What is disordered eating?
- preoccupation with food/eating
- food is used to insulate or numb emotional pain
- food is used to satisfy unfulfilled yearnings to be loved, cherished, adored
- food/eating is used to try to achieve some order in a disordered life
- joy/pleasure of eating has been lost
- food/eating cause a disruption in life
- food/eating control us rather then vice versa
- food has become an enemy rather than a friend
Describe your disordered eating.
I can relate to preoccupation with food/eating and food/eating controlling me. I don’t struggle with this on a constant basis…though usually a daily basis.
What are the causes of disordered eating?
Trauma, abuse, having been a very sensitive child, controlling environment, lack of validation of feelings.
List the possible causes of your disordered eating and how they have influenced your eating.
Looking back I see one thing that certainly affected my eating patterns at an early age. I spent my elementary school years in boarding school. I lived by the same schedule as everybody else (a very “controlled” environment…our life was lived as a community so it was very rigid). I was used to eating at certain times, only being able to eat certain things, no freedom to go and grab a snack or make meal choices etc. When I returned to Canada at age 12 I suddenly had that all stripped away. I began to get a little carried away with the “freedom” available in a home environment and also the abundance of “junk” that is a little more readily available in North America. In many ways I wish I was given me a bit more structure and guidance and suggestions on healthy eating habits at this turning point of my life. Age twelve, height 5’6”, I went from a healthy 115 lbs to an overweight 160 lbs in a matter of 2-3 years. I don’t cast any blame, but do notice that this was a turning point for me. And I think the main culprit was truly a change in structure from a controlled environment to a free environment. And then of course the next step was moving out and getting married….yet another step in an even more “free” environment. And my weight spiralled out of control yet more….from 175lbs when I got married to 205lbs on our first wedding anniversary.
- preoccupation with food/eating
- food is used to insulate or numb emotional pain
- food is used to satisfy unfulfilled yearnings to be loved, cherished, adored
- food/eating is used to try to achieve some order in a disordered life
- joy/pleasure of eating has been lost
- food/eating cause a disruption in life
- food/eating control us rather then vice versa
- food has become an enemy rather than a friend
Describe your disordered eating.
I can relate to preoccupation with food/eating and food/eating controlling me. I don’t struggle with this on a constant basis…though usually a daily basis.
What are the causes of disordered eating?
Trauma, abuse, having been a very sensitive child, controlling environment, lack of validation of feelings.
List the possible causes of your disordered eating and how they have influenced your eating.
Looking back I see one thing that certainly affected my eating patterns at an early age. I spent my elementary school years in boarding school. I lived by the same schedule as everybody else (a very “controlled” environment…our life was lived as a community so it was very rigid). I was used to eating at certain times, only being able to eat certain things, no freedom to go and grab a snack or make meal choices etc. When I returned to Canada at age 12 I suddenly had that all stripped away. I began to get a little carried away with the “freedom” available in a home environment and also the abundance of “junk” that is a little more readily available in North America. In many ways I wish I was given me a bit more structure and guidance and suggestions on healthy eating habits at this turning point of my life. Age twelve, height 5’6”, I went from a healthy 115 lbs to an overweight 160 lbs in a matter of 2-3 years. I don’t cast any blame, but do notice that this was a turning point for me. And I think the main culprit was truly a change in structure from a controlled environment to a free environment. And then of course the next step was moving out and getting married….yet another step in an even more “free” environment. And my weight spiralled out of control yet more….from 175lbs when I got married to 205lbs on our first wedding anniversary.
Top Left (12 yrs - 115lbs)
Top Right (15 yrs - 160 lbs)
Bottom Left (newly married - 175 lbs)
Bottom Right (1 yr later - 205 lbs)
Summer 2007 at about 175 lbs
At this time in my life, I think the main causes of my disordered eating are generally just my own lack of self-control and rebellion…and also love for food. I find that whenever I face one of my “triggers” (fat machinery – TW chapter 11) I experience disordered eating. So, for example if I’m out for a meal, baked a batch of cookies, feel particularily tired and exhausted, if I have some treats lying around the house….these are the moments that I become preoccupied with food (and getting what I want…right NOW!) and this is when the food almost controls me (feels magnetic).
What is silent hunger and where does it come from?
Our longing for intimacy where our deepest needs for security and significance can be substantially met. It is one of our most basic human needs. God intends our deepest need for intimacy to be met in relationships, heavenly and earthly.
What are impediments to intimacy?
Rejection, death, abuse, enmeshment, abortion, adoption.
How have these impediments impacted your life? What counterfeits have you turned to in attempting to satisfy your God-given need for intimacy?
I don’t think I can relate to any of these at this time in my life.
What is silent hunger and where does it come from?
Our longing for intimacy where our deepest needs for security and significance can be substantially met. It is one of our most basic human needs. God intends our deepest need for intimacy to be met in relationships, heavenly and earthly.
What are impediments to intimacy?
Rejection, death, abuse, enmeshment, abortion, adoption.
How have these impediments impacted your life? What counterfeits have you turned to in attempting to satisfy your God-given need for intimacy?
I don’t think I can relate to any of these at this time in my life.
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