ThinWithin~Day18, 19, 20

I know my blog hasn't been exactly active the past week or so! And also not exactly positive, upbeat and motivating! But I'm still here. And I know this is part of the journey. I will have my valleys and times where I take a detour from God's path...and then, praise be to God for His faithfulness and grace, I am able to get back on His path. I'm committed to this process, through its ups and downs. As Susan so aptly wrote here,

I have finally (after years of going around the same woodshed) come to the realization that this journey is not going to end in my lifetime. And for the first time I am ok with that. Because the journey in learning to be a thin eater really mirrors my journey into being transformed into His likeness.

THIS I can relate to. THIS is why I don't give up.

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18

So onto my TW readings. Here's a quote that struck me...

When we acknowledge that we have chosen to do what is right in our own eyes, such as eat that third donut, we have made a choice in the flesh. We stand in agreement with God and confess that we have made a DETOUR from the path of God's provision. If our hearts are open to Him, we will see that the scenery is much grander back on His path. So we humbly admit to Him that we have wandered off the road. This is the first step of repentance. TW pg194

I have definitely been taking a detour the past couple weeks. I slipped
down the slippery slope and found myself in the muck and mire...or more rightly, in a pile of candy wrappers and other sugary treats, gluttonous and greedy for food.

Following up an exercise in Chapter 19 on pg 198:

"I choose to receive Your (God's) forgiveness for myself for..."

...my willful rebellious detour the past few weeks. I can see that ever since July, when my weight settled into my BMI zone, that I have allowed food to once again increase in importance. I have not fully surrendered to You. Please forgive me. Help me not "play" thin and surrendered...but actually BE surrendered to You on the INSIDE. No acting. No following a fixed formula. No pushing the boundaries. Help me be surrendered. I thank You for Your forgiveness. Amen.

I found it interesting to note the shift in my attitude towards food, eating & surrender since early summer. (That's nearly 5 months already! How crazy is that!!)

Would I be willing to once again leave the best bite on my plate as a sacrifice to the Lord?

Would I be willing to skip dessert if I'm already at a #5?

And then I had a verse hit me yesterday as I pondered "more of Him and less of me."

He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30

And then I read a quote from Mike Cleveland in "The Lord's Table" (as highlighted in Heidi's post.)

Overeating is defined as continuing to eat past the point of receiving all we need to sustain our lives.

How often do I push the boundaries, eating so much beyond what is needed to sustain my life?

How often do I push God to the side and take first place and do things MY own way?

He must increase, I must decrease.

For me to turn down the extra candy bars I'm craving, to not have dessert because I'm already satisfied, to not take that extra serving of pizza, to not munch on something just because I feel like it....is for me to decrease and HIM to increase! Because in all honesty I can't do this on my own in my own strength. He will HAVE to increase if I'm to have victory in this area.

So I offer ALL of me to the Lord. There are many areas besides eating and gluttony that I need to surrender to the Lord: laziness, thoughts that aren't pleasing to God, my words/speech, my attitudes...

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1-2

More of Him. Less of me. He must increase. I must decrease.