I get from eating is worth any suffering that happens as a result.
Far too often this is the kind of thinking I have. I know in my heart that I will regret it later...but I go ahead anyways and eat outside the 0-5 boundaries or eat what I know is not what God is directing me towards.
Truth:Rejoice in the Lord always. Phil. 4:4
True joy only comes from the Lord. I need to remember this. There are no regrets when I feed on Living Water and the Bread of Life.
Lie:I will worry about getting control of my eating when things aren't so crazy or hectic.
Hmm... Sounds like a classic line that I use just about every chance I get. There will ALWAYS be an excuse! Honestly! I believe I could make up one for just about every day of the year! Anyways, the one I'm dealing with right now is summer travels. I know things are going to be out of whack, particularily when we head to Mexico (same place as last year) and are living according to the schedule of our host family for 2 weeks...and then of course when we are enjoying the family vacation portion and being tempted to do the "tourist nibbling" thing. So I could easily pull out this excuse and stop being intentional... But... I know this is not a renewing of my mind with truth.
Truth:Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:13-15
The truth of the matter is that since I can always make up an excuse, no excuse is a good excuse! I must live intentionally in step with the Lord, in the Presence of the Lord, in the PRESENT....not just in the future! NOW is the time! The Kingdom of God, the reign of God, is NOW for His child.
And the thing I appreciate most about God is that He is gracious...and He is not leaving me unequipped... Rather, His word says (as paraphrased TW pg114) You have been given everything you need for life and godliness by His very great and precious promises (2 Peter 1:3).
Here's a quote I love and bears repeating...
You can say, "I can't," as long as in the next breath you say, "But, God, You can." (as quoted by Kay Arthur in TW on pg114)
The prayer on pg115 is my prayer today:
Please break me where I am proud and strengthen me where I am weak so I can surrender fully to You and to the power of Your transforming grace.
This chapter was EXACTLY what I needed, right after writing my last post. I have been feeling like victory is so fleeting. I have been feeling tired out from the battle...from losing so many battles.
To know that this PRESENT moment counts is awesome. Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. (Phil 3:12) That resonates.
On page 94 the question is asked, "Have you been...beating yourself up for your lack of success?"
And my answer is a resounding "YES!" I feel like I have the knowledge of how to experience God's victory in this area, but feel unable to make real lasting progress. However I guess I need to re-examine what progress is. In Sheila's words in TW (pg95) she says, "I'm not a failure, but a work in progress." This has been my motto...which I guess I need reminding of once again. My life, as long as I am alive on this earth, will ALWAYS be a work in progress!
Here are a few quotes that stuck out to me...
Through his eyes, perceived failures become opportunities. TW pg 95
Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. (Denis Waitley) TW pg 95
Failure is not something we are. Failure is something we do. TW pg 96
We are God's saints by calling, who fail. TW pg 98
He knows we will fail even before we do, but it is not His will that we fail without benefiting or maturing in some way from the experience. TW pg 99
You must not try harder; you must strive less. You must acknowledge your helplessness and total dependence upon the Spirit for your guidance, your area of service, and your ability to love. You are created for good works, but they must flow out of your abiding communion with the Living vine. God's grace is more than a pardon; it is a constant, ever-flowing provision, a reassuring presence and an incredible power. TW pg 99
Each of these quotes cut right to my heart and lifted my spirits and encouraged me to continue pressing on, forgetting what was behind...though of course not forgetting the lessons learned.
I realize the importance of not allowing these failures to be wasted. Each of these moments of failure are learning opportunities disguised as failures. If I ignore the opportunity to actually grow and learn from them, my growth will be slow going, as I have to keep on learning the same lesson over and over again. If I focus on the renewing of my mind, by God's truth and grace each step of the way, then I will begin to be transformed for His glory. So I press on:-)
The real question is not whether you are going to fail, but rather how you will respond when you do. TW pg 100
In closing, here is a song that came to mind as I began this post.
