Challenge #9 ~ The First Meal of the Rest of Your Life

I think this exercise (as outlined on pg 154-155 of Thin Within) provides a great opportunity to put the eight keys of conscious eating into practice. My challenge this week will be to apply this exercise. Anyone else care to join this week's challenge? Keep me posted if you do!

First of all before you even start, try to set up the right environment (maybe china, music, flowers, special lighting, a favorite spot etc.), making sure it is a calm environment and reducing distractions. The book recommends that "it is best to eat this meal with the Lord as you only companion, although you may have someone with you if that person toally supports your desire to be conscious of your food and the Lord." Remember, "the main purpose of this experience is to taste and see that Lord is good."

Last June I typed up a summary of this exercise along with some quick point reminders.

1.) PRAY
"Ask God to help you honor the body He has given you by maintaining the appropriate boundaries, including time and place. Reaffirm your love for Him and your desire to enjoy the food He has provided."

2.) COMFY
"Select your favorite spot and wear clothes in which you are comfortable."

3.) #0
"Check your hunger level. Plan to be at a 0 so that you can truly enjoy the food."

4.) ENTER GOD'S PRESENCE
"Take a moment to enter into God's presence as you invite Him to be a part of your dining experience."

5.) NOTE ENVIRONMENT
"Notice everything about the environment. No matter how familiar it may be, look at it as if you have never seen it before. Thank the Lrod for all of His provisions."

6.) NOTE FOOD
"Before you start eating, become aware of every item of food. Notice how it looks on the plate. Express your gratitude for the beauty in teh colors of the food and its fragrance. Before taking your first bite, take a moment to thank God for His generous provisions, and pray that the food would bring physical satisfactiona nd health to your body."

7.) SAVOUR
"Chew the food slowly and notice the different flavours and textures."

8.) SAMPLE
"Sample each item and then ask yourself it it was enjoyable. Does it really delight you? Or did you just think it would?"

9.) RATE
"How would you rate each item on your plate from 0 to 10 (0 being awful and 10 being terrific)?"

10.) #5
"Before you continue eating, check in with your hunger #'s. Stop eating when you're at a comfortable 5. Remember, your empty stomach is only as large as your fist."

11.) THANK GOD
"When you've finished, once again thank and praise God, for this time and for what you have learned during the dining experience."

Throwing out the Scale!

Okay, maybe not literally as my husband still uses the scale quite frequently. So I am throwing out the scale figuratively.

However, I think I'm ready to set it aside....forever! *gasp* Yes, I said FOREVER! I'm not sure if I'm just on one of my rollercoaster rides again! And I'm not 100% sure if I'm being motivated by denial...not wanting to see the # on the scale. I don't *think* I am...but it could certainly be one of the feelings in the whole mix.

I thought the month of March was just amazing. I went with the flow of 0-5 eating. I had my slipups, but didn't pull out the club of condemnation much at all. I was active. I felt beautiful. I was finding great satisfaction in the Lord, filling up on Him. I was actually quite shocked when I saw my weight had climbed a bit.

I stepped on the scale a number of times for the month of April....and noticed that my weight fluctuated, mostly settlling below that shocker # that I saw after my month without the scale. But I noticed that my eating slipped and slided a lot more. I also noticed that the club of condemnation was pulled out more. And I noticed how the way I viewed myself was quite affected by the # I read on the scale.

I preferred how the month of March went. I appreciated the "flow." I don't know if that makes sense. I realize that no one notices the difference that 5 lbs makes on my body (10lbs yes, but 5 lbs no). Therefore, when I start to feel fat and blobby and ugly simply because of those fluctuating 5lbs it begins to work against me and sends me spiralling more out of control.

This morning I was hit with an old realization in a fresh way...

I want my focus to be on getting rid of GREED (for God's glory) not getting SKINNY (for my glory).

I felt like I was suddenly released from unrealistic expectations of myself. All these years I've been aiming to hit that 147lb mark that I was prior to kids...and I keep failing to meet that mark. But I want eating 0-5 to be part of the very fabric of my life, an internal motivation, not an external motivation.

In order for me to remain intentional, I know that I really need to continue filling out my eating and exercise log each and every day. This is my way of being honest with myself and also documenting any patterns that may be developping. I also will continue observing/correcting and truth journaling. Once again this is about being intentional and being transformed from the inside.

What does this look like in the long run? Will I gain weight? Will I lose weight? I don't know! And I actually am pretty much at a point where I don't care!!!! (I can't believe I actually wrote that!)

What I DO care about is being obedient to the Lord, finding soul satisfaction in Him alone, filling up on Him, daily following my God-given hunger/fullness signals, aiming to be as conscious and present with my eating as possible, aiming to fill my body with whole-body pleasers more than teasers and staying active. That's the stuff I care about!!!

I'll let you know if this approach sticks. I think I've been journeying to this point for quite some time now...and may finally be ready for this step!

Challenge #8 ~ Slowly Savor

This is the last Thin Within conscious eating key to unpack! Wow, time has flown. And sadly I feel I have not put off the old self and put on the new in the past eight weeks. However, one positive is that I think the eight keys have really been ingrained in my memory much better than ever before. Digesting them one week at a time has given me a chance to absorb and apply the concept more fully.

So, here is the last one....

Eat slowly and savor each bite.

People often eat when they are distracted or distressed. Since we are not eating consciously at these times, the result can be overindulgence. If we eat only when we are hungry, and if we sit down, relax, and focus on our food, we will truly enjoy the eating experience and we can stop the habitual "inhaling" of food. You can enjoy your food, one small bite at a time. Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks (Nehemiah 8:10). As you "enjoy choice food and sweet drinks," you will be surprised how little food it takes to make you feel satisfied. As you eat more slowly, your stomach can accurately signal your brain as to when your physical need for food has been satisfied. TW pg10

This should be a fun and challenging challenge this week:-)

The first thing that comes to mind is that if I am not sitting to eat I am likely not eating slowly, savoring each bite or focusing on the food. I'm likely shoving it in my mouth as fast as I can.

