Focus

Isn't this a freaky picture?!! I found it very hard to focus:-)

On Friday I was watching a christian TV talk show and one of the guests was a man named "The Diet Doc", Dr. Joe. I watched, curious to see what he would have to say and to hear a christian perspective to weight loss. I was so saddened as I watched the program unfold as they interviewed this fellow.

First and foremost nowhere did I hear that he is a believer (nor did I find it anywhere on his webpage that he is a christian)... I'm figuring he must be a christian if they are interviewing him on a christian program???

Secondly, everything was about following plans, rules, regulations, watching carbs, watching calories, watching what we eat....all focussed on FOOD! Nothing was addressed in regards to emotions, spiritual well being....focussing on God or His Word!

Then one of the talk show hosts continued to share how she had lost 60 lbs over the course of the past 10 years. And what followed was lots of congratulations and pats on the back, "Good job. What hard work. You did good. etc."~you get the idea. She looked very proud of herself...granted, I'm not going to judge her and her journey from that snapshot.

But the sad thing was that not ONCE was God glorified in the process...not once was any praise given to God for even something as simple as giving her a way out of temptation....not once was God given any air time. Oh how sad. I walked away quite shocked actually! The importance of THIS scripture was missed...

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the GLORY OF GOD. 1 Corinthians 10:31

God doesn't want us to keep Him out of this area of our life. I loved the way TLT (day 48) reflected that our need for food/physical nourishment is a shadow of the reality that we need spiritual food/nourishment. We NEED God MORE then we even need food! Imagine that! I know I certainly need Him every moment of every day!!! I am very weak and have many fleshly lusts that draw my focus away from my Greatest Treasure, Jesus Christ.

"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit..." Romans 1:17

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:31-34

I choose to fix my eyes and FOCUS on Jesus! (Hebrews 12:2)

The Lord's Table~final review

Well, I have reached the conclussion of TLT workbook study. What an awesome study! (As noted before: I did not follow the eating schedule, but rather simply ate 0-5 within hunger/fullness boundaries.)

In regards to weight release...I started TLT back on November 23rd 2008 at 153 lbs....and I have ended TLT today, on January 21st and am 153 lbs, within my BMI range (on my scale at least:-)! I'm okay with that! I'm obviously in a bit of a maintenance mode phase right now and that is a good thing. That is a whole new lesson in and of itself for me!

I can hardly begin to express all that I have learned! As I look back it is such an incredible journey I've been on:-)

Here are the TOP TEN thing I've learned...

1.) My motivation for losing weight needs to be for the glory of God alone.

2.) As I open wide my mouth, that I'm actually opening my ears and listening to His Word. As I pray and read the bible and listen to the Lord He fills me up! Him fillings me up truly meets the desires of my heart! Jesus and His words are the Living Water. I want to drink of the pure, refreshing source rather then a mucky mud puddle!

3.) Broken, helpless and contrite before the Lord is a good place to be, because I will depend on God so much more, and He will lift me up out of the muck and the mire and set my feet on solid ground! I can in no way claim glory for myself when I am depending on Him!

4.) Over the past two months, I have been "putting on" reading God's word, spending time with Him, praising Him, getting back to the basics of 0-5 eating. I'm still working on the "putting off" area!

5.) I've been reminded of the importance of the concept of confession and repentance and have come to truly appreciate the Thin Within concept of observation and correction. I want to do much much more of that!

6.) Just as the Israelites were ready for flight when they were leaving Egypt...so do I! I need to remember to fill up on God's word and spend time in prayer and praise prior to battle! And for me there are countless battles...some so small and some large! Battles all the same! I need to remember prayer and praise precede victory!

7.) I was reminded of the value of being intentional and pre-planning for trials. I must watch and pray as Jesus commanded. There are many links in the chain that leads to sin. Another way of putting it is there are many rungs to the ladder...I must not let Satan get even one foothold! I need to watch out for those steps, those links in the chain and break them as I drag every known sin into the Light!

8.) This study also reminded me how I must make my body a slave to Christ--my thoughts, my eating, my exercise, my words, my actions....

9.) Another key truth that has been hitting me over these months as I did this study are lining up my thoughts with God's word. Combatting a known beilef/lie/trigger with what God says. Then present it to God so the thoughts are in submission to God and His word. I must meditate on His word, fill up on good and excellent things and do His will.

10.) It is so important to stick close to Jesus, sitting at His feet and abiding in Him, fixing my eyes on Him alone. When I focus on Jesus I am sitting at His feet, abiding in Him, listening to him, humbly receiving His words, not pridefully harboring sin, but rather humble. When I fix my eyes on Jesus I'm focussing on seeking first His kingdom not on sin and my selfish wants and desires and fleshly lusts. When I fix my eyes on Jesus lies are automatically lined up with the His truth! He forgives. He loves. He frees. He teaches. He equips. He gives us His promises. He makes me into a new creation.

In conclussion the changes that have taken place in my heart and life are that I'm hungry for God's Word---REALLY hungry! That is a huge answer to prayer and I pray this continues! I can see how important it is to sit at Jesus' feet and fix my eyes on Him and fill up on Him and His Word. What a joy this has been! All praise and glory to God for the good work He has been doing in my life...