HISTORY by Matthew West (To listen to the song click here...no clue what the youtube video is about so you can ignore that and just read the lyrics below as you listen. The song starts at :30 and ends at 4:30)
Its been a bad day, you've been looking back And all you can see is everything you wish you could take back All your mistakes, a world of regrets All of those moments you would rather forget I know it's hard to believe Let me refresh your memory
Chorus: Yesterday is history And history is miles away So leave it all behind you Let it always remind you of the day The day that love made history
You know you can't stay right where you fell The hardest part is forgiving yourself But let's take a walk into today And don't let your past get in the way
Repeat chorus
Yeah Yeah
Would you believe that you are history In the making, in the making Every choice that you are making Every step that you are taking Every chain that you are breaking History is in the making Every word that you are saying Every prayer that you are praying Every chain that you are breaking History is in the making History is in the making History is in the making
Repeat chorus
Yeah yeah Oh history is in the making
Every word that you are saying Every prayer that you are praying Every chain that you are breaking History is in the making History is in the making History is in the making
Day Nine ~ Overcoming Obstacles to Restoration: Part 2
Here are a few quotes that stood out to me...
His presence always accompanies us and His power is available to implement whatever He calls us to do. TW pg 85
How encouraging! Thank you, Lord.
He uses even this personal battle you are experiencing and He will redeem it for His glory. TW pg 88
This is awesome!
Joni Eareckson Tada wrote (as quoted in TW on pg88):
God uses suffering to purge sin from our lives, strengthen our committment to Him, force us to depend on grace, bind us together with other believers, produce discernment, foster sensitivity, discipline our minds, spend our time wisely, stretch our hope, cause us to know Christ better, make us long for truth, lead us to repentance of sin, teach us to give thanks in times of sorrow, increase faith, and strengthen character.
This quote has struck a chord with me each and every time I read it. As I re-read it, I broke it down.
God uses suffering to purge sin from our lives So true. This journey has definitely pushed me to examine my heart more closely.
...strengthen our committment to Him I agree.
...force us to depend on grace yes
...bind us together with other believers Can't say "yes" enough to that! This journey has certainly drawn me into deeper relationship with other sisters in Christ, both near and far.
...produce discernment yes
...foster sensitivity yes
...discipline our minds Absolutely. This has been a huge area of transformation that God has worked in my life.
...spend our time wisely I need to work on this one. TW day 8 post reminded me of ways I can spend my time even more wisely by serving others in moments of temptation.
...stretch our hope Yes, yes, yes! And teaching me to PERSEVERE in hoping!
...cause us to know Christ better Praise God for this gift. What a privilege and joy it has been to get to know Him more deeply over the past two years.
...lead us to repentance of sin I agree.
...teach us to give thanks in times of sorrow. I want to foster this more in my life, in both good times and bad.
...increase faith Absolutely.
...and strengthen character I believe so.
Praise God for using this journey, this personal battle, and redeeming it for His glory! My heart is filled with joy! I need to remember this and be thankful in those moments when I fall prey to more vain thoughts. Every single one of those descriptions was an internal change...POWERFUL transformations that God has worked. External change can be a wonderful blessing...but internal change is the biggest gift of all.
Day Eight ~ Overcoming obstacles to Restoration: Part 1
It's been awhile since I posted. I actually have had an on-track 0-5 week, which is wonderful, praise God! Though I have to admit I'm still struggling through the freedom from the scale issue.
Okay, moving on... As I thought about taking every thought captive, here are a few beliefs about food that came to mind: * I need sugary treats each day to feel better. Nothing else will hit the spot. * Just this one time (overindulging or eating outside 0-5). * I am doing myself a favor eating up the treat so it won't tempt me later. I'd be back for more later anyways.
Creative options in moments of temptation: * call a friend, ask God who I can minister to even with a phone call * write an encouragement note or email to someone every time I feel tempted * read a book * have a bath...put out candles and all to add to the distraction! * put on some music...and maybe even dance to it
As I type this up I'm hit with the realization that an effective way out of temptation is focussing on serving the LORD and OTHERS, rather than serve MYSELF in those moments. I'm looking forward to applying this thought.
Preplanning for trials: I have so much appreciated this concept, the intentional nature of everything, not being blown around by every whim and desire. I try to do this a lot, calling it "setting myself up for victory." I don't want to give the devil a foothold. In TLT the concept of links of a chain was described and how we need to make sure we destroy the links that lead to sin. (or something along those lines! I'm just remembering off the top of my head:-)
Wise choices: These words on page 81 hit me like a ton of bricks. I need to make wise choices more frequently. Something for me to think about more.