The second thing that comes to mind is that IF I actually ate slowly and savored the food I'd be able to more easily find #5, be focusing on the food and conversation and also be finding which foods are pleasers/teasers/wholebody pleasers or total rejects.

I am looking forward to more consciously applying this key in the upcoming week. I'll let you know how it goes! Anyone else joining me?

Challenge #6 ~ Yum!

Okay, this should be a fun one!

Eat and drink the food and beverages my body enjoys.

Relish this as the opportunity to be authentic. With a thankful spirit and no guilt whatsoever, you can eat and enjoy whatever your heart desires and whatever your body calls for. You are free to be real with yourself and with God. You will discover how trustworthy your body is as you melt down to the size God created you to be. "Can't you see that what you eat won't defile you? Food doesn't come in contact with your heart, but only passes through the stomach and then comes out again." (By saying this, he showed that every kind of food is acceptable.) (Mark 7:18-19, NLT)

Too often, we get caught up in thinking we are "good" or "bad" based on what we eat. Food can't cleanse the heart no matter how little fat or how much fiber it contains. Be liberated and rejoice as you rid yourself of such thoughts and other dieting rules. For
the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17).

There are no forbidden foods. If you have food allergies or a medical condition that would require abstinence from certain foods, by all means heed your doctor's recommendations. But aside from that, enjoy God's wonderful provisions. We might, however, be tempted to take this to an extreme to abuse or misuse food. It's important for us to remember that "Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12). When unsure, ask God what your body needs in order to feel and operate its best. You will then know what will be an
appropriate choice. (TW pg 9-10 )

Thin Within also mentions, later in the book, the concept of teasers, pleasers and whole-body pleasers. I think it is beneficial to keep these terms in mind as well. Actually the words "my body enjoys" seems very reflective of aiming for whole-body pleasers. It's not just about what my tastebuds tell me when eating a food. It's also what the rest of my body tells me. Does the food/beverage make me feel sluggish afterwards? Energized? Sick? etc.

Here's a brief recap of pleasers, teasers and whole body pleasers...

Pleasers: you know you will enjoy, you know that this is a food that will hit the spot and bring physical satisfaction, the sort of food for which you would walk a mile, may change from day to day. (TW pg 186)

Teasers: convenient, easy to get to, call out and tempt you, eaten when our flesh machinerery is in high gear, look better than they taste, "stuffer" or "filler," not very satisfying, make us think "more is better," food wasn't on our mind until we heard about it, saw it or smelled it, all-time classic teaser is what's left of your pleaser when you have reached your comfortable 5 and are satsfied! (TW pg 187)

Whole-Body Pleasers: foods that your body calls out for, are enjoyable while you eat them, and they leave you feeling energized afterward. (TW pg 188)

I love this concept that anything is permissible. It certainly makes it easier to "fit" into any lifestyle or setting. Our family easter brunch doesn't need to set me off track because I know that all things are permissible...within the 0-5 boundaries. When going on vacation I can relax into it and fully enjoy the experience (including new foods), aiming to stay within the boundaries of 0-5 once again.

My body is pretty easy to please I must say! Very few things make my body feel yucky, sluggish etc. Coffee/tea is the biggest thing I try to stay away from because the caffeine keeps me up at night. So, for me the biggest thing to watch for is that a pleaser or whole body pleaser does not become my teaser. This happens when I go outside the 0-5 boundaries. Desserts have become teasers in this sense for me far too often lately. This is where "Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12) comes into effect. I am currently assessing how to make sure that desserts don't master me because I know this would not be pleasing to God.

So, this upcoming week, I'm going to aim to eat yummy stuff that makes my body feel good! And more than that I'm going to aim to eat stuff with my allegiance lined with God, not the food. I don't just want my body to feel satisfied with yummy foods....I want my SOUL to be satisfied with yummy food (His word, time in prayer and spent at His feet)!

My SOUL will be satisfied as with the richest of foods. Psalm 63:5

So I choose to fill my mouth, body and soul with yummy stuff this week:-) Wow, as I write this I can't help but think that my boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places! Thanks, Lord!

Boundaries

What boundaries, with regard to eating, do I feel called to? This is the question I've been pondering a bit more over the past couple days.

First and foremost I definitely feel God calling me to eat within hunger and fullness (#0-#5). This just works for me. I feel comfortable with it. It makes sense to me and resonates with me. The signals that God created my body to send me, telling me when I'm hungry and full just seem so logical to me. If I stay within 0-5 at all times, eating for emotional reasons is kept to a minimum. Of course, staying within those boundaries at all times is another matter...

Another boundary that I have felt impressed on me more frequently of late is that I should be sitting at the table to eat. If I stayed within that boundary a lot of the extra nibbling would be eliminated.

I'm still unsure what kinds of boundaries God is calling me to in regards to sugary treats. One that has worked for me in the past has been to save treats for dinner dessert. None during the day. I'm just not sure if I need to take this a step further. I know in my post on April 1st I was talking about eliminating sugary treats for the month (excluding social occasions). But, in all honesty I haven't been sticking to this. I'm going to seek God on this one a bit more. This definitely presents the biggest challenge for me to stay within the 0-5 boundary. I will certainly need to feel God's conviction and empowerment on this one for me to follow through. This one is a TOUGH one for me!

Boundaries are a wonderful and beautiful thing when lovingly set in place. I know that God has given me many boundary lines, to live within His will, and I know that He has set these boundary lines out of love and care for me. I am blown away by the fact that God really and truly loves me and wants to satisfy me more than anything or anyone else! The following verses are very special to me...

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:24

LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. Psalm 16:6

The Lord is my portion. Those are powerful words. Nothing else will satisfy me like God does. Too often I'm like a whiny child, wanting what I want NOW, when what really is most satisfying and healthy in the long run is extended from the hand of a loving parent.

My boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places. I certainly feel this is true in my life. I am thankful that God has allowed me to experience so many pleasures and joys in my life when staying within His boundaries. Yet how often do I turn a blind eye to these boundary lines? I honestly can often feel the switch turning on or off within me, when I want to step outside the boundary lines and do things my own way. ugh. I need to STOP and be transformed by the rewewing of my mind, taking captive every thought and making it obedient to Christ, BEFORE I step outside these boundaries! Why on earth would I want to step into the muck and mire of sin when God has gifted me with such a pleasant place?

