Re-start.....again....

Well, I think it's time to push the re-start button again.... I feel like my eating is bordering on out-of-control again...at least tonight it was. I feel like I've had a few "off" days.

Maybe the transition of no longer publicly logging my eating has been part of the struggle. I find it interesting how I have been craving not-so-healthy choices more the past few days (which I've mostly resisted, but found it more difficult). I think it helped me stay focussed on eating more whole-body pleasers when I knew I was choosing to be transparent about each choice.

Of course it could have something to do with monthly hormone cycles too. Who knows! Whatever the case, I'm not satisfied to be in this place. I want my eyes to be on God, my Helper, my Savior.

I still desire to leave a favorite last bite of each meal as a sacrifice to the Lord, as a reflection of my surrendered heart. That will continue to be a challenge I work on. I have noticed how difficult it is! I guess the fact of the matter is that I usually eat what's on my plate and then often take one last nibble at the food in the serving dish etc. as that VERY last taste. So actually choosing to not even finish what's on my plate (even though it is just one little bite!) is a bit of a stretch for me! I think it is good to practice this as it will help me put the brakes on my eating, with my eyes on the Lord, when I am tempted to eat all the food on my plate past a #5.

I know there are a few things coming up this week that could set me off and act as triggers to eating outside 0-5. Here are the ones I know will be a little more challenging this week...

Planning for trials this week:

Monday
We're going to have a bit of an out-of-schedule kind of day as we spend a family day going biking and probably eating out (maybe just an ice cream stop). My aim will be to pack a light lunch for myself and take a very small serving of ice cream, maybe even just share Jon's ice cream treat and really savour those few bites... I like that idea:-) After our biking outing I plan on creating a "pyramid" cake for the Wed. school event (taste of egypt). I'll aim to completely avoid any of those cake trimmings or icing, except if I'm hungry of course, at which point it would just be a moderate amount.

Wednesday
I'm going to the school to help with the "Taste of Egypt" party. There will be lots of food around. I will maybe just skip/eat a light breakfast that day and enjoy the variety of food samples that will be served in the morning. I'll likely be busy for much of the time, but will probably be eating some samples a little later.

Thursday
Pizza lunch at school. I just need to make sure I'm hungry for that meal. Anytime I have to be hungry for a pre-set time I find it a little more challenging I guess. Then in the evening I'm out for coffee with a friend. Once again I will need to be alert and intentional.

One passage that has really been resonating with me the past week is Psalm 63:1-8

O God, you are my God,

earnestly I seek you;

my soul thirsts for you,

my body longs for you,

in a dry and weary land

where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary

and beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life,

my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live,

and in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;

I think of you through the watches of the night.

Because you are my help,

I sing in the shadow of your wings.

My soul clings to you;

your right hand upholds me.