Okay, that's the summary of what hit me for this chapter. Onto the next chapter:-)
The person on the path of God's provision, as we have seen, may experience a "two steps forward and one back" movement, but the direction is set. TW pg 64
Oh boy can I relate to that!!! My journey to surrender my body to the Lord has certainly been this kind of momentum...and, praise God, in the past year has also been with a set direction. To finally be persevering through the "one step back moments" is a huge victory that I can only attribute to God's grace and empowering.
The two words that kept on going through my head over and over again after I finished reading this chapter were "GLORIOUS RUINS"(as quoted by A.W. Tozer). I know that sin has such a destructive effect in my life, overeating being just one of many that I struggle with, but thinking of myself, a child of God, as "glorious ruins" is awesome! God loves me. He has made me in His image. He wants me to be transformed into His image more and more, to glorify Him. So, I give Him the ruins of my life... I want to continue ruminating on this thought.
This chapter began to push the reader to examine WHY the ruins exist...bringing us back to the concept of fat machinery. The ones I've been dealing with lately are:
Conditioned/Habitual response:
* wanting to munch on popcorn when I settle down to watch TV (especially on weekends)
* nibbling on food at the counter as I prepare the dinner meal for the family
* dinner time and weekends are definitely my most challenging times to stay on course with 0-5 as I desire to eat with the family and meals are often a little more "hearty"...plus I tend to eat more sweets at these times.
Beliefs: * a rebellious attitude that says "I want it" despite the known consequences
* "I need sugar" to feel better/to finish off the meal etc.
Failures:
* apathy sets in at times and I eat because I feel like my efforts are not reaping the rewards I desire, so "why try?"
Each of these reasons [we choose to eat when we aren't hungry], if allowed to go unchallenged, acts as a termite-infested cedar beam in God's temple. TW pg 70
I think the next two chapters begin to set the course for renewing of the mind with truth and taking each of these triggers captive to Christ. It was a good exercise to take a fresh look at what fat machinery has taken root in my life in recent months. It is time for me to respond rather than react.
I appreciated the scripture highlighted at the close of this chapter. It gives me much hope as I know that on my own, in my own strength, I have failed and will continue to fail time and time again. But God's not leaving me helpless and unequipped for this journey, in this struggle to surrender all to Him.
"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." 2 Peter 1:3
You are an expression of His glory, created in His image to know Him personally and to make Him known. (TW pg 57)
This chapter began to introduce the concept of "fat machinery".
Anything that pushes us toward eating when we aren't hungry, when we're not yet at that empty 0 runs counter to our godly goals. (TW pg 57)
Four categories were unpacked: conditioned or habitual responses, beliefs, past stories and failures.
An easy way for me to view fat machinery is to think of it as triggers. I'll unpack them a little more in the next chapter post.
In the meantime another thing that stood out to me was the portion or the chapter in regards to the scale. I feel bad because this past week I slid back to using the scale. I was hoping I had finally moved to a phase of the journey where I no longer needed or felt compelled to use it.
Last week's weigh-in was a bit of a roller coaster ride for me. I felt like I'd been so consistent and was in such a good place with TW and my body and with the Lord. To see 159lbs looking back at me on the scale was discouraging. I felt like my "obedience" was not being reflected on the scale. Anyways, I did not slide into a deep pit of muck and mire like I have at other times on my journey...but it did throw me for a spin. It certainly pushed me to make some observations about why I am this weight. I now feel it was a needed reality check.
I still don't exactly know what role I want the scale to play in my journey. Maybe I need these reality checks every now and then.... The following quote from this chapter spoke to this approach to the scale...
We often think things are better or worse than they actually are, so prayerfully using the scales as a reality check from time to time is OK. TW pg 59
I like the concept of the scale being my "reality check" not my "club of condemnation" (or excuse for "permission to celebrate with food").
Once again I feel God's peace and perspective flooding my soul. I want to continue letting this journey flow as it flows, without forcing it into a specific box or form.
Day Five ~ My Body, Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
His choice to love us. God's boundless, unconditional love. He treasures us. His profound love. He waits for us. His precious children. Allow the love of God to fall afresh on you. TW day5
These are all statements that jumped out of the pages at me for this reading. God loves me and you....REALLY loves us. His lavish love is being pressed closer to the heart in this chapter.
I find the timing of reading this chapter quite interesting because just a few days ago I had a conversation with a close friend on this very topic...weight related issues, the sin of gluttony and the "fearfully and wonderfully made" scripture truth. Our conversation forced me to press a little closer to the heart of this matter and dig a little deeper.