And then moving onto this verse...

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11

In my mind, if I was to envision where I'd like the boundary lines of my life to fall...I can see this vision of fences surrounding His throne. Oh, that is the place to STAY, isn't it!!!! All other things will fall into place when I keep my mind stayed on Him, when I stay in His presence.

Challenge #4 ~ Sit!

Well, three weeks have whizzed by! I am finding myself certainly very aware of #0. Being willing to stop at #5 can still be an issue for me. I still have some greedy weeds in the soil of my heart. Reducing distractions was a challenge for me this past week. I'm not sure I entirely succeeded in reducing distractions...but I think that this week's conscious eating key will help me reduce distractions...at least if I sit at the dining room table (or couch as I often do)! Sitting at the computer or TV doesn't quite seem quite as helpful and effective!

So, here is a quick recap of this conscious eating key, as described in the Thin Within Book (on pg 9).

Eating When Sitting Down

Americans are famous for eating on the run, and much of our unconscious or mindless eating is done while driving. If you eat on the run or while standing at the kitchen counter, you aren't fully focused on the food or enjoying present-time eating. When this happens, you may hear yourself saying, "I haven't had a thing to eat all day."

We will encourage you throughout these thirty days to remain in the present moment and to relish it for hte pleasure it brings. If you sit down and take time to focus on giving your body the fuel it needs, your mind will record the fact that you have eaten. Often, in our hurry-on-the-go lifestyles, we charge ahead and our hearts and minds feel as if they haven't been refreshed. [And then he said,] "Refresh yourself with something to eat; then you can go." So the two of them sat down to eat and drink together (Judges 19:5-6).

I tend to do a lot of snacking at the counter during dinner preparations, grabbing a little bite of this or that. I'm going to try to stop this habit. I am going to make it my goal to ensure each and every bite that goes into my mouth is done while sitting (preferably at the dining room table). Anyone else joining me? Anyone else have any thoughts or feedback?

Challenge #3 - Reduce Distractions

Okay, now I'm onto this key to conscious eating, after backing up last week! I'm continuing to focus on #0 (hunger) and #5 (satisfaction), the most foundational basic building blocks of intuitive conscious TW eating. Now I'm adding "reducing distractions" which should actually help me be more aware of my #5!

Here is what I originally posted last week and then backtracked on....

Reduce the number of distractions in order to eat in a calm environment.

There is a delightful experience that awaits you at each meal. However, if you are like most of us, your mealtimes are often chaotic instead of calm. A chaotic environment produces chaotic eating. Ponder relishing a quiet meal, where you can be still, and know that [He is] God (Psalm 46:10) when you eat. You will discover that eating really can be a more satisfying experience. Allow yourself the pleasure of being focused on your food. At Thin Within, we call this eating in "present time." If your mind is elsewhere or if you are distracted, you are less likely to enjoy your food. You will also find yourself going back for "seconds" because you were not fully present the first time around. The Lord wants us to experience both His provisions nd His peace. Mealtimes can be an opportunity to turn off the TV or disruptive music, and put aside your reading. In the process, we can then praise Him for the sight, the smell, and the taste of each bite of food. (TW pg 8)

I think this can be a particular challenge for parents of preschool children, especially if you are a SAHM and every meal is eaten together. "Chaos" is just part of the equation with young kids it seems. Well, maybe not chaos, but mealtimes are certainly not all that calm and unrushed generally speaking for most people I bet. Food battles, spilled milk, help cutting food etc. etc. are typical for the preschool years....and even into the elementary years at times, as I can attest!

I can actually enjoy my breakfast and lunch in a completely calm environment (if I prioritize this) now that my kids are in school full time. I usually relish the calm of these meals. Supper is usually a lot less calm as the whole family gathers around the table. But I wouldn't want to reduce the distraction of my dear family!!! This is part of creating a connected, happy, loving family environment. However, I can tell the difference in myself when I am NOT present and enjoying each bite due to the action around the table VERSUS when I embrace each mouthful, thanking God quickly for each bite, getting into a rhythm of enjoying the conversations and disruptions all the while fully enjoying my food. THIS rhythm is what I am aiming for....since I can't cut out the "chaos" of a family mealtime! LOL

Being truly present for each eating experience IS a daily challenge for me. I know I need to continue aiming to be in the moment, present, not forgetting to enjoying all the senses that God has given me to enjoy! Giving constant thanks to the Lord for His provisions.

Here is what I posted this afternoon to my daily accountability group:

Here is a "heads up" for myself with regards to the following distractions...

1. TV
I need to make sure I don't equate relaxing in the evening while watching a show WITH eating. I think I've began to slide into that a little bit lately. I like to watch TV and munch. I haven't struggled with that too much through the years, but have noticed this urge in myself recently.

2. Standing vs. sitting while eating
I know that "sitting" is another key that we will unpack later. "Standing" and eating is often a distraction for me. I need to remember to sit at the table (or on the couch works for me too) while eating. I just tend to not be distracted by other activities then. For example, if I'm prepping dinner, munching while standing at the counter - I'm being distracted from eating in truly present time, by the work I'm doing in the kitchen.

3. Computer
Sometimes I eat while at the computer. I need to ensure I, at the very least, get into a rhythm with focussing on the food when I take a bite, rather then on the computer screen.

4. Kids
Yes, the kids can really distract me from focus on food as noted before. But they are a blessing and I wouldn't want it any other way. I just need to make sure I balance it, once again like a rhythm between conversation and eating, not letting my mind and body go into auto pilot! I need to make EVERY SECOND "present time."

Anyone else have any thoughts? What are common "distractions" that you deal with on a regular basis? Kids? TV? Reading while eating? Just letting your thoughts run away and not in the present moment? Eating on the run, in the car, in a hurry? What are you going to have a "heads up" about in the upcoming week? Are there any mindless activities you do you do while eating....which in turn distract you from tasting, seeing, smelling the food, being in communion with the Lord and sensing when your body is reaching satisfaction while eating? Any boundaries you feel called to set up this upcoming week to push you to reduce distractions? Any other plans of action?