A Deeply Rooted Tree

I love going for walks along the river banks in our city. There is usually a lush green grassy area and then closer to the river, in a lower spot, there is a mucky area (only wet mucky in the spring season) where the river levels were higher during the spring melt. Not much grass grows in those areas because our growing season up here in the Canadians prairies is relatively short. However, what DOES flourish in this "mucky" area are the TREES! They are absolutely MASSIVE! So, when the mud dries up after the spring melt, then my husband and I love to go for bike rides along those dirt paths near the river. We admire the strong hardy trees. Oftentimes the roots are exposed...and we have to watch for the gnarled roots popping up on our path!

Summer '07 we took a trip down the west coast and enjoyed the beauty of God's creation along the way. Some of the trees we saw in Oregon and California were absolutely unbelievable! One of our favorite campsites was in Oregon, at Beverly Beach, close to Newport. We had this beautiful stream flowing right behind our campsite and it was so lush and green and the trees were absolutely stunning.

Right in our campsite. Those are quite the trees to attach a clothesline to, aren't they?! Absolutely massive!

The massive size of our "clothesline" trees in our campsite in perspective next to the kids.

A really cool tree we actually DROVE THROUGH in northern California! Very interesting experience! And an ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE TREE!

I want to be like those trees!

Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
Psalm 1:1-3

I want to "delight" in God's Word (like streams of water or the river that I mentioned above) and be nourished spiritually, rooted and built up in Him (Col. 2:6-7). I want to yield fruit, more specifically the fruits of the spirit~love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22-24).


The trees stretch so tall, seemingly almost to the sky. The thickness of the solid tree trunk is unbelievable...so sturdy, so hardy, so ancient. The roots of the trees twist this way and that...but they gravitate towards the stream. They soak up the nourishment. They grow strong. In the springtime and summer they are lush and green and sweet smelling. They stand the test of the storms, drought, heat, cold and time. It's hard to miss them as we walk along those river banks! And it's hard not to think of my Creator when I see these trees. They point straight to the awesomeness of God!


That's the way I want to be. I want to be a planting for the display of the Lord's splendor just like those trees, as He nourishes me, grows me, protects me, teaches me, equips me. I want to point other's to the Creator, my Lord! That is my prayer today.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
Isaiah 61:3

Willful Rebellion lined up with God's Truth

Day 14 of Thin Within is called "Choosing to Build on Truth." Here's a quote from Thin Within on pg 148:

The next time you face the pantry, refrigerator, or cookie jar, and you're really not hungry, ask yourself what you believe about your quest to become a vibrant, healthy temple of God. Ask yourself (and the Lord) what actions would follow if you were to believe what God's Word of truth says about you? God has promised to empower you so that your actions reap results that give glory to Him and an abiding joy within.

The Thin Within book has an exercise on pg 148 where you list your belief, what actions follow and then what the results are. I've done this exercise before and found it quite powerful. That being said, it's time to pick apart some of the thoughts that I noticed line the walls of my mind in certain times of temptations and then find scriptures to line up my thinking with the mind of Christ, keeping in mind that I am under the canopy of God's grace. So here goes... When I'm willfully rebellious I am thinking...and Scripture says...


1.) I (SELF) am the most important. My desires are the most important. I want what I want when I want it...and I get what I want.

Jesus replied: “'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37

For you, O LORD, are the Most High over all the earth; you are exalted far above all gods. Psalm 97:9

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Proverbs 3:5

everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made. Isaiah 43:7

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

God is above all. I am His creation. My job is to glorify Him in all I do, trusting Him and loving Him with my heart, soul, mind and strength. It is NOT glorifying to Him when I gratify the desires of my flesh.


2.) I've tried calling out to God in the midst of temptation before and it hasn't worked, so why bother trying?

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1
Corinthians 10:13

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; James 1:2-7

Why bother??? Because God promises that perseverance is developped and perseverance must finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Plus I am being called to press on, forgetting what is behind (all those past failures) so that I may win the prize (eternal life). That's worth it! God promises a way out of temptation, an escape route. I need to keep pressing on and looking for that way out and praying that promise. And then of course there is the truth recalled in the previous point...my greatest purpose in life is to glorify God in all I do.


3.) It will make me feel so much better (to eat that ice cream etc)--more energy, more enjoyment etc.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. Proverbs 14:12

Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more. Eph 4:19

Taste and see that the LORD is good; Psalm 34:8

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. Psalm 63:5

Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. Psalm 81:10

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Isaiah 55:2

It may make me feel better temporarily, but ultimately I will have a continual lust for more, food will never truly satisfy and it will lead to continued captivity. God promises to satisfy me more then even the richest foods. HE will fill me up.


4.) Just get it done and over with. I can't resist. Why bother?

"everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made." Isaiah 43:7

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Gal. 5:1

and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:27

Why bother??? Because God created me for His glory and I am to glorify Him in ALL I do, even my eating and drinking. Because, once again perseverance must finish its work so that I may be complete and mature spiritually, not lacking anything. God desires me to be FREE, not a captive! "Don't give the devil a foothold!" has been resonating with me today.