So, here was the big question we discussed.
Can you be overweight, clearly struggling with the sin of gluttony, and be able to cling to the the truth "fearfully and wonderfully made"?
My immediate instinct was "OF COURSE!" My friend questioned my response as she felt the sin issue was then being ignored. It was good to be pushed a little deeper. She had authentic concerns which I appreciated discussing in depth. And my answer continues to be a resounding, "Of course!"
And the dots began to connect, all coming together and beginning to make more sense, with the reading of this chapter...
But we have this treasure [the presence of God]in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7
"The beauty and value of the vessel is found in what it contains." TW pg48
Wow! Isn't that an amazing statement, particularily to us as believers?! I have always heard the cliche, "It's what is inside that counts" or "Beauty comes from the inside." And I have always held to that and believed that...and still do. The above verse and statement drove that all home to an even deeper level for us as believers because God dwells INSIDE US!
Moving onto externals... The "mirror mirror exercise" highlighted and beautifully unfolded the intricate detail of our body and the function, blessings and beauty of each part. Though it may be difficult to look ourselves in the mirror....REALLY look at ourselves....it was a beautiful reminder of the fact that our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made and certainly have had a clear function in day to day living and loving. Yes, for some of us the sin of gluttony may be showing its wear and tear on our body (and just for the record, I've been many different sizes and shapes at 5'6" - 115lbs, 150 lbs, 160lbs, 175lbs, 205lbs, so I can personally attest to wear and tear I've experienced in my own skin)...but that doesn't discount the fact that we are still fearfully and wonderfully made.
I was reminded again that we cannot hate ourselves into change. If I cannot even look at my body, and feel a sense of contempt for my body, I am missing out on seeing the beauty and fingerprints in God's creation...me. So often we just focus on external criteria for beauty - slim hips, shapely legs, small butt, pert nose, full lips, flat stomach, no stretch marks etc. etc. etc. How many of us actually fill that criteria?! Seriously! (I know I never have!!!) This brings to mind this classic Dove commercial...
The point is that not even the "models" of beauty fill every criteria that our society has for external beauty. I think it is awesome to go deeper and push past all those external marks of beauty and find the beauty that we each have as unique individuals, both externally and internally. We're not barbie clones!!!! God has made each of us beautiful in our own unique way! We all come in different shapes and sizes, with different limitations and gifts, with different kinds of beauty.
"Fingerprints of God" by Steven Curtis Chapman
But the most beautiful thing of all is a heart that is surrendered to God and is reflecting the contents [God's presence] of their vessel, their jar of clay! I seriously believe that! When I see a person who LOVES God it shines through and radiates and it's impossible not to see the beauty that comes from a woman who fears the Lord. As I think about many friends I have here on the internet I don't even know what they look like externally! What a privilege though to be able to see people's hearts!!!! And how BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL so many of you are!!!! I can hardly contain my excitement when I see this beauty. It's reflecting. It's shining through.
That's how I think God looks at each of us. This is the kind of beauty the Lord loves and treasures! Christ in us. A beautiful, contrite, God-focused spirit. As we keep our focus on God, as we are doing with TW here, the external appearance of our bodies will naturally adjust to where God intends for us to settle. I truly believe that.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30
So, after this very long winded post, I continue sticking to my resounding "Of course" we are fearfully and wonderfully made, no matter what size or shape we come in. And in my books I have to say my standard definition for beauty is not based on the externals but really and truly on the heart of each person. I could go through a list of internal beauty marks which radiate - kindess, humility, goodness, gentleness, patience, love, generosity, curiousity, faithfulness etc. etc...but really the most shining characteristic of the most beautiful people is a heart surrendered to the Lord. What beauty is reflected! Because JESUS IS RELFECTED!
As I dwell on this definition for beauty I can't help but feel free to be loved by God into all that He intends to me...rather than condemned and hating myself into changing (which we know doesn't really work very well at all!).
Moment by moment, step by step, in the present...choices, choices, choices to be made.
CHOICE: Beat myself up for my failures. Step into the prison of paralyzed fear, condemnation, despair. Listen to the lies of Satan. And stay in this cycle....forever.
or
CHOICE: Allow myself to be loved by God. Allow myself to believe God and what His word says. Listen to the Holy Spirit's nudgings and conviction and teaching. Learn from my mistakes. Allow truth to line the walls of my mind. Change. Be transformed. Be saturated in God's grace and love. Be equiped and empowered to change from within by the renewing of my mind, taking thoughts captive to Christ...and move to victory step by step by step by step.