Let's be intentional and seek the Lord on this! Let's keep our focus FIXED and STAYED on the Lord!

Challenge #2 - Stopping at #5

Okay, I'm switching gears a little. I'll make my last post, about reducing distractions, challenge #3 for NEXT WEEK. Since eating at #0 and stopping at #5 are really the most basic building blocks of the TW approach, it seems appropriate to make TW conscious eating key#8 our second challenge. So here are some excerpts from the TW book in regards to stopping at #5.

Stop before my body is "full."

In other words, stop at a place of comfort before your body is "full" or "stuffed." Many particpants find this problematic to apply. They may develop an awareness of what physical hunger feels like, but then, once they begin to eat, they roll right on past the appropriate stopping point. Twenty minutes later, they are surprised to find themselves needing to unbutton their pants or become horizontal in order to be "comfortable." However, once they take the time to slow down and to savor their food, stopping at a place of comfort isn't quite as challenging. If you feel "full," or "stuffed" when you stop eating, your stomach is being stretched and you have actually eaten more than your body needs. If you are tempted to eat beyond a "comfortable" point, remind yourself that no temptation is beyond His reach. God is fathful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a weay out so that you can stand up under it (1 Cor. 10:13). TW pg 10-11

I definitely find it challenging to stop at #5. I think it may be time to look at bit more closely at what I consider a #5 and possibly re-adjust my hunger #'s again. Here are some of my other posts on this very topic...

http://godsrainbowpromises.blogspot.com/2008/05/eating-0-5.html
http://godsrainbowpromises.blogspot.com/2008/09/5-wake-up-call.html

So, anyone else have any thoughts on stopping at #5? Anyone else joining me?! I'd love to hear from you!

Challenge #1 - Eating at "0"

My daily accountability group is doing a week by week challenge covering the eight keys to conscious eating that are unpacked in the Thin Within book. I know that others were doing similar challenges over the past few months at the TW forums and also Heidi highlighted each of the keys on her blog.

What does "0" feel like for me?
"0" or physiological hunger feels like an ache in my belly. I can usually feel it approaching. And then after the ache my stomach usually starts to audibly rumble. Sometimes there is no rumble, but usually the ache. I can tell the difference between hunger and digestion gurgling sounds because first, I know if it is shortly after eating it is clearly digestion, and secondly, the rumbling is a different sort of sound, a lot more urgent sounding (!) and accompanied by that ache. What does hunger feel like for you?

Do I usually eat at "0"?
This is a real challenge for me. I like to make this my aim though I struggle on a daily basis with being consistent. It's amazing how easy it is to slide out of the "routine" of eating at "0." When I'm in the "eating at '0' mode" then it's almost like a rhythm that I'm part of. When I'm out of the routine...well then it's like I'm just completely out of time and out of tune with my body's needs and signals.

I embrace hunger!
I think it is one of the neatest "shadows" of Scriptural truth. We all need food to survive physically. Without food we are weak, malnourished, dying. Physical hunger reminds me that I not only need physical food...but I also need SPIRITUAL food. Without filling up on the Lord, feasting at His table in His word and prayer, abiding and remaining with Him and in step with Him, I am spiritually weak, malnourished and dying. (I just felt that the last day or two as I was seriously lacking a good meal at His table as the busyness of life caught up with me!)

As I authentically open wide my mouth (spiritually speaking) and fill up on the Lord I believe He begins to increase in my life and I begin to decrease. And as I begin to decrease my heart's desire and prayer is that my greed for food and my running to food when I'm NOT at "0" (physically hungry) will also begin to diminish and decrease as well.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Anyone else care to join us in this weekly challenge? We're moving onto Key#2 (Eat in a calm environment by reducing distractions) on Sunday.

Unique Approach to Chewing Food!

Eating 0-5 can be a real challenge. I can be particularily difficult to always follow each of the keys to conscious eating, aiming to make it essentially the "first meal of the rest of your life" each and every time!

Here's a quick recap of the keys to conscious eating:

• 1. Eat when my body is hungry ("0").
• 2. Eat in a calm environment by reducing distractions.
• 3. Eat when sitting.
• 4. Eat when my body and mind are relaxed.
• 5. Eat and drink the things my body enjoys.
• 6. Pay attention to my food while eating.
• 7. Eat slowly, savoring each bite.
• 8. Stop before my body is full ("5").

The other day at the Thin Within forums an old thread re-surfaced: Any tips on eating slowly?

There was some really useful and interesting stuff posted there. But the post that really grabbed my attention was posted by Lizzy Joy here. She talked about how she finds it helpful to chew to memory verses or to music! I thought that was very unique!

So, I have given it a try this week a few times. The first time I tried chewing in time to memory verses (saying them in my head). That was tough since I say it kind of fast in my head, so I'd end up chewing too fast I found. Of course if I said the verses in my head very meditatively and slowly, reflecting on each word, the pace for chewing may be a little more manageable!

Then I tried chewing to my prayers, basically constant gratitude to the Lord for every bite and for His provisions, chewing in time to each word. That was very beneficial I found.

I also tried chewing to music... I don't think I found the right song yet for that to really work!

In each of the attempts I have found my attention drawn more fully to the Lord and gratitude for His provisions. This is a wonderful thing! I have found eating a much more meditative process.

So, I just thought I'd share these little tidbits with you as I thought they were quite a unique way of approaching chewing food:-) Therefore, even while (or especially while!) eating I cry to the Lord...

Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long. Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, for they are ever with me. Psalm 119:97-98

#5 Wake-Up Call

Today I was more aware of stopping at or before #5 at supper. To feel essentially "nothing" after a satisfying supper meal is not what I've been doing lately! I'll take that as my wake-up call to re-examine what my #5 is! Thanks, Lord, for the wake-up call:-) Amen.

Heidi's blog got me thinking...

I have been reading through Heidi's blog starting at the beginning of her journey and have been really convicted and challenged through much of what she wrote.

I was thinking at supper tonight about the "giving up the last bite" plan being unnecessary as long as I stop at #5. Well, I think it is a really good practice for me to continue... Why am I even fighting it??? I know it is because I want to eat ALL my food!!! So, I will continue sacrificing some of the food on my plate to the Lord.