5.) God doesn't care about this one time, does He? He'd forgive me anyways, right?

Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Romans 12:9

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Eph 4:30

Of course He cares about this one time! One time piles on top of another time on top of another time which becomes a mountain eventually! God is saddened by my sin. He wants me to hate what is evil and cling to what is good and never give the devil a foothold.


6.) I sin. God forgives. I can count on that!

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. Romans 6:1-4

What a rotten attitude I have! God forgives me. I certainly can count on that. But it is “greasy grace” to think that this is license to continue sinning with no concern for true repentance. If I love God with my whole heart, soul, mind and strength I will NOT want to grieve Him and I will want to turn to Him to satisfy me and fill me up. I will want to move far away from sin and ever so much closer to Him!



This willful rebellion is just one of the temptation points, triggers (fat/flesh machinery), that I face on a regular basis. My prayer is, "Keep your servant, Christina, also from willful sins; may they not rule over me." (Psalm 19:13)

My next step is to formulate a plan in the midst of willful rebellion.

So, what is my plan of action, breaking a link in the chain??? I guess I need to apply these truths of Scripture to these moments now. It's test time! I need to be a "doer" of God's Word, not just a hearer.

Today I was standing at the counter and was wanting to reach for some sweet treats and the verse that popped into my head was "don't give the devil a foothold." I think that may be one of the truths I will have near and dear to my heart for awhile. Because that is what I'm doing when I give in with those small little temptations. It may seem insignificant and small, but in all honesty, my willful rebellion in those moments are giving a foothold (which I liken to a rung on a ladder) to Satan. And I want no part in that!!!

I plan to get a small spiral bound notebook and write some of the Scriptures that seem most benenficial down on these pages, and attach it to a necklace of some sort so I can wear it around the kitchen! That's when I'm most tempted so I thought that may be a good reminder for me to really apply these truths. I'll get that notebook asap. Just have to get to the store. The first verse I'm going to print out is "and do not give the devil a foothold." I will aim to memorize whichever scriptures are in this little notebook.

And I will also continue watching and praying, putting up that "keep away" sign, saying aloud as Jesus did "Get away Satan, for it is written..." and praying the promises of the Lord.

Well, that's enough from me today. I appologize to those of you who read my blog, for being so long winded. I guess this blog is just my way of processing everything (essentially my journal) and it all spews out here, each and every thought that runs through my head and heart!!!

The Lord's Table~Day 1

After reading Heidi & Paula's posts in regards to The Lord's Table, I felt convicted that I needed to study this material. I ordered the workbook and it arrived in the mail just the other day.

I had read about TLT before and come across their eating plan (liquids, half days, fasting days etc) and had completely disregarded the whole program because it just seemed too regimented and like a "diet."

But then I read that they have optional eating plan #2: GBS--Permission-Based Eating. GBS is short for Growly Belly Syndrome. While I no longer believe I need a rumbly tummy to distinguish whether I'm hungry or not, it is personally my most common signal for true physiological hunger. Putting that aside, I came to see that TLT wasn't going to be going a different direction than TW if I follow the permission-based eating plan.

I love the term "Permission-Based Eating" because of the simplicity of the term!

"Permission-Based Eating = Eating only when our bodies gives us permission to do so (by growling at us)." Mike Cleveland

I believe we can each follow our own personal "bodometer" readings (as TW encourages) to discern whether it is time to feed our bodies or not. It always amazes me how God has designed our bodies to know exactly when and how much to eat! It really and truly flies in the face of the diet industry's (MAN'S) rules and regulations!

Okay, moving onto day one, which I studied today.

--------------------------------------------------------

Day 1 ~ Proper Motivation: The Glory of God

My eyes were opened to the fact that my motives for losing/maintaining a reasonable weight get off track. I yo-yo between two ends of the spectrum.

Often-times my main motivation is the *correct* one....to surrender this area to God FOR HIS GLORY ALONE. I desire to cut out the root of sin in my heart, seeking His help and relying on Him and also enjoying increased intimacy with Him! I try to direct all the glory to Him for any successes/victories every chance I get.

Other times I yo-yo to the other end. I want to fit into my "skinny" jeans. I admire my slimmer body. I care more about what I wear. I know that deep down I often want to be noticed, to be thought more attractive, for people to notice I've lost weight and comment.

My heart is convicted. I know my primary motivation needs to be to do all things for HIS GLORY ALONE. I think this is part of the reason I've been yo-yoing around with inconsistent 0-5 eating. I need to focus on the fact that it really and truly should be all about God and NOT about me. I believe the changes WILL stick if I keep my focus on Him. As I deny self and follow 0-5 eating on account of HIM not on account of manipulating my weight so I can "show off" or impress people, then I know that I'll really and truly be a new creation.

Once again...

He must increase. I must decrease.

More of Him. Less of me.

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

Thin Within~Day 12

Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? 1 Corinthians 3:16

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

Since my body is God's temple and I am called to glorify Him with it....

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

I need to "renew" my mind so that I can "test" and "approve" what God's will is.