Observation (dispassionate as Heidi emphasizes) and correction are such important tools to consider and apply on this journey. Here is one I need to apply tonight...
Situation: Tonight, as I was eating supper, I had drank a big glass of water, had some salad and munched on a bit of fruit and was moving to what I was most looking forward to...a slice of homemade pizza...and a very subtle (almost imperceptible) little air bubble burp - ladylike of course:-) - escaped.
Observation: I could sense that I was getting near #5. But in all honesty I DID NOT WANT TO STOP. (I knew that in the past this little air bubble escape meant I should stop. And I would actually stop right then, no more bites. I was done.) But I have no longer been paying attention to this cue and certainly didn't want to listen to this cue as I bit into the slice of pizza...and so I kept going. I know I'm pushing my #5 hunger #'s. I am feeling greedy at suppertime, trying to squeeze as much food in as possible. And my #5's should probably be closer to #6 or #7 a lot of the time.
Correction: Slow down so I can enjoy and savour every bite fully. Be very very aware of my body's cues as I near satisfaction. Next meal STOP before or when I get that air bubble escape. NOT ONE BITE PAST! For the times when I feel satisfied before the air bubble escape, try practising by leaving a couple bites on my plate/bowl, offering them to the Lord (not just for the sake of doing it!) as a sacrifice of worship to Him, reflecting on my surrender to Him, on being mastered by Him alone.
Okay, that was pretty long winded, more than usual for my O&C's... But you know what, I needed to do that tonight! This is a big stepping stone for me....getting past fudging the numbers...
Love, love, love the phrase "On the path of God's provision under the canopy of His grace..." TW pg 39
It is so true. God DOES provide. He equips. He empowers. He transforms. I am so thankful for His word, for sisters in Christ who come alongside for the journey, for the strength He gives for each day, for His love that He pours out and makes known to me each day, for the nudgings of the Holy Spirit, for answers to prayer, for caring about the smallest details of my life... I could go on and on.
I want to stay on the path of His provision under the canopy of His grace.
Here's a favorite verse I choose to cling to.
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8
I'm quite a goal oriented person. I like my lists. I like to make a perfect copy...of the good copy...of the rough draft of a list!!! LOL It's in my nature! This chapter has typically resonated with me as I would decide on what a good # I'd like to see on the scale at a certain point in time etc. It was the kind of motivation I needed. I still have felt God impress on me some clear goals and objectives as I posted about here.
But I feel like I'm at a bit of a different place right now than I was a year ago, with a bit less focus on the externals like weight and exercise etc. My focus has gradually shifted more to the internals, to the shape of my heart. I'm excited about this change that is taking shape. It's all part of the journey I guess! I look forward to greater surrender and intimacy with the Lord. I look forward to more of Him and less of me...
One thing I found quite interesting to note was that my vision statement has changed over the past year. Originally my vision statement was:
My life's purpose is to shine for Jesus, glorify God, evangelize the lost and equip the saints.(Some of our church's vision statement resonated so deeply with me that it became my own personal vision statement)
Here's my updated one, that the Lord has been impressing on me the past number of months...
My life's purpose is to love God more each day and extend His love to others...for His glory. I desire to be the aroma of Christ in this world.
Okay, I know I'm not that eloquent, but it pretty much sums up what I've been journeying through and towards lately.
So, with this vision statement in mind, I guess my primary goal is to find satisfaction in Him alone....not in food, leisure time, online time, family, friendships, material stuff... Him alone. All else fades in comparison to knowing and loving...and being loved by...Him....and passing it on to others so they can get to know and love and be loved by Him!
I love the verse that was highlighted in this chapter:
"The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives." (Psalm 37:23, NLT)
As I settle in, ready to type up my thoughts on this reading, I am being drawn to the title of this chapter. As I focus on it after reading the chapter, everything I read is beginning to gel together.