The other thing that I know I need to do, that I have read in various places (the latest being Heidi's blog), is to pray and ask the Lord for direction when to stop eating. I really need to start implementing this more. I need to trust Him. I have found it quite bizarre how I actually have a little burp (would air bubble being a nicer description?? :-) when I'm satisfied... Yet so often I push past that and want to continue eating as much as I can within the parameters of 0-5. I feel quite convicted that I'm being disobedient in this. Sometimes I don't get this "air bubble" but still know I've had enough to satisfy. I'm kind of toying with the idea of actually exercising (jumping rope or running) immediately following dinner... Wouldn't that be a good challenge!!!

I also am feeling challenged to wait for really clear hunger signals. I find it particulary hard to discern what my #0 is when I don't get the rumble in the belly. These are the times that I often rationalize my way through the "Am I hungry yet?" question.

Also in regards to the scale.... What an up and down rollercoaster this has been! I read how Heidi would pray and ask God to reveal when she could step on the scale... Interesting thought. I am not sure I am called to wait an entire month (until mid-July) as I originally planned. I guess I have fear of gaining weight when I'm not really consistent with 0-5 eating. I'd rather just know where I stand with things and then keep pressing forward. I'm not sure if this is *wrong* or not... I have to admit I'm a little scared to step on the scale tomorrow morning (which is my current plan). I certainly feel challenged to possibly make it a once-a-week weigh in. I'll just have to bring this to the Lord and follow His leading.

Eating without being accountable to others as I was before, is a bit tough I find. I find I'm not eating quite as consistently 0-5 as before. Why is that!!! Strange I know! Anyways, I plan to keep on growing in this area as I don't think it makes much sense to keep on posting everything I eat for the rest of my life! I know I'm going in the right direction with this one.

Also, I'm having more trouble with regular exercise. I go through my spurts all the time...and really want to get back into regular exercise again. Not sure why I fall off the exercise band wagon all the time! It's not like I set myself up with lofty unrealistic goals! I know it is just laziness!

In regards to time with the Lord... I just am blown away by how He is becoming more a part of each moment. I'm also blown away by the hunger and thirst I have for His word. Thank you Lord!

Well, that's an update at my end. Reading Heidi's blog certainly got me thinking and reflecting! Thanks, Heidi! God continues to use your journey and words to encourage others! What a testimony to His power and grace! You are shining for Him and bringing Him glory! Thanks!

Thursday update

On Sunday I wrote...
Pizza lunch at school. I just need to make sure I'm hungry for that meal. Anytime I have to be hungry for a pre-set time I find it a little more challenging I guess. Then in the evening I'm out for coffee with a friend. Once again I will need to be alert and intentional.

I wasn't hungry for breakfast and also wasn't quite at "0" when it was time to eat lunch at school. However, I joined my kids for the pizza lunch, eating with them. I ate a very moderate amount.

I was so pleasantly surprised to be hungry by 3:30pm! My heart said a quick "thanks" to God! And I opted to just eat my supper at that point, as we were not having a big family dinner that night, but rather just a little of this and that.

In the evening I went out with my friend for coffee and just opted to have a peppermint tea (no cream/sugar). It felt so good to finally be back on track and making good choices.

Today (Friday) has been a back on-track day, praise God! I have been depending on the Lord and really calling out to Him. I was even able to choose to make healthier whole-body pleaser choices so far today, which has felt great!

Well, that's my quick update from my "planning for trials" post a couple days ago.

Thank you Lord.

Wednesday update

Here's what I wrote on Sunday...
I'm going to the school to help with the "Taste of Egypt" party. There will be lots of food around. I will maybe just skip/eat a light breakfast that day and enjoy the variety of food samples that will be served in the morning. I'll likely be busy for much of the time, but will probably be eating some samples a little later.

Unfortunately, I need to be completely transparent with everyone and say I have really not done well today with my eating. One of my biggest "fat machinery" triggers is tiredness...and that was a huge factor today. I wasn't hungry for breakfast and at 11am (still don't think I was at #0...though I may have been too busy to notice!) when it was time to taste the samples I started to munch... Then on top of that I had some company for lunch...and the munching continued. And then more munching after that...

I thank God for His grace which I know He freely offers me...and boy do I need a lot of it!

Lord, I am so sorry for not being obedient. I choose to follow You. I want my life to be glorifying to You in ALL I say and do. In Jesus name, amen.

Since I just figured out how to post a youtube video properly I'll close off this post with a song which really moved me tonight...

"East to West" by Casting Crowns

Re-start.....again....

Well, I think it's time to push the re-start button again.... I feel like my eating is bordering on out-of-control again...at least tonight it was. I feel like I've had a few "off" days.

Maybe the transition of no longer publicly logging my eating has been part of the struggle. I find it interesting how I have been craving not-so-healthy choices more the past few days (which I've mostly resisted, but found it more difficult). I think it helped me stay focussed on eating more whole-body pleasers when I knew I was choosing to be transparent about each choice.

Of course it could have something to do with monthly hormone cycles too. Who knows! Whatever the case, I'm not satisfied to be in this place. I want my eyes to be on God, my Helper, my Savior.

I still desire to leave a favorite last bite of each meal as a sacrifice to the Lord, as a reflection of my surrendered heart. That will continue to be a challenge I work on. I have noticed how difficult it is! I guess the fact of the matter is that I usually eat what's on my plate and then often take one last nibble at the food in the serving dish etc. as that VERY last taste. So actually choosing to not even finish what's on my plate (even though it is just one little bite!) is a bit of a stretch for me! I think it is good to practice this as it will help me put the brakes on my eating, with my eyes on the Lord, when I am tempted to eat all the food on my plate past a #5.

I know there are a few things coming up this week that could set me off and act as triggers to eating outside 0-5. Here are the ones I know will be a little more challenging this week...