So how do I "renew" my mind? Chapter 12 outlines many different things in regards to legalism and grace and who we are in Christ. I think the following quote sums up what what I need to zone in on...

"In Christ" I am inspired by His Spirit to will and to work for His good pleasure (Ephesians 1:9).
"In Christ" I am equipped for whatever He calls me to do, and I am empowered to fight the good fight, holding on to faith and a good conscience (1 Timothy 1:18-19)
"In Christ," I eat only when I am truly hungry and I stop before I am
full. I am not obsessed by counting calories or fat grams. As I eat, I praise God for His goodness. I am free, no longer a slave to sin (Romans 6:6). I am raised up to live a new life of glorious freedom (Romans 6:4). I praise and glorify Christ, not myself. I love practicing the presence of God, walking in fellowship with Him moment by moment. It is truly the icing on the cake that I am releasing weight as well. TW pg122-123

Yesterday I highlighted that I was going to invite God into each meal experience and ask Him show me when and help me stop. So far so good. What a great God we have! I am so thankful for how He cares about these seemingly "mundane" details of life! I will continue with this prayer.

In addition I want to focus on gratitude and practicing His presence each and every moment...as I know I've written countless times on this blog! Once again I'm a broken record, aren't I? :-)

The neat thing is that I know God has been "transforming" me and growing me in quite specific ways for this season of my life... It's interesting looking back over the past year and seeing how He slowly but surely continually nudges me to grow in this area. He doesn't give up on me when I don't progress. His Spirit just keeps on convicting and gently speaking to me. Thanks Lord for Your patience and faithfulness with me!

Here's my exercise (still not squeezing that in) and eating log for today so far:

Exercise: x

Eating:
0-5 at 8:30am
0-5 at 1:00pm
0-5 at 6:20pm

Step out of Time

I have been listening to the following Matthew West song a number of times over the past few days and it just keeps resonating with me... I wish you could hear the tune, but the lyrics will have to do unless you buy the "History" album.

"Out of Time" by Matthew West

So, you're hungry for a taste of the other side

Where the grass is thick and green

But your feet are on familiar ground

Frozen and afraid of what you might lack

Oh, if that's all that's holding you back

Come on, step out of time

Fall out of line

Leave a mark they can't erase

Find your heart and lose your mind

Watch the journey unwind

And let it be a new day

Out of time

How's your story gonna read

When they call your name

And it's all there in black and white?

Will you follow or will you lead?

Will you quietly disappear

Or is this whole world gonna know

That you were here?

'Cause it's time to be free

It's time just to live what you believe

What you gonna do with the life you're living?

What you gonna make of the time you're given?

When you're free you have been forgiven

Now come on and step out of time

'Cause once you go you're gone forever

Don't you know it's now or never

But I can feel a change in the weather

Now come on and step out of time

Come on, step out of time

Fall out of line

Leave a mark they can't erase

Find your heart and lose your mind

Watch the journey unwind

And let it be a new day

Out of time

Now I know the purpose of this life is NOT for ME to be noticed! We're not to focus on leaving just ANY kind of mark! The kind of mark we're supposed to be focussed on is directing people's eyes to GOD and eternity. We were, after all, created for God's glory.

Everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my
glory, whom I formed and made. Isaiah 43:7

The glorifying-God kind of mark cannot be erased! The "size" or seeming impact of the mark left behind will vary according to human perspective...but ultimately, if people's eyes are drawn to God, this mark will have eternal impact because God will be glorified and will work it for His purposes in His time.

The reason this song resonates with me so much is that it draws up this image of stepping out of time--both a dancing image and a timeline image. The point is that God is calling us to see so much beyond our limitted vision of the here and now, all the pressures, the treadmill of life, the busyness that seems like we just have to stay caught up in, the trivial pursuits of life and on and on. Satan seeks to put blinders on our eyes, so we don't see the bigger picture, the larger tapestry of our lives that God is weaving. He doesn't want us to see or direct other's eyes to ETERNITY. He wants us to stay stuck on the treadmill, moment by moment focussing on ourselves and the pulls of this world.

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

But I know that God desires that each moment is to be focussed on HIM, whether the here-and-now moments or the moments that we will spend in eternity.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians 3:1-2

So, what does "stepping out of time" mean for me personally? This term seems to sum up what God is stirring in my heart lately.

Does it mean

...going overseas to minister in an orphanage?

...becoming a foster family?

...adopting a child who is in dire need, giving them a new "life"?

...ministering to immigrants in our own city?

...helping the poor and needy in a more tangible way?

...just being intentional about each and every interaction with each person in my sphere of influence?

What does it mean exactly? What am I supposed to be doing with me life? How am I to SPEND my life, each and every moment of it? Those are the nagging questions on my heart lately.

As I wait for God to answer I continue to seek to be intentional about each and every interaction with those in my sphere of influence as I know this is definitely something God wants me to do...

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Col. 4:5

But is there some "bigger" plan that God has in mind? I really don't know! It scares (and EXCITES) me to pieces! My life could be turned absolutely upside down if we were to go overseas or take in foster children or give selflessly to immigrant ministry...

WHAT is God calling me to do, to be, to become?

