The Lord's Table~Day 13

Okay, I'm going to try and make this as quick as possible since I'm really in dire need of a nap already (at 9:30am....it was a very restless night)! But I want to share what God has been doing in my heart in the past day.

Day 13~New Direction

First of all, today's lesson continues on the theme of true repentance and zones in on godly sorrow. Godly sorrow showed itself in the lives of the Corinthians (2 cor. 7:8-13) in earnestness, indignation, fear, longing, zeal and avenging of wrong. Worldly sorrow just brings loss, suffering and death. Godly sorrow brings about repentance.

I loved this verse,

And it will be said: "Build up, build up, prepare the road! Remove the obstacles out of the way of my people." For this is what the high and lofty One says—he who lives forever, whose name is holy: "I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite." Isaiah 57:14-15

God dwells with and revives the lowly in spirit and contrite. Oh how I long to be truly contrite and completely humbled and surrendered and waiting on the Lord to meet all my needs.

Friend, the teaching of both yesterday and today define what true repentance is. It is turning completely away from sin, doing an about face, and then pursuing God with a reckless abandon. And it is also sorrowing over sin to such an extend that the heart begins to hate the sin and turn from it. This is repentance, and if either of these elements are missing the freedom from sin will not be lasting. If one merely feels sorrow over the sin but does not turn from it then he is not free. Or if one merely turns from the sin but does not develop a heart-sorrow over it he is not free either. Both must be present in the life. TLT workbook pg 43

I'm struggling with both these elements of repentance... But I think the root of it is the heart-sorrow is lacking. I believe overeating is a sin. But I'm still struggling with whether eating outside 0-5 on occasion is actually sin... This is probably the root of my problem. I need godly sorrow and repentance in this area. This is what I'm praying for.

I could relate to a quote from course member Nancy:

Saying I am sorry with a mouth full of food just is not repentance. TLT workbook pg44

So I've been praying for true repentance and godly sorrow. I want God to open my eyes to see the yuckiness of sin.

As I was heading out on errands last night a song began playing on the radio and it truly touched my heart and brought me to tears. I realize the song is touching on the sin of marital unfaithfulness in particular, but I really believe it can apply to ANY sin. Here's the video of the song...

"Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns



As I listened to this song and thought about the example I am to my kids, my heart was truly sorrowful. I don't want my kids to have the same baggage I'm carrying. I don't want them to struggle with this sin of gluttony. They watch. They learn. They see the greed quite often I'm sure. And I can see the seed of greed growing in their hearts as well. This saddens me to the point of tears. Just as I feel sorrow at the thought of my kids in bondage to this sin, I am sure God feels all the more sorrowful as He sees me in bondage when He keeps extending His grace and mercy and strength and fulfillment to me.

I realize I'm not just harming myself by sinning and my relationship with God by sinning....but I'm also harming my children. I've realized this before, but it hit me afresh last night. And it was just the reminder I needed. This sin doesn't just pop up overnight. It is a "slow fade."