Planning for trials this week:

Monday
We're going to have a bit of an out-of-schedule kind of day as we spend a family day going biking and probably eating out (maybe just an ice cream stop). My aim will be to pack a light lunch for myself and take a very small serving of ice cream, maybe even just share Jon's ice cream treat and really savour those few bites... I like that idea:-) After our biking outing I plan on creating a "pyramid" cake for the Wed. school event (taste of egypt). I'll aim to completely avoid any of those cake trimmings or icing, except if I'm hungry of course, at which point it would just be a moderate amount.

Wednesday
I'm going to the school to help with the "Taste of Egypt" party. There will be lots of food around. I will maybe just skip/eat a light breakfast that day and enjoy the variety of food samples that will be served in the morning. I'll likely be busy for much of the time, but will probably be eating some samples a little later.

Thursday
Pizza lunch at school. I just need to make sure I'm hungry for that meal. Anytime I have to be hungry for a pre-set time I find it a little more challenging I guess. Then in the evening I'm out for coffee with a friend. Once again I will need to be alert and intentional.

One passage that has really been resonating with me the past week is Psalm 63:1-8

O God, you are my God,

earnestly I seek you;

my soul thirsts for you,

my body longs for you,

in a dry and weary land

where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary

and beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life,

my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live,

and in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;

I think of you through the watches of the night.

Because you are my help,

I sing in the shadow of your wings.

My soul clings to you;

your right hand upholds me.

Flying Free

I don’t even really know where to start putting my thoughts into words... I think this is going to be a long post as I sort out my ramblings!

My first thought that I really want to share is how thankful I am for all the wonderful friends I’ve met online. I know I’ve said thank you before, but you are really truly such an inspiration and blessing and encouragement to me. You are a gift from God!

My second thought is that I feel like I’m entering a new stage/phase! I think I could liken what I’m feeling to a baby being connected to it’s mother with the umbilical cord in the womb and once it is ready to come out into the world the cord is severed and the baby moves on, growing up, dependant yet also independent of mom.

I feel like the past six months have been a time of growing and learning as I’ve followed TW principles. I’ve been extremely focussed, calling out to God for help through this entire time and seeking to surrender all to Him, daily reading my TW book (on my fourth time through it!), faithfully tracking my eating and hunger #’s, working through the Thin Again book and questions and also posting on this blog. It’s been intense and yet SOOOOO worth it! A wonderful foundation has been laid. God has really been at work in my heart and changing me into a new creation. Praise Him!

I have been feeling a little challenged over the past while to re-consider what I post to my food log. Finally, yesterday, when Paula posted that she was simply going to log her hunger #’s it was like the nudge I needed. It is time to cut loose this practice I’ve been faithfully doing. Last night at supper felt so strange as I knew I wasn’t going to “tell” anyone what I ate for supper! Not sure how describe it! It was almost like I had this weird mix of “oooh, I can eat whatever I want!” mixed with the good choice of sticking with what I’ve been doing for the past number of months following 0-5 conscious eating and healthy choices. I just was really struck by how I could be so impacted by such a simple change. I can see how it became legalistic (and almost like a diet law) for me…yet at the same time I know that is what I needed for a time and wouldn't change it!

As I near the end of the TW book once again I think it will be time to move onto new reading material as well. I was thinking of doing the TW workbook next for my devotional material, but am re-thinking this as I want to be sensitive to God’s leading of which material He desires me to study and grow with. Maybe the TW material won’t need to be so much the focus, now that the foundation has been laid and I certainly feel like it is becoming more natural to live within 0-5. I want my relationship with God to grow and blossom more and more, which is really what TW is about at the very core of it! I really loved “Living beyond yourself: exploring the fruits of the spirit” by Beth Moore, as I studied this in the fall/early spring. I am doing another Beth Moore study on David, but still preferred the fruits of the spirit study. My point is that I am looking forward to finding something to really chew on and help me grow! Ideas anyone?

Summer is fast approaching which will come with many challenges. One of the challenges will be that I will not have the same kind of online support available as we travel for much of the summer. The other big challenge that I have experienced in the past is change in routines—lots of s’mores and bannock around the campfire, snacking in the vehicle for long drives, and then all the “tourist” eating that comes with travels. I will need to come up with a plan of action for how to deal with these temptations (will post on that at another time). I know this summer will be a time of testing this foundation, if there are any holes in it, observing and correcting and growing, and leaning FIRST AND FOREMOST on God for my support and help. It will be an interesting challenge I’m sure!

I feel like this year God has been guiding me to focus on my relationship with Him and on my heart. In the process many of the ministries that I have been actively part of in the past have been put on hold. Well, I guess it has been a mixture of both kids being in school for the first time as well, which really was an adjustment in itself. Anyways, this year has been a time of great reflection and growth for me...maybe a bit of a sabbatical! I sense that God is preparing me for something new and awesome:-) Don't know what yet! But am looking forward to it! This summer our family is heading down to Mexico to visit/serve at an orphanage for two weeks... I really feel that God is going to use that time to further reveal His vision and purpose for my life. I really desire to be His instrument.

So, am I ready to fly free? I don’t know, but I feel I’m being nudged out of that nest, being encouraged by God to move forward into this next stage with confidence and trust in Him.

"But those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:31

The First Meal of the Rest of Your Life

I was challenged by this exercise. I have been pretty much following the keys to conscious eating, but I don't think I've invited God into each eating experience as fully as I should. I felt like typing up the exercise from TW pg 154-155 (along with a quick 1-2 word summary for each point) to serve as a reminder for myself. I figure others may find it a useful reminder too...

1.) PRAY

"Ask God to help you honor the body He has given you by maintaining the appropriate boundaries, including time and place. Reaffirm your love for Him and your desire to enjoy the food He has provided."

2.) COMFY

"Select your favorite spot and wear clothes in which you are comfortable."

3.) #0

"Check your hunger level. Plan to be at a 0 so that you can truly enjoy the food."

4.) ENTER GOD'S PRESENCE

"Take a moment to enter into God's presence as you invite Him to be a part of your dining experience."

5.) NOTE ENVIRONMENT

"Notice everything about the environment. No matter how familiar it may be, look at it as if you have never seen it before. Thank the Lrod for all of His provisions."