I want to step out of time. I don't want to waste this life. I want to spend my life for eternal impact.

So now, I choose to "fall out of line, to leave a mark that can't be erased, to find my heart and lose my mind, to watch the journey unwind and let it be a new day out of time..."

New Creation

Well, the last few days have been going well. I am feeling amazingly free with the goal of staying away from the scale. I think I just *may* be ready this time! I think I feel ready to be weaned and focussing on the 0-5 scale instead. Praise God!

The last few days I have been thinking that I need to take each moment at a time and focus on victory in the PRESENT moment. I wanted to take three days with no excuses, no rationalizing when wanting to eat outside 0-5. I was going to say I did two days 0-5 eating already....but actually looking at my private food log I see that it actually was only Tuesday that was 100% and today has been good....each moment I choose to be obedient to God certainly DOES feel like a big deal!! So, I will continue with the three days plan for today and tomorrow. I want to take these tempting moments as opportunities that I *really* do go before the Lord...as far too often I bypass fighting the temptation and I do things in my own flesh.

These verses really spoke to me on Sunday in my devotions...

"Lord God, in my inner being I delight in Your law, but I see another
law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. How wretched am I?! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 7:22-25

I can totally relate to these verses! I often feel like a prisoner to my fleshly desires--greed and gluttony, lack of self control, strong emotions, a loose tongue and more... Oh Lord, how wretched am I!!!! Thank you for providing a way out of this mess through Jesus Christ!

Then Monday morning as I was jogging (boy do I ever have some good times with God in those moments:-)...the following verses began to hit me...

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ
lives in me." Galations 2:20

Wow, I really AM a new creation! Why do I doubt this and live like I'm the "old" creation?! Satan keeps on dragging me down with temptation and with discouragement... But I'm not that "old" person anymore...the "old" has been crucified and Christ lives in ME and I've been made NEW! Praise God for these miracles!

Then I read this thread on the thinwithin forums and was greatly encouraged and challenged... I found it encouraging reading how others deal with temptation head on. It's time for me to really and truly do the same as I am a NEW creation! I desire to glorify God in all I eat, drink, think, say and do. I'll end with some these inspiring words...

"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we TAKE CAPTIVE EVERY THOUGHT to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

God's Work in Progress

Lil said it was time for a before and after picture... So, here's the best I can do for now (thanks to my husband's handy computer talents)! It's hard to really capture the physical difference that releasing 24 pounds makes...let alone the spiritual and internal difference it makes :-) I'm really blown away by all that God has done thus far. I'm looking forward to continued spiritual growth...and the release of more weight! I am certainly God's work in progress! I want all glory to go straight to God for all that He has done (and continues to do) in my life! What grace, mercy, love, tenderness, patience, power and faithfulness I have experienced! My heart is praising God.

“…being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil 1:6

A bit of this and that...

I know my eating hasn't been on track the past number of days...despite my last post about "today" being the day to get back on track. I still feel that something changed inside me the day I made my last post, even though I am "eating my words" as I have certainly not been reflecting a new start with my eating.

I think what clicked for me last Saturday was that I felt like I was once again "ready" to jump in all the way. I'm "ready" to observe and correct once again. I'm "ready" to seek God and His mercy, grace and power once again. I'm "ready"--well, as ready as you can ever be--to surrender this area to God once again. Now I know that my eating (and hence food log) doesn't reflect much of these changes...but I know the inner change will begin to be reflected with outer change as I once again aim to put God first. It's probably pretty evident why I am feeling the "need" to once again post my food log! It's certainly not to brag about being so "good" and "perfect" with 0-5 eating:-)

Okay, onto what God was impressing on me today. I was reading TW chapter 5 and was very encouraged as I read...

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I definitely feel quite "weak" right now. I know the sin of gluttony has deep roots in my life. Surrendering this area to God is tough! Yet I also know that God's power is proclaimed loud and clear when I surrender to Him and as He works change in this area of my life. That's an exciting thought for me! So I keep pressing on!

I also was encouraged by the mirror, mirror exercise today. I didn't actually follow through with the exercise exactly the way intended... But I did focus on different parts of my body and the ways they have been used by God for different purposes. I am thankful for the body God has given me. I am thankful for energy, stamina, & great health that I've been blessed with thus far. I am thankful for vision and purpose that allows me to use my strengths more effectively for His glory. I'll end with some favorite verse that were quoted at the end of TW chapter 5...

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb; I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16

The Impact of 0-5 on World Hunger

I was at my parent's place the other day and was reading this...

The following statistics stood out for me:

The one statistic that jumped out at me in particular, was that...

...hunger and poverty claim 25,000 lives every day (doing a bit of math it means that about every 3 seconds a person dies because of hunger or poverty)...

Wow! That is absolutely CRAZY! I'm mortified by this fact!

What does this say about my own choice to eat in EXCESS on a regular basis when others are DYING because they don't even have enough food to survive each day?!

I've sensed God challenging me to consider more practical steps towards better stewardship of all that I have been blessed with. I hope and pray our family can be part of changing that statistic in this upcoming year, no matter how small and insignificant our baby steps may seem.