Here are a few quotes that I want to highlight:
God is love. (1 John 4:8) His is an active love... He was inspired to initiate relationships with human beings from the beginning of creation because it is in His character to love... Our God is also amazingly creative... TW pg 18
[God] wants to be your constant companion on your journey to healing and wholeness. TW pg 21
By eating from 0 to 5, you will be on the path to the natural size He designed you to be. TW pg 24
I find that last quote, about the natural size, quite compelling. It's something I wrestle with. As I lay aside the man-made scale in favor of applying observation and correction under the canopy of God's grace....I am reminded to accept and love the way God has made me, just the way I am. Some days it is harder than others. Today I'm feeling a little "blobby".... As I think about swim suit weather around the corner, I have to confess I have my own "self-focussed" concerns about how my body looks...
However, there is no way I want to get off this path! I love the more "organic," natural, gracious flow of using the 0-5 scale rather than the bathroom scale. It resonates with me. I feel myself relaxing into God's will and leading. I trust Him. And I feel loved by Him.
The verse at the beginning of this chapter jumps out at me as I envision this journey being a lifelong trek, a marathon not a sprint...
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4
God's love and provisions really are mind boggling, aren't they?! I'm thankful that He is my constant companion on this journey, for He really is the only One who can sustain and carry me to the end.
"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
He's the One who loves me and brings me to the finish line! Thanks, Lord.
LAVISH love. Gotta love that description! And so many amazing verses! Some of my favorites:
The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with lovingkindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt... you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful. Jeremiah 31:3-4
Aren't those beautiful verses of God's LAVISH love?! A few statements that popped out for me on the first page of the chapter were
"lover of your soul...His unfathomable love for you...this love is not based on your performance...God is crazy about you...God loves you exactly the way you are."
Wow! Those ones hit me strongly this time round! Thanks Lord for your love.
Next, on page 4, the other statement that stuck out for me was:
"Thin Within is not a diet plan. It is a way of life.... It is a process that requires time and commitment. However, it is also full of enriching self-discovery." TW pg4
I have been pondering this a lot more lately. I realize that it doesn't matter what plan you choose to follow (to lose weight) you have to be able to stick with the plan FOR THE REST OF YOU LIFE. And this is what I LOVE about TW! It is certainly a plan I can stick with for the rest of my life! Eat when I am hungry. Stop when I am satisfied. Ask for God's guidance in the whole process. Find satisfaction for the soul. Abide with the Lord. Learn to make gratitude the very fabric of my life. This is the kind of plan that I WANT to stick with for the rest of my life!!!
I filled out the questionaire on "My Current Relationship with Food" (pg6). It highlighted for me how I so easily fall into the rut of almost ignoring the food and shovelling it in without savouring and forgetting to have a thankful heart. It's not like this always. But I certainly find it harder to slow down, savor...and find the rhythm needed to connect with the family over dinner, connect with the Lord as I eat and also connect with my body's signals. Whew, that's quite a list!
Here is a run down of the keys to conscious eating that are presented on pg 8-10. In the past two months I was posting them one by one as a weekly challenge. I already went a bit more in-depth with each of the following posts if anyone cares to read my thoughts on each individual key.
I am so thankful for Heidi and her leadership with this new study of "Thin Within". I appreciate her authenticity, transparency and willingness to be vulnerable. She is always such an encouragement and an inspiration.
So I got started on my reading of the book today. I haven't read it for many many months so it feels good to dig back in. I put my walking shoes on and here's where I'm treking....
About the Authors What stood out for me, as I read this section, was the love and grace of God that is presented to the reader. God has been speaking to my heart on this very topic over the past few months, so this section was a fresh reminder for me. I really appreciated this statement:
His desire is to meet you and overwhelm you with His love poured forth, equipping you to live a life that is pleasing to Him. TW xii
Introduction The first thing that stood out for me was definitely
"Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." Isaiah 55:2
Wow, talk about soul satisfaction! And then the statement on that same page "plunge deeper." I love that image! I'm ready to plunge deeper, to find true soul satisfaction in the Lord!
Another thing that stood out to me was the emphasis on there being no self-condemnation in relation to observation and correction. I am feeling challenged to be REALLY honest with myself as of today, with my hunger #'s, with my body's signals. There is no point to hitting myself over the head with the club of condemnation when I stepped outside the 0-5 boundaries. There is no point to fudging the numbers. In doing so I only miss out on a learning opportunity that the Lord has for me. So I committ to being honest with myself and the Lord.
I still feel I have some chains that bind me, so the prayer on page xv echoed my heart's cry, "Open my eyes and release me from the chains that bind me."
Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion. Psalm 84:5-7
"As we pass through valleys, deserts, and forests, our God will be our strength and our guide." TW pg xx
Valleys
Deserts
Forests
I know that even over the past year I have experienced each of these places time and time again...but God has been my strength and my guide. And I look forward to continuing the journey, walking in step with His Spirit.
So......my walking shoes are on. I'm ready to plunge deeper!
I'm excited because a couple friends from church are interested in joining me for the journey through Thin Within this time round! Woohoo! I haven't had any in-person TW journey companions as of yet, so this is a big encouragement for me! Praise God!
As I prepare to once again dive into the "Thin Within" book and join Heidi and many others on the journey, here are some questions that Heidi presented today:
What DO you want? What ARE you willing to do to get it? How willing are you to experience a process that looks very different from what you expect...? Even if it is ugly? :-)
What do I want?
What I want this time round from a physical standpoint...is to relax into the rhythm of my body's natural God-given cues and signals. I just want to go with the flow and for this way of approaching my health to become second nature.
I also plan on staying away from the scale (with the exception of possibly the doctor's office mid June). I hope to keep the focus away from the number on the scale and more on this becoming my way of life, through all the ups and downs. I don't want my success or failure measured by a number on a scale. I want to move more and more (as I already have been for the past year) toward stepping back and simply observing and correcting, and lining the walls of my mind with truth which I pray spurs me on to action.
My approach has been quite impacted by "The Lord's Table" study. So, in combination with TW and TLT (and throw in a little `Freedom from Emotional Eating`and `Breaking Free`) I would say my main goals and objectives, which I hope to have cemented further as I study TW this time round are:
#1. Soul Satisfaction
I want the Lord to be my satisfaction, to fill all the empty places of my heart and life, to draw close to Him, to be intimate with Him, to abide with Him, to be changed by Him, to be transformed more and more into His image.
#2. Transformed by the renewing of my mind. I desire for truth to line the walls of my mind. I desire to take my thoughts captive and make obedient to Christ.
#3. 0-5 Eating
I hope for conscious eating to become more ingrained in me as I study TW once again. I desire for it to flow naturally and become second nature. And I intend on these boundaries being my primary measure of `success`or being `on track`rather then the man-made scale.
#4. Physical Exercise I also desire to keep my body moving. No big expectations. But simply a few times a week getting some intentional movement in....20 minutes 3-4x a week is usually my aim.
What am I willing to do to get it?
I know God has already been working in my heart and life in this area for the past few months. I put away the scale at the end of April and feel that I finally have moved to a new phase of my journey where the scale can be retired. Praise God! I've been yo-yoing back and forth with this one for nearly a year!
I am committed to reading the TW book in sync with the blogger community "group."
I am firmly committed to accountability (specifically in regards to those four points up above). I will be accountable primarily to a smaller group forum that I'm part of where I post a daily check in. This blog will also serve (as it has in the past) as a form of accountability for me.
How willing are you to experience a process that looks very different from what you expect...? Even if it is ugly? :-)
I'm definitely willing and ready! Lord, change me! Please!
Specifically...HOW? Well I guess I mainly feel I will just hang on and abide with the Lord! I know there will be plenty of ups and downs with this journey but I intend to continue hanging on for the ride! I believe "perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:4) And I continue to hold tightly to the God's rainbow promises to me:
"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil. 1:6
Ultimately I think what may be the most important question may be WHAT DOES GOD WANT? And I believe the answer is that He wants my heart, all of my heart. I posted Beth Moore`s hairbrush story awhile back and was just re-reading it today and here is a quote that stuck out to me:
Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting,'Wow! What a ride! Thank You, Lord!'
What an image! And what an adventure this journey continues to be! So many ups and downs and in-betweens. My one desire is for there to be more of Him in my life and less of me. May He increase and I decrease. Amen.
My name is Christina. Welcome to my blog! Much of this blog reflects my journey living out the principles outlined in the "Thin Within" book, as my desire is to be spiritually, emotionally and physically healthy! As this journey has unfolded I have seen how important it is to surrender each and every part of my life to the Lord. I have been utterly blown away by His lavish love and amazing grace poured out in my life...no matter how many times I slip and fall. My prayer continues to be...
Rubble is defined as "broken bits and pieces of anything, as that which is demolished."
The two words that kept on going through my head over and over again after I finished reading this chapter were 