6.) NOTE FOOD

"Before you start eating, become aware of every item of food. Notice how it looks on the plate. Express your gratitude for the beauty in teh colors of the food and its fragrance. Before taking your first bite, take a moment to thank God for His generous provisions, and pray that the food would bring physical satisfactiona nd health to your body."

7.) SAVOUR

"Chew the food slowly and notice the different flavours and textures."

8.) SAMPLE

"Sample each item and then ask yourself it it was enjoyable. Does it really delight you? Or did you just think it would?"

9.) RATE

"How would you rate each item on your plate from 0 to 10 (0 being awful and 10 being terrific)?"

10.) #5

"Before you continue eating, check in with your hunger #'s. Stop eating when you're at a comfortable 5. Remember, your empty stomach is only as large as your fist."

11.) THANK GOD

"When you've finished, once again thank and praise God, for this time and for what you have learned during the dining experience."

Praise God!

Praising God for His faithfulness and provision of strength this weekend. It felt so intentional thinking about all this ahead of time and "planning for trials". It was awesome as I was able to be more on guard against temptation and stay within 0-5 eating despite challenges. And, as Heidi pointed out in one of her comments, it builds confidence in me for future trials.

So, for those who didn't read my updates on my food log I'll give a summary of how things went.

Friday - Dinner at Mom & Dad's
I went into it very mindful of conscious eating and planning for trials. I was very hungry and ready to eat when I got to my parent's place. I took small servings, but should really have taken even smaller ones as I feel awkward leaving food on my plate at their place. I slid the other 1/2 of my meatball over to my husband when my mom wasn't looking! *lol* I noticed my mom took note of how little I was taking...not sure if she thinks I didn't like her food or if she thought I was eating too little... (I made sure to profusely thank her for the meal and told her how delicious it was) Then when it was dessert time I made sure to have a wonderful mug of hot mint tea along with the chocolate pudding pie and savoured each and every bite of my small slice. My mom sent some of the pudding pie home with us, but I resisted temptation and didn't eat it. I felt completely satisfied after our family dinner. Praise God for this answered prayer!

Saturday - 12th Anniversary Celebration
Well, first of all our anniversary isn't until June 1st technically, but we wanted to go on a date to celebrate so this was the best possible time for our date. What a day! I was hungry so many times it was almost annoying! Imagine that! Being annoyed with being hungry *lol*! Thanks to God for helping me prepare for this "trial". I don't really like calling this weekend a "trial" as it really is all pleasant friend/family oriented activities, but I do know that each of these occasions presents challenges to 0-5 eating which are hurdles I am working on overcoming in God's strength.

So, what can I say about tonight.... Went bike riding with Jon for our anniversary date. What fun we had and my heart was just soaring with praise to God for a wonderful husband (who I had a lot of fun with!) and for His beautiful creation. I seriously felt overwhelmed with gratitude.

Then we stopped midway through for supper at a little fish & chips restaurant. Very neat little restaurant. The servings were fairly large so I right aways dumped over half my plate of food on Jon's plate....maybe will need to change this as the poor guy has a hard time not finishing up the food on his plate. I don't think it would have worked to take food home today as we were biking and the food wouldn't have stayed cool.

I was very present for the eating and really practiced conscious eating. Then we stopped for dessert another part way through our bike ride and had some ice cream. I seriously thought I could have eaten a few cones of ice cream... People around looked at them and would say "wow, that's huge!" and I kept thinking, "I could easily eat all that plus a few more." Then I watched the slim people around me and saw what they were ordering and thought "this is what I need to become more like. I need to become more content with smaller servings and just really savour it and not be greedy for too much." So I ordered a small cone . And I relished and enjoyed it:-) It was plenty, I felt comfortable and satisfied and very pleased to be within 0-5 eating.

I really feel convicted of the need to re-adjust my appetite for food. I need to be content with less. I need to view food as a naturally thin person does. As Heidi so wisely pointed out, I need to find other non-food treats in life. I shouldn't be expecting ice cream to be the ultimate treat. Eating outside of 0-5 does not fulfill and leaves a trail of brokeness and extra weight. So I'll be looking to God to grow more in this area.

Sunday - Church Potluck
I went into the meal very hungry which was positive to begin with. I took a small portion of food and was "present" and "conscious" for the entire meal. I made brownies in advance and set aside four small pieces for a later dessert (one slice for each of us). I thought this would help me resist eating any sweets at the luncheon....which it did. I didn't feel deprived of desserts, even though everyone around me was eating desserts. I just knew I'd have my dessert (that I'd set aside) at a more appropriate time.

Sunday - Dinner with Friends
Then we went to a friend's place for dinner...and I was hungry for that too, praise God! I was once again focussing on conscious eating and enjoying the company of friends. It was a wonderful meal, delicious food (that probably tasted all that much better because I was so present while eating plus was hungry to begin with), and also such a blessed time with friends as we shared from each other's hearts and prayed together. Thanks God.

The friend I was visitting happens to be the lady who is my "naturally thin eater" mentor. I have often observed her natural approach towards food. She never counts calories (and seems actually quite opposed to that or any other kind of diet mentality!), eats a balanced diet including sweet treats and coffee with those yummy flavored creamers. I was watching her a bit more closely tonight to see how she was eating. It's interesting how naturally it just seems to flow for her. It's interesting how it is so evident food doesn't hold any mastery over her.

In conclusion, PRAISE GOD! What more can I say! And thanks to those who remembered me in prayer. I'd love to do the same for you!

Thin Again - ch 4 Questions

Chapter 4:
Conscious Eating Not Compulsive Eating

What does the word “deliver” mean?
a rescue from the power of.

What does the word “freedom” mean?
God rescues us from the things that prevent us from living by faith.

What is “fat machinery”?
Anything that makes you eat when you’re not at “0”. I think of it as triggers. Ones that the author pinpoints are: conditioned and habitual responses, old unworkable beliefs, scales, past experiences and failures.

List any fat machinery that may have contributed to your disordered eating.

1. I bake, I eat—taste test trap…and often the trap continues to lure me if it is a sugary treat.
2. I’ve got to finish up this tempting food item so I’m not going to be tempted by it anymore.
3. It’s mealtime.
I enjoy food a lot and relish hot items hot out of the oven. To wait often means settling for less tasty food. I find baked items continue to tempt me when they are in the house as I have quite a sweet tooth.