Okay, first baby step I feel called to... Generally, our family of four spends about $600/month on groceries. Every now and then it dips closer to $550, though that is rare lately...and sometimes it is more then $600. This upcoming year I plan to be a bit more vigilant with my grocery choices and spending. And of course I will be more vigilant with my food consumption as well, since our whole family has been on board lately aiming to eat 0-5. Logically I would think our grocery budget would reflect some savings as we follow 0-5 eating...because we should all be eating LESS, right?!!! We plan to transfer any "savings" from grocery spending directly towards those in need. Our initial goal will be that each month any dollar under that $600 mark will be donated to those in need. So, we'll see how that goes! It should be a good challenge for us all!!!

Wouldn't it be amazing to actually see our obedience to God (with 0-5 eating) benefit those who are less fortunate?!

I'm sure that our trip to Mexico will open our eyes first-hand to the stark contrast between our lifestyle and those who live in poverty and inspire us to make changes. Maybe this is a large part of why God is calling us to take this trip. I hope and pray we come back home completely changed. I pray that we will come to a place of deeper surrender to God and all that He calls us to.

Follow-up: Prepared to Give an Answer

I posted about being prepared to give an answer here.

One day this week I had two people note that I had lost a lot of weight. Both times I stumbled around with my words trying to formulate a quick concise response... And both times I was able to direct the glory to God! Praise be to Him!

When my first friend commented, I awkwardly said "Thanks" and then proceeded to say that "it was all in God's strength." She responded saying, "I know it sure can be tough to lose weight..." And that was it!

My second friend was aware of TW and I was able to once again make it known that God is doing a good work. I wish I could have said more. But I know she knew that losing weight is rooted in a spiritual process for me.

I am thankful that God allowed me these opportunities. I feel that He has been preparing me for these moments, so that I would not rob Him of glory. So, my heart is soaring with praise to Him!

"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." 1 Peter 3:15

Weight release sure provides a great opening to glorify God! I pray for many more opportunities in the upcoming year to share Christ with others, in any way God chooses to use me (as exemplified by Beth Moore in the Hairbrush Experience). I pray that I would shine for Him in all areas of my life! Below are some verses that for many years have been my "life verses."

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. " Colossians 4:2-6

Family Mission Trip

I've mentioned our upcoming trip to Mexico a couple times here on this blog, so thought it was about time to give a more formal description of our plans...

We felt called to serving in some capacity this summer and God placed a passion and vision for our family to somehow minister to children at an orphanage. In December Jon went online and began researching different christian orphanages in the Yucatan in Mexico.

We both prayed that God would make it clear where we should go and to be able to discern His will. There were a couple options, but Bridge of Love had been the main one that really resonated with both of us...yet we didn't hear from the missionaries and by February had given up hope that this would even work. Two other orphanage ministries elsewhere in Mexico welcomed our help yet we didn't feel completely at peace with either of them.

I remember the day (because I journalled about it!), February 8th, that I let go of all the researching and strategizing and sensed God telling me to not worry about where to go, that He would direct us where He desired us to go. Jon felt the same way that day. We both felt like a weight had been lifted and didn't feel the pressure to have to figure this all out ourselves!

And then, with of course perfect timing, God made it completely evident to us where He wanted us to go! Everything just fit better then we could have even imagined! We received an email from Bridge of Love missionaries that very day expressing interest in our visit...it seemed like a perfect setting for our family to minister in comparison to other places we had researched...plus the accomodation costs were right in line with what we could afford....plus their mission organization purpose statement jumped out to us (In Essentials: Unity; Non-essentials: Freedom; In all things: Charity) and completely resonated with us! We were just blown away how God knew EXACTLY where to send us!

We are very excited about going and know that God will be growing and stretching us through this time!

So here are the details we know at this time:

1.) We are heading to the Yucatan, Mexico (mid-July through mid-August) for a time of service and then heading out for a time of family vacation.

2.) We are planning to spend 12 days visitting/serving at Bridge of Love, a christian orphanage and home for the elderly which is currently under construction and helping the two missionary families with any needs they may have.

3.) Two families are currently heading up this ministry. They currently have seven orphans and three of their own children all living in one home. They are also involved in the lives of the 20 children close to their home, and with 40 to 100 children in the village nearby. They are in the last stages of constructing the dorm and plan to expand this ministry further this year as a result. They are planting gardens, orchards and raising sheep with a vision to be able to provide for the needs of those living at Bridge of Love. They also work with pastors and churches throughout the yucatan planting churches as well as minister at a prison and rehabilitation facility nearby.

4.) We really don't know what to expect with our visit. We are of the understanding that we will be helping care for the children, giving our kids the opportunity to play together with them. We will also be helping with the gardening, the orchard, the sheep, any household needs they may have, possibly teach some english, and possibly help with some construction projects. We are putting together some mini bible story lessons, with songs and crafts that we hope to do with kids nearby. Basically we're going to go with the flow and do what God leads us to do!

Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Matthew 22:37-39

Wednesday update

Here's what I wrote on Sunday...
I'm going to the school to help with the "Taste of Egypt" party. There will be lots of food around. I will maybe just skip/eat a light breakfast that day and enjoy the variety of food samples that will be served in the morning. I'll likely be busy for much of the time, but will probably be eating some samples a little later.

Unfortunately, I need to be completely transparent with everyone and say I have really not done well today with my eating. One of my biggest "fat machinery" triggers is tiredness...and that was a huge factor today. I wasn't hungry for breakfast and at 11am (still don't think I was at #0...though I may have been too busy to notice!) when it was time to taste the samples I started to munch... Then on top of that I had some company for lunch...and the munching continued. And then more munching after that...

I thank God for His grace which I know He freely offers me...and boy do I need a lot of it!

Lord, I am so sorry for not being obedient. I choose to follow You. I want my life to be glorifying to You in ALL I say and do. In Jesus name, amen.

Since I just figured out how to post a youtube video properly I'll close off this post with a song which really moved me tonight...

"East to West" by Casting Crowns

Shine for Him

"Many of us go through life not quite understanding what we were designed to do. We, too, may feel inadequate, ineffective, and beat-up. The good news is that this isn't God's plan for you! You can start today doing that for which you were created. You can choose to shine. When you choose to glorify God, to make Him known, you are doing that for which you were created--'shining'."
TW pg28

"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16

I'm excited as I anticipate where God is leading! I want to SHINE for Him! "More" by Matthew West has been one of my favorites for the past couple years. It seems particularly fitting as I reflect on SHINING for Jesus!
"More" by Matthew West

Prepared to Give an Answer

In past years I would often have friends come up to me and say "You've lost weight!" and I'd usually be stunned because I was the same weight as usual (was probably just wearing a more flattering outfit!). Last time I lost about 8lbs (reaching 160lbs in March '07) I had many friends notice and say how they could really see the difference in my face etc.

Well, this time round I've had only one comment, despite releasing at least 16lbs (which seems like a lot to me!!!). I've found it surprising that few people have noticed this time round...not offensive or bothersome or even a pride thing, just surprising! I know that eventually weight release will change the way my body looks reflecting the changes from within (I think it has already)....and most likely people will notice the change...and I wouldn't be surprised if many will eventually comment.

The reason I bring this up is not because I want to be noticed or to be praised or to be congratulated... I just know that when physical changes happen people usually take note and often comment. And this time round I want God to get the credit for the changes. I feel God is preparing me and teaching me a lesson in all this. God has been working in my heart the past few days, bringing the following verse to mind frequently which really resonated with me:
"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." 1 Peter 3:15

I believe God is wanting me to be prepared with an answer when people say "You've lost weight. How did you do it?". I know that God has been central in this whole journey and truly the reason for the changes in me (inside and out). I also believe the purpose of this journey has been to ultimately bring God more glory (just as allowing Lazarus to die and then going back and raising him back to life was about God's glory being put on display). I don't want to gip God of ANY glory. I want my answer to point straight to Jesus.

Up until now I don't think I've been fully prepared with a God glorifying answer (at least not a concise one!!!). In the past few days God has started convicting me of this need. I have been encouraged and excited about the this opportunity to be missional in all of this, planting seeds in people's hearts that hopefully stimulate further spiritual discussion. I have been running over things I could say. I am primarily thinking of friends who are non believers who ask this question....how can I be a witness for Christ and bring glory to Him even through something as "ordinary" as weight loss!

So, I'm mulling over what I can say, as I trust the day will come when weight release will be more evident... I want my response to be at the tip of my tongue and God glorifying! One response (to non believers) that keeps running through my head is, "I know this may sound strange to some people, but it's really all about loving God and enjoying food, not the other way around." And then I could go into how I simply followed the God-given hunger/satisfaction signals. This would reflect how this journey has been about surrendering my appetite for food to God. Another response could be, "It has been a very spiritual process for me. God is really changing me from the inside out." I'm still thinking through this one and I am finding that just trying to find these words has helped me reflect more on the changes that God is working in my heart.

Any other thoughts? Any response that some of you have already used and found quite effective and God glorifying? I really want God to get all the glory this time round!

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Thin Again - ch 2 reflections

I just finished reading chapter 2. It took a few days to read. I've still not completely absorbed it. Definitely a deeper, more introspective read then Thin Within. I can see how people could find it painful and difficult to read this book as the authors really are drawing the reader's attention to wounds in their life and very effectively seem to also walk the reader through the process of healing and right relationship with God and others. Since I've not experienced the kind of trauma in my life that requires this degree of introspection I find of a lot of the points/observations not quite as applicable to my own life situation at this time. However, there is still MUCH to be learned and that I am learning as I turn the pages of this book.

A few quotes that stood out for me:

"Eugene Peterson comments, 'Any formula that prevents failure also prevents freedom.'" (TA pg. 34)

"Peterson continues, 'He who has never failed somewhere, that man cannot be great. Failure is the true test of greatness.' Our greatness lies in our faith in God. He is always there to pick us up, and he continues walking with us until we have our ultimate freedom, when the underlying causes of our disordered eating have been resolved." (TA pg. 35)

I was absolutely blown away by the story of Lazarus and the lessons learned from that story. I had actually studied this story from John 11 just last month while reading "Calm my Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow. It was talking about how Jesus could have spared Lazarus from dying had he gone right aways when he received word of Lazarus' sickness... Then Lazarus dies and when Jesus receives word of this He says, "...and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him." (John 11:15) Then He brings Lazarus miraculously back to life and Jesus says, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:40) As I reflected on this story it struck me how God allows things into our lives so that people will be drawn to believe Him and seek Him...and ultimately God is glorified.

Thin Again chapter 2 drives home another very thought-provoking point from this story that I never noticed before...

"Scripture tells us simply, 'The dead man came out' (v. 44a). Lazarus emerged from the dark tomb after lying dead for four days. He says nothing and does nothing. His face is covered, his hands and feet are bound. He can't see, he can't touch anyone, he can't move very well. 'Take off the grave clothes and let him go,' Jesus tells them (v. 44b). He doesn't address Lazarus. He doesn't tell Lazarus to take off his own grave clothes. He tells the friends and relatives and those who had been in mourning to take off the grave clothes. They are to restore Lazarus to his place in the community, to sight, touch, and wholeness." (TA pg. 37)

"He (God) helps us to heal through restored intimacy by calling us into relationships where we must first rely on him and then on others to help unwrap the grave clothes. Thus our healing process becomes a marriage of the divine and the human. Divine power raised Lazarus and raises us from the dead, and human power unwrapped him and unwraps us. The spiritual and physical reality combine to bring a complete healing." (TA pg.38)

What powerful lessons are contained in that story of Lazarus! I'm going to have to chew on these thoughts for a few more days....

View my Daily Food Log here.

April 9

April 9th food log:
(Chapter 9)

“God uses each and every tear we have shed and every pain we have experienced to form and mold our character, to strengthen us, and to draw us closer to His heart. He wants us to experience His strength and sufficiency. He uses affliction to cause us to see our need for Him and our struggles with food, eating, and our bodies to send us to Him, to look for HIS solution. In our weakness, He is made strong. He uses even this personal battle you are experiencing and He will redeem it for His glory.” P. 87/88

“Anita, a participant who released twenty pounds, said ‘Through TW I came to see that the trials I had faced and the way I had chosen to deal with them—by running to food—were actually God’s way of calling me into closer fellowship with Him. When my food and eating problem became desperate, I saw my need for a great deliverer. God has taken my trials and hardships, and used them to build my character and transform my life.’” P88

April 3

April 3rd food log:
(Chapter 3)

#1 By God’s grace and strength I will be 159 lbs by day 30. (currently 165lbs)
#2 By God’s grace and strength I will exercise 5x each week (Mon, Tues, Wed, Fri, Sat)
#3 By God’s grace and strength I will follow my daily day plan & tidy my laundry rm.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1Cor. 10:31

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Cor. 3:18

Lord, I am thankful for your promise to change me to become more like you. Amen

MARCH - TW ch 29

March 29th food log:

I found it interesting doing the survey on p. 309-312. I found there actually were some changes to some of the answers compared to a month ago. Kind of neat actually. I feel I’m actually not worrying about my weight and food as much. I find this quite interesting as in the past I was much more consumed and stressed about this when eating within hunger/fullness. I feel this is a change in the right direction. Also, I feel there have been changes in my approach towards social eating. I don’t feel it is as much of a problem. I feel like I’ve experienced some victory in this area. I DEFINITELY know that my attention towards eating to fullness has changed. This is something I have never focussed on properly. I have tended to only focus on hunger “0”. So, this is quite an encouraging change as well. And I definitely feel I have changed in my approach towards eating….I have the conscious eating tips ingrained in my thinking. So, praise God for these changes. I’m encouraged to look back and see some changes. I look forward to these being cemented further. I really want to see 0-5 eating just flow naturally from me, no stress about it, but just flowing as second nature. I look forward to the day when it just works that way. I feel I’m on the right path right now. I also look forward to the day when I experience victory in the face of temptation. ...actually the focus needs to be entirely on God and the ways of escape that He has provided, as this is the only true hope for victory. This is definitely an area that needs to be focussed on.

A couple verses I have found have stood out to me over the past while are:

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
1 Corinthians 10:13

Hmmm….I never noticed before that the passages references were nearly identical with the “1” and “3” switched around! Interesting!!! That should help stick it in my memory!

Here are some goals (to be done in God’s strength) I have for the next stretch as I will have completed the book as of tomorrow…
1.) Re-read highlighted portions of book and also my journaling.
2.) Continue keeping a daily journal and food log.
3.) Continue conscious eating and 0-5 eating – aim for at least 90% eating at “0”
4.) Daily, read/study topics/words under the concordance and personalize/pray these verses.
5.) Exercise 20 minutes 5x/week starting April 1st.
6.) Make a daily schedule to help fulfill goals and follow God’s leading.
7.) Plan for trials and be prepared. Pray a prayer of surrender daily. Look for the escape from temptations.
8.) My goals are:
*mid-April 160lbs
*mid-May 155lbs
*mid-June 150lbs *147lbs by the beginning of summer vacation