4. I’m already off track so it’s license to stay off track!
5. I have failed so often, I will probably fail again.
This one has plagued me over and over again. It’s all about each moment and each choice.

6. Social events.
When it comes to social events I just let my guard down and find it hard to focus on the other, more important, reasons (other then food) for the social time.

7. I don’t want to wait for hunger.
Greed once again at the heart of the matter. Also, at times there are practical reasons. I find those a bit more tricky to deal with.

8. I’m tired and need a pick-me-up.
When I’m tired I find that I figure food will give me that extra energy boost I need….it often does. Eating after hosting company is another thing I’ve been in the habit of. I tend to not enjoy my food as much when I’m hosting (as I focus on all the details and on the company), plus I’ve usually made something extra tasty and sweet, so after company leaves I often just want to relax, kick up my feet and have that one last little treat.

What is true hunger?
“True hunger is a physical sensation in the body caused by the need for food.” TA pg 71

This link describes hunger quite well. I also liked this quick summary of the Weigh Down book's eating when you're hungry approach.

What is appetite?
“Appetite is a habitual desire for some gratification, either of the body or the mind, that food won’t satisfy even though we think it will.” TA pg. 71

How has your bathroom scale been part of your fat machinery?
“What happens when you wake up in the morning, step onto the bathroom scale, and see (arghhh!) that you’ve gained two pounds? You decide that your current efforts to lose weight aren’t working, so in your frustration what do you want to do? EAT! And what happens when you step onto the bathroom scale and see (yeah!) that you’ve “lost” a few pounds? What do you want to do? EAT! You decide to celebrate your victory with a hot fudge sundae, right? Either way the act of weighing has not served you.” TA pg. 74

This describes what I’ve experienced quite thoroughly. At times I can detach myself from the mastery of the scale in these instances and allow it to simply be a feedback tool, but at other times it simply does exactly as described above. It is a fine balancing act for me. I would like it if the scale would have no power over me. At this point in my journey I’m concentrating on the 0-5 eating being “scale”.

Write your understanding of the grace principle of observation and correction.
I simply acknowledge and note when I have made a choice that works contrary to 0-5 eating. I try to take note what I did and why I did it. This is my way of acknowledging before God that I have not been obedient and say “sorry”.

Correction (which I haven’t noted as much as observations) is what I can do different next time so I don’t make the same mistake again. It essentially is the conclusion of “sorry” as I repent and turn away… I think it is time to take note of corrections more often so I can change and grow more.

“A grace-oriented approach allows us to observe our behavior and correct it when we recognize that it does not serve our goals or God’s purpose for us.” TA pg 79

"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat." F. Scott Fizgerald

Thin Again - ch 3 Questions

Chapter 3 – Grace not Legalism

What is God’s grace?
God’s grace is a “dynamic outpouring (that) was made in flesh in Jesus Christ. Christ became the new offering—the means of attonement and reconciliation—for our sin and guilt... God, in his grace, not only offers forgiveness, but gives us the power (through the faith in the indwelling Christ) to become sons and daughters—bearers of his character and will... It is this love, this outpouring of God’s grace, that works the transformation of our innermost being so that we delight in pleasing him—indeed, live to please him. When we love Christ and our desire is to please him in everything, we are released from clinging to rules, regulations, and performance.” TA pg 54

“Grace is the active expression of God’s love. Grace empowers us to choose rightly in what seem to be the most choiceless of situations, but it does not, and will not determine that choice.” TA pg 51


How does God’s grace work in our lives?
“Grace is freedom that conforms us from within; legalism is bondage that constrains us from without.” TA pg 52

“Grace redirects our focus away from perfection to correction.” TA pg 57

I find God’s grace so amazing! The fact that God keeps forgiving over and over again is just astounding! I appreciate applying observations and corrections in my TW journey, living under God’s grace rather then the path of my own performance. This is the reason I can continue persevering and not giving up. I know that “he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil 1:6


What is legalism and how does it affect our lives?
Legalism is all about rules and regulations. When following them a person can feel quite “righteous” and focus is on self. When failing to follow the rules and regulations we feel like complete failures and tend to beat ourselves up with the ‘club of condemnation’.

Legalism can be defined as a “self-defined system of control, safety, and security…. By focussing on externals---our diets, our weight, our eating or not eating—we avoid confronting the real issues in our lives: our fears, our unresolved grief, emotions, relationships, rebellion, and insecurities…. We fail to acknowledge that it is in our being (the intentions of our own hearts), not in our doing (our eating) that our true guilt lies.” TA pg 56

I often get caught up in legalistic thinking as I set myself goals with eating/exercise. I inevitably fail at some point, beat myself up about it, and then feel doomed to never succeed and have victory in this area of my life. I know that Satan is on the attack as it says, “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 I know God does not desire me to be in this cycle. He offers me His grace and His strength and power to experience surrender and victory in this area. Jesus says "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor. 12:9


List the Thin Within principles for weight mastery.
1. Eat when your body is hungry (‘0’).
2. Eat in a calm environment by reducing distractions.
3. Eat when sitting.
4. Eat when your body and mind are relaxed.
5. Eat and drink the things your body enjoys.
6. Pay attention to your food while eating.
7. Eat slowly, savouring each bite.
8. Stop before your body is full (‘5’).

“These principles apply to all the food you eat and all the beverages you drink, except water. Coffee, tea, alcohol, and diet sodas are included, because everything, except water, affects your body’s ability to register accurately its physiological hunger.” TA pg 61

I assume they would also classify an herbal tea (no sugar/cream) as similar?? I’m surprised at that. Not sure if I agree….


What is the Bodometer Process?
“It is a tool for turning our attention inward and listening to the signals our bodies are giving us in order to determine whether food (or something else) is needed.” TA pg 63

Basically it is paying attention to each different part of my body—mouth/teeth, throat, stomach and abdomen.


What is the hunger scale and how can it serve you?
0 = hungry/empty
5= comfortable or satisfied
10=stuffed

The aim should be to eat within 0-5. Eating 3-7 results in overeating and not losing weight.